Tantric Love

1. Love is not an emotion, but a state of being

Love is when you have seen that you are not separate from existence.

Love as our essence. Love is an intrinsic quality we are born with, not something that fluctuates or depends on external circumstances. It is a constant, ever-present state of being that resides within us. When we tune into our bodies and hearts, we can always find love vibrating delicately and gently.

Separating love from emotion. Many people confuse love with emotional highs and lows, believing love to be unstable. However, what actually goes up and down are our emotions, not love itself. By recognizing this distinction, we can begin to sustain love instead of experiencing it as something volatile. This realization empowers us to keep love alive as a subtle, vibrant current flowing through our lives.

2. Emotions stem from unexpressed feelings in the past

Emotion is the outcome of not expressing feelings in the past when the feeling was actually happening; not saying what you felt when you felt it.

The origins of emotion. Emotions represent accumulated, unexpressed feelings from our past experiences. When we don't express our feelings in the moment they occur, they get stored in our bodies and psyche, creating an "emotional body" or "pain body." These stored feelings can be triggered by present circumstances, causing us to react disproportionately to current situations.

Recognizing emotional triggers. Emotions often manifest as:

• Sudden disconnection or separation from others
• Difficulty making eye contact
• Blaming others for our unhappiness
• Feeling withdrawn, contracted, or defensive
• Experiencing loneliness, helplessness, or victimhood

By recognizing these indicators, we can start to differentiate between our present feelings and past emotional baggage.

3. Recognizing and expressing emotions is crucial for personal growth

When we allow our withheld feelings there is a 'sweet pain': the pleasure of relief as we let go of tensions and inner pressures we have been carrying for years.

The importance of emotional awareness. Recognizing and expressing our emotions is a vital step towards personal growth and healing. By acknowledging our emotional states, we can begin to process and release stored tensions, leading to greater inner peace and more authentic relationships.

Steps to transform emotions:

1. Recognize when you're emotional
2. Acknowledge it out loud: "I am emotional"
3. Separate yourself physically from others
4. Move your body consciously and intensely
5. Return to your partner or situation when you feel centered

This process allows us to transform old emotional patterns and heal past wounds, creating space for more love and joy in our lives.

4. Conscious communication and body awareness transform relationships

When feelings are expressed, in their purity, you communicate directly heart to heart, and 'touch' the other person.

The power of authentic expression. By learning to express our true feelings in the present moment, we create deeper connections with others. This involves speaking from the heart, using "I feel" statements, and avoiding blame or criticism. When we communicate authentically, we open ourselves to vulnerability and create space for genuine intimacy.

Body awareness as a tool. Cultivating awareness of our physical sensations helps us stay grounded in the present and more attuned to our true feelings. This includes:

• Noticing bodily sensations and tensions
• Using breath to center ourselves
• Engaging in regular physical activity to release stored emotions
• Practicing touch and non-verbal communication with partners

By combining conscious communication with body awareness, we can transform our relationships and create a more harmonious life.

5. Tantric sex reduces emotional volatility and deepens intimacy

When a man and a woman begin to make love consciously and begin to avoid 'emotional' sex, there is an immediate and remarkable shift in the emotional state of the woman.

Tantric approach to sexuality. Tantric sex emphasizes presence, awareness, and love over excitement and orgasm. This approach helps reduce the buildup and discharge of emotional tensions that often occur in conventional sexual encounters. By focusing on love and connection rather than performance or pleasure, couples can experience deeper intimacy and emotional stability.

Benefits of conscious lovemaking:

• Reduced emotional volatility in daily life
• Increased feelings of love, contentment, and serenity
• Greater emotional stability and groundedness
• Enhanced ability to stay present and aware during sexual encounters
• Deeper connection and intimacy between partners

Practicing tantric principles in sexuality can lead to a more fulfilling and emotionally balanced relationship overall.

6. Children thrive in an emotionally aware and loving environment

Love is essential nourishment for a child and ranks alongside real food in significance.

The impact of parental emotions. Children are highly sensitive to the emotional atmosphere created by their parents. When parents are frequently emotional or in conflict, children may develop fear, insecurity, and their own emotional patterns. Conversely, when parents are emotionally aware and loving, children feel safe, relaxed, and better able to connect with their own essence of love.

Creating a nurturing environment:

• Avoid displaying intense emotions in front of children
• Resolve conflicts privately and maintain a loving atmosphere
• Express feelings openly and appropriately
• Teach children to recognize and express their own feelings
• Model emotional responsibility and self-awareness

By creating an emotionally aware and loving home environment, parents can help their children develop healthy emotional patterns and a strong foundation for future relationships.

7. Taking responsibility for emotions leads to personal freedom and sustained love

When we are able to recognize our 'emotional side', and with constructive 'golden rules' to hand, we empower ourselves to live joyfully, where love can be sustained as a subtle, yet vibrant, ever present current flowing through life.

The power of emotional responsibility. By taking responsibility for our emotions and learning to process them consciously, we free ourselves from unconscious patterns that sabotage our relationships and happiness. This empowers us to create a life filled with more love, joy, and authentic connections.

Keys to emotional responsibility:

• Recognize emotional patterns without judgment
• Express feelings as they arise, rather than suppressing them
• Use physical movement to release stored emotions
• Practice self-awareness and mindfulness in daily life
• Cultivate a sense of humor and lightness about ourselves
• Focus on the present moment rather than dwelling on past hurts

As we develop emotional responsibility, we create the foundation for sustained love and personal freedom, allowing us to live more fully and joyfully in the present moment.

Last updated: August 11, 2024