That Sounds Fun

1. The Search for Fun is a Deeper Longing for Eden and Home

I think when we go looking for fun what we are actually looking for is home.

Missing something profound. The feeling that something is lacking, even on good days, isn't just a need for more entertainment. It's a deep, quiet whisper of truth that we have lost something fundamental – a sense of Eden, peace, and a solid foundation for genuine joy. This longing drives our search for "fun," but often we're seeking a return to simplicity and belonging.

Childhood memories as glimpses. Simple moments from childhood, like snapping beans on a cool porch or riding a bicycle on familiar land, can feel like glimpses of this lost Eden. These memories resonate because they remind us of a time when life felt simpler, less burdened by adult responsibilities and the complexities of the world. They highlight the peace that comes from just being, not doing or achieving.

Home is more than a place. The author's struggle with her parents selling her childhood home reveals how deeply our sense of safety and identity can be tied to places. While physical homes change, the search for "home" is really a search for that feeling of safety, belonging, and simplicity that Eden represents. Fun moments often provide these fleeting, powerful reminders of what was lost and what is still longed for.

2. Embrace Being an Amateur: Do Things Purely for Pleasure

When did we stop doing things just for fun?

The pressure to be professional. We often associate "amateur" with making mistakes or being unskilled, overlooking its original meaning: doing something for pleasure or admiration, not profit. This cultural shift pressures us to only pursue activities we are good at or can monetize, stifling growth, bravery, and the simple joy of trying something new without the expectation of perfection or financial gain.

Fear of looking new. The fear of being seen as inexperienced or unskilled prevents us from starting new hobbies, joining new groups, or engaging in important conversations. We feel we must research everything and become "pros" before we even begin, limiting our lives and squelching the natural process of learning and growing through trial and error.

Amateur spirit is world-changing. Embracing the amateur spirit – admiring, enjoying, and engaging in activities for their own sake – is where genuine fun and even profound change can happen. Whether it's learning a new skill, engaging in a difficult conversation, or simply petting a dog in a hotel lobby, some things are meant to stay amateur, bringing joy and teaching us without the pressure of performance or profit.

3. Fun and Grief Can Coexist: They Can Walk Alongside Pain

Fun is never meant to replace pain, or better said, fun will never replace pain. But fun can walk alongside it.

Escapism vs. genuine fun. We often confuse escapism with fun, using activities to run away from pain or difficult emotions. While temporary distraction might feel good, true fun doesn't require ignoring or suppressing sadness. It's possible, and even necessary, to hold both joy and pain simultaneously.

Glimpses of Eden in hard times. Moments of fun can appear as gifts within difficult seasons, like seeing a movie during a heartbreak or riding a roller coaster amidst tragedy. These experiences don't erase the pain, but they offer glimpses of joy, wonder, and connection that remind us of what is still good and beautiful in the world, even when our hearts ache.

Savoring amidst sadness. Choosing to engage in fun activities, like a spontaneous trip or a shared experience, can be a way of processing grief and making meaningful memories even as something is ending. These moments, like the Disneyland trip marking an assistant's departure or fireworks during a final family gathering at a beloved home, become powerful memories precisely because they were experienced alongside the sadness, proving that joy is still possible.

4. Allow Yourself the Powerful Vulnerability of Falling in Love

You want to learn to have fun? FALL IN LOVE.

Feeling everything big. The author describes feeling emotions "big" – big happy, big sad, big excitement, big love. While this intensity can be challenging, it's also the capacity for deep connection and joy. Emotional health isn't about feeling less, but about understanding and navigating the full range of emotions, including the vulnerability that comes with loving deeply.

Love makes you feel alive. Falling in love, whether with an idea, a place, a hobby, or a person, is a powerful act of vulnerability that makes your heart beat hard and fast. It's a reminder that you are alive, that you survived past hurts, and that your capacity for connection and joy is still intact. This willingness to love, even knowing it might hurt, is essential for experiencing the richness of life.

Loving yourself is foundational. Learning to love yourself, independent of how others (especially romantic partners) feel about you, is a crucial journey. Insecurities don't disappear in relationships; they shape-shift. Moments of self-kindness, courage, and presence, like getting a desired tattoo and sitting in the pain, are acts of self-love that build an internal foundation, proving you are not drinking the poison of self-hate.

5. Hobbies Create Space for Flourishing and Connection

Hobbies make space.

More than just leisure. Hobbies are activities done regularly for pleasure, but they offer much more than just filling time. They create space in our busy lives, remind us that good things can come from simple efforts (seeds become flowers, ingredients become soup), and offer a sense of putting pieces back together in a broken world.

Rediscovering lost joys. Many adults, burdened by responsibilities, have given up childhood hobbies like playing chess or gardening. Rediscovering these activities can reconnect us with simpler times and different versions of ourselves. Hobbies like reading in a book club or learning chess can stretch us, teach us, and provide unexpected moments of peace and connection.

