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Mind in the Making

Mind in the Making

The Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs
by Ellen Galinsky 2010 382 pages
3.86
1k+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Children are born with innate learning capacities that should be nurtured

Babies are deeply driven and passionate about understanding the world and understanding the people around them. A baby's whole essence is about plugging into the world.

Innate capacities. From birth, infants demonstrate remarkable abilities to learn about their environment. They possess a "number sense" allowing them to differentiate between small quantities, a "language sense" enabling them to detect patterns in speech, and a "people sense" that helps them understand others' intentions. These innate capacities form the foundation for future learning and development.

Nurturing environment. To optimize these inborn abilities, children need a supportive and stimulating environment. Parents and caregivers play a crucial role in providing opportunities for exploration, offering age-appropriate challenges, and responding to children's interests and needs. By recognizing and building upon these innate capacities, adults can help children develop a lifelong love of learning and curiosity about the world around them.

2. Focus and self-control are essential skills for children's success

Executive functions predict children's achievements as well as IQ tests do or even better, because they go beyond what we know and tap our abilities to use what we know.

Executive functions. Focus and self-control are part of a broader set of cognitive skills known as executive functions. These include:

  • Working memory
  • Cognitive flexibility
  • Inhibitory control

Developing skills. Parents and educators can help children develop these crucial skills through:

  • Structured play activities
  • Games that require following rules and taking turns
  • Encouraging children to plan and reflect on their actions
  • Modeling self-control in daily life

As children mature, these skills enable them to manage their attention, emotions, and behavior more effectively, leading to better academic performance and social relationships.

3. Perspective-taking ability develops early and is crucial for social interactions

By six months, they can tell the difference between who's helpful and who's not.

Early emergence. Contrary to earlier beliefs, research shows that children begin developing perspective-taking abilities in infancy. This capacity allows them to understand others' intentions, emotions, and beliefs, forming the foundation for empathy and social cognition.

Fostering perspective-taking. Parents can nurture this skill by:

  • Discussing emotions and motivations in stories
  • Encouraging role-play and pretend games
  • Modeling perspective-taking in daily interactions
  • Asking children to consider others' viewpoints

As children grow, their ability to take others' perspectives becomes more sophisticated, enabling them to navigate complex social situations, resolve conflicts, and build stronger relationships.

4. Effective communication skills are built through responsive parent-child interactions

We are born into a complex world that cannot be completely predicted in advance and thus our brain cannot be fully prewired.

Language acquisition. Children's communication skills develop through a complex interplay of innate abilities and environmental influences. Key factors in this process include:

  • Parent-speak: The melodic, slowed-down speech adults often use with infants
  • Parent-look: Facial expressions and eye contact that convey meaning
  • Parent-gesture: Pointing and other nonverbal cues that direct attention

Responsive interactions. Parents can support language development by:

  • Engaging in back-and-forth conversations, even with pre-verbal infants
  • Responding to children's attempts at communication
  • Providing rich vocabulary in everyday contexts
  • Reading books and telling stories together

These responsive interactions not only build language skills but also strengthen the parent-child bond, creating a foundation for future learning and social-emotional development.

5. Making connections is fundamental to learning and creativity

The essence of creativity is to be able to disassemble and recombine elements in new ways.

Cognitive foundations. Making connections involves several cognitive processes:

  • Categorizing and sorting information
  • Recognizing patterns and relationships
  • Applying knowledge to new situations

Fostering connections. Parents and educators can encourage this skill by:

  • Providing diverse experiences and materials for exploration
  • Asking open-ended questions that prompt reflection
  • Encouraging children to draw analogies between different concepts
  • Engaging in creative problem-solving activities

As children develop their ability to make connections, they become more adept at creative thinking, problem-solving, and adapting to new situations – all crucial skills for success in the 21st century.

6. Critical thinking emerges gradually and can be fostered through guided experiences

Critical thinking is the ongoing search for valid and reliable knowledge to guide our beliefs and actions.

Developmental progression. Critical thinking skills develop over time, building on earlier cognitive abilities. Key components include:

  • Analyzing information
  • Evaluating evidence
  • Drawing logical conclusions
  • Considering alternative perspectives

Guided experiences. Adults can support the development of critical thinking by:

  • Encouraging children to ask questions and seek evidence
  • Modeling analytical thinking in everyday situations
  • Providing opportunities for problem-solving and decision-making
  • Engaging in discussions about complex topics

As children practice these skills, they become better equipped to navigate the vast amount of information available in today's world, make informed decisions, and develop well-reasoned beliefs and opinions.

7. Taking on challenges builds resilience and a growth mindset

A childhood that had no stress in it would not prepare you for adulthood. If you never allow your child[ren] to exceed what they can do, how are they going to learn to manage adult life—where a lot of it is managing more than you thought you could manage?

Resilience building. Facing and overcoming challenges is essential for developing resilience. This process involves:

  • Experiencing manageable levels of stress
  • Learning coping strategies
  • Building confidence through successful experiences

Growth mindset. Carol Dweck's research on mindset demonstrates the importance of viewing abilities as malleable rather than fixed. Parents can foster a growth mindset by:

  • Praising effort and strategies rather than innate abilities
  • Encouraging perseverance in the face of obstacles
  • Framing failures as opportunities for learning and growth

By supporting children as they take on challenges and develop a growth mindset, parents help prepare them for the inevitable obstacles and setbacks they will face throughout life.

8. Self-directed, engaged learning is the ultimate goal of child development

Executive function is a behavioral construct that, broadly speaking, refers to the deliberate, goal-directed control of behavior.

Intrinsic motivation. Self-directed learning is fueled by intrinsic motivation – the desire to learn for its own sake. This type of learning is characterized by:

  • High levels of engagement and focus
  • Persistence in the face of challenges
  • Creativity and exploration

Supporting self-direction. Parents and educators can foster self-directed learning by:

  • Providing a rich, stimulating environment
  • Allowing children to pursue their interests and set their own goals
  • Offering guidance and support without taking over
  • Encouraging reflection on the learning process

As children develop the ability to direct their own learning, they become lifelong learners capable of adapting to new situations, acquiring new skills, and pursuing their passions throughout life.

Last updated:

Review Summary

3.86 out of 5
Average of 1k+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Mind in the Making receives mixed reviews, with an average rating of 3.86/5. Readers appreciate the research-based approach to child development and practical parenting tips. Many find the seven skills framework helpful, though some criticize the writing style as dry or repetitive. Parents and educators value the insights into fostering essential life skills in children. Critics note that some advice is common sense, and the book may be dense for busy parents. Overall, it's considered a comprehensive resource for understanding child development and promoting learning.

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About the Author

Ellen Galinsky is a prominent figure in work-family research and child development. As president and cofounder of the Families and Work Institute, she has authored over 40 books and reports on parenting and workforce issues. Galinsky's background includes 25 years at Bank Street College of Education and a master's degree in child development. She has received numerous awards and honors, including being elected a fellow of the National Academy of Human Resources. A frequent media contributor and keynote speaker, Galinsky has presented at White House conferences and is recognized for her influential work in early childhood education.

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