Fifty Shades of Chicken

1. From Mundane to Mesmerized: The Allure of the Chef's Control

Instantly I feel hands on me, lifting me carefully from the tiles.

An unexpected fall. The narrative begins with a mundane chicken, shrink-wrapped and overlooked in a gourmet fridge, feeling inadequate next to a bodacious ham. A sudden fall from the shelf introduces her to the chef, a young, handsome man with mesmerizingly skilled hands and a meticulously organized kitchen filled with intimidating tools like knives and cleavers. His presence immediately sparks a strange clenching deep inside her cavity.

The chef's domain. The chef, referred to as "Blades," reveals his kitchen is his domain where he requires "complete control" and "exactitude" from his ingredients. He speaks of raising the mundane to the extraordinary through finesse, a concept foreign but captivating to the chicken. Despite his formal address ("Miss Hen") and shifting moods, his intense gaze and powerful hands leave her blushing and intrigued, sensing a potential beyond her shrink-wrapped existence.

A strange pull. Though initially feeling out of place and unsure if she fits his sophisticated world, the chicken is drawn to Blades's passion and control. His ability to make even prepping a radish seem significant, combined with the raw power emanating from him and his kitchen, creates an irresistible pull. She leaves the encounter back in the fridge, physically untouched but internally stirred, with a thrilling intuition that their paths are not yet done crossing.

2. Surrendering to the Culinary Journey: Becoming the Chef's Ingredient

“Chicken, will you please stop clucking? It’s very … distracting.”

A return to the kitchen. After a period of brooding and even a brief, disappointing encounter where the chef rejects her after cooking, the chicken finds herself back in Blades's hands. He takes her from the fridge, rinses her, and proposes they look at recipes together. Despite her subconscious squawking warnings, the touch of his hands and the flowing water ignite a delicious tension, making her feel precarious and on the verge of falling for him again.

An offer of control. Blades reveals his desire to cook her, "whole," and asks how she wants it – spices, method, recipe. The chicken, having never been seasoned or prepped, feels embarrassed and inadequate. Blades, initially exasperated by her inexperience, decides they will start with something simple, like "vanilla," despite it being outside his usual complex tastes. He declares that as his "Ingredient," she must submit entirely to his control, to be cooked any time, any way he wants.

Accepting the terms. Blades clarifies that being his "Ingredient" means he will cook her, and only her, for the foreseeable future, in return for her surrender to his "gastronomic virtuosity." He wants her "warm or cold, dressed or undressed, whole or in parts," and "highly spiced." Despite her initial hesitation, the chicken realizes this is exactly what she wants – to satisfy his chicken cravings. She agrees to his terms, including addressing him as "Chef," feeling soft, pliant, and prepared for anything he can dish out.

3. The Chef's Past and the Pursuit of Finesse

“Ah, that’s a long story. When I was still just a boy someone showed me what cooking could be."

A glimpse into the past. The chicken, struggling to understand Blades's complex, shifting moods and obsessive control, asks him why he is the way he is. He reveals that his intense "Foodie" nature stems from a tough introduction to food as a child, eating only TV dinners and ramen. An older woman, referred to as "She" or "Julia" (a clear parody of Julia Child), took him "under her wing" and introduced him to a sophisticated culinary "lifestyle," showing him that cooking was about turning raw ingredients into "transcendence."

The impact of "Mrs. Child". The chicken is devastated by the image of a young, inexperienced Blades being "warped" by this "culinary cougar." She blames "Mrs. Child" for his inability to simply make dinner like everyone else, for setting his standards impossibly high, and for his need for elaborate techniques and condiments. She feels inadequate in comparison to the gastronomy he was exposed to, wondering how she, a mundane fowl, can ever measure up to such a demanding palate.

Finesse and control. Blades emphasizes that his approach is "all about finesse," manipulating texture, layering flavors, and seeing ingredients as potential foams, fricassees, or gelées. He explains that cooking parts separately allows for better doneness and deeper flavor penetration, a concept that initially shocks the chicken, who preferred being taken whole. Despite her frustration with his control and complexity, she recognizes that his hunger for her is real, a hunger born from his unique, perhaps "fucked up," culinary history.

