Convince Them in 90 Seconds or Less

1. Make a Powerful First Impression in 90 Seconds

First impressions set the tone for success more often than class, credentials, education, or what you paid for lunch.

The 90-second rule. In the first 90 seconds of any encounter, people make snap judgments that set the tone for the entire relationship. These judgments are based on nonverbal cues such as body language, tone of voice, and overall demeanor. To make a positive first impression:

• Make eye contact and smile genuinely
• Use open body language (uncrossed arms, facing the person)
• Match the other person's energy level and speaking pace
• Listen actively and show interest in what they're saying

The power of attitude. Your attitude is contagious and sets the tone for the interaction. Approach each encounter with a positive, enthusiastic mindset. This will naturally influence your body language and tone, making you more approachable and likable.

2. Neutralize the Fight-or-Flight Response

The cheapest, most effective way to connect with others is to look them in the eye.

Understanding instinctive reactions. In the first few seconds of an encounter, people unconsciously assess whether you're a threat or an ally. To neutralize the fight-or-flight response:

• Maintain open, non-threatening body language
• Use a warm, friendly tone of voice
• Smile and make eye contact to build trust
• Give the other person space; don't invade their personal bubble

Projecting positive energy. People are naturally drawn to those who appear healthy, vital, and confident. Project these qualities through your posture, facial expressions, and overall demeanor. This will help others feel at ease and more receptive to connecting with you.

3. Master the ABC: Attitude, Body Language, and Congruence

When people like you, they see the best in you. When they don't, they tend to see the worst.

Attitude is infectious. Your internal state influences your external behavior, which in turn affects how others perceive and respond to you. Cultivate a positive, enthusiastic attitude to create a favorable impression.

Body language speaks volumes. Nonverbal cues account for a significant portion of communication. Key aspects of positive body language include:

• Open posture (uncrossed arms and legs)
• Facing the person directly
• Maintaining appropriate eye contact
• Smiling genuinely
• Using expressive hand gestures

Congruence builds trust. Ensure your words, tone of voice, and body language are all conveying the same message. When these elements are in alignment, you appear more credible and trustworthy.

4. Speak the Language of the Brain

The brain can't process negative pictures, sounds, or feelings.

Positive language. The brain processes information in positive terms. Instead of saying "don't forget," say "remember." This applies to both your internal dialogue and your communication with others.

Sensory-rich language. The brain thinks in pictures, sounds, and feelings. Use descriptive, sensory-rich language to make your message more vivid and memorable:

• Visual: "Picture yourself succeeding..."
• Auditory: "Imagine hearing the applause..."
• Kinesthetic: "Feel the satisfaction of accomplishment..."

The power of "because." People are more likely to comply with requests when given a reason, even if it's not particularly compelling. Always provide a "because" when making requests or presenting ideas.

5. Connect with the Senses

If you can figure out what sense a person favors, you can speak in terms he or she will immediately connect with—and you'll both benefit.

Identify sensory preferences. People tend to favor one of three main sensory modes:

• Visual: Uses phrases like "I see what you mean"
• Auditory: Says things like "That sounds good to me"
• Kinesthetic: Often uses phrases like "I feel that..."

Match their mode. Once you've identified a person's preferred sensory mode, adjust your language to match:

• For visual people: Use visual aids and descriptive language
• For auditory people: Focus on tone of voice and use sound-related metaphors
• For kinesthetic people: Use touch-based language and emphasize feelings

Create multi-sensory experiences. When possible, engage multiple senses to make your message more impactful and memorable.

6. Feed the Personality

There are four processes that constitute the core business model: dreaming, analyzing, persuading, and controlling.

Understand personality types. In business, there are four main personality types:

1. Dreamers: Visionaries who generate ideas
2. Analyzers: Detail-oriented problem solvers
3. Persuaders: Outgoing communicators
4. Controllers: Results-driven leaders

Adapt your approach. Tailor your communication style to match the personality type you're dealing with:

• Dreamers: Give them space to brainstorm and respect their creativity
• Analyzers: Provide detailed information and logical arguments
• Persuaders: Be enthusiastic and focus on the big picture
• Controllers: Be direct, offer options, and emphasize results

Leverage complementary strengths. Recognize that each personality type has unique strengths and weaknesses. Encourage collaboration between different types to create a well-rounded team.

7. Know Your Business and Find Your Style

Wear great clothes—more people will listen to you.

Develop your personal brand. Your appearance and style communicate a lot about you. Craft a personal image that balances authority and approachability:

• Dress slightly better than the occasion requires
• Choose clothes that make you feel confident and comfortable
• Pay attention to grooming and personal hygiene

Understand your business. Clearly articulate what you do and why it matters. Develop a concise "elevator pitch" or "ten-second commercial" that highlights:

1. What you do
2. Who you do it for
3. How it makes their lives better

Find your unique selling proposition. Identify what sets you apart from others in your field and emphasize these qualities in your personal branding and communication.

8. Open Lines of Communication

You know how most exporters are always looking to find new markets?

Master the art of greeting. Use the OESS approach:

• Open: Adopt an open posture and attitude
• Eye contact: Make and maintain appropriate eye contact
• Smile: Offer a genuine smile
• Speak: Use a warm, friendly tone

Break the ice. Use open-ended questions and show genuine interest to start conversations:

• "What brings you to this event?"
• "What do you think about [current topic]?"
• "How did you get started in your field?"

Find common ground. Look for shared interests or experiences to build rapport quickly. Use phrases like "Me too!" or "What a coincidence" to highlight connections.

9. Get People Talking

Questions are the spark plugs of conversation.

Ask open-ended questions. Use questions that start with who, what, where, when, why, or how to encourage detailed responses and keep the conversation flowing.

Practice active listening. Show that you're engaged in the conversation by:

• Maintaining eye contact
• Nodding and using verbal affirmations (e.g., "I see," "Mm-hmm")
• Asking follow-up questions based on what they've said

Use the "pub approach." Frame your questions or statements in a way that invites agreement:

• "You know how [common situation]?"
• "Well, I [your solution/approach]..."
• "So they can [benefit/outcome]..."

10. Find the Right Approach

Linking states makes us feel as if we're all cut from the same cloth, part of the same group.

Link emotional states. Guide people through a series of emotional states to reach your desired outcome. For example, to generate enthusiasm:

1. Start with curiosity
2. Move to openness
3. Build to excitement

Tailor your approach. Consider the context and your audience when choosing how to deliver your message:

• Formal vs. informal settings
• One-on-one vs. group interactions
• Professional vs. social situations

Use storytelling. Craft compelling narratives to illustrate your points and make your message more memorable. Structure your stories with:

1. A clear setup (characters, setting, problem)
2. Attempts to solve the problem
3. A resolution and lesson learned

11. Secrets of Great Communicators

Capture your attention and you can capture your interest. Once you have their interest, you can fire up their imagination. And their heart will surely follow.

Hook, point, and sizzle. Structure your presentations like a shish kebab:

• Hook: Grab attention with a provocative statement or question
• Point: Clearly state your main message
• Steak: Provide supporting facts and data
• Sizzle: Add emotional appeal and memorable elements

Use analogies and metaphors. Make complex ideas more accessible by comparing them to familiar concepts. For example, "Our new software is like a GPS for your business finances."

Paint word pictures. Use vivid, sensory-rich language to create mental images that stick with your audience. This helps make your message more memorable and impactful.

Last updated: September 10, 2024