Key Takeaways
1. Overcoming childhood trauma and poverty through acting
"I was being hunted. By the time I got home, I was a snot-dripping, crying mess . . . every day."
Childhood adversity: Viola Davis grew up in extreme poverty in Central Falls, Rhode Island. She faced daily racial bullying, hunger, and lived in rat-infested apartments with no heat or running water. Her father was an alcoholic who physically abused her mother.
Escape through acting: At age 14, Davis discovered acting through an Upward Bound program. It became her lifeline and a way to channel her pain into creativity. She threw herself into theater, using it as a means to express herself and escape her difficult circumstances.
Key challenges:
- Racial bullying and discrimination
- Extreme poverty and hunger
- Domestic violence at home
- Bed-wetting until age 14
2. The power of education and mentorship in shaping one's future
"Ron gave me two huge gifts that changed my life. The first happened during our first day in acting class."
Transformative education: Despite her circumstances, Davis excelled academically. She attended Rhode Island College on a full scholarship and later earned a spot at the prestigious Juilliard School.
Mentors and supporters: Throughout her journey, Davis encountered key mentors who believed in her potential. Ron Stetson, her acting coach in Upward Bound, was particularly influential in boosting her confidence and nurturing her talent.
Influential mentors:
- Ron Stetson (Upward Bound acting coach)
- Lloyd Richards (theater director)
- Meryl Streep (co-star in "Doubt")
3. Navigating racism and colorism in Hollywood
"I was dark-skinned, not a size two, not considered 'beautiful.' After all the trials and tribulations I'd experienced at Juilliard for these reasons, I felt like it behooved me to get an agent who did 'see' me."
Industry challenges: As a dark-skinned Black woman, Davis faced significant obstacles in Hollywood. She was often typecast in roles of drug addicts or "best friends to white women."
Breaking barriers: Despite these challenges, Davis persevered, honing her craft and seeking out roles that allowed her to showcase her talent. Her breakthrough came with her Oscar-nominated performance in "Doubt" (2008).
Typecasting issues:
- Limited to roles of drug addicts or sidekicks
- Passed over for romantic lead roles
- Struggled to find agents who understood her potential
4. Finding love and building a supportive partnership
"Julius is and was a protector and an awesome life partner. He is motivated by his love for me and his fierce protectiveness of our life."
Meeting Julius: Davis met her husband, Julius Tennon, on the set of "City of Angels." Their relationship provided her with the stability and support she had long craved.
Building a life together: The couple married in 2003 and adopted their daughter, Genesis, in 2011. Julius became a crucial support system for Davis, both personally and professionally.
Key aspects of their relationship:
- Mutual respect and understanding
- Shared commitment to family
- Support for each other's careers
5. Confronting family addiction and generational trauma
"Africa exorcised those demons."
Family struggles: Davis's family battled with addiction and poverty for generations. Her sister Danielle struggled with drug addiction, and Davis often found herself trying to support her family financially and emotionally.
Breaking the cycle: Through therapy and self-reflection, Davis worked to understand and heal from her family's trauma. A transformative trip to Africa helped her reconnect with her roots and find a sense of peace.
Steps toward healing:
- Engaging in therapy
- Setting boundaries with family
- Exploring her cultural heritage
6. Achieving success in theater and transitioning to film
"Broadway is everything; it lives up to every bit of that dream."
Theater success: Davis built a successful career in theater, earning Tony nominations and a win for her performances in August Wilson plays.
Film breakthrough: Her transition to film was gradual, with small roles leading to her breakout performance in "Doubt." This opened doors to more significant film and television opportunities.
Key career milestones:
- Tony Award for "King Hedley II" (2001)
- Oscar nomination for "Doubt" (2008)
- Emmy Award for "How to Get Away with Murder" (2015)
7. Balancing career ambitions with personal fulfillment
"I wanted my life to be about something more than work."
Career vs. personal life: As Davis's career took off, she realized the importance of finding balance and fulfillment outside of work.
Adopting Genesis: The decision to adopt her daughter, Genesis, was a pivotal moment in prioritizing personal happiness alongside career success.
Steps toward balance:
- Adopting a child
- Focusing on marriage and family
- Engaging in philanthropy and activism
8. The importance of self-discovery and embracing one's identity
"Can you hug her? Can you let her hug YOU? Can you let her be excited about the fifty-three-year-old she is going to become?"
Journey of self-acceptance: Throughout her life, Davis struggled with self-esteem and identity issues stemming from childhood trauma and societal prejudices.
Embracing authenticity: Through therapy, introspection, and life experiences, Davis learned to embrace her true self, including her dark skin, natural hair, and unique voice as an actress.
Key realizations:
- Importance of self-love and acceptance
- Value of authenticity in art and life
- Power of representation in media
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FAQ
What's Finding Me about?
- Personal Journey: Finding Me is a memoir by Viola Davis that details her life from a difficult childhood in Rhode Island to becoming a celebrated actress. It focuses on her struggles with poverty, trauma, and identity.
- Family Dynamics: The book explores her complex family relationships, particularly with her parents, who faced poverty and domestic violence. These experiences significantly influenced her understanding of love and self-worth.
- Artistic Growth: Davis shares her journey in the performing arts, highlighting how acting became a means of escape and self-discovery. The memoir underscores the transformative power of storytelling and the arts in her life.
