Key Takeaways
1. Timing and Readiness: Don't Wait Too Long
As I have said before, the earlier you train, the easier it is for everyone involved.
Look for signs. While developmental readiness is key, don't wait indefinitely for your child to express interest. Children over two and a half are likely ready, and by three, they definitely are. Waiting too long can introduce behavioral resistance and make the transition harder, especially with pooping on the potty.
Key readiness indicators:
- Tells you they need/want a change when wet/dirty.
- Can stay dry for up to two hours.
- Has regular, soft bowel movements.
- Can follow simple directions.
- Shows interest in the bathroom.
Earlier is often easier. Children trained younger may adapt more quickly as they have less time spent in diapers to "unlearn." While elimination communication is for babies, structured training is effective for toddlers showing several readiness signs. Don't let fear of difficulty delay you; it often gets harder, not easier, with age.
2. Parent's Mindset: You Are the Boss
You are the boss, not your child.
Take command. Potty training is a skill you teach, not something your child decides to do when they feel like it. Toddlers are master manipulators and will test boundaries, especially during new situations like this. Be firm, set clear rules, and stick to them consistently.
Stay calm. Your child feeds off your energy. If you are stressed or frustrated, they will associate those negative feelings with the bathroom, potentially creating fear or resistance. Take deep breaths, remember accidents are part of the process, and maintain a positive, encouraging attitude.
Enjoy the process. This is a significant milestone and a chance for focused bonding time. Celebrate the small wins, be silly, and make it a memorable experience. Your excitement is contagious and will help your child feel more enthusiastic about learning this new skill.
3. Preparation is Crucial: Plan Your Attack
Potty training is going to work only if you put in the effort and follow through until the end.
Commit fully. Choose three consecutive days where you can dedicate your undivided attention to your child. This means no work, no major errands, and minimal distractions like phones or TV. Being fully present is essential for catching accidents and providing immediate redirection.
Gather supplies. Have everything ready beforehand to avoid disruptions. This includes new underwear, a toilet trainer/step stool, treats, stickers/chart, plenty of drinks, easy-to-prepare meals, and cleaning supplies. Being prepared reduces stress and keeps the focus on training.
Set the environment. Designate a training zone close to a bathroom. If you have carpets, consider covering them. Keep activities simple and non-messy. Ensure everyone in the household understands the plan to maintain consistency and avoid confusing the child.
4. Ditch the Diapers: Underwear is Forever
Your child has no diapers anymore.
Make it final. On Day 1, involve your child in collecting all the diapers in the house and symbolically getting rid of them (donating is a great option). This visual act reinforces that diapers are gone and underwear is the new normal. If they ask for a diaper back, remind them what you did with them.
Underwear only. From the moment training begins, your child should be in underwear and a short shirt (so you can see their underwear easily). Avoid pants initially, as they are harder to remove quickly during an accident and hide dampness. This transition helps them feel the wetness immediately.
No going back. Giving in and putting a diaper back on, even for a short time or due to a tantrum, teaches your child that resistance works. Stay firm and consistent. Underwear is the choice now, and you are proud of them for being a big kid.
5. Maximize Practice: Push Fluids & Stay Close
During training days you want to increase the amount of times she needs to go pee so she can practice her new bathroom procedures as many times as possible.
Hydrate heavily. Encourage your child to drink frequently throughout the day, especially in the morning and early afternoon. Offer a variety of appealing drinks (even watered-down juice) to keep them interested. More fluids mean more opportunities to practice going to the bathroom.
Constant supervision. Your eyes must be on your child at all times during the training days. Follow them from room to room. This allows you to catch the subtle body cues that indicate they need to go and, most importantly, catch accidents as they happen.
Frequent reminders. Constantly prompt your child with statements like, "Tell me when you need to go potty." Avoid asking "Do you want to go?" or "Do you need to go?" as these invite a "no." Your goal is to build awareness and communication, not ask permission.
