High Road Leadership

1. Leadership is about bringing people together, not dividing them.

Every person you lead is treated with dignity and respect.

Bridging divides. High-road leadership stands in stark contrast to the divisive forces prevalent in today's world. Instead of widening the chasm between "us" and "them," it seeks to build bridges and find common ground. This approach recognizes that true progress can only be achieved through collaboration and understanding, not through conflict and animosity.

Collaboration bias. Good leaders possess a strong collaboration bias, actively seeking to bring people together to increase understanding and broaden perspectives. This involves remaining open-minded, listening to diverse viewpoints, and working towards solutions that benefit the majority, not just a select few. It's about creating a culture of inclusivity where everyone feels valued and respected.

Beyond disagreement. The key is to see those on the "other side" as merely disagreeing, not as disagreeable human beings. By assuming positive intent and focusing on shared goals, leaders can foster trust and create an environment where meaningful dialogue and collaboration can flourish. This requires a willingness to rise above personal biases and engage with others in a spirit of empathy and respect.

2. Value all people, recognizing their inherent worth and potential.

Value people, believe in them, and love them unconditionally.

Intrinsic worth. At the heart of high-road leadership lies the unwavering belief that all people possess inherent worth and deserve to be treated with dignity. This is not about superficial compliments or fleeting gestures of kindness, but about genuinely seeing and acknowledging the value of each individual as a human being. It's about recognizing that everyone has something to contribute and deserves to be treated with respect, regardless of their background, beliefs, or circumstances.

Unconditional acceptance. Valuing all people also means believing in their potential for growth and improvement. It's about seeing beyond their current limitations and recognizing the possibilities that lie within them. This involves expressing belief in their abilities, providing opportunities for development, and challenging them to reach their full potential.

Love and acceptance. Extending unconditional love and acceptance is a gift that can transform lives. It means accepting others without judgment or conditions, regardless of their past mistakes or current struggles. This creates an atmosphere of safety and trust, where people feel empowered to be themselves and strive for their best.

3. Acknowledge your humanness, embracing both strengths and weaknesses.

Your gift is amazing, but you are not.

Gifts vs. the person. It's crucial to separate self-worth from abilities. Talents and gifts are given, not earned, and they don't make anyone better than anyone else. Acknowledging this distinction helps leaders maintain perspective and avoid arrogance. It also fosters empathy and understanding for others, recognizing that everyone has their own unique strengths and struggles.

Eagle and hippopotamus. We all have an "eagle" that wants to soar and do great things, but we also have a "hippopotamus" that wants to wallow in the mud. Acknowledging this duality helps us to give grace to ourselves and others, recognizing that everyone is flawed and makes mistakes. It fosters humility and prevents us from judging others too harshly.

Self-compassion. Acknowledging humanness also requires self-compassion. It's about treating yourself with the same kindness, care, and concern you would show a loved one. This involves recognizing your imperfections, forgiving yourself for your mistakes, and learning from your experiences. It's about being your own best friend, offering encouragement and support instead of criticism and judgment.

4. Do the right things for the right reasons, prioritizing service over self-interest.

You don’t have to win every time. Just do the right things for the right reasons.

Motives matter. The most important question leaders can ask themselves is: Why do I want to lead others? Are their motives pure, driven by a desire to serve and benefit others? Or are they driven by personal gain, power, or recognition? The answer to this question will determine whether they take the high road or the low road.

Motivation vs. manipulation. Motivation is for mutual advantage, caring about both results and people, fueled by love, and empowering others. Manipulation, on the other hand, is for self-advantage, caring only about results, fueled by ego, and controlling others. High-road leaders strive to motivate, not manipulate.

Rejecting wrong choices. Doing the right things for the right reasons often goes against the grain. It requires rejecting easy choices, applause, the insistence on being right, lip service, and the placing of blame on others. It means choosing the path that benefits the majority, even when it's difficult or unpopular.

5. Give more than you take, fostering a spirit of generosity and abundance.

Every day of your life, are you giving more than you take?

Generosity of spirit. Giving as a high-road leader has nothing to do with wealth. It's a mindset of leaving everyone you meet and every person you lead better off than when you found them. It's the idea of always bringing something to the table for others, but doing so without expecting anything in return.

