The 5 Resets

1. Stress is universal and manageable: Your biology holds the key

"Stress is one of life's great paradoxes. It's the most common experience we can have as humans. But instead of unifying us, it isolates us, making us feel alone in our struggle."

Stress is normal. Despite its ubiquity, stress often feels isolating and overwhelming. However, understanding the biology of stress can empower you to manage it effectively. Stress activates your amygdala, triggering the fight-or-flight response. This was useful for our ancestors facing physical threats, but in modern life, it can lead to chronic stress and burnout.

Stress is reversible. The good news is that both stress and burnout are fully reversible. By working with your biology rather than against it, you can reset your stress response and build resilience. This book offers a science-based approach to rewiring your brain for less stress and more resilience through small, actionable changes over time.

2. Understand your stress: The Personalized Stress Score and canary symptoms

"Your canary song that got my attention was my palpitations. They made me sit up, take notice, and make changes in my life and how I lived it."

Recognize your stress signals. Everyone experiences stress differently, but we all have "canary symptoms" – early warning signs that our stress levels are becoming unhealthy. These can be physical (like headaches or digestive issues) or emotional (like irritability or anxiety).

Measure your stress. The book introduces a Personalized Stress Score, a simple quiz to help you gauge your current stress levels. By regularly checking in with this score, you can track your progress and identify areas that need attention. Understanding your unique stress profile is the first step towards effective management.

Common canary symptoms:

• Sleep disturbances
• Mood changes
• Physical tension or pain
• Digestive issues
• Difficulty concentrating

3. Rewire your brain: Neuroplasticity and the Resilience Rule of 2

"Your brain is a muscle that grows and changes on the basis of the ever-changing conditions of your life."

Harness neuroplasticity. Your brain has the remarkable ability to form new neural pathways throughout your life. This means you can literally rewire your brain to be more resilient to stress. The key is consistent practice of stress-reducing techniques.

Start small for big change. The Resilience Rule of 2 is a powerful strategy for making lasting changes. Instead of trying to overhaul your entire life at once, focus on implementing just two new stress-reduction techniques at a time. This approach makes change manageable and sustainable.

Benefits of the Resilience Rule of 2:

• Prevents overwhelm
• Increases likelihood of success
• Allows for gradual, sustainable change
• Builds confidence as you see progress

4. Find your stress sweet spot: The Goldilocks Principle

"Right in the middle of the curve is your sweet spot for stress—not too much and not too little when your stress is just right. This is your healthy stress level where you feel motivated but not overwhelmed, engaged but not depleted."

Optimal stress exists. The Goldilocks Principle suggests that there's an optimal level of stress – not too much, not too little. This "just right" amount of stress keeps you engaged and motivated without tipping into burnout.

Honor your breaks. One practical way to apply the Goldilocks Principle is by honoring breaks throughout your day. Short, frequent breaks (even just 10 minutes) can significantly reduce cumulative stress on the brain. Use these breaks intentionally for stress-reducing activities like stretching, deep breathing, or a quick walk.

Strategies for finding your stress sweet spot:

• Schedule regular breaks in your calendar
• Practice mindfulness during transitions between tasks
• Identify and minimize unnecessary stressors
• Cultivate activities that challenge you positively

5. Silence your inner critic: Cultivate gratitude and self-compassion

"By taking just a few extra seconds to stay with a positive experience . . . you'll help turn a passing mental state into lasting neural structure. Mental states become neural traits. Day after day, your mind is building your brain."

Retrain your brain. Your inner critic often becomes louder during times of stress, but you can actively rewire your brain to be more positive and resilient. Gratitude and self-compassion are powerful tools for this transformation.

Practice gratitude daily. Keep a gratitude journal, writing down five things you're grateful for each day. This simple practice can shift your brain's tendency to focus on negatives, making positive experiences more "sticky." Over time, this reshapes your neural pathways, leading to increased resilience and well-being.

Benefits of gratitude practice:

• Decreases stress hormone levels
• Improves mood and life satisfaction
• Enhances resilience to difficult experiences
• Promotes better sleep

6. Sync brain and body: Breathwork and movement for stress relief

"Your breath is the only physiological bodily process that is under both voluntary and involuntary control."

Harness your breath. Breathwork is a powerful tool for activating the parasympathetic nervous system, which counteracts the stress response. Techniques like diaphragmatic breathing, 4-7-8 breathing, and heart-centered breathing can quickly calm your body and mind.

Move for mental health. Regular physical activity is one of the most effective stress-busters. Even a 20-minute daily walk can significantly improve mood, reduce anxiety, and enhance cognitive function. Exercise also promotes neuroplasticity, helping your brain become more resilient to stress over time.

Key breathing techniques:

• Diaphragmatic breathing: Deep belly breaths to activate relaxation
• 4-7-8 breathing: Inhale for 4, hold for 7, exhale for 8
• Heart-centered breathing: Place one hand on your heart, focus on slow, deep breaths

7. Protect your mental bandwidth: Minimize digital distractions

"There's only one way. Create boundaries around your most valuable resource: your attention."

