A Praying Life

1. Prayer Exposes Our Deepest Needs and Desires

Prayer, the concept and the practice, exposes our core doubts and desperation for God.

Unveiling our hearts. Prayer isn't just a religious duty; it's a mirror reflecting our deepest insecurities, doubts, and longings. When we slow down to pray, we often find ourselves confronted with our own self-preoccupation, our wandering minds, and our hidden cynicism. This exposure, though uncomfortable, is essential for genuine spiritual growth.

Beyond surface requests. The act of praying reveals that our needs go far beyond the material or the immediate. We may start by asking for a parking spot or a promotion, but prayer often leads us to confront our deeper need for connection, purpose, and meaning. It exposes our desperation for a relationship with God.

Authenticity over performance. Prayer exposes the gap between our ideal selves and our actual selves. It reveals our tendency to perform spirituality rather than live it. This exposure is a gift, as it allows us to come to God honestly, just as we are, rather than trying to present a polished version of ourselves.

2. Praying Like a Child Unlocks Intimacy with God

Unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

Simplicity and trust. Jesus calls us to approach God with the same simplicity, trust, and lack of pretense that children have with their parents. This means abandoning our adult tendencies to overthink, overanalyze, and overcomplicate prayer. It's about coming as we are, messy and imperfect.

Uncensored communication. Children don't filter their thoughts or feelings; they just say what's on their minds. Similarly, we should feel free to express our true selves to God, including our doubts, fears, and frustrations. This honesty is the foundation of a genuine relationship.

Playful engagement. Prayer isn't meant to be a rigid, formal exercise. Like children at play, we should approach prayer with a sense of freedom, curiosity, and even joy. This means allowing our minds to wander, our conversations to meander, and our hearts to connect with God in unexpected ways.

3. Consistent Time with God Cultivates Dependence

The Son can do nothing of his own accord.

Jesus' example. Even Jesus, the Son of God, needed to withdraw from the crowds and spend time alone with his Father in prayer. This demonstrates that prayer is not a sign of weakness but a vital expression of our dependence on God. It is a relationship, not a duty.

Intimacy requires space. Just as any relationship needs time and space to grow, so does our relationship with God. This means setting aside regular, focused time for prayer, free from distractions and interruptions. It's not about the quantity of time but the quality of our presence.

Beyond multitasking. In our busy, multitasking world, it's easy to treat prayer as just another item on our to-do list. But prayer is not about efficiency; it's about intimacy. It requires slowing down, focusing our attention, and being fully present with God.

4. Helplessness is the Doorway to Powerful Prayer

Prayer is bringing your helplessness to Jesus.

Embracing our limitations. The gospel works when we realize we don't have it all together. Similarly, prayer works when we acknowledge our helplessness and our inability to do life on our own. It's in our weakness that God's power is made perfect.

Beyond self-reliance. Our culture prizes self-sufficiency, but prayer is an act of dependence. It's about admitting that we can't control everything and that we need God's help. This admission is not a sign of failure but a recognition of our true nature as creatures dependent on our Creator.

Grace through weakness. The very things we try to hide—our weariness, our distractedness, our messiness—are what draw us to God. He doesn't want us to clean up our act before we come to him; he wants us to come as we are, with all our imperfections.

5. Continuous Prayer Transforms Our Perspective

God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, ‘Abba! Father!’

Beyond scheduled times. Continuous prayer isn't about adding more items to our to-do list; it's about cultivating a constant awareness of God's presence in our lives. It's about turning our anxieties, frustrations, and even our mundane tasks into opportunities for connection with God.

The Spirit's work. The Holy Spirit is not just assisting us to pray; he is the one who is actually praying within us. He is the pray-er, putting the heart of Jesus in us, crying out "Abba, Father." This means that our prayers are not just our own; they are also the Spirit's.

Poverty of spirit. Continuous prayer isn't about self-discipline; it's about recognizing our poverty of spirit, our constant need for God's grace. It's about realizing that we can't even walk through a mall or our neighborhood without the help of the Spirit of Jesus.