Slow hobbies are good. Unlike the rushed pace of modern life, most hobbies require slowness and patience. This deliberate pace, whether it's crocheting stitch by stitch or waiting for a chess move, can be incredibly grounding and holy. Slow hobbies teach us to savor the process, not just the outcome, fostering connection and stretching time in meaningful ways.

6. True Belonging Comes from Choosing and Being Chosen by Community

Isolation doesn’t lead to flourishing; isolation leads to death.

The lie of independence. Western culture often promotes the idea that strength lies in independence and self-sufficiency, viewing needing others as a weakness. This is a lie that leads to isolation, not flourishing. We are designed for connection, and true strength comes from interdependence and belonging.

Chosen family fills gaps. While nuclear family is important, belonging can be found in chosen family systems – friends who show up, listen, and offer support without judgment. These relationships, like the author's bond with her MiniBFFs and their parents, fill gaps, offer unconditional love, and provide a safe space to be vulnerable, cry, or simply show up as you are.

Community in shared experiences. Shared activities, whether it's a book club, playing chess, or simply sitting on a porch, create intentional space for connection. These moments, even amidst sadness or difficulty, build a sense of home and belonging that feels Eden-like. Being seen, loved, and prayed for by this chosen community is a profound gift that reminds us we are not alone.

7. Find Peace and Presence by Slowing Down and Savoring Moments

Slow is better. Slow is good.

The rush of modern life. Our lives often feel rushed, hopping from one task or meeting to the next, constantly looking ahead. This fast pace prevents us from being fully present and appreciating the moments we are in, even the good ones. We rush through experiences, anticipating the end even as they begin.

Intentional slowing down. Choosing activities that require a slower pace, like playing chess or cooking, can be a deliberate practice of presence. These moments force us to pause, observe, and engage with what is right in front of us, fostering a sense of calm and allowing us to notice details we would otherwise miss.

Savoring the present. The practice of "savoring this" – intentionally appreciating the current moment, whether it's joyful or painful – is a powerful tool for emotional health. It means sitting in the experience, feeling it fully, and recognizing its unique value. This practice, symbolized by the author's tattoo, helps us find meaning and connection in the here and now, rather than constantly striving for the next thing.

8. God Guides and Reveals in the Details

When I look for His hand in the stories that I’m living, I always seem to find Him.

Divine invitations. God is not distant but actively involved in the details of our lives, often extending invitations or nudges in unexpected ways. These can come through conversations with friends, unexpected opportunities, or even quiet inner promptings that resonate deeply within us, guiding us toward growth and healing.

Finding God in the mundane. God's presence isn't limited to grand gestures; it's found in the everyday moments and places. Whether it's the specific timing of a house purchase, the unexpected beauty of a golf cart ride through a decorated park, or the simple act of cooking in a small kitchen, looking for God's hand in these details reveals His care and intentionality.

Answered prayers and harvest. Sometimes, God answers prayers in surprising ways or on a different timeline than expected. Recognizing these moments, like the house purchase aligning with a prayer made months earlier, can be shocking but also a powerful reminder of God's faithfulness and the concept of "harvest" – reaping the results of prayers and past efforts in unexpected forms.

9. Reclaim Beloved Places and Activities, Even After Loss

Because there are places that are lost forever, like my childhood home, so shouldn’t we go back to the ones that we can? Even if it hurts?

Loss of places is real. Losing access to significant places, like a childhood home or a former church building, can be a profound and unique grief. These places hold deep memories and a sense of identity, and their loss can feel like losing a part of oneself, even if the memories remain.

Courage to return. Despite the pain associated with past experiences or losses tied to a place or activity, there is courage and healing in choosing to return. This might mean revisiting a restaurant where a relationship ended or returning to a hobby that was abandoned. It's an adult decision made with a childlike hope that the place can hold new, positive memories.

Redefining and reclaiming. Returning to a beloved place or activity allows us to redefine it and reclaim it from past hurts. Like the author's experience at the Ryman Auditorium, revisiting a place after a difficult memory can reveal that its capacity to hold joy and create new, powerful moments is still intact, proving that loss doesn't have to mean forever giving up what you love.

10. Listen to Your Body and Inner Knowing as Guides

Sometimes God sounds like words and sometimes God sounds like an allergic reaction.

Body as a messenger. Our physical bodies can be messengers, communicating important truths about our health, emotions, and even spiritual state. Ignoring physical symptoms or reactions, like migraines or allergic responses, can mean missing crucial guidance or invitations for healing and change.

Inner knowing and gut feelings. Beyond physical signals, there's often a deeper inner knowing or gut feeling that guides us. This sense, which may not have words or logical explanation, can be a way God encourages or invites us to step into something new, even if it feels scary or uncomfortable, like the decision to go to Onsite.

Amateur at listening. Learning to trust and listen to our bodies and inner knowing is often an amateur process. It requires paying attention without judgment and recognizing that these internal signals are valid forms of communication. This practice, though not always fun or easy, is essential for self-care, making informed decisions, and aligning our lives with what brings true health and flourishing.

Last updated: May 5, 2025