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Good Enough Is the New Perfect

Good Enough Is the New Perfect

Finding Happiness and Success in Modern Motherhood
by Becky Beaupre Gillespie 2011 288 pages
3.39
100+ ratings
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9 minutes
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Key Takeaways

1. Redefine Success: Good Enough Is the New Perfect

"We wanted to be 'the best,' but we also wanted more than one thing."

Shift in perspective. The authors challenge the notion of "having it all" and propose a new paradigm where success is defined by personal satisfaction rather than external standards. This shift allows women to prioritize what truly matters to them, whether it's career advancement, family time, or personal pursuits.

Embracing imperfection. By accepting that perfection is unattainable, women can free themselves from the pressure to excel in every aspect of life. This mindset shift enables them to make choices that align with their values and goals, rather than societal expectations.

Key benefits of redefining success:

  • Reduced stress and anxiety
  • Increased satisfaction in multiple life areas
  • Greater flexibility in decision-making
  • Improved overall well-being

2. Break Free from Perfectionism to Find Balance

"Unrelenting perfectionism is a liability—and overcoming it is the key to leading a well-rounded and satisfying life."

Identifying perfectionist tendencies. The authors distinguish between two types of working mothers: "Never Enoughs" who constantly strive for perfection, and "Good Enoughs" who focus on being satisfied with their efforts. Recognizing these patterns is crucial for breaking free from the perfectionism trap.

Strategies for overcoming perfectionism. The book offers practical advice for shifting from a perfectionist mindset to a more balanced approach:

Steps to overcome perfectionism:

  • Set realistic expectations
  • Prioritize tasks based on importance
  • Learn to delegate effectively
  • Embrace mistakes as learning opportunities
  • Practice self-compassion

3. Create Your Own Definition of Work-Life Integration

"The most successful women made conscious sacrifices; they weren't trying to do everything because they firmly understood that they couldn't."

Personal priorities. The authors emphasize the importance of identifying individual values and goals when crafting a work-life integration strategy. This personalized approach allows women to make decisions that align with their unique circumstances and aspirations.

Flexibility in approach. Rather than adhering to a one-size-fits-all model, successful women adapt their work-life integration strategies as their needs and circumstances change. This flexibility enables them to navigate different life stages and career phases more effectively.

Key elements of successful work-life integration:

  • Clear understanding of personal values
  • Willingness to make trade-offs
  • Regular reassessment of priorities
  • Open communication with partners and employers
  • Embracing non-traditional career paths when necessary

4. Leverage Technology Wisely for Flexibility

"Technology is, at once, an irreplaceable asset—and an extra opportunity for our perfectionist selves to go overboard."

Double-edged sword. While technology enables greater flexibility in work arrangements, it can also blur the lines between work and personal life. The authors caution against the potential pitfalls of constant connectivity and offer strategies for maintaining boundaries.

Effective use of tech tools. The book provides guidance on how to harness technology to enhance productivity and flexibility without sacrificing personal time or well-being.

Tips for leveraging technology wisely:

  • Set clear boundaries for device usage
  • Use productivity apps to streamline tasks
  • Implement "tech-free" times for family or personal activities
  • Utilize remote work tools to create flexible schedules
  • Be mindful of the impact of social media on self-perception and time management

5. Navigate Career Transitions with Confidence

"Sometimes the biggest problem is lack of time. Solve, don't blame."

Embracing change. The authors emphasize that career transitions are often necessary and can lead to greater satisfaction. They encourage women to view these changes as opportunities for growth rather than setbacks.

Strategic planning. The book offers guidance on how to approach career transitions thoughtfully, considering both short-term needs and long-term goals.

Steps for successful career transitions:

  • Assess current skills and passions
  • Research new career options
  • Network strategically
  • Acquire new skills or education if necessary
  • Create a financial plan to support the transition
  • Be open to non-traditional career paths

6. Embrace the Evolution of Workplace Flexibility

"Flexibility is part of something much bigger—and it isn't just about moms."

Shifting workplace norms. The authors highlight the growing recognition of work-life balance as a universal need, not just a concern for mothers. This shift is leading to more inclusive flexibility policies in many workplaces.

Advocating for change. The book encourages women to be proactive in seeking and creating flexible work arrangements, providing strategies for negotiating with employers and building a case for workplace flexibility.

