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Finding Me

Finding Me

by Viola Davis 2022 304 pages
4.55
100k+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Overcoming childhood trauma and poverty through acting

"I was being hunted. By the time I got home, I was a snot-dripping, crying mess . . . every day."

Childhood adversity: Viola Davis grew up in extreme poverty in Central Falls, Rhode Island. She faced daily racial bullying, hunger, and lived in rat-infested apartments with no heat or running water. Her father was an alcoholic who physically abused her mother.

Escape through acting: At age 14, Davis discovered acting through an Upward Bound program. It became her lifeline and a way to channel her pain into creativity. She threw herself into theater, using it as a means to express herself and escape her difficult circumstances.

Key challenges:

  • Racial bullying and discrimination
  • Extreme poverty and hunger
  • Domestic violence at home
  • Bed-wetting until age 14

2. The power of education and mentorship in shaping one's future

"Ron gave me two huge gifts that changed my life. The first happened during our first day in acting class."

Transformative education: Despite her circumstances, Davis excelled academically. She attended Rhode Island College on a full scholarship and later earned a spot at the prestigious Juilliard School.

Mentors and supporters: Throughout her journey, Davis encountered key mentors who believed in her potential. Ron Stetson, her acting coach in Upward Bound, was particularly influential in boosting her confidence and nurturing her talent.

Influential mentors:

  • Ron Stetson (Upward Bound acting coach)
  • Lloyd Richards (theater director)
  • Meryl Streep (co-star in "Doubt")

3. Navigating racism and colorism in Hollywood

"I was dark-skinned, not a size two, not considered 'beautiful.' After all the trials and tribulations I'd experienced at Juilliard for these reasons, I felt like it behooved me to get an agent who did 'see' me."

Industry challenges: As a dark-skinned Black woman, Davis faced significant obstacles in Hollywood. She was often typecast in roles of drug addicts or "best friends to white women."

Breaking barriers: Despite these challenges, Davis persevered, honing her craft and seeking out roles that allowed her to showcase her talent. Her breakthrough came with her Oscar-nominated performance in "Doubt" (2008).

Typecasting issues:

  • Limited to roles of drug addicts or sidekicks
  • Passed over for romantic lead roles
  • Struggled to find agents who understood her potential

4. Finding love and building a supportive partnership

"Julius is and was a protector and an awesome life partner. He is motivated by his love for me and his fierce protectiveness of our life."

Meeting Julius: Davis met her husband, Julius Tennon, on the set of "City of Angels." Their relationship provided her with the stability and support she had long craved.

Building a life together: The couple married in 2003 and adopted their daughter, Genesis, in 2011. Julius became a crucial support system for Davis, both personally and professionally.

Key aspects of their relationship:

  • Mutual respect and understanding
  • Shared commitment to family
  • Support for each other's careers

5. Confronting family addiction and generational trauma

"Africa exorcised those demons."

Family struggles: Davis's family battled with addiction and poverty for generations. Her sister Danielle struggled with drug addiction, and Davis often found herself trying to support her family financially and emotionally.

Breaking the cycle: Through therapy and self-reflection, Davis worked to understand and heal from her family's trauma. A transformative trip to Africa helped her reconnect with her roots and find a sense of peace.

Steps toward healing:

  • Engaging in therapy
  • Setting boundaries with family
  • Exploring her cultural heritage

6. Achieving success in theater and transitioning to film

"Broadway is everything; it lives up to every bit of that dream."

Theater success: Davis built a successful career in theater, earning Tony nominations and a win for her performances in August Wilson plays.

Film breakthrough: Her transition to film was gradual, with small roles leading to her breakout performance in "Doubt." This opened doors to more significant film and television opportunities.

Key career milestones:

  • Tony Award for "King Hedley II" (2001)
  • Oscar nomination for "Doubt" (2008)
  • Emmy Award for "How to Get Away with Murder" (2015)

7. Balancing career ambitions with personal fulfillment

"I wanted my life to be about something more than work."

Career vs. personal life: As Davis's career took off, she realized the importance of finding balance and fulfillment outside of work.

Adopting Genesis: The decision to adopt her daughter, Genesis, was a pivotal moment in prioritizing personal happiness alongside career success.

Steps toward balance:

  • Adopting a child
  • Focusing on marriage and family
  • Engaging in philanthropy and activism

8. The importance of self-discovery and embracing one's identity

"Can you hug her? Can you let her hug YOU? Can you let her be excited about the fifty-three-year-old she is going to become?"

Journey of self-acceptance: Throughout her life, Davis struggled with self-esteem and identity issues stemming from childhood trauma and societal prejudices.

Embracing authenticity: Through therapy, introspection, and life experiences, Davis learned to embrace her true self, including her dark skin, natural hair, and unique voice as an actress.

Key realizations:

  • Importance of self-love and acceptance
  • Value of authenticity in art and life
  • Power of representation in media

Last updated:

Review Summary

4.55 out of 5
Average of 100k+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Finding Me is a powerful memoir by Viola Davis that received overwhelmingly positive reviews. Readers praised Davis's raw honesty in sharing her journey from poverty and trauma to becoming an award-winning actress. Many found her story inspiring, noting her resilience, determination, and talent. The audiobook narrated by Davis herself was highly recommended. Reviewers appreciated her candid discussions of racism, colorism, and the challenges of the entertainment industry. Some found the book emotionally moving and felt a deep connection to Davis's experiences.

Your rating:

About the Author

Viola Davis is an acclaimed American actress and producer known for her powerful performances on stage and screen. Born in South Carolina and raised in poverty in Rhode Island, Davis overcame a difficult childhood marked by racism and hardship. She discovered her passion for acting at a young age and pursued her dreams, graduating from Rhode Island College and the Juilliard School. Davis has achieved numerous accolades throughout her career, including an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar, and a Tony Award, making her one of the few performers to achieve EGOT status. She is recognized for her versatility and captivating portrayals in both dramatic and comedic roles across theater, film, and television.

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