Glow in the F*cking Dark

1. Embrace Your Inner Stardust: You Are Inherently Valuable

We are stars wrapped in skin. The light you are seeking has always been within.

You are made of stardust. This isn't just a poetic metaphor; it's a scientific fact. The elements that make up your body were forged in the hearts of stars billions of years ago. This cosmic heritage means you are intrinsically valuable and connected to the universe.

Your essential self is already whole. Society, trauma, and self-doubt may have obscured your inner light, but it's still there, waiting to be uncovered. Think of yourself as a lamp with a heavy blanket thrown over it. The light hasn't gone out; it's just been hidden.

Ways to reconnect with your essential self:

• Recall childhood memories of feeling free and joyful
• Identify activities that make you lose track of time
• Ask trusted friends to describe your best qualities
• Practice mindfulness to observe your thoughts without judgment

2. Heal Your Past to Reclaim Your Power

If it's hysterical, it's historical.

Trauma shapes our present reactions. Many of us carry emotional wounds from our past that unconsciously influence our behavior and relationships. Recognizing these patterns is the first step towards healing.

Healing is possible, but it takes work. The author describes her journey of re-parenting herself and learning to process difficult emotions. This involved therapy, journaling, and developing new coping mechanisms.

Key strategies for healing:

• Practice self-compassion
• Identify and challenge negative self-talk
• Seek professional help when needed
• Develop a consistent journaling practice
• Learn to sit with uncomfortable emotions rather than avoiding them

3. Cultivate Self-Compassion and Body Gratitude

At your core, you are totally pure and totally good.

Your body is a miracle. Instead of criticizing your physical appearance, focus on the incredible functions your body performs every day. From breathing to healing wounds, your body is constantly working to keep you alive and well.

Self-compassion is more powerful than self-criticism. Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a good friend. This doesn't mean ignoring areas for improvement, but approaching them with gentleness and understanding.

Practices for developing body gratitude:

• Write a thank-you note to a part of your body you've been critical of
• Focus on what your body can do, rather than how it looks
• Engage in physical activities that bring you joy, not punishment
• Speak to yourself as you would to a beloved child

4. Create Rituals for Personal Growth and Stability

How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.

Rituals provide structure and meaning. In a chaotic world, creating personal rituals can provide a sense of stability and purpose. These don't have to be elaborate; even small daily practices can have a profound impact.

Consistency is key. The author emphasizes the importance of showing up for yourself every day, even when you don't feel like it. Over time, these habits become second nature and shape your character.

Examples of beneficial rituals:

• Morning journaling
• Regular exercise or movement
• Meditation or mindfulness practice
• Reading or learning something new daily
• Evening gratitude reflection

5. Redefine Your Relationship with Money

I own my money, my money doesn't own me.

Financial literacy is crucial. Many of us have complicated relationships with money stemming from childhood experiences or societal pressures. Educating yourself about personal finance is a form of self-care.

Determine what "enough" means to you. Instead of chasing an ever-increasing amount of wealth, define what financial security looks like for you personally. This can help you make more intentional decisions about work and spending.

Steps to improve your relationship with money:

• Create a realistic budget
• Educate yourself about investing
• Define your personal financial goals
• Challenge societal messages about wealth and status
• Practice gratitude for what you already have

6. Establish Boundaries in Work and Relationships

Please stop calling your colleagues your family.

Your job is not your identity. While work can be fulfilling, it's important to maintain boundaries and not tie your self-worth to your professional achievements. Your colleagues are not your family, no matter how much a company tries to promote that idea.

Healthy relationships require clear boundaries. This applies to romantic partnerships, friendships, and family relationships. Learning to communicate your needs and limits is essential for maintaining fulfilling connections.

Tips for setting boundaries:

• Learn to say no without guilt
• Communicate your expectations clearly
• Respect others' boundaries as well
• Take time for self-care and solitude
• Regularly reassess and adjust your boundaries as needed

7. Pursue Authentic Desires and Make Decisions for Your Future Self

You can't get what you don't ask for.

Identify what you truly want. Many of us pursue goals based on societal expectations rather than our authentic desires. Take time to reflect on what brings you genuine joy and fulfillment.

Consider your future self. When making important decisions, think about how your choices will impact the person you want to become. The author uses the concept of "Future Me" as a guide for making difficult choices.

Strategies for aligning with your authentic desires:

• Journal about your ideal life without self-censorship
• Identify moments when you feel most alive and engaged
• Ask yourself "why" multiple times to uncover root desires
• Make decisions based on your values, not others' expectations
• Regularly check in with yourself to ensure you're on the right path

Last updated: November 9, 2024