Next-Level Negotiating

1. Recognize and seize everyday negotiation opportunities

"Focusing on mutual dependence draws your attention toward inquiry and exploration, advancing the conversation from: 'How much can I get out of this deal above my best alternative?' to 'In how many ways can I demonstrate my company's value to this person based on their need(s)?'"

Negotiation is ubiquitous. It occurs in various aspects of our personal and professional lives, from discussing household chores to securing business deals. Many people, especially women, often overlook these opportunities due to fear, lack of confidence, or simply not recognizing them as negotiable situations.

To identify negotiation opportunities, ask yourself:

• Is this situation fair?
• Do I deserve a better outcome?
• Am I feeling uneasy about the current offer?
• Would a more confident version of myself make a request?

By recognizing these moments, you can practice and improve your negotiation skills in low-stakes situations, building confidence for more significant negotiations in the future.

2. Prepare thoroughly to boost confidence and effectiveness

"Preparation is the key to success in any negotiation, and a virtual setting is no different in that respect."

Knowledge is power. Thorough preparation is crucial for successful negotiations. It involves researching the other party, understanding their interests and constraints, and anticipating potential objections or challenges.

Key preparation steps:

• Gather relevant data and market information
• Identify your goals and priorities
• Determine your BATNA (Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement)
• Practice through role-playing or visualization exercises
• Prepare responses to potential objections or difficult questions

By investing time in preparation, you increase your confidence, reduce anxiety, and improve your ability to think on your feet during the negotiation process.

3. Balance assertiveness with communal approach for women

"Women may suffer on both accounts—issues and relationships—because focusing on their own needs causes others to view them as bossy and aggressive."

Strategic framing is crucial. Women often face a double bind in negotiations: being too assertive can lead to backlash, while being too accommodating can result in suboptimal outcomes. To overcome this challenge, women should adopt a balanced approach that combines assertiveness with a communal mindset.

Strategies for balancing assertiveness and communality:

• Frame requests in terms of mutual benefits
• Use "we" language to emphasize collaboration
• Demonstrate concern for others' perspectives
• Negotiate on behalf of a group or team when possible
• Provide context for why your request is legitimate and fair

By adopting this approach, women can advocate for themselves effectively while minimizing the risk of negative social consequences.

4. Manage emotions strategically during negotiations

"Emotions are natural during difficult conversations, but they don't have to sabotage you."

Emotional intelligence is key. Negotiations can trigger various emotions, such as anxiety, anger, or disappointment. While these feelings are natural, they can significantly impact the negotiation process and outcomes. Learning to manage and strategically use emotions is crucial for successful negotiations.

Techniques for emotional management:

• Practice mindfulness to increase self-awareness
• Use reappraisal techniques to reframe negative emotions
• Take breaks when emotions run high
• Leverage positive emotions to foster creativity and collaboration
• Recognize and respond to the emotions of your counterpart

By developing emotional intelligence and employing these techniques, negotiators can maintain composure, make better decisions, and create a more positive negotiation environment.

5. Adapt negotiation tactics for virtual settings

"There's no substitute for the richness of negotiating in a face-to-face environment. But digital communication tools and media can make negotiations more efficient and can help us to stay connected—provided that we understand how to put them to best use."

Virtual negotiations require unique strategies. With the increasing prevalence of remote work and digital communication, negotiators must adapt their tactics for virtual settings. While virtual negotiations present challenges, they also offer opportunities for increased efficiency and flexibility.

Tips for effective virtual negotiations:

• Use video whenever possible to enhance nonverbal communication
• Establish clear ground rules and expectations at the outset
• Be mindful of potential technical issues and have backup plans
• Leverage digital tools for real-time collaboration and information sharing
• Pay extra attention to building rapport and trust in the absence of face-to-face interaction

By mastering these virtual negotiation skills, professionals can navigate the digital landscape effectively and achieve successful outcomes regardless of the medium.