Benefits of workplace flexibility:

  • Increased productivity and job satisfaction
  • Improved employee retention
  • Better work-life balance for all employees
  • Enhanced company reputation and ability to attract top talent
  • Reduced stress and burnout

7. Cultivate a Supportive Network and Partnership

"We don't have the same equity and roles in our households."

Equal partnerships. The authors stress the importance of equitable division of household and child-rearing responsibilities between partners. This balance is crucial for enabling both partners to pursue their career and personal goals.

Building a support system. The book emphasizes the value of cultivating a network of friends, family, and professional contacts who can provide emotional support, practical assistance, and career opportunities.

Elements of a strong support system:

  • Supportive partner with shared household responsibilities
  • Network of other working parents for advice and empathy
  • Mentors and sponsors in the workplace
  • Reliable childcare arrangements
  • Professional networks for career development

8. Overcome Guilt and Reframe Expectations

"You are already enough."

Addressing maternal guilt. The authors acknowledge the pervasive nature of guilt among working mothers and offer strategies for reframing these feelings. They encourage women to focus on the quality of their interactions with children rather than quantity of time spent.

Challenging societal expectations. The book calls for a reevaluation of societal norms regarding motherhood and career success, urging women to define their own standards of "good enough" parenting and professional achievement.

Strategies for overcoming guilt:

  • Focus on the positive impact of working on children's development
  • Recognize the value of personal fulfillment in both work and motherhood
  • Challenge unrealistic societal expectations
  • Practice self-compassion and positive self-talk
  • Celebrate small victories in both personal and professional spheres

9. Adapt to Changing Family Dynamics Over Time

"Life stopped being about me a long time ago."

Evolving priorities. The authors highlight how family needs and personal goals shift as children grow and careers progress. They emphasize the importance of regularly reassessing and adjusting work-life integration strategies.

Flexibility in approach. The book encourages women to be open to changing their career paths or work arrangements as family circumstances evolve, providing examples of successful adaptations.

Key life stages that may require adaptation:

  • Infancy and early childhood
  • School-age children
  • Teenage years
  • Empty nest phase
  • Caring for aging parents

10. Learn from Setbacks and Build Resilience

"Sometimes our choices have risks and consequences, and then moving forward on that path to happiness."

Embracing failures. The authors emphasize that setbacks are an inevitable part of balancing career and family. They encourage women to view these challenges as opportunities for growth and learning.

Building resilience. The book offers strategies for developing mental toughness and adaptability in the face of adversity, both personal and professional.

Techniques for building resilience:

  • Practice mindfulness and stress-management techniques
  • Cultivate a growth mindset
  • Seek support from mentors and peers
  • Learn from past experiences and adjust strategies accordingly
  • Focus on long-term goals rather than short-term setbacks
  • Celebrate small victories and progress along the way

Last updated:

FAQ

What's Good Enough Is the New Perfect about?

  • Focus on Modern Motherhood: The book delves into the complexities of balancing career and family life in modern motherhood. It addresses the societal pressures women face to achieve perfection.
  • Two Perspectives: Mothers are categorized into "Good Enoughs" and "Never Enoughs," helping readers identify their own parenting and work styles.
  • Personal Stories and Research: It includes anecdotes and research to illustrate the evolving roles of women, aiming to empower mothers to define success on their own terms.

Why should I read Good Enough Is the New Perfect?

  • Relatable Experiences: Many mothers will see their own challenges reflected in the stories, providing comfort and validation.
  • Practical Advice: Offers actionable strategies for balancing work and family, promoting the idea that "good enough" is a fulfilling standard.
  • Empowerment Through Community: Encourages building support networks among mothers, inspiring readers to create or join communities for shared experiences.

What are the key takeaways of Good Enough Is the New Perfect?

  • Redefining Success: Encourages mothers to define success personally, rather than conforming to societal expectations, leading to greater satisfaction.
  • Embracing Imperfection: Accepting imperfection allows mothers to focus on being present with their children, fostering happier families.
  • Flexibility and Adaptability: Highlights the importance of being flexible in work and parenting to maintain balance and happiness.

What are the best quotes from Good Enough Is the New Perfect and what do they mean?

