Mars And Venus Starting Over

1. Understanding the Four Healing Emotions: Anger, Sadness, Fear, and Sorrow

To heal a broken heart, we must be able to complete the healing process.

Recognizing emotional pain. The four healing emotions - anger, sadness, fear, and sorrow - play crucial roles in processing loss and healing a broken heart. Each emotion serves a specific purpose:

• Anger: Reveals what happened that we didn't want
• Sadness: Shows what didn't happen that we wanted
• Fear: Highlights what could happen that we don't want
• Sorrow: Acknowledges what cannot happen that we want

Embracing the process. By fully experiencing and expressing these emotions, we can release attachments, adjust expectations, and open ourselves to new possibilities. This process allows us to reset our hearts and move forward with forgiveness, understanding, gratitude, and trust.

2. The 90-10 Principle: Linking Present Pain to Past Experiences

Only 10 percent of the hurt we feel has to do with what we think we are upset about.

Understanding emotional triggers. The 90-10 principle suggests that 90% of our current emotional pain is linked to unresolved feelings from our past, while only 10% is related to the present situation. This concept explains why certain events or interactions can trigger disproportionately strong emotional responses.

Healing through connection. By recognizing this principle, we can:

• Identify the root causes of our emotional reactions
• Process unresolved feelings from past experiences
• Develop a more balanced perspective on current situations
• Achieve more profound and lasting emotional healing

3. Letting Go of Hurt: Living in Present Time and Healing Past Wounds

By recognizing that we are not dependent on our ex-partner, he or she cannot continue to hurt us.

Breaking emotional dependencies. Letting go of hurt requires recognizing that we are no longer dependent on our ex-partner for emotional support or happiness. This realization allows us to live in the present and take responsibility for our own healing.

Strategies for moving forward:

• Acknowledge past pain without reliving it
• Focus on personal growth and self-improvement
• Cultivate new sources of support and fulfillment
• Practice self-compassion and forgiveness

4. Rekindling Passion: The Importance of Romantic Getaways and Variety

Women particularly often need a change of environment to be aroused.

Creating new experiences. Romantic getaways play a crucial role in rekindling passion by providing a change of scenery and freeing partners from daily responsibilities. These experiences help awaken inner beauty and passion, especially for women.

Maintaining excitement:

• Schedule regular romantic getaways (at least once a month)
• Explore new environments and activities together
• Use the change of scenery to facilitate open communication
• Incorporate variety in sexual experiences to keep things fresh and exciting

5. Polarity Sex: Balancing Giving and Receiving for Mutual Satisfaction

Polarity sex often starts with the man feeling aroused and aggressive about releasing his sexual tension, and the woman simply enjoying his arousal.

Understanding the stages. Polarity sex involves two stages:

1. The man receives while the woman gives
2. The roles reverse, with the woman receiving and the man giving

Benefits of this approach:

• Allows both partners to fully focus on giving or receiving
• Reduces performance pressure
• Ensures both partners' needs are met
• Increases overall sexual satisfaction

6. Mechanical vs. Spontaneous Sex: The Baseball Analogy

When a man watches a baseball game, it is the anticipation of what will happen that makes it most exciting.

Creating anticipation. Like a baseball game, sex becomes more exciting when there's an element of unpredictability. Men tend to prefer formulas, while women crave variety and spontaneity.

Balancing structure and spontaneity:

• Develop multiple "formulas" or techniques to rotate through
• Vary touch, rhythm, and intensity during foreplay and intercourse
• Pay attention to partner's responses and adjust accordingly
• Focus on the journey rather than just the end goal

7. The Power of Passionate Monogamy in Sustaining Attraction

Every time a man is tempted by the possibility of sex and maintains his monogamous commitment, he is creating the safety for his partner to enjoy sex more.

Building trust and intimacy. Passionate monogamy creates a safe environment for both partners to fully express themselves sexually. It allows for deeper emotional connection and trust, which in turn fuels passion and attraction.

Benefits of monogamous commitment:

• Increases sexual safety and trust
• Allows partners to explore and fulfill each other's desires
• Strengthens emotional bond and intimacy
• Encourages personal growth and sexual skill development

8. Mastering Sexual Anatomy and Oral Sex Techniques

Because touching the clitoris is so important for a woman's fulfillment and because it is so small and easily overlooked, I would like to take a moment to review some basic terms about a woman's anatomy.

Understanding anatomy. Knowledge of sexual anatomy is crucial for mutual satisfaction. Key areas to focus on include the clitoris, labia, G-spot, and penis.

Oral sex techniques:

• For women: Gentle touch, varied movements, and attention to the clitoris
• For men: Balancing friction and compression, exploring different hand and mouth movements
• For both: Maintaining lubrication, varying pressure and rhythm, and paying attention to partner's responses

9. Effective Communication About Sex: Asking the Right Questions

Both men and women need clear and positive feedback to know what brings their partners the greatest fulfillment.

Opening dialogue. Regular, open communication about sexual preferences and experiences is essential for maintaining a satisfying sex life. This involves asking the right questions and creating a safe space for honest answers.

Key communication strategies:

• Schedule regular check-ins to discuss sexual satisfaction
• Ask specific questions about likes, dislikes, and desires
• Avoid judgmental or critical language
• Be open to experimenting with new ideas
• Provide positive feedback during and after sexual experiences

Last updated: August 21, 2024