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The Art of Influence

The Art of Influence

Persuading Others Begins With You
by Chris Widener 2008 128 pages
3.77
705 ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Influence is the Art of Business, distinct from the science.

Influence is the key to success. Influence is the art of business.

Science vs. Art. Business has a science component, like math and finance, which is predictable (e.g., $1M + $1M = $2M). Marcus learned this science at business school. However, Bobby Gold argues that the most important part is the "art" of business, which is influence.

Influence is key. While many people graduate with the same business education and skills, what separates the highly successful from others is their ability to influence people. This isn't just about persuasion techniques, but something deeper.

Core competency. Influence is presented as the core competency of both leadership and sales, the two major parts of business. Without the ability to influence, it's impossible to be truly successful in either area.

2. True Influence comes from who you are, not just techniques.

Influence is all about who you become as you progress through life.

Beyond techniques. Unlike persuasion, which focuses on techniques applied to others, influence is fundamentally about you. It's about your personal transformation and the kind of person you become over time.

Personal transformation. Life's journey, with its good and bad experiences, constantly transforms us. Successful people choose to learn and grow from these experiences, becoming better leaders. Those who don't grow may freeze or stop their journey, hindering their influence.

Daily choices. Bobby Gold emphasizes that his success wasn't just luck but the result of decades of daily choices that determined the type of person he became. Hardships, like his parents' near-divorce or his best friend suing him, were challenges he chose to overcome and learn from.

3. Influence is a gift granted by others (followers/buyers).

Influence is a gift that they give to you.

Decision-makers. In any transaction or relationship, the power ultimately lies with the other person. Buyers decide whether to buy, and followers decide whether to follow. You cannot make someone be influenced; they choose to grant you that influence.

Your only decision. Since you cannot force influence, your only control is over yourself. You decide what kind of person you will be. This personal transformation is what makes you the type of person others want to follow or buy from.

Perception is reality. While perception matters, the best way to manage how others perceive you is to genuinely be the person you want to be perceived as. Becoming a person of influence means becoming someone others trust and respect.

4. Build Influence through Character and Skills (Virtue and Talent).

It means anyone—anyone—can rise to the highest levels if they have virtue and talent or, as I put it, character and skills.

Two essential components. Drawing on Thomas Jefferson's idea of a "natural aristocracy" based on virtue and talent, Bobby explains that influence is built on character and skills. Marcus's list of leadership qualities heavily favored character traits (8 out of 10).

Both are necessary. You need both character and skills to be an effective leader.

  • Impeccable character but no skills: A good friend, but not a leader.
  • Tremendous skills but no character: Can lead for a while, but people will eventually lose trust.

Trust is foundational. Ultimately, leadership, sales, and business success are built on trust. Character is the foundation of trust. Companies often focus heavily on skills training but neglect character development, which Bobby sees as a major reason for failure.

5. Be a "Fisher" of Influence, not a "Hunter."

If you want to influence people, you need to drop the rifle and think like a fisherman.

Hunting repels. Persuasion, often like hunting, involves aggressively pursuing others. Just as an animal runs when hunted, people tend to run away from overly pushy salespeople or leaders. This might yield a short-term win but damages long-term relationships.

Fishing attracts. Influence, like fishing, is about attracting others to you. It involves putting people at ease and allowing them to feel in control of the decision. True influencers wait for the "fish" to get hungry and come to them.

Four keys to fishing (influence):

  • Have fish: There are always plenty of opportunities and people. Don't be desperate.
  • Go where they're biting: Focus on people who are receptive or "hungry."
  • Use the right bait: You are the bait. Your character and skills make you attractive.
  • Presentation: How you present yourself matters. A good presentation enhances good bait.

6. Golden Rule 1: Live a life of Undivided Integrity.

Ultimately the relationship between leader and follower, between buyer and seller, is about trust.

