Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts

1. Unwanted intrusive thoughts are common and do not reflect your character

Good people have awful thoughts. Violent thoughts come from gentle people. Crazy thoughts occur for people who are not the least bit crazy.

Prevalence and normality. Unwanted intrusive thoughts are experienced by up to 90% of people at some point in their lives. These thoughts can be violent, sexual, blasphemous, or nonsensical in nature. They often feel alien and disturbing to the thinker, causing significant distress.

Content vs. character. The content of intrusive thoughts does not reflect a person's true desires, intentions, or character. In fact, people are usually most disturbed by thoughts that contradict their values and self-image. For example, a gentle person may have violent intrusive thoughts, while a devoutly religious individual might experience blasphemous thoughts.

Misinterpretation trap. The real problem lies not in having these thoughts, but in misinterpreting their significance. When people believe these thoughts reveal something meaningful about themselves, they become more anxious and preoccupied with them, creating a cycle of distress.

2. The brain's alarm system can misfire, causing false danger signals

The amygdala learns to be fearful very easily, since its purpose is to protect you.

Amygdala's role. The amygdala, a part of the brain responsible for detecting threats, can become overly sensitive and trigger false alarms. This results in the "fight, flight, or freeze" response to harmless thoughts or situations.

Conditioned fear response. Through various experiences and associations, the brain can learn to react fearfully to certain thoughts or stimuli that pose no real danger. This conditioned response happens automatically and rapidly, often before the rational part of the brain can evaluate the situation.

Anxious thinking state. When the amygdala triggers the alarm response, it creates an altered state of consciousness called "anxious thinking." This state can cause:

• Thought-action fusion (feeling that thinking something makes it more likely to happen)
• Heightened perception of risk
• Increased thought "stickiness"
• Intolerance of uncertainty

3. Struggling with intrusive thoughts makes them more persistent

What you resist persists.

Paradoxical effect. Attempts to suppress, control, or eliminate unwanted thoughts often have the opposite effect, making them more frequent and intense. This phenomenon is known as the "ironic process" or "white bear effect."

Entanglement and effort. Two factors contribute to the persistence of intrusive thoughts:

1. Entanglement: Becoming overly focused on the content of the thought and its perceived meaning
2. Paradoxical effort: Putting energy into trying to control or eliminate the thoughts

Ineffective strategies. Common but counterproductive approaches include:

• Thought suppression
• Reassurance seeking
• Distraction
• Avoidance
• Ritualized prayer or positive affirmations

These strategies may provide temporary relief but ultimately reinforce the cycle of intrusive thoughts.

4. Acceptance is key to reducing the power of unwanted thoughts

Accept and allow means that you are actively allowing the thoughts to be there, not wishing they were gone, because this attitude helps you grasp that the thoughts are unimportant.

Changing the relationship. Acceptance involves changing your relationship with intrusive thoughts rather than trying to eliminate them. This means allowing thoughts to be present without engaging with them or trying to push them away.

Reducing emotional impact. By accepting thoughts as mental events rather than threats or meaningful messages, you can reduce their emotional impact and the distress they cause. This approach helps break the cycle of fear and avoidance that maintains intrusive thoughts.

Practical steps for acceptance:

1. Recognize and label intrusive thoughts
2. Remind yourself that they are "just thoughts"
3. Allow thoughts and feelings to be present without judgment
4. Observe thoughts and emotions from a detached perspective
5. Let time pass without urgency
6. Continue with normal activities despite the presence of intrusive thoughts

5. Exposure therapy helps rewire the brain's response to intrusive thoughts

Exposure is the active therapeutic ingredient for overcoming anxiety.

Deliberate provocation. Exposure therapy involves intentionally triggering unwanted thoughts and staying with the associated discomfort. This process helps the brain learn that these thoughts are not actually dangerous.

Brain rewiring mechanisms. Two theories explain how exposure therapy works:

1. Emotional processing: Correcting false fearful memory structures in the brain
2. Inhibitory learning: Creating new, non-fearful pathways that compete with old, fearful ones

Effective practice guidelines:

• Go at your own pace, finding a manageable but challenging level of exposure
• Focus on the most disturbing thoughts
• Use creative methods to engage with thoughts (e.g., singing, writing, drawing)
• Avoid getting caught up in the content of thoughts
• Practice regularly in various situations

6. Mindfulness and detachment from thought content aid recovery

Wise Mind demonstrates mindful compassionate awareness.

Observing without judgment. Mindfulness involves observing thoughts and feelings without judgment or evaluation. This stance allows for a more objective perspective on intrusive thoughts.

Three mental voices. The book introduces three internal voices to illustrate different mental states:

1. Worried Voice: Represents fearful, anxious thinking
2. False Comfort: Attempts to reassure but often reinforces anxiety
3. Wise Mind: Embodies calm, detached observation and acceptance

Shifting perspective. Cultivating Wise Mind helps create distance from intrusive thoughts and reduces their power. Techniques for accessing Wise Mind include:

• Focusing on present-moment sensory experiences
• Using metaphors to illustrate the nature of thoughts (e.g., leaves floating on a stream)
• Labeling thoughts as mental events rather than facts
• Practicing self-compassion and gentle redirection of attention

7. Recovery means changing your relationship with thoughts, not eliminating them

Recovery occurs when it no longer matters whether the thoughts happen or not.

Redefining success. True recovery is not about eliminating intrusive thoughts entirely, but about changing how you relate to them. The goal is to reach a point where these thoughts no longer cause significant distress or interfere with daily life.

Ongoing process. Recovery is an ongoing process rather than a fixed endpoint. It involves:

• Continued practice of acceptance and mindfulness skills
• Recognizing that occasional intrusive thoughts are normal
• Maintaining a non-reactive stance toward thoughts
• Focusing on living a meaningful life rather than controlling thoughts

Signs of recovery:

• Reduced anticipatory anxiety about intrusive thoughts
• Decreased overall sensitization and arousal
• Ability to experience intrusive thoughts without significant emotional reaction
• Increased focus on present-moment experiences and valued activities
• Greater tolerance for uncertainty and discomfort

Last updated: January 24, 2025