Why should I read Finding Me?
- Inspiring Story: Viola Davis's journey from poverty to stardom is both inspiring and relatable, showcasing her determination to overcome adversity.
- Authentic Voice: Davis writes with raw honesty, sharing her vulnerabilities and triumphs. Her authentic voice resonates with anyone who has faced challenges in their own life.
- Cultural Insight: The memoir provides insight into the experiences of Black women in America, particularly in the entertainment industry, shedding light on issues of race, identity, and representation.
What are the key takeaways of Finding Me?
- Embrace Your Journey: Davis emphasizes the importance of embracing one’s unique journey, including the struggles and triumphs.
- Power of Vulnerability: The memoir highlights how vulnerability can lead to healing and connection, empowering both the individual and others.
- Importance of Family: Family dynamics play a crucial role in Davis's life, underscoring the significance of support systems and the bond with her sisters.
What are the best quotes from Finding Me and what do they mean?
- Existential Quest: “You must know why you are alive, or else everything is nonsense.” This quote reflects Davis's search for purpose and understanding of her identity.
- Childhood Bullying: “I’m the little girl who would run after school every day in third grade because these boys hated me because I was… not pretty.” It highlights the struggle for acceptance and the journey toward self-love.
- Hero’s Journey: “The journey of a hero… is a revolutionary transformation of self.” This encapsulates Davis's narrative, illustrating personal growth through overcoming obstacles.
How does Viola Davis describe her childhood in Finding Me?
- Challenging Environment: Davis describes her childhood as filled with trauma, poverty, and domestic violence, painting a vivid picture of her family's struggles.
- Resilience and Survival: Despite hardships, Davis showcases her resilience and coping mechanisms, often turning to imagination and the arts as an escape.
- Family Dynamics: The memoir highlights complex relationships within her family, particularly with her mother and sisters, emphasizing their importance in her journey.
What role does acting play in Viola Davis's life?
- Escape from Reality: Acting serves as a refuge for Davis, allowing her to explore different identities and emotions.
- Self-Discovery: Through acting, Davis discovers her voice and learns to embrace her true self, using the craft as a transformative experience.
- Empowerment: Davis views acting as a powerful tool for empowerment, believing in storytelling's ability to inspire change and foster understanding.
How does Finding Me address issues of race and identity?
- Candid Exploration: Davis discusses her experiences as a Black woman in America, particularly in the entertainment industry, addressing challenges in predominantly white spaces.
- Cultural Heritage: The memoir emphasizes cultural identity and systemic racism's impact, reflecting on how her upbringing shaped her understanding of race and self-worth.
- Representation: Davis advocates for greater representation of Black voices in media and the arts, highlighting the need for authentic storytelling.
What challenges did Viola Davis face in her career?
- Overcoming Stereotypes: Davis discusses the struggle to break free from stereotypes associated with Black actresses, emphasizing the importance of being seen as multifaceted.
- Navigating the Industry: The memoir reveals difficulties in finding roles that resonate with her identity and experiences, sharing frustrations with limited opportunities.
- Personal Sacrifices: Davis reflects on sacrifices made in pursuit of her career, including the toll on her personal life, emphasizing the need for balance and self-care.
How does Viola Davis's relationship with her family evolve throughout Finding Me?
- Support System: Davis highlights the crucial role her sisters played, providing support and encouragement, becoming a source of strength.
- Healing and Forgiveness: The memoir explores themes of healing and forgiveness within her family dynamics, reflecting on complexities with her parents.
- Legacy of Love: Ultimately, Davis emphasizes love and connection within her family, acknowledging shared experiences that shaped her.
What does Viola Davis hope readers take away from Finding Me?
- Empowerment through Storytelling: Davis hopes to inspire readers to embrace their stories and find strength in their experiences.
- Self-Acceptance: The memoir encourages readers to accept themselves fully, including their flaws and vulnerabilities, emphasizing self-love.
- Resilience in Adversity: Davis wants readers to recognize their resilience, instilling hope and determination in those facing challenges.
What role did Juilliard play in Viola Davis's life, according to Finding Me?
- Intense Training: Juilliard provided rigorous training, challenging Davis as an actress and pushing her to explore her craft.
- Identity Struggles: Davis faced identity struggles, feeling pressure to conform to standards that didn't reflect her true self.
- Artistic Growth: Despite challenges, Juilliard was instrumental in her artistic growth, helping her discover her voice and embrace her Blackness.
How does Finding Me explore the concept of trauma?
- Childhood Trauma: Davis candidly shares her experiences of trauma, including poverty and abuse, reflecting on their impact on her identity.
- Healing Journey: The memoir details her journey toward healing and self-acceptance, emphasizing confronting trauma as a catalyst for growth.
- Impact on Art: Davis discusses how trauma informs her work as an actress, believing embracing her past allows for authentic portrayals.
Review Summary
Finding Me is a powerful memoir by Viola Davis that received overwhelmingly positive reviews. Readers praised Davis's raw honesty in sharing her journey from poverty and trauma to becoming an award-winning actress. Many found her story inspiring, noting her resilience, determination, and talent. The audiobook narrated by Davis herself was highly recommended. Reviewers appreciated her candid discussions of racism, colorism, and the challenges of the entertainment industry. Some found the book emotionally moving and felt a deep connection to Davis's experiences.
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