Foundation of trust. Integrity is the absolute foundation of influence and business success. Without integrity, trust is impossible. Bobby learned this when considering a $50M deal where the CFO asked his admin to lie about mailing a package.

Undivided life. Integrity comes from the word "integer," meaning a whole number. Living with undivided integrity means being wholly truthful, with no "lying part." If you are willing to lie, even in small matters, others won't know which "part" of you is speaking, eroding trust.

Mending cracks. Nobody is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes ("small cracks"). The key is to be aware of these cracks, admit them, and correct them before they grow into "big cracks" that can bring down businesses or relationships. Leaders who admit and correct mistakes maintain trust.

7. Golden Rule 2: Always Demonstrate a Positive Attitude.

People want to be around positive, optimistic people. People follow positive, optimistic people.

Attracting followers. People are naturally drawn to positivity and optimism. Leaders who demonstrate these qualities are more likely to gain and maintain influence. Tom Martin, the successful baseball manager, attributes his ability to lead superstars to his consistently positive attitude.

Optimism is a choice. The word "optimism" relates to "opt," meaning to choose, and "ophthalmologist," relating to how you see. Optimism is choosing to see the world positively, believing good can come from negative circumstances, and seeing a brighter future.

Power of words. Our words have immense power, both for ourselves and others ("the tongue has the power of life and death").

  • Negative words: Produce negative thoughts and actions (e.g., a player telling himself he can't hit after striking out).
  • Positive words: Produce positive results. Leaders should speak life into their followers, building confidence and leading them toward a better future.

8. Golden Rule 3: Consider Others' Interests More Important Than Your Own.

People do business with people they like. Period.

Relationships are key. Business is fundamentally about relationships. Creating, developing, and maintaining healthy relationships is crucial for influence. Bobby's Uncle Walt, a successful tractor salesman, knew his key was simply that customers liked him better.

Being interested. While being interesting helps, being interested in others is far more important for building relationships and influence. Most people are focused on themselves ("looking out for number one"), so showing genuine interest in others makes you stand out and builds rapport.

Leadership by walking around. Bobby practices "leadership by walking around" at his ballpark, not looking for problems, but talking to employees about their lives, families, and hobbies. This shows he cares, making people feel valued and inspiring them to take pride in their work, ultimately improving fan satisfaction.

9. Golden Rule 4: Don't Settle for Anything Less Than Excellence.

People are attracted to excellence, so when we live our lives with excellence, people view us in a different way than if they didn’t.

Attraction to excellence. Paul Diamond, a billionaire known for his brand synonymous with excellence, explains that people are naturally attracted to excellence. Living a life of excellence makes people respect and admire you, increasing your opportunity to influence them.

Three options. Life can be lived poorly, good, or excellently. To be a leader and influencer, choosing excellence is the most effective path. The "law of attraction" in this context means that how you live your life (your level of excellence) either attracts or repels people and business opportunities.

Seven areas of excellence. Paul Diamond focuses on continuous improvement in seven areas:

  • Physical appearance
  • Emotional health
  • Intellectual growth
  • Spiritual depth
  • Relationships (family, friends, business)
  • Financial success
  • Charitable giving

Excelling in these areas builds a strong foundation for influence.

10. Excellence applies to all areas of life, including small details.

Excellence is something we practice in even the smallest details.

Holistic excellence. Excellence isn't just about professional achievements; it applies to all aspects of life, including personal well-being and relationships. Neglecting areas like family or emotional health can create imbalance and diminish overall influence, regardless of financial success.

Leading by example. Demonstrating excellence in small details sets a powerful example. Paul Diamond picks up trash on his properties himself, showing staff that every detail matters. This inspires them to also pay attention to the small things, fostering a culture of excellence.

Giving back. Financial success and charitable giving go hand-in-hand in building influence. Making money gains attention, but giving it away gains even more influence and respect. Excelling in giving, regardless of the amount, makes the world better and increases your impact.

Last updated:

FAQ

What is "The Art of Influence" by Chris Widener about?