  • “Good enough is the new perfect.”: Encourages mothers to accept limitations and focus on what truly matters, rather than striving for perfection.
  • “You can have it all, but not all at once.”: Suggests that women can achieve their goals with patience and timing, prioritizing different life aspects at different times.
  • “Your kids are thriving. What are you worried about?”: Reminds mothers that children can flourish even when parents are not perfect, emphasizing self-compassion.

What is the New Perfect concept in Good Enough Is the New Perfect?

  • Acceptance of Imperfection: Encourages embracing imperfection and focusing on being present rather than idealized motherhood.
  • Personal Definitions of Success: Mothers are urged to define success personally, fostering fulfillment and happiness.
  • Community Support: Stresses the importance of supportive communities among mothers to alleviate isolation and guilt.

How do the authors differentiate between "Good Enoughs" and "Never Enoughs"?

  • Good Enoughs: Accept imperfection, prioritize well-being, and focus on essential family needs, allowing for flexibility.
  • Never Enoughs: Strive for perfection, often leading to stress and dissatisfaction, struggling with societal expectations.
  • Impact on Parenting: Highlights different approaches to parenting and work-life balance, helping mothers make conscious choices.

What strategies do the authors suggest for achieving work-life balance in Good Enough Is the New Perfect?

  • Set Realistic Expectations: Establish achievable goals for work and family to reduce feelings of inadequacy.
  • Prioritize Self-Care: Emphasizes the importance of self-care for mental health and well-being, enhancing caregiving abilities.
  • Seek Support: Building a supportive network can provide emotional and practical assistance, alleviating isolation.

How does Good Enough Is the New Perfect address the issue of guilt in motherhood?

  • Normalizing Guilt: Recognizes guilt as a common experience, encouraging mothers to see it as a natural part of parenting.
  • Reframing Perspectives: Suggests using guilt for growth and self-reflection, rather than succumbing to it.
  • Focusing on Children’s Well-Being: Emphasizes that children's happiness is the ultimate success measure, shifting focus from perfection to presence.

What role does technology play in the themes of Good Enough Is the New Perfect?

  • Double-Edged Sword: Technology offers flexibility but can increase stress by making mothers feel "always on."
  • Setting Boundaries: Importance of establishing boundaries around technology use to maintain a healthy work-life balance.
  • Enhancing Communication: Technology can build community among mothers, providing support and connection.

How can mothers redefine their own success according to Good Enough Is the New Perfect?

  • Self-Reflection: Encourages identifying personal values and priorities to shape definitions of success.
  • Embrace Individuality: Success should be defined on personal terms, fostering fulfillment and authenticity.
  • Celebrate Small Wins: Recognizing small achievements contributes to a broader sense of success in parenting and career.

What are the two perspectives on motherhood in Good Enough Is the New Perfect?

  • Good Enoughs: Accept imperfection, focus on essential family needs, and prioritize well-being.
  • Never Enoughs: Strive for perfection, often leading to stress and dissatisfaction, struggling with societal expectations.
  • Understanding Approaches: Helps mothers identify their parenting style and make conscious choices about priorities.

How does Good Enough Is the New Perfect empower mothers to define success on their own terms?

  • Personal Definitions: Encourages mothers to create personal definitions of success, rather than adhering to societal norms.
  • Focus on Fulfillment: Emphasizes fulfillment and happiness over perfection, leading to greater satisfaction.
  • Community and Support: Highlights the importance of community support in empowering mothers to redefine success.

Review Summary

3.39 out of 5
Average of 100+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Good Enough Is the New Perfect received mixed reviews. Many readers appreciated its insights on work-life balance for mothers, finding it relatable and encouraging. However, critics felt it focused too heavily on privileged, well-educated women with flexible careers. Some found the advice helpful for overcoming perfectionism, while others desired more practical tips. The book's emphasis on redefining success and accepting "good enough" resonated with many, but its limited scope left some readers feeling excluded or unsatisfied.

Your rating:

About the Author

Rebecca Gillespie is an author and journalist who specializes in work-life balance and modern motherhood issues. She co-wrote Good Enough Is the New Perfect with Hollee Schwartz Temple, drawing on their experiences as working mothers and interviews with numerous women. Gillespie's work focuses on helping women navigate the challenges of balancing career ambitions with family responsibilities. Her approach emphasizes finding personal definitions of success and letting go of unrealistic expectations. While some critics found her perspective limited to privileged demographics, many readers appreciated her efforts to address the pressures faced by contemporary mothers in professional settings.

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