365 Manners Kids Should Know

1. Manners Begin at Home: The Foundation of Courtesy

Whether we like it or not, learning usually takes place in the home, through imitation.

Home as the first classroom. Children learn manners primarily by observing their parents and other family members. The behaviors they witness at home, both good and bad, shape their understanding of courtesy and respect. Parents must model the manners they wish to instill in their children.

Early and consistent training. Teaching manners should begin as soon as a child is born, with simple concepts like "please" and "thank you" introduced early. As children grow, expectations should increase, with basic manners expected from a five-year-old and more complex social skills from a teenager.

• Three-year-olds should establish eye contact, say hello, wash hands, stay seated during meals, use utensils, and say "please" and "thank you."
• Ten-year-olds should hold conversations with adults, use good table manners, answer the phone properly, show self-control, keep their rooms neat, and be on time.
• Fifteen-year-olds should initiate conversations with adults, pick up after themselves and their friends, maintain an acceptable noise level, be kind to siblings, and express appreciation.

Consistency is key. Good manners should be practiced at home as well as in public. Having different codes of conduct for different settings can be confusing and impractical. The family deserves to see each member's best behavior, and this consistency helps manners become habits.

2. Body Basics: Hygiene and Self-Presentation

It’s easy being clean.

Cleanliness is essential. Good personal hygiene is not only about health but also about showing respect for others. Children should be taught to keep their bodies clean, wash their hands frequently, and maintain fresh breath.

• Hands should be kept out of the nose, ears, and mouth.
• Hands should be washed before and after eating, after using the bathroom, and after playing outside.
• Teeth should be brushed in the morning and evening, and flossing should be introduced by third or fourth grade.

Grooming is private. Grooming activities, such as brushing hair, clipping nails, and applying perfumes, should be done in private, not in public spaces. Perfumes and scents should be used in moderation, as they can be overwhelming or cause allergic reactions in others.

Appropriate attire. Dressing appropriately for the occasion shows respect for others and the setting. Clothing should be clean, and jewelry should be worn in moderation. Children should understand that their clothing makes a statement and that dressing appropriately is a sign of respect.

3. Gender-Specific Courtesies: Respectful Interactions

Your son should let a girl or woman go through an open door ahead of him.

Gentlemanly conduct. Boys should be taught to be aware of others and to protect those who are more vulnerable. This includes holding doors for women, letting them go first, and offering help with heavy items.

• They should also be aware of their posture, sitting and standing tall to communicate confidence and respect.
• They should ask for dates in person or on the phone, and be specific about the plans.
• They should remove their hats at appropriate times, such as at the table, during prayer, and indoors.

Gracious behavior. Girls should be taught to sit gracefully, with their knees together and their backs straight. They should accept dates with enthusiasm and decline them kindly.

• They should also be aware of their posture and movements, and strive to be gracious and self-controlled.
• They should be able to converse openly and warmly with the parents of their friends.
• They should volunteer in their communities and show kindness to younger siblings and other children.

Respect for all. While these gender-specific courtesies are important, it's also crucial to teach all children that showing consideration for others is a fundamental aspect of good manners, regardless of gender.

4. Family Time: Harmony and Consideration

The family deserves to see their best behavior.

Respect at home. Children should treat their family members with the same respect they would show to guests. This includes greeting parents with courtesy, respecting the privacy of others, and using good table manners.

• They should knock on closed doors before entering, borrow items only with permission, and spend time with their siblings.
• They should also ask family members how things are going and use an "indoor voice" when they're in the house.

Blended families. In blended families, children should show respect to stepparents and stepsiblings. This includes acknowledging their presence, calling them by the name they choose, and celebrating their birthdays and accomplishments.

• They should also communicate with their stepsiblings, express their preferences, and be willing to compromise.
• They should avoid comparing the two families and making the stepparent look bad in comparison.

Home alone. When children are home alone, they should follow household rules, keep doors locked, and not let strangers into the house. They should also have a list of phone numbers to call if they feel scared.

5. Friendship and Community: Building Positive Relationships

Friendships need attention in order to grow.

Friendship is a two-way street. Children should take responsibility in their friendships, initiating contact, suggesting activities, and sharing secrets. They should also be aware of their friend's feelings and avoid being bossy or demanding.

• They should be sincere and truthful when giving compliments, focusing on specific actions rather than sweeping statements.
• They should be aware of who may overhear a compliment and avoid making others feel self-conscious.

Dealing with bullies. Children should never let someone else be abusive to them. They should ask an adult for help if they are being bullied, and they should never participate in bullying others.

• They should also be aware of the pecking order among kids and avoid taunting or deliberately annoying older children.

New kids and moves. Children should be friendly to new kids in the neighborhood and at school, and they should say a proper goodbye to friends who are moving. They should also be sympathetic to friends who are experiencing loss or bad news.

6. Communication Skills: The Power of Words and Actions

Our time is limited. We can’t stretch the length of a day, and we can’t make time slow down.

Be on time. Being on time shows respect for others and their time. Children should plan ahead, organize their things, and give themselves enough time to get ready.

• If they are going to be late, they should call and explain.

