Dare

1. Anxiety is not a monster: It's a misguided protection mechanism

Anxiety is not a monster out to get you. I know it feels like that most of the time, but it isn't.

Anxiety is normal. Anxiety is a natural response to stress, designed to protect us from potential threats. However, in some cases, this protective mechanism becomes overactive, leading to excessive worry and fear. Understanding that anxiety is not inherently harmful is the first step towards managing it effectively.

Physiological response. When we experience anxiety, our body's fight-or-flight response is activated, releasing stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. This can cause physical symptoms such as:

• Rapid heartbeat
• Shortness of breath
• Sweating
• Trembling
• Nausea

Recognizing these symptoms as natural bodily responses rather than signs of danger can help reduce the fear associated with anxiety.

2. The DARE Response: A powerful tool to break free from anxiety

The DARE Response is not about getting rid of the anxiety; it's about getting rid of your fear of the anxiety.

Four-step approach. The DARE Response is a simple yet effective method for managing anxiety:

1. Defuse
2. Allow
3. Run toward
4. Engage

This approach aims to change your relationship with anxiety, transforming it from a threat to a manageable experience. By implementing these steps, you can gradually reduce the impact of anxiety on your life and regain control.

Shift in perspective. The DARE Response encourages a fundamental shift in how you perceive and interact with anxiety. Instead of trying to eliminate anxiety, which often leads to more distress, this approach teaches you to coexist with it. This perspective allows you to live your life fully, even in the presence of anxious feelings.

3. Defuse anxious thoughts with a dismissive attitude

A good response to a "what if" is: "So what!"

Challenge negative thoughts. When anxious thoughts arise, it's crucial to challenge them immediately. Instead of getting caught up in the "what if" scenarios, respond with a dismissive attitude. This helps to defuse the power of these thoughts and prevent them from escalating into full-blown anxiety.

Examples of defusing responses:

• "What if I have a panic attack?" - "So what? I've survived them before."
• "What if I embarrass myself?" - "Whatever, people will forget about it soon enough."
• "What if something terrible happens?" - "I'll deal with it if it does, but right now, I'm fine."

By consistently responding to anxious thoughts in this manner, you can gradually reduce their impact and frequency.

4. Allow and accept anxiety to be present without resistance

I accept and allow this anxious feeling.

Embrace discomfort. Allowing anxiety to be present without trying to fight or suppress it is a crucial step in overcoming it. This acceptance doesn't mean you like the anxiety or want it to stay, but rather that you're willing to coexist with it temporarily.

Paradoxical effect. Counterintuitively, accepting anxiety often leads to its reduction. When you stop resisting and allow the anxious feelings to be present, they often lose their intensity and power over you. This approach helps to break the cycle of anxiety, where resistance and fear of anxiety fuel more anxiety.

Mindfulness practice. Cultivate a mindful awareness of your anxious thoughts and feelings without judgment. Observe them as if you were watching clouds pass in the sky, acknowledging their presence without attaching to them or trying to push them away.

5. Run toward your fears by demanding more anxiety

Bring it on. Demand to have a full-blown panic attack!

Paradoxical intention. Running toward your fears by actively seeking out more anxiety may seem counterintuitive, but it's a powerful technique for overcoming them. By demanding more anxiety, you're calling its bluff and demonstrating to yourself that you can handle it.

Empowerment through action. This approach shifts you from a passive victim of anxiety to an active participant in your recovery. It helps to:

• Build confidence in your ability to cope with anxiety
• Reduce the fear of anxiety itself
• Demonstrate that anxiety cannot harm you

Practice scenarios:

• If you're afraid of having a panic attack, challenge yourself to have one on purpose
• If you fear social situations, deliberately put yourself in more challenging social settings
• If you're anxious about physical sensations, intensify them intentionally

6. Engage with the present moment to keep your anxious mind occupied

Engage your mind with an activity in the present moment that engages you fully.

Redirect attention. Engaging in activities that require your full attention helps to break the cycle of anxious thoughts. By focusing on the present moment, you give your mind less opportunity to dwell on worries about the future or ruminate on past events.

Mindful activities:

• Practice deep breathing exercises
• Engage in physical exercise or sports
• Immerse yourself in a hobby or creative pursuit
• Solve puzzles or play strategy games
• Have meaningful conversations with others

Break the anxiety loop. Consistent engagement in present-focused activities helps to retrain your brain, making it less prone to anxious thinking patterns over time. This practice complements the other steps of the DARE Response by providing a positive alternative to anxiety-driven behaviors.

7. Face your fears gradually to expand your comfort zone

Real growth and learning happen when we challenge ourselves, when we feel the anxiety and push beyond our comfort levels.

Gradual exposure. Facing your fears is essential for overcoming anxiety, but it's important to do so gradually. Start with small challenges and progressively work your way up to more difficult situations. This approach helps build confidence and resilience over time.

Create a fear ladder:

1. Identify situations that trigger anxiety
2. Rank them from least to most anxiety-provoking
3. Start with the easiest challenge and work your way up
4. Use the DARE Response as you face each situation
5. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small

Persistence is key. Remember that setbacks are a normal part of the recovery process. Keep pushing forward, even if you experience temporary increases in anxiety. Each time you face your fears, you're building the neural pathways necessary for long-term change.

8. Transform anxiety from a curse into a catalyst for personal growth

You really can find meaning in this suffering by determining your own response to anxiety.

Reframe your perspective. Instead of viewing anxiety as a burden, consider it an opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery. This shift in mindset can help you approach your anxiety with curiosity and openness rather than fear and resistance.

Potential benefits of anxiety:

• Increased self-awareness
• Development of coping skills
• Enhanced empathy for others
• Greater resilience in face of challenges
• Motivation for personal improvement

Find meaning in the struggle. Reflect on how your experiences with anxiety have shaped you and what you've learned from them. Consider how you can use this knowledge to help others or contribute to your personal and professional growth.

9. Practice self-compassion and forgiveness to accelerate healing

I forgive you for having anxiety.

Self-compassion is crucial. Many people with anxiety are extremely self-critical, which can exacerbate their symptoms. Practicing self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a good friend.

Elements of self-compassion:

• Acknowledge your suffering without judgment
• Recognize that everyone struggles at times
• Offer yourself words of comfort and encouragement
• Practice self-care and prioritize your well-being

Forgiveness exercise. Regularly practice forgiving yourself for having anxiety and for any perceived shortcomings related to it. This can help release feelings of guilt and shame that often accompany anxiety disorders.

10. Supercharge recovery through lifestyle changes and self-care

There is no quicker way to significantly reduce general anxiety than drinking fresh water.

Holistic approach. While the DARE Response is a powerful tool, combining it with lifestyle changes can significantly accelerate your recovery from anxiety.

Key lifestyle factors:

• Hydration: Drink at least 8 glasses of water daily
• Diet: Reduce caffeine, alcohol, and sugar intake
• Exercise: Engage in regular physical activity
• Sleep: Prioritize good sleep hygiene
• Supplements: Consider magnesium and calcium supplements (consult with a doctor first)
• Mindfulness: Practice meditation or other mindfulness techniques

Consistency is key. Implement these changes gradually and consistently for the best results. Remember that recovery is a process, and small, sustainable changes can lead to significant improvements over time.

Last updated: January 24, 2025