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Live the Life You Love

Live the Life You Love

In Ten Easy Step-By Step Lessons
by Barbara Sher 1996 256 pages
3.84
100+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Discover Your True Motivators to Achieve Your Dreams

"You can't know it yet, but this program is different from any you've ever seen—you'll find that out in the first lesson. This program will work because you're going to tailor it to fit you perfectly."

Personalized motivation is key. Traditional self-help methods often fail because they don't account for individual differences. Instead of relying on generic motivational techniques, it's crucial to identify what truly drives you. This could be praise, competition, deadlines, or rewards.

Experiment with different motivators. Create a "report card" for various motivational methods, grading their effectiveness for you personally. This might include:

  • Positive affirmations
  • Setting deadlines
  • Reward systems
  • Accountability partners
  • Visualization techniques

By understanding your unique motivational profile, you can design a tailored approach that maximizes your chances of success in pursuing your dreams.

2. Gather Supportive Allies for Your Journey

"You need allies, and you need them now. You need people who believe in you and can see the genius in you, right here at the beginning when you aren't at all sure of that genius yourself."

Create an imaginary support team. Identify historical figures, fictional characters, or personal heroes who embody qualities you admire. Visualize them as your allies, offering encouragement and advice when you need it most.

Cultivate real-life supporters. Surround yourself with people who believe in your potential and can offer practical help:

  • Mentors in your field of interest
  • Like-minded peers pursuing similar goals
  • Friends and family who provide emotional support
  • Professionals who can offer expert advice

Remember, having a strong support network can provide the motivation, guidance, and reassurance needed to overcome obstacles and stay committed to your dreams.

3. Understand and Harness Your Emotions

"Feelings play a special role in the journey toward a life you will love. They serve as a compass that will guide you toward the right goals, but they can also gather up into a heavy burden that can stop you."

Emotional awareness is crucial. Learn to recognize and name your emotions, understanding that they provide valuable information about your desires, fears, and needs. Keep an "Emotions Checklist" to track your feelings throughout the day.

Use emotions as a guide. Rather than suppressing or ignoring your feelings, use them to:

  • Identify what truly matters to you
  • Recognize potential obstacles
  • Gauge your progress towards your goals
  • Make decisions aligned with your values

By developing emotional intelligence, you can better navigate the ups and downs of pursuing your dreams, making more informed choices and staying resilient in the face of challenges.

4. Clear the Clutter to Make Room for Your Dreams

"Clutter is like a modern sculpture you've assembled all around you, a monument that pays tribute to indecision."

Physical clutter reflects mental clutter. A cluttered environment can impede your ability to focus on your goals and dreams. Recognize that holding onto unnecessary items often stems from fear of change or indecision.

Implement decluttering strategies:

  • Use the "smallest unit" approach: Start with just 10 items in each room
  • Set a timer for short decluttering sessions (e.g., 15 minutes)
  • Create a "maybe" box for items you're unsure about
  • Donate or sell items you haven't used in the past year

By creating physical space in your environment, you're also creating mental space for new ideas, opportunities, and the energy needed to pursue your dreams.

5. Uncover Your Unique Gifts and Talents

"What you love is as unique to you as your fingerprints. You need to know that because nothing will make you really happy but doing what you love."

Identify your passions. Reflect on activities you enjoyed throughout your life, from childhood to the present. These often point to innate talents and interests that may have been overlooked or undervalued.

Explore potential paths:

  • Write "press releases" about imaginary future achievements
  • Engage in small, enjoyable activities related to your interests
  • Research careers and lifestyles that align with your passions
  • Talk to people working in fields that intrigue you

Remember, your unique combination of interests and abilities can lead to innovative career paths or lifestyles that you may not have considered before. Trust that what you love is a clue to your greatest potential contributions.

6. Overcome Resistance and Take Action

"Resistance is a primitive safety mechanism, like a big, muscular bodyguard pulling you back from what it perceives as danger."

Understand resistance as natural. Recognize that resistance to change and pursuing dreams is a biological survival mechanism, not a personal failing. It's designed to keep you safe, but can hold you back from growth and fulfillment.

Strategies to overcome resistance:

  • Identify the smallest possible action towards your goal
  • Use the "refusal technique" when resistance is strong
  • Create external triggers to remind you of your goals
  • Always restart immediately when you notice you've stopped

By acknowledging resistance and developing techniques to work with it rather than against it, you can maintain momentum towards your dreams even when facing internal obstacles.

7. Research and Gather Information Effectively

"I have developed a series of research techniques that are simple, effective, even jolly."

Embrace unconventional research methods. Move beyond traditional library research to gather information and ideas in engaging, interactive ways.

