What My Bones Know

1. Childhood trauma can have profound, long-lasting effects on mental and physical health

"Having an ACE score of 6 or higher takes twenty years off your life expectancy."

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) have a significant impact on long-term health outcomes. Research shows that individuals with high ACE scores are:

• 3x more likely to develop liver disease
• 2x more likely to develop cancer or heart disease
• 4x more likely to develop emphysema
• 7.5x more likely to become alcoholics
• 4.5x more likely to suffer from depression
• 12x more likely to attempt suicide

Childhood trauma affects physical health through chronic stress, which alters brain structure and function. It can lead to changes in the immune system, hormonal imbalances, and increased inflammation. These biological effects can persist into adulthood, contributing to a range of physical and mental health issues.

2. Complex PTSD results from prolonged, repeated trauma and affects one's entire identity

"Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD; also known as complex trauma disorder) is a psychological disorder that can develop in response to prolonged, repeated experience of interpersonal trauma in a context in which the individual has little or no chance of escape."

C-PTSD differs from PTSD in several key ways:

• Caused by ongoing trauma rather than a single event
• Affects one's entire personality and sense of self
• Results in difficulties regulating emotions and maintaining relationships
• Often involves feelings of shame, guilt, and worthlessness

People with C-PTSD may struggle with:

• Trust issues and fear of abandonment
• Difficulty setting boundaries
• Chronic feelings of emptiness or hopelessness
• A fragmented sense of identity

Healing from C-PTSD involves addressing not just specific traumatic memories, but also rebuilding one's entire sense of self and relationship to the world.

3. Intergenerational trauma can be passed down biologically and culturally

"DNA, of course, is the genetic code that determines the shape of our nose, our eye color, our likelihood to contract certain diseases. So when our body is making and remaking itself, every cell in our body actually 'reads' our DNA and uses it as a blueprint for what to build."

Trauma can be inherited through both biological and cultural mechanisms:

Biological transmission:

• Epigenetic changes affecting gene expression
• Alterations in stress response systems
• Changes in brain structure and function

Cultural transmission:

• Parenting styles shaped by trauma
• Beliefs and behaviors passed down through generations
• Silencing or denying traumatic histories

Research has shown that children of trauma survivors may exhibit symptoms similar to their parents, even without directly experiencing the trauma themselves. This underscores the importance of addressing trauma not just on an individual level, but also within families and communities.

4. Healing from trauma requires self-compassion, curiosity, and letting go of shame

"Punishment doesn't work."

Self-compassion is crucial for healing from trauma. Many trauma survivors internalize shame and self-blame, believing they are fundamentally flawed or unworthy. Shifting from self-punishment to self-compassion involves:

• Recognizing that suffering is a universal human experience
• Treating oneself with kindness and understanding
• Practicing mindfulness to observe thoughts and feelings without judgment

Curiosity about one's experiences, rather than harsh self-criticism, can lead to greater self-awareness and healing. This involves approaching difficult emotions and memories with openness and a desire to understand, rather than trying to suppress or avoid them.

5. Mindfulness and body awareness practices can help manage trauma symptoms

"Being grounded refers to a state of mental awareness where you're fully present with the here and now. You know who and where you are, the current time and year, and what's happening all around you. It is the opposite of dissociating."

Grounding techniques can help trauma survivors manage symptoms like dissociation, anxiety, and flashbacks:

• Body scan meditations
• Deep breathing exercises
• Sensory awareness practices (e.g., naming 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, etc.)

Other mindfulness practices that can be beneficial:

• Yoga
• Tai chi
• Progressive muscle relaxation
• Mindful walking

These practices help reconnect mind and body, promoting a sense of safety and presence in the current moment.

6. Healthy relationships and community are crucial for healing from relational trauma

"Relationships are like sports. It's muscle memory, it's all the action of doing. You can't just read about tennis and know how to play tennis. There's a lot of dueling involved. Interpersonal dueling!"

Healing occurs in relationships. Since complex trauma often stems from interpersonal abuse or neglect, healing requires new experiences of safe, supportive relationships. This can involve:

• Building a strong therapeutic alliance
• Developing healthy friendships and romantic partnerships
• Engaging in supportive community groups

Key aspects of healing relationships:

• Emotional attunement and validation
• Clear communication and boundary-setting
• Practicing vulnerability and trust
• Repairing ruptures in the relationship

Learning to navigate these interpersonal "duels" in a healthy way can help rewire the brain's expectations of relationships and foster a sense of safety and connection.

7. Recognizing societal factors in trauma can reduce self-blame and isolation

"Racism can cause PTSD."

Trauma exists within larger societal contexts. Recognizing the role of systemic oppression, discrimination, and societal violence in trauma can help survivors:

• Reduce self-blame and shame
• Understand their experiences as part of broader patterns
• Connect with others who have similar experiences
• Engage in collective healing and social action

Forms of societal trauma:

• Racism and racial microaggressions
• Homophobia and transphobia
• Poverty and economic inequality
• War and political violence
• Intergenerational trauma from historical atrocities

Understanding these factors can help survivors contextualize their experiences and advocate for both personal and societal change.

8. Healing is an ongoing process that involves reframing one's narrative and identity

"I am not always curious, of course. When I perceive someone being rude to me, I do not get it together to practice this dance of attunement every day. Not even most times. But more and more, I am curious enough to ask the magic question: 'What do you need?'"

Healing is not linear or finite, but an ongoing journey of growth and self-discovery. Key aspects of this process include:

• Reframing one's life story to incorporate both trauma and resilience
• Developing a more nuanced, compassionate view of oneself and others
• Practicing new ways of relating to oneself and the world
• Celebrating small victories and progress

Strategies for ongoing healing:

• Regular self-reflection and journaling
• Continued therapy or support groups as needed
• Engaging in creative expression
• Setting and working towards meaningful goals
• Practicing gratitude and savoring positive experiences

As survivors develop new skills and perspectives, they can gradually shift from a trauma-centered identity to one that encompasses their full range of experiences and potential.

Last updated: January 22, 2025