Focus on others. Children should focus on others when they are with them, whether at the table, in conversation, or at a program. They should avoid distractions and give their full attention to the people around them.

• They should also be aware of their body language, using good posture, eye contact, and a friendly smile to communicate interest and respect.

Conversation skills. Children should learn to use positive words, avoid swearing, and speak clearly. They should also learn to change the subject politely, avoid interrupting, and use humor appropriately.

• They should also be aware of their tone of voice and avoid asking none-of-your-business questions.

7. Digital Etiquette: Navigating the Modern World

The same rules apply.

Technology is an extension of real life. The same basic rules of courtesy and respect apply to digital communication as they do to face-to-face interactions. Children should be aware that the people they interact with online are real people and deserve the same consideration.

Cell phone manners. Children should use cell phones responsibly, taking calls in private, keeping their ringtones appropriate, and avoiding chewing while talking. They should also be aware of their voice volume and avoid making calls in the bathroom.

• They should also be mindful of their text messaging habits, avoiding texting at inappropriate times and to the wrong person.

Social media safety. Children should be aware of the risks of social media and take steps to protect themselves. This includes not sharing personal information, not posting inappropriate content, and not engaging with strangers.

• They should also be aware of the privacy settings of social media sites and use them to protect their information.

E-mail etiquette. Children should use proper grammar and punctuation in their e-mails, and they should be responsive to messages. They should also be aware of the proper use of "cc" and "bcc" and avoid forwarding messages without permission.

8. Dining Decorum: Table Manners and Beyond

Good manners is the sound not heard while eating soup.

Proper posture. Children should sit up straight at the table, with their feet flat on the floor and their elbows off the table. They should also bring food up to their mouths, rather than leaning down to their plates.

Basic table manners. Children should wait to begin eating until everyone has been served, pass food to the right, and chew with their mouths closed. They should also avoid bringing cell phones, books, or other distractions to the table.

• They should also learn to cut meat properly, butter bread a small piece at a time, and use utensils correctly.

Handling difficult foods. Children should learn how to eat difficult foods, such as soup, pasta, shish kabob, corn on the cob, and lobster. They should also know how to remove items from their mouths discreetly and what to do with a belch.

Special diets. Children should be respectful of others' dietary restrictions and avoid making comments about their food choices. They should also be aware of their own dietary needs and communicate them to their hosts.

9. Special Occasions: Grace and Consideration

A gentleman doesn’t need to be reminded about holding the door for others.

Birthdays. At their own birthday parties, children should greet each guest by name, let the friend offer the gift, and spend time talking with each guest. When attending a birthday party, children should RSVP promptly, bring a gift, and thank the host before leaving.

Weddings. Children should be on their best behavior at weddings, arriving on time, sitting quietly during the ceremony, and using their best table manners at the reception. They should also be aware of the receiving line and follow the proper protocol.

Receptions. At receptions, children should stay with their parents, keep their voices low, and avoid running around. They should also be aware of the buffet table and serve themselves appropriately.

Awards and recognition. When receiving an award, children should walk with good posture, accept the award with a low "thank you," and avoid drawing attention to themselves.

10. Travel and Public Spaces: Respectful Navigation

Our time is limited. We can’t stretch the length of a day, and we can’t make time slow down.

Air travel. Children should be prepared for air travel, understanding that they will have limited space and should be considerate of other passengers. They should also keep their voices low and avoid making excessive noise.

Train travel. Train travel offers more freedom, but children should still be considerate of other passengers. They should also be aware of the rules of the train and follow them.

Hotels. Children should be considerate of others in a hotel, keeping the noise level low and avoiding running in the halls. They should also keep their rooms neat and clean.

Public spaces. Children should be aware of their behavior in public spaces, such as playgrounds, swimming pools, and movie theaters. They should be respectful of others and follow the rules of the space.

• They should also be aware of their noise level and avoid making excessive noise.

11. Environmental Responsibility: Being Green

Environmental manners.

Home habits. Children should be encouraged to turn off lights, conserve water, and recycle. They should also be aware of the waste they produce and take steps to reduce it.

At a friend's house. Children should be aware of their friend's family's environmental practices and respect them. They should also avoid criticizing or judging others for their choices.

At school. Children should be encouraged to walk, bike, or take the bus to school, and they should use recycled paper and reusable lunch containers. They should also be aware of the school's recycling program and participate in it.

Outdoors. Children should stick to the trail, stick to a campsite, and share the trail with others. They should also leave nothing behind and take nothing with them.

• They should also be aware of their noise level outdoors and avoid making excessive noise.

12. American Citizenship: Pride and Participation

Appreciating ideals and learning patriotism.

National anthem. Children should stand tall and quiet during the national anthem, showing respect for their country. They should also sing along if they know the words.

Pledge of Allegiance. Children should stand, look at the flag, and place their hand over their heart when reciting the Pledge of Allegiance. They should also understand the meaning of the words they are saying.

Care of the flag. Children should understand the proper way to display and care for the U.S. flag. They should also know that the flag should never be used in a practical way, such as to cover a table.

Community involvement. Children should be encouraged to be active members of their communities, volunteering their time and participating in local events. They should also be aware of their role as citizens and take pride in their country.

Last updated: January 22, 2025