Effective research strategies:

  • Use the "wish/obstacle solution" to get help from others
  • Host an "Idea Party" to brainstorm with friends
  • Explore trade magazines and professional associations
  • Attend conferences and trade shows in fields of interest
  • Utilize online forums and social media for networking

By approaching research as an adventure rather than a chore, you can uncover valuable information, make connections, and discover unexpected opportunities related to your dreams.

8. Practice Your Dream Through a Dress Rehearsal

"You might accomplish big things in this practice run. It happens all the time. But one thing is for sure: you can't fail."

Conduct a low-stakes trial run. Choose a smaller, achievable goal related to your larger dream and pursue it over a short period (e.g., 3 months). This allows you to practice the skills and strategies you've learned in a real-world context.

Benefits of a dress rehearsal:

  • Gain practical experience in goal pursuit
  • Identify personal strengths and weaknesses
  • Learn to navigate obstacles and setbacks
  • Build confidence and momentum
  • Refine your approach for larger goals

By treating this practice run as a learning experience rather than a make-or-break opportunity, you can gain valuable insights and skills that will serve you well when pursuing your ultimate dream.

9. Create a Memory Deck and Wish Deck for Success

"Your Memory Deck is like your traveling gear. When you climb a mountain, you need to make sure your ropes are in good shape."

Develop a portable reminder system. Create two sets of index cards:

  1. Memory Deck: Contains key lessons, motivational quotes, and strategies
  2. Wish Deck: Lists potential dreams and goals

Use these decks to:

  • Reinforce important concepts and techniques
  • Stay motivated during challenging times
  • Explore and refine your aspirations
  • Make informed decisions about which dreams to pursue

By carrying these decks with you and reviewing them regularly, you create a personalized support system that keeps you focused, inspired, and aligned with your goals.

10. Choose and Pursue Your Heart-Stopping Dream

"If someone came to your door and offered you the chance to do it, it would take your breath away and your heart would skip a beat."

Identify your most compelling dream. Review your Wish Deck and select the goal that truly excites and inspires you. This "heart-stopper" should align with your passions, values, and unique gifts.

Take decisive action:

  • Create a detailed plan using outcome thinking
  • Break the goal into manageable steps
  • Apply all the strategies you've learned and practiced
  • Stay committed, but be flexible in your approach

Remember that pursuing your heart-stopping dream is not just about achieving a specific outcome, but about living a life aligned with your deepest values and desires. Embrace the journey, learn from setbacks, and celebrate your progress along the way.

Last updated:

FAQ

What's "Live the Life You Love" about?

  • Overview: "Live the Life You Love" by Barbara Sher is a self-help book designed to guide readers through a ten-step program to create a life they will love.
  • Purpose: The book aims to help individuals identify their hidden talents and passions, overcome self-doubt, and take actionable steps toward fulfilling their dreams.
  • Structure: It is organized into ten lessons, each focusing on a specific aspect of personal development, such as motivation, support systems, and overcoming resistance.
  • Outcome: By following the lessons, readers are expected to gain clarity on their life goals and develop a personalized plan to achieve them.

Why should I read "Live the Life You Love"?

  • Self-Discovery: The book provides tools and exercises to help you uncover your unique gifts and passions, which are essential for living a fulfilling life.
  • Practical Guidance: It offers actionable steps and strategies to overcome common obstacles like procrastination and fear, making it easier to pursue your dreams.
  • Supportive Framework: The lessons encourage building a support system of allies and using motivational techniques tailored to your personality.
  • Empowerment: By the end of the book, you should feel more confident and equipped to take control of your life and make meaningful changes.

What are the key takeaways of "Live the Life You Love"?

  • Identify Your Gifts: Discover what you love to do and why, as these are indicators of your natural talents.
  • Overcome Resistance: Learn strategies to deal with internal resistance that stops you from pursuing your dreams.
  • Build Support Systems: Gather allies and create a network that supports your journey toward a fulfilling life.
  • Take Action: Use practical exercises to clear clutter, both physical and mental, to make room for your dreams.

How does Barbara Sher suggest overcoming resistance in "Live the Life You Love"?

  • Understand Resistance: Recognize that resistance is a natural, biological response meant to keep you safe but can hinder personal growth.
  • Small Steps: Break down tasks into the smallest possible units to avoid triggering resistance and gradually build momentum.
  • Declare Refusal: If you can't take action, consciously refuse to do anything, which keeps you in control rather than feeling defeated.
  • Love the Process: Focus on finding joy in the smallest units of action to reignite your passion and counteract resistance.

What is the "Wish Deck" in "Live the Life You Love"?

  • Definition: The Wish Deck is a collection of 3x5 index cards where you write down your top goals and dreams.
  • Purpose: It helps you visualize and prioritize your wishes, making it easier to focus on what truly matters to you.
  • Process: You refine your Wish Deck by sorting through your desires, identifying themes, and narrowing down to the most compelling goals.
  • Outcome: The Wish Deck serves as a roadmap to guide you toward a life you love, helping you make informed decisions about your future.

