Tenacity in Children

1. Tenacity is rooted in seven instincts that shape human development

The seven instincts comprising Tenacity furnish the power to build self-discipline and resilience.

Instincts as foundations. The authors propose that tenacity - the strength of will and sense of purpose needed to fuel self-discipline and resilience - is built on seven key instincts present from birth:

• Intuitive Optimism
• Intrinsic Motivation
• Compassionate Empathy
• Simultaneous Intelligence
• Genuine Altruism
• Virtuous Responsibility
• Measured Fairness

While these instincts have genetic roots, their development requires nurturing from caring, knowledgeable adults. Parents and caregivers play a crucial role in fostering these instincts through modeling, reinforcement, and creating supportive environments. By understanding and cultivating these seven instincts, we can help children develop the tenacity needed to thrive.

2. Intuitive Optimism drives children's persistence and resilience

Intuitive Optimism is a core component in a child's resilient mindset.

Born believing. Intuitive Optimism is the innate belief that success is possible, even in the face of challenges. This instinct explains why children persist in trying to master tasks, even without prior knowledge or experience of success. It fuels their daily quest to understand and master the world around them.

Key aspects of nurturing Intuitive Optimism include:

• Reinforcing a sense of personal control
• Teaching effective problem-solving strategies
• Identifying and building on strengths or "islands of competence"
• Providing opportunities for contributory activities

By fostering Intuitive Optimism, parents and caregivers can help children develop a resilient mindset that allows them to bounce back from setbacks and persevere in the face of adversity.

3. Intrinsic Motivation fuels engagement and learning without external rewards

Intrinsic Motivation is best defined as motivation from the inside out.

Internal drive for mastery. Intrinsic Motivation is rooted in the joy of engaging in and eventually succeeding at a task, rather than being driven by external rewards or punishments. This instinct is closely tied to children's natural curiosity and desire to master their environment.

To nurture Intrinsic Motivation:

• Create opportunities for children to experience pleasure in activities
• Focus on the process of learning rather than just outcomes
• Avoid overreliance on extrinsic rewards or punishments
• Foster a sense of autonomy and self-determination
• Help children develop a sense of competence and purpose

By supporting Intrinsic Motivation, we can help children develop a lifelong love of learning and achievement that goes beyond external incentives.

4. Compassionate Empathy enables understanding and caring for others

Compassionate Empathy is an essential component of emotional and social intelligence.

Understanding and action. Compassionate Empathy involves not only understanding others' perspectives and emotions but also taking action to alleviate their distress or improve their lives. This instinct is crucial for developing strong relationships and social competence.

Ways to foster Compassionate Empathy include:

• Modeling empathetic behavior
• Encouraging perspective-taking
• Validating children's emotions
• Providing opportunities for helping others
• Discussing emotions and their impacts

By nurturing Compassionate Empathy, we help children develop the emotional intelligence and social skills necessary for building strong, supportive relationships throughout their lives.

5. Simultaneous Intelligence allows flexible problem-solving and critical thinking

Simultaneous Intelligence guides our practical understanding of how elements of a problem fit together into a solution.

Integrating information. Simultaneous Intelligence is the ability to consider multiple pieces of information simultaneously to solve problems and think critically. This instinct is crucial for navigating complex situations and adapting to new challenges.

Strategies to enhance Simultaneous Intelligence:

• Encourage children to consider alternative explanations and solutions
• Ask open-ended questions that promote critical thinking
• Provide opportunities for problem-solving in various contexts
• Teach strategies for categorizing and organizing information
• Foster creativity and flexible thinking

By developing Simultaneous Intelligence, children become better equipped to handle complex problems and adapt to changing circumstances throughout their lives.

6. Genuine Altruism promotes helping others without expectation of reward

Children appear to come into the world with an inborn need to help.

Unselfish concern for others. Genuine Altruism involves helping others without expecting anything in return. This instinct is closely linked to Compassionate Empathy and contributes to a sense of purpose and connection to others.

To nurture Genuine Altruism:

• Model altruistic behavior
• Provide opportunities for children to help others
• Discuss the impact of helping behaviors on others and society
• Encourage children to notice and appreciate others' altruistic actions
• Avoid overreliance on external rewards for helping behaviors

By fostering Genuine Altruism, we help children develop a sense of social responsibility and connection to their community, enhancing their overall well-being and sense of purpose.

7. Virtuous Responsibility cultivates accountability and ethical behavior

Virtuous Responsibility is more than just accepting culpability or blame, a narrow view that would deprive this instinct of its powerful positive meaning.

Ethical accountability. Virtuous Responsibility involves meeting responsibilities that protect and enrich one's society, as well as being accountable for one's actions. This instinct is crucial for developing self-discipline and a strong moral compass.

Ways to foster Virtuous Responsibility:

• Set clear expectations and consequences
• Use natural and logical consequences to teach accountability
• Provide opportunities for children to contribute to family and community
• Discuss ethical dilemmas and decision-making
• Model taking responsibility for one's actions

By nurturing Virtuous Responsibility, we help children develop the self-discipline and ethical foundation necessary for success in personal and professional relationships.

8. Measured Fairness balances equity with individual needs and circumstances

Measured Fairness lies at the fundamental level of our social selves.

Balancing equity and needs. Measured Fairness involves understanding that fair treatment doesn't always mean equal treatment. This instinct helps children navigate complex social situations and develop a nuanced understanding of justice and equity.

Strategies to cultivate Measured Fairness:

• Discuss examples of fairness in various contexts
• Encourage perspective-taking in conflict situations
• Model fair decision-making processes
• Teach children to consider individual needs and circumstances
• Address issues of bias and discrimination openly

By fostering Measured Fairness, we help children develop the social awareness and critical thinking skills necessary to navigate complex interpersonal and societal issues.

9. Nurturing tenacity requires modeling and reinforcing positive behaviors

We must reframe how we parent, educate, and socialize our children if we are to prepare them for a future few if any of us can imagine.

Lead by example. Parents and caregivers play a crucial role in nurturing tenacity by modeling and reinforcing the seven instincts in their daily interactions with children.

Key strategies for nurturing tenacity:

• Model the behaviors and attitudes you want to see in your children
• Create environments that support the development of the seven instincts
• Provide opportunities for children to practice and strengthen each instinct
• Use empathic communication to validate feelings and encourage growth
• Celebrate efforts and progress, not just outcomes

By consistently modeling and reinforcing tenacious behaviors, parents and caregivers can help children internalize these instincts and develop the resilience and self-discipline needed for lifelong success.

10. Overcoming adversity builds strength and purpose

After you survive a traumatic event, the challenge is to make sense of it, and then to find a new and perhaps different way of living a meaningful life.

Growth through challenges. Facing and overcoming adversity can be a powerful catalyst for personal growth and the development of tenacity. By helping children navigate challenges and find meaning in difficult experiences, we can foster resilience and a sense of purpose.

Strategies for helping children overcome adversity:

• Validate their feelings and experiences
• Encourage a growth mindset that views challenges as opportunities
• Help them identify and build on their strengths
• Teach problem-solving and coping strategies
• Support them in finding meaning and purpose in their experiences

By framing adversity as an opportunity for growth and helping children develop the skills to overcome challenges, we can foster the tenacity needed to thrive in an ever-changing world.

Last updated: July 28, 2024