6. Cynicism Hinders Prayer; Hope Fuels It

Cynicism is taught in our schools, embraced by our culture, and lifted up as ideal.

The spirit of our age. Cynicism, with its detached, critical stance, is a pervasive influence in our culture. It undermines our ability to trust, hope, and dream, making prayer feel pointless and ineffective. It is a master temptation of our age.

From optimism to cynicism. Cynicism often begins with a naive optimism that is shattered by the harsh realities of life. When our expectations are not met, we can easily fall into a cynical worldview that sees evil everywhere and doubts the goodness of God.

Cautious optimism. The antidote to cynicism is not naive optimism but a cautious optimism rooted in the gospel. This means being aware of the presence of evil in the world while maintaining a robust confidence in the goodness and power of our heavenly Father.

7. Asking Boldly Reflects God's Generous Heart

If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!

Childlike confidence. Jesus encourages us to ask boldly, with the same confidence and persistence that children have with their parents. This means believing that God wants to give us good gifts and that he is not limited by our doubts or fears.

Beyond trivial requests. While God cares about our mundane needs, he also wants us to ask for big things, things that seem impossible. He wants us to dream again, to believe that all things are possible with him.

The heart of the Father. Asking is not about manipulating God or getting him to do our will; it's about connecting with his generous heart. It's about recognizing that he is a loving Father who delights in giving good gifts to his children.

8. Unanswered Prayer is Part of God's Larger Story

Unanswered prayers create some of the tensions in the story God is weaving in our lives.

Beyond immediate answers. Unanswered prayers are not a sign of God's absence or indifference; they are often a part of his larger plan for our lives. They create tension, challenge our faith, and draw us deeper into his story.

The desert experience. Like the Israelites in the desert, we often find ourselves in situations where our prayers seem to go unanswered. These "desert experiences" can be painful and confusing, but they are also opportunities for spiritual growth and transformation.

Trusting the Storyteller. When our prayers go unanswered, we must trust that God is still at work, even when we can't see it. We must believe that he is weaving a story in our lives, a story that is far more complex and beautiful than we can imagine.

9. Lamenting Connects Us to God in Suffering

Prayer is an expression of who we are. . . . We are a living incompleteness.

Honest expression of pain. Laments are not a sign of weakness or a lack of faith; they are an honest expression of our pain, our grief, and our frustration. They are a way of bringing our broken hearts to God, just as they are.

Beyond passive grieving. Laments are not just about grieving what cannot be changed; they are also a call to action. They are a way of taking hold of God and demanding that he intervene in our lives and in the world.

A path to hope. By expressing our pain to God, we create space for him to work in our hearts. Laments are not the end of the story; they are a pathway to hope, a way of moving from despair to faith.

10. God's Presence is Revealed in the Details of Life

The real you has to meet the real God.

Beyond the spectacular. God's presence is not limited to grand, dramatic events; it is also revealed in the mundane details of our lives. It's in the quiet moments, the everyday encounters, and the seemingly insignificant events that we often find him.

Looking for Jesus. To see God's presence, we need to develop an eye for Jesus, to look for his character in the lives of others. This means focusing on the ways that he is transforming people, making them more like himself.

Authenticity over performance. The real you has to meet the real God. He is a person. The only way to come to God is by taking off any spiritual mask. The real you has to meet the real God.

11. Gospel Stories Shape Our Prayers and Lives

Behold, I make all things new.

Reenacting the gospel. The gospel is not just a story about Jesus' life, death, and resurrection; it's a story that we are invited to participate in. This means living out the gospel in our daily lives, allowing it to shape our prayers, our relationships, and our actions.

Suffering and redemption. Gospel stories always involve suffering, but they also always involve redemption. They remind us that even in the midst of our pain, God is at work, bringing about his purposes.

Hope for the future. The gospel is a story of hope, a promise that God will one day make all things new. This hope is not just for the future; it's also for the present. It gives us the courage to face our challenges, to love our enemies, and to live with joy, even in the midst of suffering.

Last updated: January 14, 2025