Supercoach

1. Your Reality is Created by Thought

The world is what you think it is.

Perception is reality. We don't experience the world directly, but rather our internal representations of it, filtered through our senses and shaped by our thoughts. This means our personal reality is a self-fulfilling prophecy, where our expectations and beliefs determine what we see, hear, and feel, regardless of objective facts. As Shakespeare noted, "there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."

Inside-out creation. Our experience of life is created moment by moment from the inside out, not the outside in. This process involves three principles: Energy (the raw material), Consciousness (the ability to experience), and Thought (the creative force). Our thoughts act like a paintbrush on the canvas of life, and our consciousness allows us to perceive the resulting picture.

Change your thinking. Since our experience is created by our thinking, changing our thinking is the most powerful way to change our lives. Instead of trying to change external circumstances, which often leads to feeling like a victim, recognizing that you are creating your experience from within allows you to reclaim your power as a creator. You can actively "make believe" what you want to be true, gather evidence for it, and act as if it's already real.

2. Well-being is Your Essential Nature

Well-being is not the fruit of something you do; it is the essence of who you are.

Born happy. We are born with innate well-being, peace, and connection, like clear water. Murky water isn't inherently dirty; it just has stuff in it. Similarly, our minds are naturally clear, and our essential nature is well. We don't need to get happiness; we just need to allow the "murk" of our thinking to settle to reconnect with the clarity that's always there.

Persona vs. Essence. We develop a "persona" or mask as a reaction to the world, often driven by a desire for safety and approval. We learn to act in ways we think others want us to be, forgetting our true "essence," which is the diamond underneath the layers of conditioning. Most self-improvement focuses on polishing the mask or digging through perceived flaws, rather than uncovering the inherent worth already present.

Happiness is not a goal. Seeking happiness outside ourselves – in possessions, achievements, or relationships – is futile because it's already within us. Our attempts to control external factors to feel better are misguided. Understanding that well-being is our nature frees up immense energy previously spent chasing external validation and allows us to live from a place of inherent contentment.

3. Focus on Creation, Not Just Goals

There’s nowhere for you to get to—you’re just here.

Beyond acquisition and attraction. Traditional approaches to success often focus on acquisition ("go and get it") or attraction ("like attracts like"). While these can yield results, they often stem from a belief that happiness lies in having or getting something external. A more powerful approach is creation-based thinking, recognizing that the power to create is always within us.

Goals as projects. Instead of seeing goals as distant finish lines tied to our self-worth, view them as projects to engage with in the present. Compulsive goal-setting can be like chasing a bone (happiness/self-worth) you've thrown away from yourself. When you focus on the process of creation itself, success, abundance, and fulfillment become natural outcomes, not elusive targets.

What do you want to create? Shift the question from "What do you want?" (often limited by perceived possibilities) to "What would you love to create?" This taps into your innate artistry. Identify what energizes you and what drains you, and deliberately spend more time creating from a place of passion and desire, rather than obligation or perceived need.

4. Decisions Flow from Inner Clarity

Do you want to?

Decisions vs. consequences. The impact of a decision is less about the choice itself and more about how you handle its consequences. Marrying the "wrong" person is a mistake; staying married and being miserable is a bad decision. When you realize you can almost always change your mind or adapt, the pressure to get it "right" diminishes.

Good brain juice. Effective decisions come from a clear state of mind, or "good brain juice," which is linked to positive feelings. When you're in a low mood, your thinking is distorted, and decisions feel difficult. Trying to force a decision from a place of confusion or fear is counterproductive.

Trust your intuition. Our rational minds often confabulate reasons to justify decisions already made unconsciously. The number of reasons you have for doing something is often inversely proportional to how much you actually want to do it. The simplest guide is your inner knowing: "Do you want to?" If yes, proceed; if no, don't. This doesn't mean ignoring practicalities, but recognizing that genuine desire is a powerful compass.

5. Emotions Are Signals, Not Circumstances

Every emotion you experience is a direct response to a thought, not to the world around you.

Feelings follow thoughts. Your emotions are a direct result of the thoughts you are having in any given moment. They are not caused by external events or other people. This means you don't need to change the world to change how you feel; you just need to understand the nature of thought.

Mood creates your day. Your mood significantly impacts how you perceive and experience your day. A low mood makes the world look bleak, while a high mood makes possibilities seem endless. Trying to "think positive" by force is like trying to stop a train by standing on the tracks; it's more effective to simply not board the negative train of thought.

Feelings as guidance. Your feelings act as a signal about the quality of your thinking.