  • Modern Parable on Influence: The book is a business parable that follows Marcus Drake, a young MBA graduate, as he learns the true art of influence from billionaire Bobby Gold and other successful leaders.
  • Focus on Personal Transformation: It emphasizes that real influence is not about manipulation or persuasion techniques, but about who you become as a person.
  • Four Golden Rules: The narrative is structured around four core principles—integrity, positive attitude, valuing others, and excellence—that are essential for becoming a person of influence.
  • Practical and Relatable: Through engaging storytelling and real-world examples, the book provides actionable advice for anyone seeking to lead, sell, or make a difference.

Why should I read "The Art of Influence" by Chris Widener?

  • Timeless Leadership Lessons: The book distills complex ideas about influence and leadership into simple, memorable rules that can be applied in any area of life.
  • Story-Driven Learning: The parable format makes the lessons engaging and easy to remember, as you follow Marcus’s journey and personal growth.
  • Applicable to All Roles: Whether you’re a business leader, salesperson, parent, or community member, the principles are universally relevant.
  • Focus on Character: Unlike many business books, it prioritizes character and personal development over mere tactics or strategies.

What are the key takeaways from "The Art of Influence" by Chris Widener?

  • Influence Begins with You: True influence is about personal transformation and becoming the kind of person others want to follow or do business with.
  • Four Golden Rules: The book’s core is the Four Golden Rules of Influence: live with undivided integrity, always demonstrate a positive attitude, consider others’ interests more important than your own, and never settle for less than excellence.
  • Relationships Matter Most: Success in business and life is built on healthy, genuine relationships, not just skills or technical knowledge.
  • Long-Term Impact: Influence is about making a lasting, positive impact on others, not just achieving short-term wins.

Who are the main characters in "The Art of Influence" by Chris Widener, and what roles do they play?

  • Marcus Drake: The protagonist, a recent MBA graduate eager to achieve business success and learn the secrets of influence.
  • Bobby Gold: A flamboyant billionaire and master influencer who mentors Marcus, sharing his life lessons and the Four Golden Rules.
  • Beatrice (Grandma): Marcus’s grandmother, who arranges the life-changing mentorship with Bobby Gold, highlighting the power of personal connections.
  • Supporting Influencers: Other key figures include Tom Martin (baseball manager) and Paul Diamond (real estate mogul), who each embody and teach one of the Golden Rules.

What is Chris Widener’s definition of "influence" in "The Art of Influence"?

  • Influence vs. Persuasion: Widener distinguishes influence as the ability to change another person’s thoughts, beliefs, or actions through who you are, not just what you do or say.
  • Gift from Others: Influence is described as a gift that others give you—they choose to be influenced by you based on your character and actions.
  • Core of Leadership and Sales: Influence is presented as the essential competency for both leadership and sales, more important than technical skills or persuasive tactics.
  • Personal Transformation: The book stresses that influence is rooted in personal growth and authenticity, not manipulation.

What are the Four Golden Rules of Influence in "The Art of Influence" by Chris Widener?

  • Live a Life of Undivided Integrity: Always be honest and consistent; integrity is the foundation of trust and influence.
  • Always Demonstrate a Positive Attitude: Optimism attracts people and inspires them to follow; your attitude shapes your influence.
  • Consider Other People’s Interests as More Important Than Your Own: Genuine care for others builds likability and strong relationships, which are key to influence.
  • Don’t Settle for Anything Less Than Excellence: Strive for excellence in all areas of life; people are drawn to and influenced by those who set high standards.

How does "The Art of Influence" by Chris Widener differentiate between persuasion and influence?

  • Persuasion is Technique: Persuasion is about convincing others through arguments, presentations, or tactics—what you do to people.
  • Influence is Identity: Influence is about who you are and how you live; it’s about attracting others to your way of thinking by example.
  • Long-Term vs. Short-Term: Persuasion may win short-term compliance, but influence creates lasting change and loyalty.
  • Relational Approach: Influence is rooted in relationships and trust, while persuasion can sometimes feel manipulative or transactional.