4. Exploring the Body, Piece by Piece: The Art of Cooking Parts

“You’ve proven yourself both resilient and versatile. Which is why I think that each part of you can be cooked separately to get the doneness right, to make flavors penetrate deeper."

A new approach. Blades explains that while roasting the chicken whole is satisfying, cooking individual parts allows for greater control over doneness and flavor penetration. He sees the chicken's resilience and versatility as reasons to explore her body limb by limb, enhancing flavors and manipulating textures in ways not possible with a whole bird. This shift from taking her whole to flavoring her piece by piece is initially unsettling, but aligns with his philosophy of culinary virtuosity.

Variety of techniques. This new phase involves a range of preparations for different parts:

• Breasts are flattened and sautéed with garlic and olives.
• Wings are coated in sticky honey and jalapeño or bound with bacon.
• Thighs are marinated in soy/sake for skewers or roasted with sweet-and-sour onions.
• Tenders are pounded and coated in crispy mixtures.
• Even the liver is whipped into a frenzy for crostini.

Embracing the parts. The chicken grapples with this new level of deconstruction, feeling vulnerable but also intrigued by the intense, focused attention each part receives. She experiences a variety of sensations, from the pain of being flattened or pounded to the pleasure of being coated in sticky glazes or fried hard. Despite her initial resistance and preference for being whole, she begins to appreciate the unique experiences each part can offer, pushing her own boundaries of culinary sensation.

5. Navigating Jealousy and Finding Self-Worth in the Fridge

“Beware, Miss Hen, of jealousy,” he intones. “It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on.”

Past ingredients. The chicken discovers Blades has had fifteen previous "Ingredients" before her. This revelation sparks jealousy and insecurity, making her question what she has that they didn't and why he needs her if he's had so many "pliable" others. She confronts him, feeling a pang of inadequacy and fearing she is just another experiment in his culinary journey.

Unsuitability and compromise. Blades dismisses the past ingredients as "unsuitable," explaining that he needs an ingredient that forces him to compromise and work harder. He praises the chicken's intelligence, savor, succulence, resilience, and versatility, stating she has changed his entire approach to building dishes. He sees her as exquisitely beautiful and necessary for his growth as a cook, reassuring her of her unique value to him.

Fridge dynamics. The chicken's interactions with other ingredients, particularly the enormous ham and the aloof radish, highlight her journey and insecurities. The ham, wise and supportive despite her own entanglement with Blades's brother, offers advice and comfort, seeing the chicken's deep feelings for Blades. The wilty radish, a symbol of a past, perhaps regretted, experiment, serves as a stark reminder of the chef's history and the chicken's fear of being just another discarded ingredient.

6. Pushing Limits: Embracing Advanced Techniques and the Toy Drawer

“It’s time I show you the toy drawer.”

Beyond the basics. As their culinary relationship deepens, Blades introduces "advanced techniques" requiring "special equipment." He reveals a deep drawer filled with tools like mallets, shears, rubber bands, twine, a baster with a needle, and a shocking black prong on an iron bowl – his "toy drawer." These implements signal a new level of intensity and control in his preparations, pushing the boundaries of the chicken's experiences.

Exploring new sensations. The advanced techniques involve manipulating the chicken's form and position in extreme ways:

• Trussing becomes tighter, digging into the flesh just right.
• Spatchcocking involves forcefully cutting out the backbone and flattening the bird.
• Vertical roasting uses the black prong to hold her rigidly upright, intensifying sensations.
• Spreading her legs wide on a hot skillet creates an indecently splayed, yet exquisitely juicy, finish.

Fear and exhilaration. The chicken is initially apprehensive about these techniques, finding them unnatural and potentially painful. However, her desire for Blades and her commitment to being his "Specialty" lead her to embrace the challenge. She discovers unexpected pleasure and intense sensations, realizing that these extreme methods can lead to unparalleled doneness, crispiness, and juiciness, culminating in moments of "poultry nirvana."

