Possessive Puckboy

1. Revenge's Empty Promise

So while I’m buying this team first and foremost for Dad, to honor his memory and try to keep some kind of connection to him, I can’t deny that having Connor Kikishkin’s career in my hands holds a certain appeal.

A Billionaire's Burden. Parker Duchene, a 26-year-old billionaire, finds his life unraveling after selling his company, losing his father, and being left by his boyfriend. Despite immense wealth, he feels stranded and alone, lacking purpose. His solution? Buying the Colorado hockey team, partly to honor his late father's legacy as a former player, but also driven by a deep-seated desire for revenge against his high school tormentor, Connor Kikishkin, who now plays for the team.

The Douche's Return. Parker vividly remembers Connor, the popular hockey captain, who nicknamed him "Douche" and contributed to his four years of relentless bullying and social isolation. He envisions stepping into his high school reunion, triumphant, showing them how far he's come. Now, as the team's new owner, Parker holds Connor's career in his hands, a prospect that initially offers a twisted sense of satisfaction.

Hollow Victory. Parker's plan to make Connor's life a "living hell" by pretending not to remember him and subtly asserting his power quickly proves unsatisfying. He realizes that revenge, even when within his grasp, doesn't fill the void left by his personal losses or the deep loneliness he experiences. The bitterness he clings to only makes his own life worse, prompting a reevaluation of his motives and actions.

2. Unmasking the Bully

I’m an overbearing, overprotective asshole, and it’s no wonder more people don’t resent me.

A King's Regret. Connor Kikishkin, the once-revered high school hockey captain, is now confronted by his past as Parker Duchene, the "Douche" he tormented, becomes his team's new owner. Connor is stunned when Parker pretends not to know him, a move that only confirms Parker's lingering bitterness. This encounter forces Connor to reflect on his past actions, acknowledging his role in Parker's suffering, even if indirectly.

Beneath the Surface. Connor's life, too, is a "hot fucking mess." His overbearing protectiveness of his younger brothers, Easton and Lachie, and best friend, Knox, has strained their relationships, particularly with Easton, who even requested a trade to escape him. Connor realizes his identity as the family protector has come at a cost, leaving him feeling lost and questioning who he is outside of hockey and his self-imposed responsibilities.

A Shared Vulnerability. At a bullying charity event, Connor, fueled by alcohol and guilt, attempts a half-hearted apology to Parker. Parker, however, sees through it, pushing Connor to confront the true impact of his past. In a raw exchange, Connor admits his deep-seated insecurities and feelings of worthlessness, revealing a vulnerability that surprises Parker and begins to chip away at his desire for revenge.

3. An Unexpected Connection

I’m not sure what look crosses my face, but it makes Knox laugh. All I know is that if this image of Connor erases all the others I have of him, I won’t be in danger of ever finding the guy intimidating again.

Empathy's Dawn. Witnessing Connor's drunken vulnerability at the charity event, Parker's desire for revenge wanes. He sees Connor not as a one-dimensional bully, but as a complex individual grappling with his own pain and identity crisis. This shift in perspective leads Parker to cover for Connor's drunken state, protecting him from Coach Macklin's wrath, a surprising act of kindness that marks a turning point in their dynamic.

A Confidant's Role. Parker, despite his initial reluctance, finds himself becoming Connor's unexpected confidant. Connor, feeling isolated from his brothers and best friend due to their own relationship and his past overbearing behavior, confides in Parker about his existential crisis. He questions everything: his love for hockey, his identity, and even his sexuality, admitting he feels "lost."

The First Kiss. The emotional intimacy deepens, culminating in a spontaneous kiss initiated by Connor. This act, born from a confusing mix of emotions and a desire to stop Parker from hooking up with someone else, shocks both men. For Parker, it's the realization of a long-held, unrequited crush. For Connor, it's a bewildering step into exploring a side of himself he never knew existed, leaving him questioning everything he thought he knew about his sexuality.

4. Identity in Flux

Maybe you’re not into women at all?

A Seed of Doubt. Parker's casual suggestion that Connor "might not be into women at all" plants a profound seed of doubt in Connor's mind. Despite always assuming he was straight, this comment, coupled with his unexpected attraction to Parker, forces him to re-evaluate his sexuality. He realizes his past overprotectiveness of Easton's queer identity might have inadvertently suppressed his own self-discovery.

Unpacking the Past. Connor reflects on his life, realizing many of his choices were driven by external expectations rather than genuine desire. He questions:

• His love for hockey, wondering if it was merely a parental expectation.
• His perceived confidence, realizing it was a mask for deep insecurity.
• His commitment-phobia, wondering if it stemmed from a lack of time or a deeper, unacknowledged preference.

A New Path. This profound self-reflection leads Connor to embrace the idea of "starting over" and figuring out who he truly is. He decides to lean into his connection with Parker, seeing it as an opportunity for genuine self-awareness, even if it means confronting uncomfortable truths about his past actions and repressed desires.

5. The Power of Support

I want to be your partner, Connor, not some guy who you talk to once you’ve already made a decision.