• Bad feelings (anger, fear, apathy) are a red light: your thinking is unproductive; disengage from it.
• Neutral feelings are a yellow light: proceed with caution; if your mood drops, step back.
• Good feelings (peace, acceptance, courage) are a green light: your thinking is healthy and can lead to positive action.
  Recognizing urgency as a signal to slow down is key to navigating low moods effectively.

6. Embrace the Power of Choice

Everything that you do (or don’t do) is a choice.

No obligations. While it may feel like you "have to" do certain things (go to work, eat, pay bills), every action is ultimately a choice based on what you want (e.g., you choose to go to work because you want to keep your job). Recognizing this reclaims your agency and shifts you from a state of obligation to one of conscious decision-making.

The curse of exceptionality. In a world pushing for exceptionalism, striving to be "above average" can lead to stress and feelings of failure. Embracing the power of having an "average day" – consistently doing a reasonable amount of what matters – leads to extraordinary cumulative results over time without the pressure of constant overachievement.

Discipline of not doing. True discipline isn't just about forcing yourself to do things you don't want to do. A powerful discipline is choosing not to do what you don't want to do, even when external or internal pressure suggests otherwise. This requires trusting your inner knowing over external expectations and frees up energy to focus on what you genuinely love and want to create.

7. Listening Shapes Your Relationships

We create other people by how we listen to them.

Internal representations. Our relationships exist primarily in our minds, based on our internal representations of others. We tend to listen for what confirms our existing mental "icon" of a person, filtering out information that doesn't fit. This creates a self-fulfilling prophecy in how we interact.

The four people in a couple. In any relationship, there are four "people": your internal representation of yourself, your internal representation of the other person, the other person's internal representation of themselves, and the other person's internal representation of you. Often, the two internal representations of the other person are the ones causing the most trouble.

Listen to connect. Shift from listening "for" something specific (like confirmation of your biases) to simply listening "to" the other person with full presence. This is the "Second Circle" of connection, where energy flows both ways, fostering intimacy and understanding. Practice "easy listening," allowing words to pass through without getting caught up in your own internal dialogue or agenda.

8. Ask Boldly by Being Okay with "No"

You can ask anyone for anything when you make it okay for them to say “no.”

Fear of disapproval. The primary obstacle to asking for what you want is the fear of disapproval or rejection. We often bundle our self-worth and need for acceptance into our requests, making a "no" feel like a personal indictment rather than a simple statement about the other person's capacity or willingness.

"No" is not personal. A "no" from someone else is almost never about you; it's about their internal state, lack of information, or genuine preference. When you understand this, you can detach your emotional well-being from the outcome of the request.

Cultivate unique equality. Overcome feelings of inferiority or superiority by recognizing the "unique equality" of every person. See others as both distinct individuals and fundamentally "just like you." This perspective fosters ease and connection, making it easier to ask from a place of mutual respect rather than perceived need or dominance. Practice asking for "unreasonable" things to build comfort with potential rejection.

9. Financial Security Comes from Service

Master the art of serving others and you will secure your financial future.

Money as a commodity. Financial insecurity often stems from viewing money as a scarce, magical resource rather than a commodity exchanged for value. Just as you get more wood when you need it for a fire, you can get more money by providing value and service to others.

Security from ability, not amount. True financial security isn't about how much money you have saved; it's about your confidence in your ability to generate more whenever needed. This ability comes from mastering the art of serving others and making a difference in the world.

Employee vs. creator mindset. Thinking like an employee means waiting for opportunities to be given to you. Thinking like a creator means actively identifying needs and creating value for others, then inviting them to exchange money for that value. The more you focus on creating and serving, the more opportunities and wealth will naturally flow to you. Letting go of the need for money paradoxically makes you more effective at creating it.

10. Trust Your Innate Wisdom

The only real voyage of discovery . . . consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.

Inner guidance. You possess an innate wisdom and common sense that is always available to guide you. This wisdom is kind, clear, and often comes in moments of inner quiet. It feels right, even if it doesn't always feel comfortable or align with conventional thinking.

Listen to yourself. Just as you learn to listen to others without getting caught in your own thoughts, practice listening to your own internal dialogue without judgment or attachment. This allows you to discern the voice of wisdom from the noise of habitual, fear-based thinking.

Effortless success. Living from a place of innate well-being and trusting your inner wisdom leads to "effortless success." This isn't about avoiding effort, but about acting from inspiration and clarity, free from mental struggle. It's a journey of discovering what's already within you and allowing it to shape your experience and creations in the world.

Last updated: May 20, 2025