6. Accidents are Learning: Redirect Calmly
accidents are actually necessary learning opportunities for your child!
Catch them mid-stream. The most crucial part is catching an accident as it starts. Immediately pick up your child and rush them to the toilet, saying calmly, "Pee goes in the potty, not on the floor." This connects the sensation of peeing with the correct location.
Teach the procedure. Once on the toilet (even if they stopped peeing), talk them through the steps: pulling down underwear, sitting, trying to go, flushing. Praise them for sitting on the potty, regardless of whether more pee comes out.
Clean and explain. After the bathroom visit, calmly address the accident on the floor. Show them the wet underwear and the mess, explaining that pee belongs in the toilet because the floor is yucky. Avoid anger, shame, or punishment; focus on teaching the correct behavior for next time.
7. Use Immediate Rewards: Motivate Success
Finding the perfect reward is essential to your child’s success with potty training.
Tangible and immediate. Toddlers are motivated by instant gratification. Choose a small, highly desirable treat (like M&M's or Goldfish) that you can give every single time they successfully put pee or poop in the potty during the initial training days.
Couple with praise. Combine the treat with enthusiastic verbal praise and physical recognition (high fives, hugs). Celebrate their success like it's the greatest achievement ever. This positive reinforcement makes the bathroom experience rewarding.
Wean gradually. Continue rewards consistently for at least two weeks. Once the habit is more established, you can gradually phase out the treats, perhaps starting with peeing and continuing longer for pooping. The sticker chart can be phased out first as they lose interest.
8. Learn Body Cues & Speak Potty: Understand Signals
Part of potty training is learning, or recognizing, your child’s body cues.
Observe closely. Children communicate their need to go through body language before they can verbalize it consistently. Watch for signs like fidgeting, grabbing themselves, squatting, hiding, a panicked look, or suddenly stopping play.
Talk about it. Even before training, start talking about wet/dirty diapers and the feeling of being clean. Explain what happens in the bathroom when you use it. Use simple, consistent language for pee and poop.
Connect cues to action. When you see a cue, gently point it out and guide them to the potty. "I see you're grabbing your pants; that tells me you might need to go potty. Let's go try." This helps them connect their body's signals with the need to use the toilet.
9. Introduce the Toilet Correctly: Use a Trainer
A toilet trainer or potty seat is a seat that fits on top of the real toilet and is the easiest and best way to potty train your child.
Use the real toilet. Train your child on the actual toilet from the start using a secure toilet trainer seat and a step stool. This avoids the need to transition later from a potty chair to the big toilet, which can cause fear or resistance.
Make it accessible. Ensure your child can easily get onto the toilet themselves using the step stool. This promotes independence and makes the process less reliant on your physical help.
Avoid potty chairs. Potty chairs encourage going to the bathroom anywhere in the house, require messy cleanup, and can create fear of the loud flush and height of the real toilet. Stick to the toilet trainer for consistency and easier transition to public restrooms.
10. Manage Naps & Nights Separately: Sleeping Underwear
The keys to staying dry at night are an empty bladder and no fluids two hours before bedtime!
Use "sleeping underwear". It's unfair to expect a young child to stay dry all night immediately. Use absorbent nighttime pull-ups, but call them "sleeping underwear" and put them on right before bed and take them off immediately upon waking.
Layer regular underwear. Put regular underwear over the sleeping underwear. This mind trick helps reinforce the association of underwear with staying dry and using the potty.
Empty bladder before sleep. Ensure your child goes to the bathroom right before getting into bed. Limit fluids for two hours before sleep. Staying dry overnight is a developmental milestone that happens when their bladder matures, often later than daytime training.
11. Ensure Consistency: Everyone Follows the Plan
Nothing is more confusing to a toddler than inconsistency.
Align caregivers. Anyone who spends significant time with your child (partner, grandparents, nanny, daycare teachers) must understand and follow the same potty training plan, language, and procedures. Different rules confuse the child and hinder progress.