Vulnerability and Trust. Parker, despite his own insecurities and past trauma, steps up as Connor's unwavering support system. He encourages Connor to be vulnerable, to confide in him, and to trust that their connection is genuine, not just an "experimental phase." Parker's willingness to be open about his own struggles, including his grief over his father and his past relationship issues, fosters a deep sense of trust between them.

Beyond the Physical. Their relationship quickly moves beyond mere physical attraction. Parker helps Connor navigate his confusion, offering a safe space for exploration without judgment. He challenges Connor's self-deprecating thoughts, reminding him that his desire to be a good person is what truly defines him, not his past mistakes. This emotional intimacy becomes as crucial as their physical connection.

A New Dynamic. Parker's acceptance of Connor's "possessive" tendencies, reframing them as potentially "hot" under the right circumstances, further solidifies their bond. This validation allows Connor to see aspects of himself he once deemed toxic in a new light, fostering a sense of acceptance and self-worth he'd never experienced before.

6. Hockey's Fading Luster

I don’t give a shit about winning a Stanley Cup.

A Crushing Realization. While Parker is consumed by his new software project, hoping it will help the team win the Stanley Cup for his late father, Connor has a profound realization: he no longer cares about hockey. This shocking truth, bigger than his sexual identity, hits him hard. He recognizes that his entire career has been driven by external expectations and a sense of responsibility to his family, not genuine passion.

The Weight of Expectation. Parker's enthusiastic declaration, "You're gonna win me that Cup, Connor. For Dad," inadvertently places immense pressure on Connor. This expectation clashes directly with Connor's newfound desire to quit the sport, creating an internal conflict that mirrors his past struggles with overbearing responsibility. He feels trapped, unable to voice his true feelings without disappointing Parker.

Sabotage Mode. Faced with the dilemma of fulfilling Parker's wish or pursuing his own happiness, Connor's frustration boils over. During a Pride night game, he plays with reckless abandon, culminating in a fight and ejection. This self-sabotaging behavior is a desperate attempt to escape the expectations of hockey and the pressure to be someone he no longer wants to be.

7. Prioritizing Happiness

It’s lucky I have an entire team out there who all want the same thing I do.

The Truth Revealed. After his ejection, Connor finally confesses to Parker and Knox: he wants to quit hockey. He explains that his love for the game was an illusion, a product of expectation and responsibility. This revelation, though shocking, is met with understanding and support from Parker, who, despite his own desire for a Stanley Cup, prioritizes Connor's well-being.

Unconditional Support. Parker, realizing his own role in adding pressure, apologizes for his "win the Cup for Dad" comment. He assures Connor that his happiness matters more than any trophy. This unconditional support is a stark contrast to Connor's past experiences, where his worth was often tied to his performance and adherence to expectations.

A New Path Forward. Parker actively helps Connor navigate his exit from the NHL, even suggesting a strategic "injury" to free up his contract. This selfless act solidifies their bond, demonstrating Parker's commitment to Connor's happiness above all else. Connor, in turn, feels an overwhelming sense of love and gratitude, realizing he's found a partner who truly sees and supports his authentic self.

8. Embracing Authenticity

I don’t want you to do this for me. I want you to do it for yourself.

A New Purpose. With his decision to leave hockey, Connor begins to envision a new purpose for his life: public speaking. He plans to share his story, focusing on how he, as a former "sideline bully," learned the importance of speaking up against injustice and embracing authenticity. This new path is a direct result of his journey of self-discovery and his relationship with Parker.

Healing the Past. Connor's desire to speak about bullying, particularly his own role in Parker's high school experience, is a powerful step towards healing. He acknowledges his past mistakes, not to dwell on guilt, but to inspire positive change in others. This commitment to personal growth and social impact is a testament to the profound transformation he has undergone.

Beyond the Game. Connor's decision to step away from hockey, a sport that defined him for so long, signifies his full embrace of his authentic self. He prioritizes his mental well-being, his relationship with Parker, and his newfound purpose over the pressures and expectations of professional sports. This courageous choice allows him to finally live a life true to himself.

9. Building a Shared Future

Me, Connor, and our little rat baby.

A Home Together. Connor decides to sell his large, empty house—a symbol of his past life driven by expectation—and move in with Parker. This significant step solidifies their commitment, creating a shared home filled with affection, understanding, and their quirky pet rat, Conishkin. Their domestic bliss, though private, becomes the foundation of their happiness.

A Secret Love. Despite their deep connection, Parker and Connor agree to keep their relationship a secret due to the power imbalance (Parker as team owner, Connor as a former player) and the potential public scrutiny. They navigate this challenge with trust and open communication, prioritizing their bond over external validation. Connor's family and close friends are aware, offering a supportive inner circle.

Happiness Found. Parker, once consumed by loneliness and a desire for revenge, finds profound happiness in his relationship with Connor. He embraces his role as a supportive partner, a tech innovator for the team, and a "friend" to the Queer Collective. Connor, having shed the weight of expectations, is finally free to be his authentic self, pursuing a meaningful path outside of hockey. Their journey, though unconventional, leads them to a fulfilling and loving partnership.

Last updated: August 20, 2025