Key Takeaways
1. Chasing Success Without Purpose is an Addiction.
Come to find out, achievement and success can’t sustain a life.
Achievement as a drug. Growing up feeling inadequate, Paula Faris found a temporary fix in accomplishment and achievement. This became her "drug of choice," providing a high that boosted self-worth but required ever-increasing doses to maintain, much like an addiction. This pursuit of success for validation led her from small markets to national television, constantly seeking the next rung on the ladder.
The insatiable need. The high of achievement wore off quickly, leaving her vulnerable to the fear of failure. To silence this self-doubt, she chased more success, doubling her efforts in studies, activities, and eventually, her career. This cycle meant she was always left wanting more, pushing harder, believing she was only as good as her next accomplishment, which ultimately proved unsustainable.
Work as a narcotic. Paula's drive for success led her to take on demanding roles at ABC News, including co-hosting World News Now, Good Morning America Weekend, and The View, often working seven days a week with little rest. This relentless pace, fueled by the need for external validation and a fear of not being "good enough," became her "narcotic of choice," distracting her from deeper issues and preventing her from slowing down.
2. Fear is the Primary Obstacle to Your Calling.
Fear is a liar, a dream-slayer.
Paralyzed by fear. From childhood, Paula was marked by fear, particularly the fear of failure. This fear dictated her decisions, causing her to quit activities where she might fail and avoid opportunities that felt too risky, like being on camera early in her career. This constant inner monologue of self-doubt reinforced negative narratives about her worthiness.
External circumstances fuel fear. While fear is internal, it is often stoked by external pressures and criticism. Paula faced this from a co-worker who told her women didn't belong in sports broadcasting unless they compromised their integrity, and later from tabloids and critics who questioned her performance on The View. These external challenges amplified her internal fears of not being good enough or not belonging.
Fear disrupts calling. Fear can prevent you from stepping into your vocational calling or cause you to pursue it for the wrong reasons (like seeking validation). It can make you run from opportunities, like Jonah fleeing God's command, or cause you to overwork to prove your worth, as Paula did. Overcoming fear requires cultivating a desire for purpose that is bigger than the fear itself, as exemplified by Dolly Parton's journey.
3. Your True Calling is Rooted in Faith, Not Just Your Job.
Our primary calling is not our vocation.
Calling vs. Career. Society and even some religious circles often conflate "calling" with "career" or "vocation" – what you do for a living. This narrow definition leads people to wrap their entire identity and purpose in their jobs, believing that climbing the corporate ladder or achieving professional success is their ultimate calling from God.
The true primary calling. The Christian faith defines the primary calling as singular and unchanging: to love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:30-31). This "faith calling" is about who you are called to be – a representative of God's love – not what job you hold.
Misplaced identity. When identity is rooted in vocation rather than faith calling, people become susceptible to anxiety, fear, and worry, much like Martha in the biblical story who was "worried and upset about many things" while Mary simply sat at Jesus' feet. This misplaced identity leads to prioritizing career advancement over relationships, well-being, and even one's connection with God.
4. Identify Your Vocational Calling Through Gifts, Curiosity, and Mentors.
Sometimes other people have the dream for you before you have it for yourself because you’ve allowed your fear to paralyze you.
A practical formula. David Shedd, a former international intelligence officer, offered a simple template for discerning vocational calling:
- Pay attention to your natural giftings (what you're good at).
- Explore your innate curiosities (what you're drawn to).
- Listen to the encouragement of trusted teachers, leaders, and mentors.
Early signs ignored. Paula's teachers and professors recognized her knack for storytelling, her innate curiosity, and encouraged her to pursue broadcast journalism. However, her fear of public failure prevented her from fully embracing this path initially, causing her to take unrelated jobs after college.
Others see the potential. Often, fear blinds us to our own potential. Mentors and friends can see the "dream" for us before we can see it ourselves. Figures like Mr. Barsuhn, Mr. K, Jan Jeffcoat, and Robin Roberts encouraged Paula to step into bigger opportunities and use her talents, helping her push past her self-imposed limitations and see her vocational path more clearly.
5. Step Out of Your Comfort Zone and Through Your Fear.
My desire was always greater than my fear.
Growth happens outside comfort. Pursuing your vocational calling often requires stepping out of familiar, comfortable situations into the unknown. This involves taking risks, facing potential criticism, and enduring discomfort. Paula's journey from a small market in Ohio to Dayton, Cincinnati, Chicago, and eventually New York City exemplifies this process of moving through increasing levels of challenge and visibility.
Sacrifice is required. Anything truly worth having, whether a fulfilling career or a strong marriage, requires sacrifice. This means making difficult choices, like leaving a comfortable job for a minimum-wage position to get a foot in the door, or enduring harassment and criticism without quitting. Paula's decision to move her family to New York for a demanding job, despite the personal costs, was a step outside her comfort zone driven by a desire for a bigger opportunity.
Desire must outweigh fear. As country music icon Dolly Parton shared, her success came because her "desire was always greater than her fear." This principle is crucial for navigating the challenges of stepping out. When the desire to fulfill your purpose or pursue a meaningful path is stronger than the fear of failure or discomfort, you gain the courage to push forward, just as Joseph persevered through slavery and imprisonment by focusing on serving God in his circumstances.
6. Adversity Can Be God's Wake-Up Call to Realign.
When we get out of whack, when our priorities go askew, God will intervene.
The Year of Hell. Despite achieving professional success, Paula's life was out of balance, with her identity overly tied to her work. God used a series of difficult events – a miscarriage, an apple hitting her head causing a concussion, a head-on car wreck the day she was cleared to return, and severe pneumonia – to get her attention. These back-to-back crises, which she calls her "Year of Hell," served as undeniable signs that she needed to slow down and re-evaluate her priorities.