Communicate the basics. If caregivers can't read the whole book, provide them with the essential rules: don't ask "do you want/need to go?", stay close, redirect accidents calmly, use rewards/praise, and avoid distractions like screens.
Support school staff. Work with your child's school or daycare. Explain your method and ask them to support it as much as possible within their policies. Take your child to the school bathroom upon arrival and before leaving to help them feel comfortable there.
12. Avoid Common Pitfalls: Don't Sabotage Progress
Honestly, this is one of my biggest tricks with potty training.
No screens. Avoid TV and electronic devices during training days. They zone children out, making them less aware of their body's signals and more likely to have accidents you'll miss.
Don't ask "Do you want/need to go?". This is a critical mistake. It gives the child a choice they don't have. Instead, use statements like "Tell me when you need to go potty" or "Soon we will go sit on the potty."
Don't give up early. Potty training takes effort and patience. Don't stop after just a few hours or a day of accidents. Stick to the plan for at least 10 full days before re-evaluating. Accidents are expected; they are not a sign of failure.
Last updated:
FAQ
What is "Potty Training in 3 Days" by Brandi Brucks about?
- Step-by-step potty training: The book provides a structured, three-day plan to help parents transition their child from diapers to using the toilet.
- Focus on parent empowerment: Brandi Brucks emphasizes that parents should take charge of the process, offering confidence and practical advice.
- Behavioral and developmental insights: The book covers readiness signs, common challenges, and how to tailor the approach to different child personalities.
- Comprehensive guidance: It includes preparation steps, troubleshooting, advice for accidents, and tips for involving caregivers and handling sleep times.
Why should I read "Potty Training in 3 Days" by Brandi Brucks?
- Efficient and proven method: The book promises a clear, concise plan that can lead to potty training success in as little as three days.
- Addresses common fears: It helps parents overcome anxiety and confusion about potty training, making the process less stressful.
- Expert-backed advice: Brandi Brucks is an experienced consultant, and the book includes a foreword by a pediatric gastroenterologist, adding credibility.
- Practical, real-world tips: The book is filled with actionable steps, troubleshooting, and real-life examples to guide parents through every stage.
What are the key takeaways from "Potty Training in 3 Days" by Brandi Brucks?
- Parent-led process: Parents should be the leaders, not let the child dictate the process.
- Consistency is crucial: Sticking to the plan for at least 10 days is essential for success.
- Preparation matters: Proper planning, including readiness assessment and gathering supplies, sets the stage for a smoother experience.
- Positive reinforcement: Immediate, tangible rewards and praise are key motivators for children during training.
What are the main steps in Brandi Brucks' 3-day potty training method?
- Before the three days: Assess readiness, prepare your child, gather supplies, and introduce the toilet and rewards.
- During the three days: Ditch diapers, keep your child in underwear, encourage lots of fluids, closely supervise, and respond to accidents with calm redirection.
- After the three days: Continue celebrating successes, involve caregivers, manage naptime/nighttime, handle setbacks, and reinforce good habits.
How do I know if my child is ready for potty training according to Brandi Brucks?
- Developmental readiness: Most children are ready between 2.5 and 3 years old, but signs matter more than age.
- Five readiness signs: Child knows when they need changing, can hold their bladder, has regular/soft bowel movements, follows simple directions, and shows interest in the bathroom.
- Assess at least three signs: If your child meets at least three of the five criteria, they are likely ready to start.
- Consider special circumstances: Children with developmental delays or medical issues may need a different timeline.
What supplies and preparations are recommended in "Potty Training in 3 Days"?
- Essential equipment: Toilet trainer (not a potty chair), step stool, sticker chart, treats, new underwear, and a see-through jar for rewards.
- Household setup: Quarantine an area near the bathroom, remove distractions, and plan for meals and activities in advance.
- Reward system: Choose small, immediate rewards (often food treats) and a sticker chart to motivate your child.
