Escape

1. Escape from polygamy: A journey of survival and self-discovery

Escape. The moment had come. I had been watching and waiting for months. The time was right. I had to act fast and without fear. I could not afford to fail. Nine lives were at stake: those of my eight children and my own.

A life-changing decision. Carolyn Jessop's escape from the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (FLDS) was a pivotal moment in her life. After years of abuse, oppression, and fear, she made the courageous decision to flee with her eight children, including a disabled son.

The risks and challenges. Escaping the FLDS was not just about physical departure; it meant leaving behind everything familiar, facing potential retaliation, and navigating a world she had been taught to fear. Carolyn had to plan meticulously, considering:

• The safety of her children
• The timing of her escape
• The resources needed for survival outside the community
• The potential consequences if caught

A new beginning. Despite the enormous challenges, Carolyn's escape marked the beginning of a journey towards freedom, self-discovery, and healing for herself and her children.

2. The dark reality of life in a fundamentalist Mormon sect

I came from six generations of polygamists and was part of a sect known as the Fundamentalist Church of the Latter-Day Saints (FLDS). Ten thousand of us lived in a small community along the Utah-Arizona border.

A hidden world. The FLDS community, hidden from mainstream society, operated under strict religious doctrines that controlled every aspect of members' lives. This isolated existence was characterized by:

• Polygamous marriages
• Strict gender roles and oppression of women
• Limited access to education and outside information
• Absolute obedience to religious leaders

Manipulation and control. The FLDS leadership maintained power through:

• Religious indoctrination from birth
• Fear of divine punishment and eternal damnation
• Isolation from the outside world
• Economic control over members

Systemic abuse. Within this closed society, abuse was rampant and often sanctioned by religious leaders, including:

• Forced marriages, often of underage girls to much older men
• Physical and emotional abuse of women and children
• Denial of basic rights and freedoms

3. Childhood in the FLDS: Indoctrination and control from an early age

I was born into six generations of polygamy on my mother's side and started life in Hildale, Utah, in a fundamentalist Mormon community known as the FLDS, or the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

Early conditioning. From birth, children in the FLDS were subjected to intense indoctrination, shaping their worldview and ensuring loyalty to the sect. This process included:

• Constant reinforcement of FLDS beliefs and practices
• Limited exposure to outside influences
• Emphasis on obedience and submission to authority

Education as a tool of control. The FLDS tightly controlled education to maintain its grip on the younger generation:

• Public schools were eventually banned
• FLDS-run schools focused on religious instruction over academic subjects
• Higher education was discouraged or forbidden, especially for women

Preparation for polygamous life. Children, especially girls, were groomed from an early age for their future roles in polygamous families:

• Girls were taught to be submissive and obedient to their future husbands
• Boys were prepared to become patriarchs of large families
• Critical thinking and questioning of authority were strongly discouraged

4. Forced marriage and the struggle for autonomy within polygamy

At eighteen, I was coerced into an arranged marriage with Merril Jessop, a fifty-year-old man I barely knew. I became his fourth wife and had eight children in fifteen years.

Loss of freedom. Forced marriages were a cornerstone of FLDS control, particularly over women. These unions were characterized by:

• Huge age disparities between brides and grooms
• No choice or consent from the bride
• Immediate loss of personal autonomy for the woman

Power dynamics in polygamous families. Life as a plural wife was fraught with challenges:

• Competition for the husband's attention and resources
• Hierarchies among wives, often leading to abuse and manipulation
• Loss of individual identity and personal goals

Survival strategies. Women in these marriages developed various coping mechanisms:

• Forming alliances with other wives
• Finding small ways to assert independence
• Focusing on their children as a source of purpose and joy

5. Motherhood as both a blessing and a tool for oppression

I fell in love with him the moment I saw him. He was a beautiful baby and gave my life a purpose it had never had before. I mattered because Arthur mattered.

A source of joy and purpose. For many women in the FLDS, motherhood provided:

• A sense of personal fulfillment and love
• A way to gain status within the community
• A focus beyond the difficulties of polygamous life

Exploitation of maternal instincts. The FLDS leadership used motherhood as a means of control:

• Women were expected to have as many children as possible
• The threat of losing one's children was used to ensure compliance
• Children were seen as belonging to the community rather than to their mothers

The struggle to protect. Mothers in the FLDS faced constant challenges in safeguarding their children:

• Protecting them from abuse within the family and community
• Ensuring their health and well-being despite limited resources
• Balancing obedience to the sect with their children's best interests

6. The impact of Warren Jeffs' rise to power on FLDS community life

Warren's preaching touched every area of our lives. We were used to Uncle Rulon's admonitions. Children no longer got immunizations because he prohibited them.

Increasing extremism. Under Warren Jeffs' leadership, the FLDS became increasingly oppressive and isolated:

• Stricter rules governing every aspect of daily life
• Banning of television, internet, and most outside media
• Increased emphasis on absolute obedience to leadership

Education and health affected. Jeffs' policies had severe consequences:

• Closure of public schools and deterioration of education quality
• Restrictions on medical care, including vaccinations
• Emphasis on faith healing over modern medicine

Psychological impact. The intensification of control under Jeffs led to:

• Increased fear and paranoia within the community
• Greater difficulty in questioning or resisting authority
• Deeper isolation from the outside world

7. Fighting for survival: Navigating abuse, illness, and the quest for freedom

I knew I didn't want to condemn my daughters to polygamy. But if I didn't want them involved in polygamy, why was I staying?

Confronting reality. Carolyn's experiences with her son Harrison's illness and the ongoing abuse in her family forced her to confront the harsh realities of her situation:

• The inadequacy of FLDS healthcare beliefs
• The lack of support from her husband and community
• The potential consequences of staying for her children's futures

Internal struggle. Carolyn grappled with conflicting emotions and beliefs:

• The ingrained fear of leaving the only world she knew
• The desire to protect her children from abuse and oppression
• The gradual realization that her religious beliefs might be false

Building resilience. Through these challenges, Carolyn developed:

• Greater independence and problem-solving skills
• A stronger sense of her own worth and capabilities
• The courage to consider a life outside the FLDS

8. Breaking free: The courage to leave and start anew

I was finished with Merril and his stupid games of intimidation. I was finished with his family and its sick games. My life with Merril had ended.

The final decision. Carolyn's resolve to leave the FLDS was solidified by:

• Ongoing abuse and manipulation within her family
• The realization that she could no longer protect her children within the community
• Her growing disillusionment with FLDS beliefs and practices

Planning the escape. Leaving required careful preparation:

• Secretly saving money and resources
• Identifying a safe place to go outside the community
• Choosing the right moment to flee with all her children

Facing the unknown. Escaping meant confronting numerous challenges:

• Adjusting to life in mainstream society
• Protecting her children from potential FLDS attempts to reclaim them
• Rebuilding her life and identity outside the only world she had known

Carolyn's escape was not just a physical journey, but the beginning of a new life of freedom, self-discovery, and healing for herself and her children.

Last updated: January 22, 2025