Ignoring the signs. Initially, Paula tried to push through the adversity, using work as a coping mechanism to numb the pain and fear. She returned to work quickly after the miscarriage and concussion, convinced she could muscle through. However, the repeated setbacks demonstrated that her approach was unsustainable and that God was persistently trying to communicate a message: "Slow down. Find your purpose, Paula. Be still."
Adversity reveals purpose. Adversity can strip away distractions and force us to confront where our identity is truly rooted. Jay Williams's near-fatal motorcycle accident ended his NBA career but led him to a deeper understanding of his faith and a new purpose in sharing his story to help others. Like Saul's blinding on the road to Damascus, these crises can be God's dramatic interventions to redirect our vocational calling and align it with our faith calling.
7. Root Your Vocational Calling in Your Faith Calling (The Vine & Branches).
I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit.
The source of life. Jesus' analogy of the vine and the branches (John 15) illustrates that fruitfulness in life, including our vocational pursuits, comes from remaining connected to Him. Our faith calling – to love God and love people – is the "vine" that nourishes and directs our "branches" – our day-to-day activities and vocational callings.
Misalignment leads to anxiety. When vocational calling is not rooted in faith calling, identity becomes tied to performance and external validation. This leads to anxiety, burnout, and a sense of being an "impostor," as Paula experienced in New York. Like Martha, who was busy serving but missed being present with Jesus, focusing solely on "doing" without being rooted in "being" (loved by God) leads to being "worried and upset about many things."
Equipped by God. Understanding that God calls and equips us for an identity rooted in faith, not just a career, shifts the focus from our own strength and abilities to His provision. The disciples, despite their flaws and limitations, were equipped by Jesus to fulfill their vocational calling of spreading the Gospel because they were rooted in their faith calling to follow Him. This truth empowers us to push through fear and inadequacy, trusting that God will enable us to manifest His love through our work.
8. Your Vocational Path Can Change (Pruning) to Bear More Fruit.
He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, so that it will be even more fruitful.
Pruning for fruitfulness. Jesus' teaching on the vine also includes the concept of pruning. God may "prune" our vocational branches – changing our jobs, roles, or even industries – not just because we are unfruitful, but sometimes to make us more fruitful in expressing His love in different ways or to different people.
Vocational shifts are normal. A life rooted in faith calling allows for flexibility and openness to vocational changes. Paula's dad, rooted in his faith, chose to pass up career advancements to prioritize family time, demonstrating that fruitfulness isn't always about climbing higher. Her husband John transitioned from basketball coaching to commercial real estate, using his leadership gifts in a new field. Seth Haines moved from law to writing and editing, leveraging his skills to share a message of hope.
New seasons, new callings. Even in later life, vocational pruning can occur, opening doors to new ways of expressing faith calling. Paula's mom, after her husband's passing, considered pursuing acting and singing, demonstrating that age doesn't limit the possibility of a new vocational avenue for sharing God's love. These examples show that vocational calling is dynamic, changing throughout life while the core faith calling remains constant.
9. Living Your Calling Means Manifesting God's Love Through Your Work.
When I live, I try to manifest the glory of that purpose.
Work as a vehicle for love. Our vocational calling is meant to be a vehicle for expressing our faith calling – to love God and love people. It's not about making a name for ourselves or seeking personal glory, but about using our unique position and gifts to shine God's light in the world (Matthew 5:14-16).
Impact beyond the job. Jay Williams, after his accident, found a deeper purpose in using his story and platform to help others, manifesting God's glory through his new vocation in sports broadcasting and mentoring. Paula's moment of clarity at the Roy Moore rally, where she felt compelled to speak a word of love and truth to her gay colleague amidst hateful rhetoric, was a small but significant instance of using her presence in a vocational setting to express her faith calling.
Purpose-driven action. Manifesting God's purpose means being intentional about how we interact with colleagues, serve clients, lead teams, or perform any task within our vocation. It's about bringing compassion, integrity, and love into the workplace, allowing others to see God through our actions, regardless of the specific job title or industry.
10. Aligning Your Calling Requires Intentional Change.
If you’re moving too fast to slow down and root yourself in your faith calling, you’re moving too fast.
Recognizing the need for change. The "Year of Hell" forced Paula to confront the fact that her life was out of alignment. She was moving too fast, prioritizing work over her faith and family, and her identity was misplaced. Recognizing this imbalance is the crucial first step towards intentional change.
Slowing down to re-center. Making intentional changes often requires slowing down, being still, and listening for God's direction. Paula's decision to step back from The View and GMA Weekend was a necessary step to create space for re-evaluation and to explore new vocational avenues, like the faith podcast, that felt more aligned with her faith calling.
Incremental steps. The journey to aligning faith and vocational calling is often one of incremental change, not a single dramatic leap. It involves:
- Re-examining priorities.
- Making conscious choices about time and energy.
- Seeking opportunities that allow for the expression of faith calling.
- Trusting that God will equip you as you take steps in faith.
This process, though sometimes challenging, leads to a life rooted in purpose, where identity is found in who you are in God, not just what you do, allowing you to bear fruit and manifest His love in the world.
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Review Summary
Called Out receives mostly positive reviews for its honest exploration of finding one's true calling. Readers appreciate Faris's vulnerability in sharing her journey from overworked TV personality to podcaster pursuing her faith. Many found the book inspiring and relatable, praising its insights on balancing career and spirituality. Some criticize the heavy religious content, feeling it overshadowed Faris's personal story. Overall, reviewers recommend it for those seeking to align their work with their values and discover their purpose beyond professional success.
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