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HIDING BATHROOM

HIDING BATHROOM

by Morra Aarons-Mele 2018 304 pages
3.11
500+ ratings
Listen
14 minutes

Key Takeaways

1. Embrace Your Inner Hermit: Success on Your Own Terms

"Being a hermit is saying, 'I need to manage my time and boundaries, like being able to be at home in my yoga pants three days a week. And I am willing to banish FOMO from my vocabulary to get there.'"

Redefine success. Traditional notions of success often involve constant networking, long hours at the office, and an always-on mentality. However, for introverts and those who value solitude, this path can lead to burnout and unhappiness. Instead, embrace your natural inclinations and create a work life that aligns with your temperament.

Create a hermit-friendly career. This might involve:

  • Working remotely or from home several days a week
  • Limiting in-person meetings and networking events
  • Focusing on deep, meaningful work rather than constant social interaction
  • Building a strong online presence to minimize the need for face-to-face networking

By accepting and working with your hermit tendencies, you can create a successful career that doesn't compromise your well-being or values. This approach allows you to leverage your strengths, such as deep focus and thoughtful analysis, while minimizing energy-draining activities.

2. Redefine Success: Leaning In Less for Work-Life Balance

"Sometimes I look at people who seem to have endless energy, who aren't sitting around ruminating, who just move through, and I'm in awe. But you have to recognize who you are as a person. It's taken me a long time to be able to say to myself, You don't need to do everything."

Challenge conventional wisdom. The popular "lean in" philosophy encourages constant striving and career advancement at all costs. However, this approach may not be sustainable or desirable for everyone, especially those who value work-life balance and personal well-being.

Embrace a balanced approach:

  • Prioritize personal fulfillment over external validation
  • Set realistic goals that align with your values and energy levels
  • Accept that success can look different for everyone
  • Focus on quality of work and life, rather than quantity of achievements

By redefining success on your own terms, you can create a more sustainable and satisfying career path. This might mean choosing a job with more flexibility, working part-time, or pursuing entrepreneurship. The key is to find a balance that allows you to thrive both professionally and personally, without succumbing to burnout or compromising your values.

3. Harness Anxiety as a Gift: Turn Sensitivity into Strength

"Anxiety has been a gift, says Christina, because 'it's made me an incredible manager (according to the dozen or so employees I've managed across my last three start-ups) because I am much more aware of how [my employees] like feedback and how to help them show their best selves.'"

Reframe anxiety. Instead of viewing anxiety as a weakness, recognize it as a potential source of strength and unique insight. Anxious individuals often possess heightened empathy, attention to detail, and the ability to anticipate potential problems – all valuable skills in the workplace.

Leverage anxiety-driven strengths:

  • Enhanced empathy and interpersonal skills
  • Meticulous preparation and planning
  • Strong drive and work ethic
  • Ability to identify and mitigate potential risks

By acknowledging and harnessing these anxiety-driven strengths, you can turn a perceived weakness into a professional asset. This might involve choosing roles that benefit from your heightened sensitivity, such as project management or client relations. Additionally, developing coping strategies and self-care practices can help manage anxiety while still benefiting from its positive aspects.

4. Craft Your Vision: Align Work with Personal Values

"A vision is your core set of principles, aligning your work to the reasons you live your life the way you do. Vision means executing, growing, and managing your own definition of success."

Define your personal vision. Rather than chasing societal definitions of success, take the time to articulate what truly matters to you. This vision should encompass both professional aspirations and personal values, creating a roadmap for a fulfilling life and career.

Steps to craft your vision:

  1. Identify your core values and priorities
  2. Reflect on what brings you joy and satisfaction
  3. Consider your ideal work environment and lifestyle
  4. Set realistic, achievable goals that align with your values
  5. Be willing to adjust your vision as you grow and evolve

By crafting a clear personal vision, you create a framework for decision-making and goal-setting that aligns with your authentic self. This vision acts as a compass, guiding you towards opportunities and choices that support your overall well-being and satisfaction, rather than external measures of success.

