Key Takeaways
1. Mothering is essential labor that shapes society and deserves recognition
Mothering is hard work. It's mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausting. For millions of Americans, the home is where the real work—the work that never changes, never stops, never goes away—gets done.
Undervalued yet crucial. Mothering and caregiving form the foundation of society, enabling all other forms of labor and productivity. This work, primarily performed by women, is often invisible and unpaid, despite its immense importance. The COVID-19 pandemic highlighted the essential nature of care work, as the absence of childcare and school closures disrupted entire economies.
Redefining work. Recognizing mothering as valuable labor requires a shift in how we define work and productivity. Instead of measuring value solely in economic terms, we must consider the long-term societal benefits of nurturing and raising children. This includes:
- Emotional development and well-being
- Cultural transmission and socialization
- Future workforce preparation
- Community building and social cohesion
2. Care work has been historically devalued and exploited, especially for women of color
We like to tell ourselves that American women are better off—"freer"—than other women around the world, in part because we can easily work outside the home. But we are not free or unburdened from other people.
Historical exploitation. Care work, including domestic labor and childcare, has long been undervalued and exploited, particularly for women of color. This stems from:
- Colonial legacies and racial hierarchies
- Capitalism's reliance on unpaid reproductive labor
- Gender-based discrimination in the workforce
Global care chains. The international transfer of care work has created a system where women from developing countries leave their families to care for others in wealthier nations. This perpetuates inequalities and creates new forms of exploitation.
- Filipina nurses and domestic workers in the US and globally
- Immigrant nannies and housekeepers
- Transnational families and long-distance parenting
To address these issues, we must:
- Recognize care work as skilled labor
- Provide fair wages and labor protections
- Implement policies that support caregivers, such as paid family leave
- Challenge societal norms that devalue care work
3. The body is central to mothering and caregiving, emphasizing physical connection
Having children has taught me that love is an action verb. And one that can only be performed with our hands and arms and brain and torsos, however imperfect or tired or ungovernable they are.
Embodied care. Mothering and caregiving are inherently physical experiences, involving constant touch, movement, and bodily awareness. This physical connection is crucial for:
- Bonding and attachment
- Child development and sensory exploration
- Emotional regulation and comfort
Erotic labor. Drawing on Audre Lorde's concept of the erotic, care work can be seen as a deeply sensual and fulfilling form of labor. It involves:
- Cultivating and nurturing life force
- Finding joy and satisfaction in physical acts of care
- Reconnecting with our bodies and instincts
By embracing the physicality of care work, we can:
- Challenge mind-body dualism
- Reclaim the value of embodied knowledge
- Foster deeper connections with those we care for
4. Movement and play are vital for children's development and self-expression
When you're home all day, toys and mess and clutter accumulate and must be dealt with. The dried fecal matter clinging to the toilet bowl, the slow drain of the bathroom sink, and the soap scum in the bathtub can be ignored only for so long before it starts to seem unhygienic and menacing.
Freedom through movement. Children naturally crave physical activity and play, which are essential for their development. Encouraging free movement and play helps children:
- Develop motor skills and body awareness
- Express emotions and creativity
- Learn about their environment and social interactions
Challenging norms. Our society often prioritizes structured activities and achievement over free play. To counteract this, we should:
- Provide ample time for unstructured play
- Embrace diverse forms of movement and physical expression
- Resist the urge to overschedule or restrict children's physical exploration
By fostering a positive relationship with movement and play, we can help children:
- Develop a lifelong love of physical activity
- Build confidence in their bodies and abilities
- Learn to listen to their bodies' needs and desires
5. Sexuality and pleasure are important aspects of human experience to discuss openly
There is no script, no formula, and no defining act. Just you, your partner, and all the things that make your bodies feel good. You can define sex however you want! And you can change that definition at any time!
Breaking taboos. Open discussions about sexuality and pleasure are crucial for healthy development and relationships. This includes:
- Comprehensive sex education that goes beyond biology
- Conversations about consent, desire, and pleasure
- Challenging harmful cultural norms and expectations
Inclusive understanding. Embracing a more inclusive view of sexuality and pleasure means:
- Recognizing diverse sexual orientations and gender identities
- Celebrating bodily autonomy and self-exploration
- Acknowledging that sexuality and pleasure evolve throughout life
By fostering open dialogue about sexuality and pleasure, we can:
- Promote healthier relationships and self-image
- Reduce shame and stigma around sex and bodies
- Empower individuals to make informed choices about their sexual health
6. Disability and aging should be viewed through a lens of accessibility and inclusion
Disability gathers a dimensional we like nothing else, because disability is no more and no less than human needfulness, both personal and political.
Reframing disability. Instead of viewing disability as a problem to be fixed, we should see it as a natural part of human diversity. This shift in perspective involves:
- Recognizing the creativity and resilience of disabled individuals
- Challenging ableist assumptions and structures
- Embracing interdependence as a universal human experience
Accessibility for all. Creating a more accessible world benefits everyone, not just those with disabilities. This includes:
- Universal design in architecture and urban planning
- Inclusive education and employment practices
- Flexible work arrangements and accommodations
By embracing disability justice and accessibility, we can:
- Foster a more inclusive and diverse society
- Prepare for our own aging and potential disabilities
- Challenge narrow definitions of productivity and worth
7. Connecting with nature fosters interdependence and a sense of belonging
Bioregionalism suggests a way of identifying with place, weaving oneself into a region through observation of and responsibility to the local ecosystem.
Rediscovering nature. Reconnecting with the natural world can help us:
- Develop a sense of place and belonging
- Understand our interdependence with other species
- Combat feelings of dissociation and alienation
Practical steps. To foster a deeper connection with nature, we can:
- Learn about local flora and fauna
- Participate in conservation efforts
- Incorporate nature into our daily lives through urban gardening or outdoor activities
By embracing our relationship with nature, we can:
- Develop a more sustainable and harmonious way of living
- Cultivate a sense of wonder and curiosity about the world
- Challenge human-centric views of the environment
8. Mothering can be a form of resistance and social change
Let's raise our children to know these things in their bones and cells, their meat and marrow, have it be part of them. For that understanding to be so strong that it cannot be undone by the colonial and capitalist systems that will insist their worth is how much they can produce, how thin their bodies are, how dedicated to work they are.
Radical potential. Mothering and caregiving can be powerful tools for social change by:
- Challenging oppressive systems and norms
- Nurturing future generations with alternative values
- Creating communities of care and mutual support
Everyday resistance. Small acts of mothering can have transformative effects:
- Teaching children about bodily autonomy and consent
- Celebrating diversity and challenging stereotypes
- Modeling interdependence and community care
By viewing mothering as a form of resistance, we can:
- Reclaim the political power of care work
- Imagine and create alternative social structures
- Foster resilience and hope in the face of systemic challenges
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Review Summary
Essential Labor receives mixed reviews, with praise for its personal storytelling and exploration of motherhood through a Filipino-American lens. Critics appreciate Garbes' writing style and cultural insights. However, some readers find the book lacks depth in its analysis and strays from its advertised focus on mothering as social change. The memoir aspects are generally well-received, but the broader cultural commentary is sometimes seen as disjointed or underdeveloped. Overall, it's viewed as a thought-provoking, if imperfect, examination of motherhood and care work.
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