Generous thinking:

• Open-Hearted Generosity: I desire to add value to others.
• Open-Minded Generosity: I think the best of others.
• Open-Handed Generosity: I give freely and often to others.

Giving what you can. Everyone has something they can give, whether it's talent, time, opportunities, money, or connections. The question is whether you will decide to be generous and become intentional about giving. It's about weighting the scales in favor of others and believing there's enough to go around for everyone.

6. Develop emotional capacity to navigate adversity with resilience and empathy.

Motions are the precursors of emotions.

Emotional capacity defined. Emotional capacity is the ability to respond to adversity, failure, criticism, and pressure in positive ways. It's about leading yourself well and managing your emotions so that you can lead others well. It requires resilience, emotional strength, and the ability to stand up under pressure.

Increasing emotional capacity:

• Refuse to see yourself as a victim
• Control your emotions and process them quickly
• Keep short accounts
• Put other people’s opinions in perspective
• Understand the difference between a problem and a fact of life
• Become comfortable with discomfort
• Keep growing your capacity so it’s always greater than your responsibilities
• Make caring for yourself a priority

Resilience is key. The key to developing greater emotional capacity is resilience, which is the ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change. Strong leaders are willing to bear the emotional brunt of problems for the sake of their people and organization.

7. Place people above your own agenda, prioritizing their well-being and growth.

I want more for you than from you.

People over agenda. Good leaders get things done, but high-road leaders never let their agenda, vision, or cause become more important than people. They understand that nothing they want to accomplish is possible unless the people they lead are successful. It's about serving others and wanting what's best for them.

Empathy and understanding. Willingness to place people above your own agenda begins with empathy. We must listen to others and work to understand them better. We must imagine ourselves walking in their shoes and attempt to see things from their point of view.

The leadership dance. Leading people is never static. It requires movement, rhythm, energy, and partnership. It's about tuning in to people's emotions and patterns of working. Sometimes you're ahead, leading by example. Sometimes you're beside, asking questions and listening. Sometimes you're below, serving your people. Sometimes you're behind, supporting your people. And sometimes you're above, advancing the big picture.

8. Embrace authenticity, leading with honesty, vulnerability, and genuine self-expression.

Sharing our true, flawed, authentic selves is the only way real connection and love can happen.

Being yourself. To be an effective high-road leader, you must embrace authenticity. You can't hide, pretend to be something you're not, or try to trick people into believing you are a better person or leader than you really are. You must be yourself with them—being open about your flaws and shortcomings as well as your strengths.

Embracing authenticity:

• Embrace and live good values
• Embrace the idea of living between success and failure
• Embrace the value of character over reputation
• Embrace the choices you make over the gifts you’ve been given
• Embrace the value of your contribution
• Embrace honesty when you’re wrong or make mistakes

Vulnerability and connection. Being vulnerable is hard, but sharing our true, flawed, authentic selves is the only way real connection and love can happen. It's the only way to step into our full power and purpose for our lives.

9. Take accountability for your actions, owning both successes and failures.

The buck stops here.

Responsibility and ownership. Taking accountability means accepting responsibility for the outcomes expected of you—both good and bad. You don't blame others, and you don't blame the external environment. There are always things you could have done—or still can do—to change the outcome.

Accountability in action:

• Personal Responsibility
• Team Responsibility
• Leadership Responsibility

Credibility and consistency. The more accountable you are, the more credible you become. The greater credibility you demonstrate, the more believable and trustworthy you are to the people you lead. Accountability also keeps you consistent, helping you to follow through on your commitments and maintain a high standard of performance.

10. Live by the bigger picture, seeing beyond the present to create a better future for all.

The only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.

Leadership advantage. The distinctive ability of leaders is that they see more than others and they see before others. They possess a different perspective. They see the bigger picture, and they do so more quickly than others. This gives them a distinct advantage.

Acquiring the bigger picture:

• Develop Maturity
• Understand the Greater Context
• Become Highly Intentional About Seeing and Living the Bigger Picture

Serving others. Living by the bigger picture is seeing the world as it is, finding opportunities to help others become great, and using your skills, talents, and resources to help as many people as you can in the time that you have. It's about creating a better future for all, not just for yourself.

Last updated: March 16, 2025