HBR's 10 Must Reads on Managing Yourself (with bonus article "How Will You Measure Your Life?" by Clayton M. Christensen)

1. Emotional intelligence is crucial for effective leadership

Simply put, the research showed that "good guys"—that is, emotionally intelligent men and women—finish first.

Emotional intelligence (EI) is a game-changer. It encompasses self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. Leaders with high EI create environments where trust, healthy risk-taking, and learning flourish. They are better equipped to:

• Understand and manage their own emotions
• Recognize and influence the emotions of others
• Make sound decisions under pressure
• Build and maintain strong relationships

EI is not just a "soft" skill; it has tangible impacts on business outcomes. Research has consistently shown that leaders with high emotional intelligence outperform their peers in areas such as:

• Financial performance
• Employee engagement and retention
• Customer satisfaction
• Innovation and adaptability

2. A leader's mood is contagious and impacts organizational performance

The leader's mood and behaviors drive the moods and behaviors of everyone else.

Mood contagion is a powerful force. Neuroscience research has shown that humans are hardwired to pick up on and mirror the emotions of others, especially those in positions of authority. This phenomenon, known as "mood contagion," occurs through several mechanisms:

• Mirror neurons: Brain cells that fire both when we perform an action and when we observe someone else performing that action
• Limbic resonance: The ability of our limbic systems to synchronize with others around us
• Facial feedback: The tendency to adopt the facial expressions we see, which in turn influences our emotional state

In an organizational context, this means:

• A leader's positive mood can energize and motivate the entire team
• Negative emotions from the top can create a toxic work environment
• Emotional consistency is crucial for building trust and stability

3. Self-awareness is the foundation of emotional leadership

When the theory of emotional intelligence at work began to receive widespread attention, we frequently heard executives say—in the same breath, mind you—"That's incredible," and, "Well, I've known that all along."

Self-awareness is the cornerstone of EI. It involves understanding your own emotions, strengths, weaknesses, values, and impact on others. Developing self-awareness requires:

• Regular self-reflection
• Seeking honest feedback from others
• Paying attention to your physical and emotional responses in various situations

Benefits of increased self-awareness for leaders:

• Better decision-making
• Improved stress management
• Enhanced ability to regulate emotions
• Greater authenticity and credibility

Tools for developing self-awareness:

• 360-degree feedback assessments
• Personality inventories (e.g., Myers-Briggs, Big Five)
• Mindfulness practices
• Journaling

4. Empathy enables leaders to connect with and motivate others

High levels of emotional intelligence, our research showed, create climates in which information sharing, trust, healthy risk-taking, and learning flourish.

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It's a critical component of emotional intelligence that allows leaders to:

• Build strong relationships with team members
• Understand diverse perspectives
• Resolve conflicts effectively
• Inspire and motivate others

Developing empathy involves:

• Active listening: Giving full attention to others and seeking to understand their point of view
• Perspective-taking: Imagining yourself in someone else's situation
• Cultivating curiosity about others' experiences and emotions

Empathetic leadership practices:

• Regular one-on-one meetings with team members
• Creating psychological safety for open communication
• Recognizing and validating others' emotions
• Tailoring communication and management styles to individual needs

5. Effective leaders cultivate positive emotional climates

A cranky and ruthless boss creates a toxic organization filled with negative underachievers who ignore opportunities; an inspirational, inclusive leader spawns acolytes for whom any challenge is surmountable.

Positive emotions fuel performance. Leaders who create positive emotional climates in their organizations reap numerous benefits:

• Increased creativity and innovation
• Higher levels of engagement and commitment
• Improved problem-solving and decision-making
• Greater resilience in the face of challenges

Strategies for fostering a positive emotional climate:

• Recognize and celebrate achievements, both big and small
• Encourage open communication and idea-sharing
• Provide opportunities for growth and development
• Model optimism and solution-focused thinking

It's important to note that positivity doesn't mean ignoring problems or avoiding difficult conversations. Rather, it's about approaching challenges with a constructive mindset and focusing on possibilities rather than limitations.

6. Emotional intelligence can be developed through deliberate practice

Managing one's inner life is not easy, of course. For many of us, it's our most difficult challenge.