6. Focus on mutual dependence, not just alternatives

"Mutual dependence is determined by the sum or the average of Party A's dependence on Party B, and Party B's dependence on Party A. The connection between mutual dependence and power is direct, and it exists in every negotiation."

Interdependence creates value. While understanding your BATNA is important, focusing solely on alternatives can limit the potential for creative solutions and mutual gains. By shifting attention to mutual dependence, negotiators can uncover shared interests and develop more innovative agreements.

Strategies for leveraging mutual dependence:

• Explore the other party's needs and constraints
• Identify areas of overlapping interests
• Seek opportunities for value creation through collaboration
• Frame proposals in terms of joint problem-solving
• Emphasize long-term relationships over short-term gains

By adopting this perspective, negotiators can move beyond positional bargaining and create agreements that satisfy both parties' interests more effectively.

7. Negotiate for career advancement beyond just salary

"Career negotiations fall into three buckets. In asking negotiations, you propose something that's standard for someone in your role or at your level. In bending negotiations, you request a personal exception or an unusual arrangement that runs counter to typical organizational practice or norms. And in shaping negotiations, you propose ways to play a role in changing your organizational environment or creating a new initiative."

Career development is multifaceted. While salary negotiations are important, professionals should broaden their focus to include other aspects of career advancement, such as role responsibilities, development opportunities, and work-life balance.

Areas to consider in career negotiations:

• Job title and responsibilities
• Professional development and training opportunities
• Flexible work arrangements
• Performance metrics and evaluation criteria
• Mentorship or sponsorship programs

By negotiating these various aspects of their careers, professionals can create more fulfilling and sustainable professional trajectories that align with their long-term goals and values.

8. Overcome unique challenges faced by women of color

"Negotiating should be seen as a tool to overcome barriers and solve problems; however, many WOC view it as a privilege and often overlook the leverage they have available to them."

Intersectionality matters. Women of color face unique challenges in negotiations due to intersecting gender and racial biases. They often struggle with stereotypes, invisibility, and expectations to conform or be grateful for what they have.

Strategies for women of color in negotiations:

• Recognize and leverage your unique value and perspective
• Build coalitions and seek allies within the organization
• Frame requests in terms of organizational benefits
• Be prepared to negotiate for role clarity and resources
• Consider "negotiating to negotiate" to create space for important conversations

By acknowledging these challenges and employing targeted strategies, women of color can advocate for themselves more effectively and create positive change within their organizations.

9. Reframe stress as excitement to enhance performance

"Shifting your mindset from 'stress is depleting' to 'stress is enhancing' actually changes the way your body responds to it."

Mindset matters. The way we perceive stress can significantly impact our performance in high-pressure situations, including negotiations. By reframing stress as excitement, negotiators can harness their body's physiological responses to enhance their performance rather than being hindered by anxiety.

Techniques for reframing stress:

• Use positive self-talk (e.g., "I'm excited" instead of "I'm nervous")
• Focus on the opportunities presented by the challenge
• Visualize success and positive outcomes
• Practice deep breathing and relaxation techniques
• Develop pre-performance routines to channel nervous energy

By adopting this mindset shift, negotiators can approach high-stakes situations with more confidence, creativity, and resilience.

10. Create win-win situations through two-way commitments

"The idea is to first communicate the value you are going to bring to your boss and to your organization, and then discuss what you hope your employer will do for you in exchange."

Mutual benefit is the goal. Successful negotiations often result in win-win outcomes where both parties feel satisfied with the agreement. By focusing on creating two-way commitments, negotiators can increase the likelihood of reaching mutually beneficial solutions.

Steps to create two-way commitments:

1. Clearly articulate the value you bring to the table
2. Understand the other party's needs and constraints
3. Propose solutions that address both parties' interests
4. Be willing to make concessions in exchange for valuable gains
5. Emphasize long-term relationships and future collaboration

By adopting this approach, negotiators can build stronger, more sustainable agreements that foster trust and goodwill between parties.

Last updated: August 3, 2024