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Slow Sex

Slow Sex

The Path to Fulfilling and Sustainable Sexuality
by Diana Richardson 2011 176 pages
3.63
100+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Slow Sex: A Paradigm Shift in Sexual Consciousness

"Sex has a higher potential—sex is able to carry us beyond duality into a spiritual unity that brings us closer to ourselves, the other, nature, and God."

A revolutionary approach. Slow sex represents a fundamental shift in how we approach sexuality, moving away from goal-oriented, orgasm-focused encounters towards a more conscious, present, and spiritually fulfilling practice. This paradigm shift emphasizes:

  • Quality over quantity
  • Presence over performance
  • Connection over climax

By slowing down and bringing awareness to each moment, couples can tap into deeper levels of intimacy, pleasure, and spiritual connection. This approach transforms sex from a mere physical act into a holistic experience that nourishes body, mind, and soul.

2. The Power of Relaxation in Sexual Experience

"Relaxation is vital for the sexual metabolism."

Letting go of tension. Relaxation is foundational to the slow sex practice, allowing for increased sensitivity and deeper connection. Key aspects include:

  • Releasing physical and mental tension
  • Breathing deeply and consciously
  • Creating a calm, unhurried atmosphere

By prioritizing relaxation, couples can move away from performance anxiety and goal-oriented sex, opening up to more subtle and profound experiences of pleasure and intimacy. This state of relaxation enables the body's natural intelligence to guide the sexual encounter, leading to more fulfilling and ecstatic experiences.

3. Awareness as the Key to Unlocking Sexual Potential

"Awareness is the driving force behind slow sex."

Cultivating presence. Awareness is the cornerstone of slow sex, transforming routine encounters into deeply meaningful experiences. This involves:

  • Being fully present in each moment
  • Paying attention to subtle sensations and energies
  • Observing without judgment

By bringing awareness to every aspect of the sexual experience – from breath to touch to emotion – couples can access heightened states of pleasure and connection. This mindful approach allows for a deeper exploration of one's own body and that of their partner, leading to profound intimacy and spiritual growth.

4. Embracing Polarity: The Dance of Dynamic and Receptive Forces

"Male and female forces are complementary."

Honoring natural roles. Understanding and embracing the inherent polarity between masculine and feminine energies is crucial in slow sex. This involves:

  • Recognizing the dynamic (masculine) and receptive (feminine) qualities in both partners
  • Allowing these complementary forces to interact naturally
  • Cultivating both aspects within oneself

By honoring these polarities, couples can create a powerful energetic exchange that enhances pleasure and deepens connection. This dance of opposites can lead to experiences of unity and transcendence, as the partners merge physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

5. Rhythm and Time: Honoring Natural Sexual Cycles

"Man and woman have different rhythms."

Respecting natural cycles. Slow sex acknowledges and honors the different sexual rhythms of men and women, emphasizing the importance of allowing enough time for both partners to fully engage. Key points include:

  • Understanding that women typically need more time to become aroused
  • Letting go of expectations about how long sex "should" last
  • Creating spaciousness in sexual encounters

By respecting these natural rhythms and allowing ample time for sexual encounters, couples can experience deeper levels of arousal, pleasure, and connection. This approach also helps address common issues like premature ejaculation and lack of female arousal.

6. From Sensation to Sensitivity: Cultivating Pleasure

"The shift from sensation to sensitivity."

Deepening pleasure. Slow sex encourages a move from intense, stimulation-based pleasure to a more subtle, all-encompassing sensitivity. This involves:

  • Focusing on subtle sensations rather than intense stimulation
  • Cultivating whole-body awareness and pleasure
  • Allowing pleasure to build slowly and naturally

By developing this heightened sensitivity, couples can experience more profound and sustainable pleasure. This approach also helps address issues of desensitization and addiction to intense stimulation, leading to a more balanced and fulfilling sex life.

7. Thought and Intention in Sacred Sexuality

"Right thought as intention."

Mindful approach. The power of thought and intention plays a crucial role in transforming sex into a sacred practice. Key aspects include:

  • Setting clear intentions for sexual encounters
  • Using visualization and positive thoughts to enhance the experience
  • Letting go of negative beliefs and conditioning around sex

By harnessing the power of thought and intention, couples can create a sacred space for their sexual encounters, infusing them with deeper meaning and spiritual significance. This mindful approach can lead to profound healing and transformation.

8. Healing and Transformation Through Conscious Sex

"The sacred balances and heals."

Therapeutic potential. Slow sex has immense healing potential, addressing physical, emotional, and spiritual wounds. Benefits include:

  • Releasing trapped emotions and trauma
  • Balancing masculine and feminine energies
  • Deepening self-love and acceptance

Through conscious, loving sexual encounters, couples can experience profound healing and transformation. This approach can help resolve long-standing sexual issues, deepen intimacy, and foster personal growth.

9. Practical Steps to Begin Your Slow Sex Journey

"Practice brings about change and transformation much more effectively than just thinking about doing something."

Getting started. Implementing slow sex practices requires patience, commitment, and a willingness to explore. Key steps include:

  • Setting aside dedicated time for slow sex encounters
  • Creating a conducive environment (e.g., comfortable space, soft lighting)
  • Starting with simple practices like conscious breathing and eye gazing

By taking these practical steps, couples can gradually incorporate slow sex principles into their intimate life. It's important to approach this journey with curiosity and openness, allowing for exploration and growth over time.

10. Overcoming Challenges in Slow Sex Practice

"Confusion and lack of confidence make one feel more vulnerable, open, and present, so any feelings of awkwardness also have positive value."

Embracing the process. Adopting slow sex practices can bring up challenges and resistances. Common issues include:

  • Feeling awkward or insecure
  • Struggling with old patterns and expectations
  • Dealing with emotional release and vulnerability

It's important to approach these challenges with patience, compassion, and open communication. By viewing difficulties as opportunities for growth and deepening intimacy, couples can navigate the journey of slow sex more smoothly, leading to profound transformation in their relationship and sexual life.

Last updated:

Review Summary

3.63 out of 5
Average of 100+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Slow Sex receives mixed reviews, with some praising its approach to mindful, intimate sexuality and others criticizing its heteronormative focus and repetitive content. Positive reviews highlight the book's emphasis on slowing down and being present during sexual encounters. Critics note the book's spiritual overtones and lack of inclusivity. Some readers found the concepts helpful for deepening intimacy, while others felt the advice was impractical or too "hippie." Overall, the book seems to divide readers based on their openness to alternative sexual practices and spiritual perspectives.

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About the Author

Diana Richardson is an author and teacher specializing in Tantra and sexuality. She has written several books on the topic of conscious sexuality, including "Slow Sex: The Path to Fulfilling and Sustainable Sexuality." Richardson's work focuses on integrating mindfulness and spiritual practices into sexual experiences, emphasizing the importance of slowing down and being present during intimate encounters. Her approach draws from Tantric traditions but aims to make these concepts accessible to Western audiences. Richardson advocates for a shift away from goal-oriented, orgasm-focused sex towards a more holistic and sustainable approach to sexuality. Her teachings often challenge conventional views on sex and relationships, promoting deeper connection and awareness between partners.

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