5. Set Boundaries: Protect Your Time and Energy

"Boundaries are your bottom line."

Establish clear limits. As an introvert or hermit, it's crucial to set and maintain boundaries that protect your energy and allow you to work in a way that suits your temperament. This involves learning to say no, managing expectations, and creating space for solitude and recharge.

Strategies for setting boundaries:

  • Clearly communicate your work hours and availability
  • Learn to say no to non-essential commitments
  • Create a dedicated workspace that minimizes distractions
  • Schedule regular breaks and alone time
  • Use technology to manage communications (e.g., email filters, do-not-disturb settings)

By setting and maintaining healthy boundaries, you create a work environment that supports your needs as an introvert or hermit. This not only improves your productivity and well-being but also helps establish clear expectations with colleagues, clients, and loved ones. Remember that boundaries are not selfish – they're necessary for sustainable success and personal fulfillment.

6. Master Time Management: Flexibility and Pacing for Hermits

"Sometimes you just need to; for instance, answering e-mail after hours during a busy time at work. But it's also a worthwhile way to see if the limits you've set are really necessary."

Optimize your schedule. As a hermit or introvert, it's essential to structure your time in a way that maximizes productivity while minimizing stress and energy drain. This often involves creating a flexible schedule that allows for deep work, rest, and strategic social interaction.

Time management strategies for hermits:

  • Identify your peak productivity hours and schedule important tasks accordingly
  • Use time-blocking to create focused work periods and built-in breaks
  • Experiment with techniques like the Pomodoro method to maintain focus
  • Batch similar tasks to minimize context-switching
  • Build in buffer time for unexpected interruptions or energy dips

Flexibility is key – be willing to adjust your schedule as needed, while still maintaining overall structure. By mastering time management techniques that work for your unique temperament, you can achieve high productivity and success without sacrificing your well-being or compromising your hermit tendencies.

7. Develop a Powerful Niche: Stand Out in the Digital Age

"Owning your niche is powerful."

Specialize strategically. In a crowded marketplace, developing a strong niche allows you to differentiate yourself and become known as an expert in a specific area. This is particularly valuable for introverts and hermits, as it enables you to build a strong reputation and attract clients or opportunities without extensive networking or self-promotion.

Steps to develop your niche:

  1. Identify your unique skills, experiences, and passions
  2. Research market needs and gaps in your industry
  3. Define your target audience and their specific pain points
  4. Develop specialized knowledge or services that address these needs
  5. Create content and offerings that showcase your expertise
  6. Consistently refine and deepen your niche over time

By focusing on a well-defined niche, you can become the go-to expert in your field, attracting opportunities and clients who specifically seek out your unique skills and perspective. This approach allows you to build a strong professional reputation while minimizing the need for broad, energy-draining networking efforts.

8. Thrive as a Hermit Entrepreneur: Small Can Be Sexy

"The smaller the company, the more control you (the owner) have."

Embrace small-scale success. Contrary to popular belief, not every business needs to scale rapidly or become a unicorn to be successful. For hermit entrepreneurs, keeping your business small and manageable can lead to greater satisfaction, control, and work-life balance.

Benefits of staying small:

  • Greater control over your time and workload
  • Ability to maintain high-quality standards
  • Flexibility to pivot or adapt quickly
  • Lower overhead and financial risk
  • Opportunity to focus on meaningful work and relationships

As a hermit entrepreneur, focus on creating a sustainable business that aligns with your values and desired lifestyle. This might involve careful client selection, strategic use of technology to minimize face-to-face interactions, and setting clear boundaries around your time and energy. Remember, success is not always measured by size or revenue – it's about creating a business that supports your well-being and personal goals.

9. Navigate Corporate Life as an Introvert: Flexibility and Autonomy

"Control over pace, place, and space is NOT a mommy issue! Everyone has their own work+life fit, and if you're an introvert, yours may not include sitting in an open-plan office fifty hours a week."

