Untangle Your Emotions

1. Emotions are Messengers, Not Masters

Your feelings aren’t trying to control you—they are trying to tell you something.

Designed for Connection. Emotions are not meant to be suppressed or ignored, but rather understood and integrated. They serve as vital signals, connecting us to ourselves, others, and God. Recognizing this shifts our perspective from viewing emotions as enemies to seeing them as valuable sources of information.

Beyond Suppression. The common approach of stuffing or minimizing feelings is ultimately detrimental. These unprocessed emotions don't disappear; they manifest in other ways, such as physical symptoms, strained relationships, or destructive behaviors. A healthier approach involves acknowledging and exploring the underlying messages emotions carry.

God's Design. Emotions are not inherently sinful or unreliable. They are part of God's design for humanity, reflecting His own capacity for feeling. Understanding this allows us to approach our emotions with curiosity and compassion, rather than judgment or fear.

2. Untangling Starts with Noticing

Somewhere along the way, maybe from things I heard at church or just from growing up, I learned I wasn’t supposed to be sad or angry or scared.

The First Step. The initial step in untangling our emotions is simply noticing them. This involves paying attention to the physical sensations, thoughts, and behaviors that accompany different feelings. It's about becoming aware of our internal landscape without immediately judging or trying to change it.

Body Awareness. Our bodies often provide the first clues to our emotional state. Paying attention to physical cues like a racing heart, tense muscles, or an upset stomach can help us identify underlying emotions that we might otherwise miss.

Resisting the Urge to Fix. Noticing emotions can be challenging because it goes against our natural inclination to fix or avoid discomfort. However, resisting the urge to immediately solve the problem allows us to fully experience and understand the emotion, paving the way for healthier processing.

3. Naming Emotions Brings Clarity

If you want to tame it, name it.

Words Matter. Naming our emotions is a powerful act of bringing clarity and understanding to our internal experience. It involves identifying the specific emotion we're feeling, rather than settling for vague or general terms.

Expanding Vocabulary. Many of us have a limited emotional vocabulary, making it difficult to accurately describe what we're feeling. Expanding our emotional vocabulary allows us to differentiate between similar emotions and gain a more nuanced understanding of our internal state.

Taming the Beast. Naming an emotion can help to "tame" it, reducing its power over us. By giving the emotion a name, we create a sense of distance and objectivity, allowing us to observe it without being overwhelmed.

4. Feeling is Healing

Feelings were never meant to be fixed; feelings are meant to be felt.

Permission to Feel. Allowing ourselves to fully feel our emotions, without judgment or resistance, is essential for healing. This involves giving ourselves permission to experience the full range of human emotions, even the uncomfortable ones.

Resisting the Urge to Control. The urge to control or suppress emotions often stems from a fear of being overwhelmed. However, resisting this urge and allowing emotions to run their natural course can actually lead to a quicker resolution.

The Body's Wisdom. Our bodies are designed to process emotions, and allowing ourselves to feel them fully can help to release pent-up energy and tension. This can involve physical expressions like crying, shaking, or deep breathing.

5. Sharing Emotions Deepens Connection

You don’t have to tell everyone; you have to tell someone.

Vulnerability is Key. Sharing our emotions with trusted others is a powerful way to deepen connection and foster intimacy. Vulnerability involves taking the risk of being seen and known, even when it feels scary or uncomfortable.

Safe Relationships. Sharing our emotions requires a safe and supportive environment. This involves choosing people who are trustworthy, empathetic, and non-judgmental. It's about finding individuals who can listen without trying to fix or minimize our feelings.

Bearing One Another's Burdens. Sharing our emotions allows others to come alongside us and bear our burdens. This mutual support can provide comfort, encouragement, and a sense of belonging, reminding us that we're not alone in our struggles.

6. Choosing a Path Forward

Emotions are not the sin; it’s what we do with them that is the sin.

Emotions as Tools. Emotions are not inherently good or bad, but rather tools that can be used for constructive or destructive purposes. The key lies in how we choose to respond to our emotions.

Willpower and Choice. We have the power to choose how we respond to our emotions. This involves aligning our actions with our values and seeking guidance from God. It's about making conscious decisions that lead to growth and connection, rather than destruction and isolation.

Seeking God's Guidance. When faced with difficult emotions, it's essential to seek God's guidance. This can involve prayer, Scripture reading, or seeking counsel from trusted spiritual mentors. It's about surrendering our emotions to God and asking for His wisdom in navigating them.

7. The Body-Emotion Connection

Did you know that the mental structures that process emotions are located deeper in the brain than where the thinking structures live?

Physical Well-being. Our physical health has a profound impact on our emotional well-being. Taking care of our bodies through proper nutrition, exercise, and sleep can significantly improve our ability to manage emotions.

Hormonal Balance. Hormonal imbalances can wreak havoc on our emotions. Consulting with a healthcare professional to assess and address any hormonal issues can be a crucial step in untangling our emotions.

Mind-Body Practices. Practices like yoga, meditation, and deep breathing can help to connect us with our bodies and regulate our nervous systems. These practices can promote relaxation, reduce stress, and improve our ability to manage emotions.

8. Grace for the Journey

I’m not leaving the room.

Progress, Not Perfection. The journey of untangling our emotions is a lifelong process, not a destination. There will be setbacks and challenges along the way, and it's important to extend grace to ourselves and others.

Compassion and Acceptance. Approaching ourselves and others with compassion and acceptance is essential for creating a safe and supportive environment for emotional growth. This involves recognizing that we're all doing the best we can with what we have.

God's Unconditional Love. God's love for us is unconditional, regardless of our emotional state. Resting in His love and grace can provide comfort, strength, and hope as we navigate the ups and downs of life.

Last updated: April 9, 2025