Power Questions - Build Relationships, Win New Business and Influence Others

1. Ask "What do you think?" to empower and engage others

"Many a man would rather you heard his story than granted his request."

Demonstrate genuine interest. By asking "What do you think?", you show that you value the other person's opinion and perspective. This simple question can open up a floodgate of information and create a more engaging, two-way conversation.

Encourage participation and buy-in. When you ask for someone's thoughts, you're inviting them to be an active participant in the discussion or decision-making process. This can lead to:

• Increased engagement and motivation
• Better ideas and solutions through diverse perspectives
• Stronger commitment to the final outcome

Build trust and respect. Consistently asking for and valuing others' opinions helps establish you as a leader who listens and cares about their team. This fosters a culture of open communication and mutual respect.

2. Use "How did you get started?" to build rapport and uncover stories

"Begin at the beginning," the King of Hearts said to Alice, "and go on till you come to the end."

Unlock personal narratives. Asking "How did you get started?" invites people to share their origin stories, which are often filled with passion, challenges, and pivotal moments. This question can reveal:

• Motivations and values
• Formative experiences
• Key turning points in a person's life or career

Create meaningful connections. By showing genuine interest in someone's journey, you establish a deeper level of rapport. People generally enjoy talking about their experiences, and this question allows them to be the expert on their own story.

Gain valuable insights. Understanding how someone got started can provide context for their current situation and future aspirations. This information can be invaluable in:

• Building stronger relationships
• Tailoring your approach in business or personal interactions
• Identifying common ground or shared experiences

3. Employ "Is this the best you can do?" to push for excellence

"If you make it boot 10 seconds faster, you've saved at least a dozen lives."

Challenge assumptions and limits. By asking "Is this the best you can do?", you encourage people to reassess their work and push beyond their perceived limitations. This question can:

• Spark creativity and innovation
• Uncover hidden potential
• Drive continuous improvement

Set high standards. Using this question consistently sends a clear message about the level of quality and effort expected. It can help create a culture of excellence where:

• Mediocrity is not accepted
• People take pride in their work
• Continuous improvement becomes the norm

Provide motivation. When used appropriately, this question can be a powerful motivator. It shows that you believe in the person's capabilities and expect great things from them. However, it's crucial to:

• Use the question sparingly and at the right moments
• Provide support and resources to help achieve higher standards
• Recognize and celebrate when people exceed expectations

4. Ask "What are your dreams?" to deepen relationships

"Dreams are the touchstones of our characters."

Uncover aspirations and values. Asking about someone's dreams provides a window into their deepest desires and what truly matters to them. This can reveal:

• Long-term goals and ambitions
• Core values and beliefs
• Sources of inspiration and motivation

Foster emotional connection. By inviting others to share their dreams, you create a space for vulnerability and authenticity. This can lead to:

• Deeper, more meaningful relationships
• Increased trust and intimacy
• A sense of being truly seen and understood

Inspire action and support. Understanding someone's dreams allows you to:

• Offer encouragement and support
• Help identify opportunities aligned with their goals
• Collaborate on turning dreams into reality

Remember to approach this question with genuine interest and without judgment, as dreams are often deeply personal and tied to one's sense of identity.

5. Use "What did you learn?" to promote reflection and growth

"Follow effective action with quiet reflection. From the quiet reflection will come even more effective action."

Encourage self-analysis. By asking "What did you learn?", you prompt others to pause and reflect on their experiences. This practice can:

• Reinforce key lessons and insights
• Identify areas for improvement
• Increase self-awareness and emotional intelligence

Facilitate knowledge sharing. When people articulate what they've learned, it not only solidifies their own understanding but also allows others to benefit from their experiences. This can lead to:

• Faster organizational learning
• Improved problem-solving skills
• More effective teamwork and collaboration

Create a growth mindset. Consistently asking this question helps foster a culture of continuous learning and improvement. It encourages people to:

• View challenges as opportunities for growth
• Take calculated risks and embrace failure as a learning experience
• Seek out new experiences and knowledge

To maximize the impact of this question, use it regularly after both successes and setbacks, and encourage detailed, honest responses.

6. Ask "Can you tell me more?" to gain deeper insights

"Tell me more" is the magic key to open up the next layer of the other person's thinking and experiences.

