Blue Like Jazz

1. Jazz-like Spirituality: Embracing the Unresolved

Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself.

Finding beauty in the unresolved. Just as jazz music doesn't always resolve neatly, faith doesn't always provide easy answers. The author learns to appreciate jazz by watching someone else's passion for it, suggesting that sometimes understanding and appreciation come from witnessing others' love and devotion.

God doesn't always resolve. The author initially disliked God because of the lack of easy answers, but later realizes that faith, like jazz, can be appreciated even without complete resolution. This acceptance of ambiguity becomes a central theme in his spiritual journey.

Embracing the journey. The author's spiritual journey is marked by uncertainty and exploration, mirroring the improvisational nature of jazz. He learns to find beauty and meaning in the process, even when the destination remains unclear.

2. The Problem is Me: Recognizing Personal Flaws

I am the problem.

Internal vs. external blame. The author realizes that societal problems are not solely external issues but are rooted in individual flaws. This recognition marks a shift from blaming external factors to acknowledging personal responsibility.

Self-absorption as a core issue. The author identifies self-absorption as a fundamental human flaw that contributes to larger societal problems like racism and global poverty. This realization leads to a desire for personal change and a more selfless way of living.

Progressive embrace of fundamental ideas. Embracing the idea that the problem lies within oneself is seen as a progressive step. It's a move away from blaming external forces and towards personal accountability and transformation.

3. Beyond Magic: Discovering Authentic Faith

Perhaps, I thought, Christian spirituality really was the difference between illusion and magic.

Disillusionment with magical propositions. The author initially views religion as a magical solution to life's problems, similar to infomercial products promising instant results. However, he grows skeptical of this approach, recognizing the potential for illusion and trickery.

Story elements as a path to understanding. The author finds a deeper understanding of Christian spirituality through the elements of story: setting, conflict, climax, and resolution. These elements mirror the human experience and provide a framework for understanding faith.

The decision to follow Jesus. The author's understanding of following Jesus shifts from a forced obligation to a willing choice, similar to hostages choosing to follow their rescuer. This decision is based on trust and a belief in Jesus' ability to rescue him from brokenness.

4. Reed College Revelation: Finding God in Unexpected Places

I had more significant spiritual experiences at Reed College than I ever had at church.

Godless intellectualism. Reed College, known for its godless environment and intellectual rigor, becomes an unlikely setting for the author's spiritual growth. This highlights the idea that spiritual experiences can occur outside traditional religious contexts.

Challenged by non-believers. The author is challenged by Reed students who, despite their atheism, demonstrate a greater care for others than he does. This prompts him to re-evaluate his own faith and its practical application.

Revolutionary Christians. The author is inspired by the few Christians at Reed who embody true love, forgiveness, and acceptance, even in the face of hostility. Their example demonstrates a revolutionary approach to faith that is both intellectual and spiritual.

5. Faith Radar: Trusting Inner Guidance

I have a radar inside me that says to believe in Jesus.

Penguin analogy. The author uses the analogy of penguins navigating by an internal "radar" to explain his own inexplicable faith in Jesus. This suggests that faith can be a deeply ingrained, intuitive sense.

Laura's journey to faith. The story of Laura, an atheist who eventually embraces Christianity, illustrates the mysterious and personal nature of faith. Her journey highlights the idea that faith is not solely a rational decision but a transformative experience.

God's pursuit. The author believes that God actively pursues individuals, even those who resist Him. This pursuit is characterized by love, forgiveness, and a desire for relationship.

6. The Trap of Self-Discipline: Understanding Grace

Accepting God's kindness and free love is something the devil does not want us to do.

Fundamentalist phase. The author's attempt to achieve godliness through self-discipline and strict adherence to rules ultimately leads to failure and frustration. This highlights the limitations of relying solely on willpower.

The food stamp epiphany. An encounter with a woman using food stamps leads the author to realize his pride and difficulty in accepting God's grace. He recognizes that he wants to earn his own way rather than be seen as charity.

Accepting God's unconditional love. The author learns that true obedience and love for God stem from accepting His unconditional grace and love. This acceptance is seen as a key to spiritual growth and transformation.

7. The Power of Confession: Owning Our Brokenness

I am the problem.

Beyond defending Christianity. The author shifts from defending the term "Christianity" to focusing on sharing his personal experiences with Jesus. This approach emphasizes authenticity and vulnerability over rigid adherence to doctrine.

Confession booth experiment. The author and his friends build a confession booth at Reed College, but instead of accepting confessions, they apologize for the ways Christians have misrepresented Jesus. This act of humility and repentance resonates deeply with the community.

Making amends to the world. The author realizes the importance of making amends not only to God but also to the world. This involves acknowledging past wrongs, seeking forgiveness, and striving to live a more loving and compassionate life.

8. Community Over Isolation: The Necessity of Connection

I am learning to believe better things.

The dangers of isolation. The author's experience living alone highlights the negative effects of isolation on mental and spiritual health. He realizes the importance of human connection for maintaining a balanced perspective.

The lure of false gods. The author recognizes that his desire for false gods stems from boredom and a longing for something new. He realizes that true fulfillment comes from a genuine relationship with Jesus, not from fleeting trends or superficial beliefs.

The value of authentic Christianity. The author contrasts trendy spiritual practices with authentic Christian belief, emphasizing the importance of genuine faith and a commitment to living out one's beliefs. This involves embracing responsibility and sacrificing personal comfort for the sake of others.

9. Love as Action: Moving Beyond Empty Words

What I believe is what I do.

Beyond lip service. The author learns that true belief is not simply a matter of intellectual assent but is demonstrated through action. This involves living out one's faith in practical ways, such as serving the poor and advocating for justice.

The problem with empty passion. The author contrasts genuine passion for social causes with empty passion that serves only the ego. He emphasizes the importance of aligning passion with meaningful action that benefits others.

The power of simple thinking. The author is inspired by his friend Andrew, who embodies simple, direct action based on his understanding of Jesus' teachings. This involves feeding the homeless, protesting injustice, and living a life of sacrifice.

10. The Journey, Not the Destination: Finding God in the Process

I want to go on a trip with Him.

The importance of the journey. The author's desire to leave his familiar surroundings and embark on a spiritual journey highlights the importance of exploration and discovery in faith. This involves embracing uncertainty and trusting God to guide the way.

The Grand Canyon revelation. A moment of clarity at the bottom of the Grand Canyon leads the author to a deeper understanding of God's love and his own responsibility as a human being. This involves recognizing his brokenness and choosing to follow Jesus.

The beauty of a billion stars. The author finds comfort and awe in the vastness of the universe, recognizing God's presence and power. This experience reinforces the idea that faith is not about having all the answers but about trusting in a God who is greater than our understanding.

Last updated: March 11, 2025