- Caregiver coordination: Ensure all family members and caregivers understand and follow the same plan for consistency.
What are the most common potty training myths debunked by Brandi Brucks?
- Potty chairs everywhere help: Placing little potties around the house confuses children; the bathroom should be the only place for toileting.
- Boys are harder to train: The author finds no significant difference; personality and parenting style matter more.
- Children will tell you when ready: Most children do not initiate potty training on their own; parents should lead.
- Pull-ups aid training: Pull-ups feel like diapers and do not help with the transition to underwear.
- Frequent bathroom trips help: Taking a child every 30 minutes can cause frustration and does not teach them to recognize their own cues.
How does Brandi Brucks recommend handling accidents and setbacks during potty training?
- Stay calm and positive: Never show anger or frustration; treat accidents as learning opportunities.
- Immediate redirection: Scoop up your child mid-accident and bring them to the toilet, reinforcing where pee/poop should go.
- Consistent messaging: Remind your child that peeing in underwear is not a choice and praise them for successes.
- Troubleshoot causes: Identify if accidents are due to distractions, changes in routine, or behavioral issues, and adjust support accordingly.
What role do rewards and praise play in the "Potty Training in 3 Days" method?
- Immediate, tangible rewards: Use small treats (like M&Ms) and stickers every time your child successfully uses the potty.
- Gradual weaning: Continue rewards for at least two weeks, then slowly phase them out as the child becomes consistent.
- Positive reinforcement: Overpraise successes, even small ones, to build confidence and motivation.
- Avoid bribery: Only give rewards for actual potty successes, not for attempts or unrelated behaviors.
How should parents handle naptime and nighttime potty training according to Brandi Brucks?
- Use "sleeping underwear": Nighttime pull-ups are used only for sleep, with regular underwear worn on top to reinforce the new habit.
- Limit fluids before bed: No drinks two hours before bedtime and ensure the child empties their bladder right before sleep.
- Remove pull-ups immediately upon waking: Prevents the child from using them as a diaper after waking.
- Patience for overnight dryness: Staying dry at night may take longer; wait until the child is dry for 5-7 nights before removing sleeping underwear.
What are Brandi Brucks' tips for involving family members and caregivers in potty training?
- Unified approach: All caregivers must follow the same plan and use the same language and procedures.
- Clear communication: Share your child's cues, routines, and the importance of not asking "Do you need to go?" but instead saying "Tell me when you need to go."
- School and public settings: Take your child to the bathroom upon arrival and before leaving, and inform teachers/caregivers of your methods.
- Five key rules for caregivers: No asking if the child needs to go, no leaving the child alone, be present for accidents, give rewards for successes, and never show frustration.
What are the best quotes from "Potty Training in 3 Days" by Brandi Brucks and what do they mean?
- "You are the boss, not your child." – Emphasizes the importance of parent leadership and consistency in the potty training process.
- "Keep calm and carry on! Kids feed off our energy." – Reminds parents that their attitude directly affects their child's experience and success.
- "We fall before we walk, and we pee on the floor before we can pee in the toilet." – Normalizes accidents as part of the learning process.
- "Potty training isn’t a game, and while you can make it so much fun and a memorable experience, you have to let your child know that once we take those diapers away, underwear is the new way of life." – Stresses the need for commitment and not reverting to diapers.
- "If you ask your child, 'Do you need to go potty?' she really can’t answer that honestly, so she will automatically tell you 'no.'" – Highlights the importance of using statements rather than questions to guide children during training.
Review Summary
Potty Training in 3 Days receives mostly positive reviews, with readers appreciating its concise, straightforward approach. Many parents report success using the method, often achieving results within 3-4 days. Criticisms include the author's occasionally judgmental tone and the book's one-size-fits-all approach. Some readers found the advice helpful but noted it may not work for every child. Overall, parents value the book's quick read and clear instructions, making it a popular choice for those seeking potty training guidance.
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