How does Barbara Sher recommend using the "Memory Deck" in "Live the Life You Love"?

  • Purpose: The Memory Deck is a tool to help you remember key insights and strategies from the book, ensuring you stay on track.
  • Contents: It includes cards with motivational techniques, names of allies, feelings to monitor, and tricks to overcome resistance.
  • Usage: Regularly review the cards to reinforce positive habits and remind yourself of your goals and the steps needed to achieve them.
  • Flexibility: The deck is customizable, allowing you to add new insights and remove outdated ones as you progress.

What are some of the best quotes from "Live the Life You Love" and what do they mean?

  • "What you love is as unique to you as your fingerprints." This emphasizes the individuality of passions and the importance of pursuing what truly resonates with you.
  • "Resistance is a primitive safety mechanism." It highlights that resistance is a natural response meant to protect you, but it can be overcome with the right strategies.
  • "You don’t have to change yourself to change your life." This quote reassures readers that they can achieve their dreams by leveraging their existing strengths and gifts.
  • "Dreams are astoundingly important." It underscores the significance of dreams as indicators of your true desires and potential.

How does Barbara Sher suggest building a support system in "Live the Life You Love"?

  • Gather Allies: Identify people who believe in you and can offer encouragement and advice as you pursue your goals.
  • Imaginary Allies: Use your imagination to create a team of supportive figures, real or fictional, to boost your confidence and provide guidance.
  • Regular Check-ins: Maintain contact with your allies to keep your motivation high and receive feedback on your progress.
  • Diverse Network: Ensure your support system includes a variety of perspectives and skills to help you navigate different challenges.

What is the "Idea Bank" in "Live the Life You Love"?

  • Definition: The Idea Bank is a collection of research techniques and resources to help you gather information and solve problems related to your goals.
  • Methods: It includes strategies like the wish/obstacle solution, Idea Parties, and using libraries and online resources.
  • Purpose: The Idea Bank is designed to make research enjoyable and effective, providing you with the knowledge needed to pursue your dreams.
  • Outcome: By using the Idea Bank, you can overcome obstacles and gain insights that bring you closer to achieving your goals.

How does Barbara Sher address the concept of "clutter" in "Live the Life You Love"?

  • Definition: Clutter is described as both physical and mental obstacles that prevent you from pursuing your dreams.
  • Types: It includes unnecessary possessions, unfinished projects, and mental distractions that create noise in your life.
  • Solutions: Sher offers tricks to clear clutter, such as organizing less, tossing ten things daily, and passing on items to others.
  • Purpose: Clearing clutter creates space and time for you to focus on what truly matters, making it easier to pursue a life you love.

What role do feelings play in "Live the Life You Love"?

  • Compass: Feelings act as a guide, helping you identify what you truly love and what will make you happy.
  • Signals: They alert you to problems and areas that need attention, such as fear or resistance that may be holding you back.
  • Self-Awareness: Understanding your feelings allows you to make informed decisions and avoid living according to someone else's vision.
  • Expression: Sher encourages expressing feelings rather than suppressing them, as this leads to personal growth and clarity.

What is the significance of the "Dress Rehearsal" in "Live the Life You Love"?

  • Purpose: The Dress Rehearsal is a practice run for pursuing a dream, allowing you to test strategies and overcome obstacles in a low-stakes environment.
  • Experience: It provides valuable insights into your planning style, resistance patterns, and the effectiveness of your support system.
  • Confidence: By practicing, you gain the confidence and skills needed to tackle larger, more significant goals in the future.
  • Outcome: The Dress Rehearsal helps you become a seasoned dream-chaser, ready to pursue a life you love with fewer surprises and setbacks.

Review Summary

3.84 out of 5
Average of 100+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Live the Life You Love In Ten Easy Step-By Step Lessons receives mostly positive reviews, with readers praising its motivational approach and practical exercises. Many find the book helpful in identifying personal goals and overcoming resistance. Some readers compare it favorably to Sher's other works, particularly "Wishcraft." Critics note that some content feels outdated, and a few find the exercises overwhelming. Overall, reviewers appreciate Sher's encouraging tone and the book's emphasis on self-discovery and pursuing one's passions.

Your rating:

About the Author

Barbara Sher is a renowned speaker, career coach, and bestselling author of seven books on goal achievement. Her works have sold millions of copies worldwide and been translated into numerous languages. Sher has gained widespread recognition through appearances on major television shows like Oprah and Good Morning America. She regularly conducts lectures at universities, Fortune 100 companies, and professional conferences globally. Sher's latest book, "Refuse to Choose," focuses on helping "scanners" - individuals with multiple interests who struggle to choose a single life direction. Her approach combines practical advice with motivational techniques to assist readers in identifying and pursuing their passions.

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