What practical advice does "The Art of Influence" by Chris Widener offer for building influence?

  • Work on Yourself First: Focus on developing your character and skills, as people are influenced by who you are.
  • Be Consistent and Trustworthy: Small lapses in integrity can undermine your influence; always strive for wholeness and honesty.
  • Adopt a Positive Mindset: Use positive words and attitudes to inspire yourself and others, especially in challenging times.
  • Prioritize Others: Show genuine interest in people’s lives and needs, making them feel valued and understood.
  • Pursue Excellence: Pay attention to details and set high standards in every area, from appearance to emotional health to charitable giving.

How does "The Art of Influence" by Chris Widener use stories and examples to teach its lessons?

  • Mentorship Journey: The book follows Marcus’s real-life experiences with Bobby Gold and other leaders, making abstract principles concrete.
  • Relatable Scenarios: Everyday business and life situations—like sales meetings, leadership challenges, and personal setbacks—are used to illustrate each Golden Rule.
  • Memorable Analogies: Concepts like "fishing vs. hunting" are used to explain the difference between influence and persuasion in a vivid, memorable way.
  • Role Models: Each supporting character embodies a specific principle, showing how it works in practice.

What are some of the best quotes from "The Art of Influence" by Chris Widener, and what do they mean?

  • "Influence is a gift that others give to you." – Influence can’t be forced; it’s earned through character and trust.
  • "Live a life of undivided integrity." – Consistency and honesty are non-negotiable for lasting influence.
  • "People do business with people they like." – Relationships and likability are more important than products or prices.
  • "Don’t settle for anything less than excellence." – Excellence attracts others and sets you apart as a leader.

How can the Four Golden Rules from "The Art of Influence" by Chris Widener be applied in daily life or business?

  • Integrity in Small Things: Be honest even in minor matters; your reputation is built on everyday actions.
  • Positive Attitude at Work: Encourage colleagues, focus on solutions, and use uplifting language to foster a productive environment.
  • Value Others’ Interests: Listen actively, ask about people’s lives, and look for ways to help others succeed.
  • Pursue Excellence Everywhere: Set high standards for yourself in appearance, learning, relationships, and giving, inspiring others to do the same.

What makes "The Art of Influence" by Chris Widener different from other books on leadership and influence?

  • Character Over Technique: Unlike many books that focus on persuasion tactics, this book centers on personal transformation and character as the source of influence.
  • Storytelling Approach: The parable format makes the lessons accessible, memorable, and enjoyable to read.
  • Universal Principles: The Four Golden Rules are simple, timeless, and applicable to any area of life, not just business.
  • Emphasis on Giving Back: The book highlights the importance of using influence and success to help others and make a positive impact on the world.

Review Summary

3.77 out of 5
Average of 705 ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

The Art of Influence receives mostly positive reviews, praised for its concise yet impactful message. Readers appreciate the parable format and four golden rules of influence: integrity, positive attitude, prioritizing others' interests, and pursuing excellence. Many find the book's principles applicable beyond business, enhancing personal relationships and character development. Some critics argue it oversimplifies success and ignores systemic barriers. Overall, reviewers recommend it as a quick, inspiring read for those seeking to improve their leadership and influence skills.

Your rating:
4.31
46 ratings

About the Author

Chris Widener is a prominent figure in personal development and leadership. He's an accomplished speaker, sharing stages with political figures, news anchors, and athletes at prestigious organizations. Widener has authored numerous books and articles, produced audio programs, and co-hosts a nationally televised show with Zig Ziglar. His ezine boasts subscribers in 105 countries. In 2009, he founded Positively Republican, a large Facebook group promoting conservative ideals. Respected experts like Brian Tracy, Denis Waitley, and Jim Rohn praise Widener's expertise, considering him a rising star and leader in personal development and leadership.

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