Advocate for your needs. Even in traditional corporate environments, introverts and hermits can thrive by proactively seeking arrangements that support their work style. This often involves negotiating for flexibility and creating spaces that allow for focused, uninterrupted work.

Strategies for corporate hermits:

  • Request flexible work arrangements (e.g., remote work days, adjusted hours)
  • Create a "hermit pilot" to demonstrate productivity in alternative work settings
  • Seek out roles that align with your strengths (e.g., deep analysis, written communication)
  • Use technology to minimize unnecessary face-to-face interactions
  • Advocate for quiet spaces or private work areas in open-plan offices

By clearly communicating your needs and demonstrating how alternative work arrangements can benefit both you and the company, you can create a more suitable environment within a corporate structure. Remember, your unique perspective and skills as an introvert can be valuable assets to your organization – don't be afraid to showcase them.

10. Sell Authentically: Leverage Your Unique Strengths

"Pride in your craft is one of the most successful selling points anyone can have. It beats a hundred hours of schmoozing."

Embrace your authentic style. Traditional sales techniques often emphasize aggressive tactics and extroverted personalities. However, introverts and hermits can be highly effective salespeople by leveraging their natural strengths and selling in a way that feels authentic and comfortable.

Introvert-friendly sales strategies:

  • Focus on deep listening and understanding client needs
  • Leverage your expertise and passion for your product or service
  • Use written communication (e.g., emails, proposals) to showcase your ideas
  • Develop a strong online presence to attract clients
  • Build long-term relationships based on trust and quality

By selling from a place of authenticity and genuine care for your clients' needs, you can create strong, lasting business relationships without compromising your introverted nature. Remember, your passion for your work and attention to detail can be powerful selling points – let them shine through in your sales approach.

11. Negotiate with Confidence: Collaborative Strategies for Introverts

"When you approach a social encounter as an opportunity for you to discover something about other people that you can help them with, as opposed to take something from them, then you are inducing long-term reciprocity."

Reframe negotiation as collaboration. For many introverts, traditional aggressive negotiation tactics feel uncomfortable and inauthentic. Instead, approach negotiations as an opportunity for mutual benefit and problem-solving, leveraging your natural strengths in empathy and deep listening.

Introvert-friendly negotiation tactics:

  • Thoroughly prepare and research before negotiations
  • Focus on understanding the other party's needs and motivations
  • Use your listening skills to identify win-win solutions
  • Leverage written communication to clarify points and proposals
  • Take breaks as needed to recharge and reflect

By approaching negotiations from a collaborative standpoint, you can achieve favorable outcomes while staying true to your introverted nature. Remember, your ability to think deeply and consider

Last updated:

Review Summary

3.11 out of 5
Average of 500+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Hiding in the Bathroom received mixed reviews, with an average rating of 3.11 out of 5. Some readers found it helpful for introverts and entrepreneurs, praising its practical advice and relatable content. However, many criticized it for being misleading, focusing more on business strategies than introversion. Critics noted its narrow scope, targeting female entrepreneurs rather than general introverts. Some appreciated its insights on work-life balance and networking, while others found it irrelevant to their needs. The book's marketing and title were frequently mentioned as misleading.

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About the Author

Morra Aarons-Mele is a multifaceted professional known for her work in podcasting, writing, entrepreneurship, and communications. She hosts "The Anxious Achiever" podcast and has authored two books on workplace mental health and success strategies for introverts. Aarons-Mele founded Women Online, a social impact agency, and has consulted for Fortune 500 companies and government agencies. Her work focuses on helping people navigate the intersection of mental health and professional success. She has contributed to major publications and has been recognized for her thought leadership in mental health. Aarons-Mele's background includes experience in political campaigns and advocacy for mission-driven organizations.

Other books by Morra Aarons-Mele

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