7. External Threats and the Fight for Culinary Identity

“That perverted prep-cook hasn’t outfoxed me,” he grumbles to himself.

The editor's intrusion. The arrival of Wiley, the editor from Swann Publishing, introduces an external threat to Blades and the chicken's world. Wiley is portrayed as creepy and overly interested in the chicken, wanting photos for the cookbook. Blades is protective, setting "hard limits" on how much flesh the chicken exposes on camera, leading to a humorous scene where he covers her completely with pie crust to prevent Wiley from "shooting the bird."

Blackmail and betrayal. Wiley's true intentions are revealed in a disturbing monologue overheard by the chicken while she's marinating. He plans to steal Blades's recipes, scale them up for fast food ("Tray of sticky fingers, bucket o’ dripping thighs"), and use compromising photos of the chicken as blackmail. He sees the chicken as his "ticket to Fat City," driven by a history of being underestimated and a desire for revenge against Blades.

Protecting their creation. Blades discovers Wiley's plot when the chicken sees herself in a fast-food ad on Google. Enraged, he quickly takes action, contacting the publisher to have Wiley fired and the photos removed, revealing he had secretly copyrighted everything. This external conflict solidifies Blades's commitment to the chicken and their shared culinary creation, highlighting the value and uniqueness of what they have built together against the backdrop of commercial exploitation.

8. Finding Fulfillment: From Ingredient to Specialty

“I want you to be more than my Ingredient. I want you to be the center of everything I do from now on. I crave you, Miss Hen.”

A turning point. After the drama with Wiley and the cookbook deal, the relationship between Blades and the chicken reaches a new level of depth and commitment. The chicken confronts Blades about his reliance on "Mrs. Child" and her recipes, suggesting he can make his own decisions. Blades surprisingly agrees, acknowledging the chicken is right and that he no longer needs the past influence.

Declaration of craving. Blades makes a heartfelt declaration, calling the chicken the "most beautiful, toothsome, versatile, and cookable food" he's ever created with. He states she has never failed him and he can't imagine a meal without her. He expresses a deep craving, wanting her every day and wanting her to be the "center of everything" he does from now on.

Becoming the Specialty. Blades asks the pivotal question: "Chicken, will you be my Specialty?" This elevates her status from a mere "Ingredient" to the singular focus of his culinary passion. The cookbook, initially conceived as covering various dishes, will now be solely about her – "our baby." This moment signifies a mutual acceptance and commitment, where the chicken feels she truly belongs to his appetite and answers his cravings, finding her "happy ending" in becoming his dedicated culinary muse.

9. The Happy Ending: Simple Beauty and Mutual Appreciation

“Chicken, will you be my Specialty?”

A shift in focus. Despite the exploration of complex techniques and flavors, the culmination of the chicken's journey with Blades leads to a surprising appreciation for simple beauty. After the intensity of advanced preparations and external threats, the chef prepares a meal that is not overly spiced or manipulated, but focuses on the inherent deliciousness of the chicken herself, enhanced by citrus and herbs.

Hearts and flowers. The final scene depicts a beautifully set table with china, silver, candlelight, and flowers – the "hearts and flowers" the chicken once longed for. Blades presents her on a china platter, perfectly roasted with crispy skin and juicy insides, a testament to his mastery and her inherent quality. This simple, elegant presentation contrasts with the elaborate techniques explored earlier, suggesting that true culinary fulfillment can be found in appreciating the ingredient itself.

Mutual appreciation. Blades's declaration of craving and his proposal for her to be his "Specialty" solidify their unique bond. The chicken, having navigated his control, her own insecurities, and external threats, finds peace and satisfaction in belonging to his appetite. The cookbook, "Our Little Booklet," symbolizes their shared creation and future together. The journey, filled with intense culinary experiences, ultimately leads to a place of mutual appreciation, where the chicken's simple beauty is celebrated as the center of the chef's world.

Last updated: July 13, 2025