How Are You, Really? Living Your Truth One Answer at a Time

1. Ask Yourself: How Are You, Really?

Just the addition of that one precious word, that small invitation to cut the crap and stop with the niceties and be real with yourself and whoever is brave enough to ask it? It feels like a gulp of oxygen, like coming to the surface and seeing the light again.

Move beyond small talk. We often default to "good" and "busy" when asked how we are, avoiding deeper honesty due to fear or habit. This surface-level living drains us and keeps us from acknowledging our true state, whether it's discontent, exhaustion, or hidden dreams. The simple act of adding "really" to the question creates space for genuine self-reflection.

Unsent messages accumulate. When we stifle our feelings, wants, and dreams, they don't disappear. They return in moments of quiet, manifesting as anxiety, fatigue, or a sense that something is off. This internal backlog weighs us down, making us tired of keeping up with expectations and hustle culture.

Honesty is the starting point. Getting real about how you are, even if the answer is "not okay," is the necessary first step. It's not about choosing joy when it's not accessible, but acknowledging your current emotional landscape. This honesty is crucial for understanding yourself and showing up authentically in all aspects of life.

2. Listen to the Wisdom of Your Body

The body knows.

Your body is a compass. Beyond just keeping you alive, your body signals what is truly important through physical sensations. Tension, holding breath, a swirly gut – these aren't just random occurrences; they are messages about your feelings and values. Ignoring these signals means ignoring a vital part of yourself.

Bodies store unfelt feelings. Unexpressed words and unexplored dreams are carried around in our bodies, contributing to bone-deep tiredness. We often prioritize our brains and write off our bodies in self-awareness, but our physiological responses are a stripped-down, honest way of knowing how we feel.

Connect head and heart. Decades of societal messaging can lead us to feel disconnected from or even betrayed by our bodies. Learning to listen to your body, asking "How do I actually, physiologically, feel?", is a step towards wholeness and self-acceptance. Your body works hard for you; it deserves to be heard and loved.

3. Balance External Advice with Your Inner Intuition

We must question how incoming information aligns with our own intuition.

Information overload paralyzes. In a world overflowing with advice from experts, gurus, and influencers, it's easy to get lost and stop listening to our own inner voice. We become information-gatherers, grabbing the nearest blueprint instead of seeking our own intuition. This can lead us down paths that aren't truly ours.

Intuition is your inner GPS. It's that gut feeling, hunch, or knowing that guides you towards a life that is uniquely yours. While external information is valuable and accessible, it must be filtered through your own internal compass. Ask yourself:

• Does this feel true to me?
• Does this align with my goals?
• How is my gut responding?

Reclaim your inner voice. We are often conditioned from a young age to quiet down and trust authority figures over ourselves. Tuning into your intuition requires getting quiet, being still, and learning to trust the answers you hear within. This balance of external knowledge and internal knowing is essential for making your best decisions.

4. Embrace Imperfect Action to Start Your Dreams

Moving forward is knowing that you can commit to just one step at a time, and then deciding to take another, and another.

Perfection is the enemy of good. Waiting for the perfect time, the perfect plan, or the perfect version of yourself is a form of procrastination. Fear of failure or a desire for a 100% guarantee can paralyze you, keeping your ideas stuck in your head instead of bringing them into the world.

Start small, start now. Big dreams become reality through tiny, imperfect steps. Don't overcomplicate it; pick one small, easy thing you can do today to move forward. The author's podcast started in a car with pillows, her photography business with a $300 camera.

• Take one step, even if it's trembling.
• Utilize the tools you have within reach right now.
• Focus on the first hour, the first episode, the first attempt.

Mistakes are information. Imperfect action means accepting that you will make mistakes. These aren't failures; they are lessons that provide knowledge and propel you forward. Every stumble is a chance to learn and refine your path. The goal is progress, not perfection.

5. Prioritize Play and Creativity to Combat Burnout

Play might actually feel counterintuitive when you’re falling headlong down the slope of burnout.

Play is an anchor. In times of stress, uncertainty, or burnout, engaging in hobbies and creative pursuits provides comfort, stability, and happiness. It's not a waste of time; it's an essential way to remember who you are and how you want to feel, igniting a spirit that is innately human.

Creativity is inherent. You don't need to be an artist or have special supplies to be creative. It's an outlet that exists within you, ready to be unearthed. Even five minutes a day of doing something just for fun, without a specific result in mind, can inspire and refresh you.

Time is a precious currency. We often say we don't have time for play, but we find time for mindless scrolling or shopping. Prioritizing creativity means consciously scheduling it in, even in small pockets. This isn't selfish; it's necessary fuel for living a vibrant life and avoiding depletion.

6. It's Okay to Change Your Mind and Identity

The changes we dread most may contain our salvation.

Change is inevitable and beautiful. Life is a constant process of evolution. We outgrow friendships, change careers, shift beliefs, and develop new desires. It's okay, even necessary, to change your mind about who you are and what you want. This isn't failure; it's a sign of growth.

Don't be stuck in identity foreclosure. We sometimes commit to a specific identity too early, without exploring all options. This can make us feel fixed or trapped. The "sunk cost fallacy" keeps us clinging to things we've invested in, even when they no longer serve us, for fear of having wasted time or effort.

Embrace the rumble and quake. Changing your mind can create chaos and feel scary, especially when it impacts relationships or challenges long-held beliefs. However, this disruption is often necessary for transformation. Allow yourself to evolve, even if it means contradicting a past version of yourself.

7. Know Your Value and Dare to Ask for Help

When a woman knows her value? Turns out she can land both.

Everyone has a gift. You possess unique skills, talents, and insights that are valuable to the world, even if they come easily to you and you tend to discount them. Recognizing your own worth is the first step in making things happen and contributing to others.

Pride is a chokehold. Asking for help can be incredibly difficult due to pride, a desire for control, or fear of appearing weak or incapable. This can lead to burnout and the belief that you must carry every burden alone.

Asking for help is courageous. Saying "I need help" is a powerful act that loosens pride's grip and opens your hands to receive support. It's not a sign of failure, but a recognition of human limitation and an invitation for others to contribute their gifts. This builds intimacy and expands your potential.

8. Define Your Enough Point and Set Boundaries

It’s not the load that breaks you down; it’s the way you carry it.

More isn't always better. Continually chasing "more" without defining what is "enough" leads to an endless pursuit and eventual burnout. Success isn't just about external achievements; it's about how your life feels.

Boundaries are transformative. Setting clear boundaries is essential for protecting your time, energy, and well-being. Saying "no" to things that don't align with your values or goals allows you to say "yes" to what truly
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Last updated: May 14, 2025