Demonstrate active listening. By asking "Can you tell me more?", you show that you're genuinely interested in understanding the other person's perspective. This encourages them to:

• Elaborate on their thoughts and feelings
• Provide additional context and details
• Share insights they might not have initially considered

Uncover hidden information. This simple follow-up question can often reveal crucial details that weren't apparent in the initial response. It can help:

• Identify underlying issues or concerns
• Uncover new opportunities or solutions
• Gain a more comprehensive understanding of complex situations

Build trust and rapport. Consistently asking for more information shows that you value the other person's input and are willing to invest time in understanding them. This can lead to:

• Stronger relationships
• Increased openness and honesty in communication
• More productive and collaborative interactions

To use this question effectively, ask it with genuine curiosity and give the other person ample time to respond. Be prepared to ask additional follow-up questions based on their expanded response.

7. Employ "Why?" to uncover root causes and real motivations

"Problems are like an ice cream cone. If you don't lick them, they cause a mess."

Dig deeper into issues. Asking "Why?" repeatedly can help you get to the root of problems or motivations. This technique, known as the "5 Whys," can:

• Reveal underlying causes of surface-level issues
• Identify patterns or systemic problems
• Lead to more effective, long-term solutions

Challenge assumptions. By questioning why things are done a certain way, you can:

• Uncover outdated or inefficient processes
• Stimulate innovative thinking
• Encourage critical analysis of established norms

Understand true motivations. In personal or professional contexts, asking "Why?" can help you understand the real reasons behind people's actions or decisions. This can lead to:

• Better alignment of goals and expectations
• More effective communication and persuasion
• Improved empathy and understanding

When using this technique, be mindful of your tone to avoid sounding confrontational. Frame your "why" questions in a curious, non-judgmental manner to encourage open and honest responses.

8. Use "What have we decided today?" to drive action and accountability

"Any group can make a list of next steps after a meeting. Decisiveness is rarer. And far more valuable."

Ensure clarity and alignment. By asking "What have we decided today?", you force the group to articulate and agree on specific outcomes. This helps:

• Avoid misunderstandings or conflicting interpretations
• Create a shared sense of purpose and direction
• Set clear expectations for next steps

Drive accountability. When decisions are explicitly stated and agreed upon, it becomes easier to:

• Assign responsibilities for follow-up actions
• Track progress on agreed-upon tasks
• Hold individuals and teams accountable for results

Increase meeting effectiveness. Regularly using this question can improve the overall quality and productivity of meetings by:

• Focusing discussions on actionable outcomes
• Reducing time wasted on circular debates or unresolved issues
• Creating a sense of accomplishment and progress

To maximize the impact of this question, consider:

• Asking it at regular intervals during longer meetings
• Documenting decisions in writing and distributing them to all participants
• Following up on decided actions in subsequent meetings or communications

9. Ask "What's the most important thing we should be discussing?" to focus conversations

"When you're considered part of a client's growth and profits, they will never get enough of you."

Prioritize effectively. By asking this question, you cut through less critical topics and focus on what truly matters. This can:

• Save time and increase productivity
• Ensure that key issues aren't overlooked
• Align discussions with strategic priorities

Uncover hidden concerns. Sometimes, the most important topics aren't on the official agenda. This question can:

• Bring underlying issues to the surface
• Address unspoken concerns or anxieties
• Create space for crucial conversations that might otherwise be avoided

Demonstrate value and relevance. By consistently focusing on what's most important to the other person or group, you:

• Show that you understand and care about their priorities
• Position yourself as a valuable partner or resource
• Increase your influence and impact in the relationship

To use this question effectively:

• Ask it early in the conversation or meeting
• Be prepared to adjust your agenda or approach based on the response
• Follow up with probing questions to fully understand the importance of the identified topic

10. Use Peter Drucker's five questions to clarify purpose and direction

"The highest form of Human Excellence is to question oneself and others."

Gain strategic clarity. Peter Drucker's five questions provide a powerful framework for examining an organization's (or individual's) purpose and direction:

1. What is our mission?
2. Who is our customer?
3. What does the customer value?
4. What are our results?
5. What is our plan?

Align actions with purpose. Regularly revisiting these questions helps:

• Ensure that daily activities support the overall mission
• Identify areas where efforts might be misaligned or wasted
• Make more informed decisions about resource allocation and priorities

Drive continuous improvement. By consistently asking these questions, you create a culture of ongoing reflection and adaptation. This can lead to:

• More agile and responsive organizations
• Better alignment between strategy and execution
• Increased focus on creating value for customers or stakeholders

To maximize the impact of Drucker's questions:

• Use them as part of regular strategic planning processes
• Encourage all levels of the organization to engage with these questions
• Revisit and update answers as the external environment changes

Remember that these questions are equally valuable for personal reflection and career planning, not just for organizational strategy.

Last updated: August 8, 2024