EI is not fixed; it can be improved. Like any skill, emotional intelligence can be developed through conscious effort and practice. Key strategies include:

1. Self-reflection: Regularly examine your emotions, reactions, and behaviors
2. Feedback: Seek honest input from others about your emotional impact
3. Mindfulness: Practice being present and aware of your thoughts and feelings
4. Skill-building: Focus on specific EI competencies (e.g., active listening, empathy)
5. Real-world application: Look for opportunities to apply EI skills in daily life

Deliberate practice techniques:

• Role-playing challenging emotional scenarios
• Journaling about emotional experiences and insights
• Using emotion-tracking apps or tools
• Working with a coach or mentor focused on EI development

Remember that developing emotional intelligence is a lifelong journey. Be patient with yourself and celebrate small improvements along the way.

7. Authentic leadership requires alignment of values and actions

Emotional leadership isn't just putting on a game face every day. It means understanding your impact on others—then adjusting your style accordingly.

Authenticity builds trust and credibility. Leaders who align their actions with their stated values and beliefs are more likely to:

• Inspire trust and loyalty in their teams
• Make decisions that are consistent with organizational values
• Navigate ethical dilemmas with integrity
• Create a culture of transparency and accountability

Steps to cultivate authentic leadership:

1. Clarify your personal values and leadership philosophy
2. Regularly assess whether your actions align with your stated values
3. Be transparent about your decision-making processes
4. Admit mistakes and show vulnerability when appropriate
5. Encourage open dialogue and feedback about leadership practices

Remember that authenticity doesn't mean sharing every thought or emotion. It's about being genuine while still maintaining appropriate professional boundaries.

8. Resilience helps leaders navigate challenges and inspire others

We know of one CEO, for example, who was certain that everyone saw him as upbeat and reliable; his direct reports told us they found his cheerfulness strained, even fake, and his decisions erratic.

Resilience is the ability to bounce back from setbacks. Emotionally intelligent leaders demonstrate resilience by:

• Maintaining composure under pressure
• Adapting to changing circumstances
• Learning from failures and setbacks
• Inspiring confidence in others during difficult times

Strategies for building resilience:

• Develop a growth mindset: View challenges as opportunities for learning
• Practice stress-management techniques: Meditation, exercise, time management
• Build a strong support network: Mentors, peers, and trusted advisors
• Focus on what you can control: Identify actionable steps in difficult situations

Resilient leaders not only weather storms themselves but also create a culture of resilience within their organizations, fostering innovation and adaptability.

9. Emotional intelligence drives innovation and adaptability

Low levels of emotional intelligence create climates rife with fear and anxiety. Because tense or terrified employees can be very productive in the short term, their organizations may post good results, but they never last.

EI fosters creativity and flexibility. Organizations led by emotionally intelligent leaders are better equipped to:

• Embrace change and uncertainty
• Encourage diverse perspectives and ideas
• Create psychological safety for risk-taking
• Adapt quickly to market shifts and disruptions

Ways EI supports innovation:

• Empathy allows leaders to understand customer needs and pain points
• Self-awareness helps leaders recognize and challenge their own biases
• Relationship management skills facilitate cross-functional collaboration
• Emotional regulation enables calm decision-making in high-pressure situations

To cultivate an innovative culture, leaders should:

• Encourage experimentation and learning from failure
• Reward creative thinking and problem-solving
• Create spaces and processes for idea generation and sharing
• Model curiosity and openness to new approaches

10. Balancing IQ and EQ is key to sustainable leadership success

That's not to say that leaders can't have a bad day or week: Life happens. And our research doesn't suggest that good moods have to be high-pitched or nonstop—optimistic, sincere, and realistic will do.

Effective leadership requires both intellect and emotion. While emotional intelligence is crucial, it doesn't negate the importance of traditional leadership skills and cognitive abilities. The most successful leaders strike a balance between:

• Analytical thinking and emotional insight
• Strategic planning and interpersonal connection
• Task-oriented and relationship-oriented leadership

Strategies for balancing IQ and EQ:

• Recognize the strengths and limitations of both cognitive and emotional approaches
• Seek diverse perspectives when making decisions
• Develop systems that incorporate both data-driven and emotionally intelligent practices
• Cultivate a leadership team with complementary cognitive and emotional strengths

Remember that the goal is not to suppress emotions in favor of logic, or vice versa. Instead, aim to integrate both aspects for more holistic and effective leadership.

Last updated: August 16, 2024