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I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was

I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was

How to Discover What You Really Want and How to Get It
by Barbara Sher 2010 338 pages
3.79
7k+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Recognize your unique talents and desires

"You do know what you want to do; everybody does."

Uncover your true self. Each person has a unique combination of talents, interests, and desires that make them who they are. Often, these qualities are buried beneath layers of societal expectations, family pressures, or self-doubt. To live a fulfilling life, it's essential to recognize and embrace your authentic self.

Explore your passions. Take time to reflect on activities that bring you joy, topics that captivate your interest, and dreams that inspire you. These are clues to your true calling. Don't dismiss seemingly impractical or unconventional desires – they may be the key to your most satisfying life path.

Trust your instincts. Your inner voice often knows what's best for you, even when it contradicts external advice or expectations. Learn to listen to and trust your intuition, as it can guide you towards opportunities and experiences that align with your authentic self.

2. Overcome fear of success and self-sabotage

"When you're doing what you love—mothering, designing airplanes, swimming—you're going to be really good at it."

Identify self-sabotaging behaviors. Many people unconsciously sabotage their own success due to deep-seated fears or unresolved issues. Common signs include procrastination, perfectionism, and a pattern of quitting just when things start to go well. Recognizing these behaviors is the first step to overcoming them.

Confront underlying fears. Fear of success often stems from childhood experiences or internalized beliefs. It may involve fear of leaving loved ones behind, fear of increased responsibility, or fear of not living up to expectations. Examine your fears honestly and challenge their validity in your current life.

Develop a success mindset. Replace self-defeating thoughts with positive, affirming ones. Visualize yourself succeeding and embrace the idea that you deserve success. Surround yourself with supportive people who believe in your potential and encourage your growth.

3. Embrace change and new beginnings

"Being born in a duck yard does not matter, if only you are hatched from a swan's egg."

Accept life transitions. Change is an inevitable part of life, whether it's graduating from school, changing careers, or entering retirement. Instead of resisting these transitions, view them as opportunities for growth and self-discovery.

Reframe your perspective. See change as a chance to reinvent yourself and explore new possibilities. Every ending is also a beginning. Embrace the unknown with curiosity and optimism, rather than fear and apprehension.

Develop adaptability. Cultivate skills that will help you navigate change more easily, such as:

  • Flexibility in thinking and behavior
  • Resilience in the face of setbacks
  • Openness to new experiences and ideas
  • Willingness to learn and grow continually

4. Identify and pursue your true passions

"Nature will come halfway and help you."

Discover your touchstone. Your touchstone is the core essence of what truly motivates and excites you. It's not necessarily your skills or abilities, but rather what lifts your heart and makes you feel alive. Identifying your touchstone can guide you towards a fulfilling life path.

Explore diverse experiences. Try new activities, learn new skills, and expose yourself to different environments. This exploration can help you uncover hidden passions and talents you may not have been aware of.

Follow your curiosity. Pay attention to what naturally draws your interest and pursue those paths, even if they seem impractical at first. Your curiosity is often a signpost pointing towards your true passions and potential areas of excellence.

5. Balance extraordinary dreams with ordinary responsibilities

"Extraordinary people don't waste any energy raging against the ordinary—they don't even care about what's ordinary and what's not."

Embrace the mundane. Recognize that even the most extraordinary lives are filled with ordinary tasks and responsibilities. Accepting and managing these aspects of life is essential for achieving your bigger dreams.

Find meaning in daily tasks. Look for ways to connect your everyday responsibilities to your larger goals and values. This perspective can make even mundane tasks feel more purposeful and rewarding.

Practice time management. Develop strategies to efficiently handle necessary tasks, freeing up time and energy for pursuing your passions. This might include:

  • Prioritizing important activities
  • Delegating when possible
  • Eliminating or minimizing time-wasting activities
  • Creating routines for recurring tasks

6. Confront and heal from past traumas

"You can't bounce back. And you're doomed to frustration if you try to treat what happened to you like a mere setback."

Acknowledge past wounds. Unresolved traumas from childhood or past experiences can significantly impact your present life and ability to pursue your dreams. Recognizing and acknowledging these wounds is the first step towards healing.

Process emotions fully. Allow yourself to feel and express the emotions associated with past traumas, rather than suppressing or avoiding them. This might involve:

  • Journaling about your experiences
  • Talking with a trusted friend or therapist
  • Engaging in creative expression like art or music

Reframe your narrative. Work on changing the stories you tell yourself about your past experiences. Instead of seeing yourself as a victim, focus on your resilience and the strengths you've developed as a result of your challenges.

7. Take action to create the life you want

"Anything worth doing is worth doing too soon."

Start before you're ready. Don't wait for perfect conditions or complete certainty before taking action. Taking small steps, even when you feel unprepared, can build momentum and lead to unexpected opportunities.

Set achievable goals. Break down your larger dreams into smaller, manageable goals. This makes your aspirations feel more attainable and allows you to celebrate progress along the way.

Embrace imperfection. Accept that mistakes and setbacks are part of the process. Don't let fear of failure prevent you from taking action. Learn from your experiences and adjust your approach as needed.

Create a support system. Surround yourself with people who encourage and support your goals. Consider joining or forming a "Success Team" – a group of like-minded individuals who meet regularly to help each other achieve their dreams.

Last updated:

Review Summary

3.79 out of 5
Average of 7k+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was receives mixed reviews, with many praising its practical exercises and insights into career indecision. Readers appreciate the author's understanding of various life situations and obstacles. Some find the book outdated or overly focused on childhood influences. Many readers report gaining valuable self-knowledge and motivation to pursue their goals. Critics note that the book may not be suitable for all personality types and that some exercises are impractical. Overall, most reviewers found the book helpful in their journey of self-discovery and career exploration.

Your rating:

About the Author

Barbara Sher is a renowned speaker, career coach, and best-selling author of seven books on goal achievement. Her works have sold millions of copies worldwide and been translated into numerous languages. Sher has appeared on major television shows like Oprah and Good Morning America, and her public television specials are regularly broadcast in the United States. She lectures globally at universities, Fortune 100 companies, and professional conferences. Sher's latest book, "Refuse to Choose," addresses the needs of "scanners" - individuals with multiple interests struggling to choose a single life direction. Her approach combines practical advice with motivational strategies to help readers achieve their goals and find fulfillment.

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