Recognize digital stress. Our constant connectivity can be a major source of stress. Smartphones and other screens can lead to information overload, decreased focus, and a phenomenon called "popcorn brain" – where our brains become overstimulated and have difficulty slowing down.

Implement a media diet. Create intentional boundaries around your technology use. This includes time limits (e.g., 20 minutes of social media twice a day), geographical limits (keeping devices out of certain spaces), and logistical limits (turning off notifications).

Components of a healthy media diet:

• Set specific times for checking email and social media
• Create tech-free zones (e.g., bedroom, dining table)
• Use apps to limit screen time and block distracting sites
• Practice regular digital detoxes

8. Prioritize restorative sleep: Your nightly stress reset

"Sleep truly impacts every cell, muscle, and organ system in the body, including the brain."

Sleep is non-negotiable. Quality sleep is essential for stress management and overall health. During sleep, your brain processes emotions, consolidates memories, and clears out toxins. Chronic sleep deprivation can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and a host of health problems.

Optimize your sleep hygiene. Create a consistent sleep schedule, aiming for 7-9 hours per night. Establish a relaxing bedtime routine and make your sleeping environment conducive to rest. Minimize screen time before bed, as blue light can disrupt your natural sleep-wake cycle.

Key sleep hygiene practices:

• Stick to a consistent sleep schedule, even on weekends
• Create a dark, cool, and quiet sleeping environment
• Avoid caffeine, alcohol, and heavy meals close to bedtime
• Practice relaxation techniques like gentle stretching or meditation before sleep

9. Monotask for productivity: Break the multitasking myth

"Multitasking is a scientific misnomer, another long-standing myth our hustle culture likes to perpetuate. When you multitask, what your brain is actually doing is called task switching—moving quickly from one task to another in rapid succession."

Embrace monotasking. Contrary to popular belief, multitasking is inefficient and can increase stress. Your brain is wired to focus on one task at a time. Practicing monotasking can improve productivity, reduce stress, and enhance the quality of your work.

Use time blocking. Implement the Pomodoro Technique or a similar time-blocking method. Work on a single task for a set period (e.g., 25 minutes), followed by a short break. This approach helps maintain focus and gives your brain regular rest periods.

Benefits of monotasking:

• Improved concentration and cognitive function
• Reduced stress and mental fatigue
• Higher quality work output
• Increased sense of accomplishment

10. Nourish your gut-brain connection: Eat for less stress

"Your gut is home to the largest microecosystem of healthy bacteria and other organisms in your body, called the microbiome."

Mind your microbiome. The gut-brain connection plays a crucial role in stress management. Your gut microbiome influences mood, stress levels, and overall mental health. A diet that supports gut health can have a profound impact on your stress resilience.

Adopt Mediterranean-style eating. The Mediterranean diet, rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and healthy fats, has been shown to reduce stress and improve mental health. Incorporate prebiotic and probiotic foods to support your gut microbiome.

Stress-busting foods:

• Leafy greens (rich in folate)
• Fatty fish (high in omega-3s)
• Fermented foods like yogurt and sauerkraut (probiotics)
• Nuts and seeds (magnesium and healthy fats)
• Dark chocolate (antioxidants and mood-boosting compounds)

11. Create healthy boundaries: Honor breaks and fake your commute

"Even though screens of all types emit a frequency of light called blue light. Blue light activates the awake mechanism in your brain even if you're sleepy."

Establish work-life boundaries. With the rise of remote work, creating clear boundaries between professional and personal life is crucial. Honor your breaks throughout the workday, and create transition rituals to mark the beginning and end of work hours.

Implement a fake commute. If you work from home, create a "fake commute" to bookend your workday. This can be a short walk, a brief meditation, or any activity that helps you mentally transition between work and personal time. This practice helps your brain compartmentalize and reduces overall stress.

Elements of a fake commute:

• Physical movement (e.g., a brief walk)
• Mindfulness practice
• Reviewing and setting intentions for the day
• Changing clothes or physical space

12. Choose your future self: Progress over perfection on your stress journey

"As author Brené Brown has said, 'One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else's survival guide.'"

Envision success. Visualize your future self with less stress and more resilience. How would you behave? What actions would you take? This mental rehearsal can help motivate you and keep you on track with your stress-reduction goals.

Celebrate small wins. Focus on progress, not perfection. Every step you take towards better stress management is valuable. Regularly check in with your Personalized Stress Score and acknowledge the improvements you've made, no matter how small.

Strategies for staying motivated:

• Keep a progress journal
• Share your journey with a supportive friend or group
• Set and celebrate small, achievable milestones
• Practice self-compassion on difficult days

Remember, managing stress is a journey, not a destination. By consistently applying these research-backed techniques and honoring your unique needs, you can rewire your brain for greater resilience and well-being. Your future self – calmer, more focused, and thriving – is waiting for you to take the first step.

Last updated: November 12, 2024