The Art of Influence

1. Influence is the Art of Business, distinct from the science.

Influence is the key to success. Influence is the art of business.

Science vs. Art. Business has a science component, like math and finance, which is predictable (e.g., $1M + $1M = $2M). Marcus learned this science at business school. However, Bobby Gold argues that the most important part is the "art" of business, which is influence.

Influence is key. While many people graduate with the same business education and skills, what separates the highly successful from others is their ability to influence people. This isn't just about persuasion techniques, but something deeper.

Core competency. Influence is presented as the core competency of both leadership and sales, the two major parts of business. Without the ability to influence, it's impossible to be truly successful in either area.

2. True Influence comes from who you are, not just techniques.

Influence is all about who you become as you progress through life.

Beyond techniques. Unlike persuasion, which focuses on techniques applied to others, influence is fundamentally about you. It's about your personal transformation and the kind of person you become over time.

Personal transformation. Life's journey, with its good and bad experiences, constantly transforms us. Successful people choose to learn and grow from these experiences, becoming better leaders. Those who don't grow may freeze or stop their journey, hindering their influence.

Daily choices. Bobby Gold emphasizes that his success wasn't just luck but the result of decades of daily choices that determined the type of person he became. Hardships, like his parents' near-divorce or his best friend suing him, were challenges he chose to overcome and learn from.

3. Influence is a gift granted by others (followers/buyers).

Influence is a gift that they give to you.

Decision-makers. In any transaction or relationship, the power ultimately lies with the other person. Buyers decide whether to buy, and followers decide whether to follow. You cannot make someone be influenced; they choose to grant you that influence.

Your only decision. Since you cannot force influence, your only control is over yourself. You decide what kind of person you will be. This personal transformation is what makes you the type of person others want to follow or buy from.

Perception is reality. While perception matters, the best way to manage how others perceive you is to genuinely be the person you want to be perceived as. Becoming a person of influence means becoming someone others trust and respect.

4. Build Influence through Character and Skills (Virtue and Talent).

It means anyone—anyone—can rise to the highest levels if they have virtue and talent or, as I put it, character and skills.

Two essential components. Drawing on Thomas Jefferson's idea of a "natural aristocracy" based on virtue and talent, Bobby explains that influence is built on character and skills. Marcus's list of leadership qualities heavily favored character traits (8 out of 10).

Both are necessary. You need both character and skills to be an effective leader.

• Impeccable character but no skills: A good friend, but not a leader.
• Tremendous skills but no character: Can lead for a while, but people will eventually lose trust.

Trust is foundational. Ultimately, leadership, sales, and business success are built on trust. Character is the foundation of trust. Companies often focus heavily on skills training but neglect character development, which Bobby sees as a major reason for failure.

5. Be a "Fisher" of Influence, not a "Hunter."

If you want to influence people, you need to drop the rifle and think like a fisherman.

Hunting repels. Persuasion, often like hunting, involves aggressively pursuing others. Just as an animal runs when hunted, people tend to run away from overly pushy salespeople or leaders. This might yield a short-term win but damages long-term relationships.

Fishing attracts. Influence, like fishing, is about attracting others to you. It involves putting people at ease and allowing them to feel in control of the decision. True influencers wait for the "fish" to get hungry and come to them.

Four keys to fishing (influence):

• Have fish: There are always plenty of opportunities and people. Don't be desperate.
• Go where they're biting: Focus on people who are receptive or "hungry."
• Use the right bait: You are the bait. Your character and skills make you attractive.
• Presentation: How you present yourself matters. A good presentation enhances good bait.

6. Golden Rule 1: Live a life of Undivided Integrity.

Ultimately the relationship between leader and follower, between buyer and seller, is about trust.

Foundation of trust. Integrity is the absolute foundation of influence and business success. Without integrity, trust is impossible. Bobby learned this when considering a $50M deal where the CFO asked his admin to lie about mailing a package.

Undivided life. Integrity comes from the word "integer," meaning a whole number. Living with undivided integrity means being wholly truthful, with no "lying part." If you are willing to lie, even in small matters, others won't know which "part" of you is speaking, eroding trust.

Mending cracks. Nobody is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes ("small cracks"). The key is to be aware of these cracks, admit them, and correct them before they grow into "big cracks" that can bring down businesses or relationships. Leaders who admit and correct mistakes maintain trust.

7. Golden Rule 2: Always Demonstrate a Positive Attitude.

People want to be around positive, optimistic people. People follow positive, optimistic people.

Attracting followers. People are naturally drawn to positivity and optimism. Leaders who demonstrate these qualities are more likely to gain and maintain influence. Tom Martin, the successful baseball manager, attributes his ability to lead superstars to his consistently positive attitude.

Optimism is a choice. The word "optimism" relates to "opt," meaning to choose, and "ophthalmologist," relating to how you see. Optimism is choosing to see the world positively, believing good can come from negative circumstances, and seeing a brighter future.

Power of words. Our words have immense power, both for ourselves and others ("the tongue has the power of life and death").

• Negative words: Produce negative thoughts and actions (e.g., a player telling himself he can't hit after striking out).
• Positive words: Produce positive results. Leaders should speak life into their followers, building confidence and leading them toward a better future.

8. Golden Rule 3: Consider Others' Interests More Important Than Your Own.

People do business with people they like. Period.

Relationships are key. Business is fundamentally about relationships. Creating, developing, and maintaining healthy relationships is crucial for influence. Bobby's Uncle Walt, a successful tractor salesman, knew his key was simply that customers liked him better.

Being interested. While being interesting helps, being interested in others is far more important for building relationships and influence. Most people are focused on themselves ("looking out for number one"), so showing genuine interest in others makes you stand out and builds rapport.

Leadership by walking around. Bobby practices "leadership by walking around" at his ballpark, not looking for problems, but talking to employees about their lives, families, and hobbies. This shows he cares, making people feel valued and inspiring them to take pride in their work, ultimately improving fan satisfaction.

9. Golden Rule 4: Don't Settle for Anything Less Than Excellence.

People are attracted to excellence, so when we live our lives with excellence, people view us in a different way than if they didn’t.

Attraction to excellence. Paul Diamond, a billionaire known for his brand synonymous with excellence, explains that people are naturally attracted to excellence. Living a life of excellence makes people respect and admire you, increasing your opportunity to influence them.

Three options. Life can be lived poorly, good, or excellently. To be a leader and influencer, choosing excellence is the most effective path. The "law of attraction" in this context means that how you live your life (your level of excellence) either attracts or repels people and business opportunities.

Seven areas of excellence. Paul Diamond focuses on continuous improvement in seven areas:

• Physical appearance
• Emotional health
• Intellectual growth
• Spiritual depth
• Relationships (family, friends, business)
• Financial success
• Charitable giving

Excelling in these areas builds a strong foundation for influence.

10. Excellence applies to all areas of life, including small details.

Excellence is something we practice in even the smallest details.

Holistic excellence. Excellence isn't just about professional achievements; it applies to all aspects of life, including personal well-being and relationships. Neglecting areas like family or emotional health can create imbalance and diminish overall influence, regardless of financial success.

Leading by example. Demonstrating excellence in small details sets a powerful example. Paul Diamond picks up trash on his properties himself, showing staff that every detail matters. This inspires them to also pay attention to the small things, fostering a culture of excellence.

Giving back. Financial success and charitable giving go hand-in-hand in building influence. Making money gains attention, but giving it away gains even more influence and respect. Excelling in giving, regardless of the amount, makes the world better and increases your impact.

Last updated: May 22, 2025