The Baby Sleep Solution

1. Establish a consistent 12-hour sleep routine by 12 weeks

Just because you have children does not mean you have to live in a sleep-deprived coma for three to five years.

Sleep is trainable. Babies can be taught to sleep through the night, just like they learn to walk and talk. The goal is to have your baby sleeping 12 hours by 12 weeks old, without night feedings or parental intervention. This method has been successful with hundreds of babies, including multiples and those with special needs.

Consistent routine is key. Establish a bedtime routine that signals to your baby it's time to wind down. This may include:

• Dimming lights
• Playing soft music
• Giving a bath
• Reading a story
• Changing into nighttime clothes

Put baby to bed awake. Place your baby in the crib while still awake, allowing them to learn self-soothing skills. This is crucial for developing the ability to fall asleep independently and stay asleep throughout the night.

2. Follow the four foundations of baby sleep success

You must feel empowered as a parent. It is important to say to yourself, "I am the parent, I am in charge. You are the baby, you follow my guidelines."

Adapt to existing family. The baby should fit into the family's routine, not the other way around. This helps maintain a sense of normalcy and reduces stress for everyone.

Parental empowerment. Parents must feel confident in their decisions and set boundaries. This provides security and structure for the baby.

Sleep is a learned skill. Like other developmental milestones, sleeping through the night is a skill that can be taught and reinforced.

Commitment is crucial. Sleep training requires dedication and consistency from parents. The effort invested early on pays off in the long run with better sleep for the entire family.

3. Implement the four-step training process

My promise to you is that in two hours, you will have all the tools to be able to coach your baby to sleep through the night.

Step 1: Daytime feeding schedule. Establish four feedings spaced four hours apart during the day. This helps regulate the baby's hunger and sleep patterns.

Step 2: Eliminate night feedings. Gradually reduce the amount and frequency of nighttime feedings until they are eliminated entirely.

Step 3: Nighttime sleep training. Teach the baby to sleep or rest quietly in the crib for 12 hours at night.

Step 4: Daytime nap schedule. Establish a one-hour morning nap and a two-hour afternoon nap at consistent times each day.

4. Use the Limited Crying Solution for gentle sleep training

I feel this is a realistic middle ground between the "cry it out" method, which many parents cannot stomach, and the "no cry" method, which is unrealistic for many babies.

Balance crying and comfort. The Limited Crying Solution allows the baby to cry for 3-5 minutes before intervening. This gives the baby a chance to self-soothe without feeling abandoned.

Gradual independence. Parents provide reassurance without solving the problem entirely. This helps the baby develop self-soothing skills while feeling supported.

Consistent approach. Repeat the process as needed throughout the night, gradually increasing the time between interventions as the baby becomes more skilled at self-soothing.

5. Create and utilize daytime and nighttime toolboxes

Emotionally, babies need some soothing from Mom and Dad in order to learn how to soothe themselves.

Daytime toolbox:

• Bouncy seat with music or toys
• Activity mat or gym
• Pacifier
• Knee bouncing with nursery rhymes
• Favorite games and activities

Nighttime toolbox:

• Offer pacifier
• Pat baby's tummy
• Place hand firmly on baby's tummy
• Make shushing sounds
• Whisper reassuring phrases
• Turn baby to a comfortable position
• Show emotional toy or blanket
• Turn on crib music toy

Use these tools to help your baby stay calm and learn self-soothing skills during both daytime and nighttime training periods.

6. Adjust feeding schedules to support sleep training

What you do during the day is just as important as what you do at night.

Four feedings, four hours apart. Establish a daytime feeding schedule with four feedings spaced four hours apart. This helps regulate hunger and supports nighttime sleep.

Gradually eliminate night feedings. Reduce the amount of food given during night feedings over time, starting with the middle-of-the-night feeding. This encourages the baby to get more nutrition during the day and sleep longer at night.

Breastfeeding considerations. For breastfeeding mothers, count nursing minutes instead of ounces. Gradually reduce nursing time at night while increasing daytime feedings to maintain milk supply.

7. Maintain flexibility while reinforcing sleep habits

Babies establish new routines while away from home as well.

Consistent yet adaptable. While maintaining a consistent sleep routine is important, be prepared to make occasional adjustments for special circumstances like travel, illness, or family events.

Three-day rule. It generally takes three days to establish a new habit and three days to break it. Keep this in mind when making temporary changes to the routine.

Seven-day rule. Bad habits take three days to make but seven days to break. Be extra vigilant about reinforcing good sleep habits after disruptions.

8. Address common challenges and extreme circumstances

I am here to tell you that there is no excuse for not training your baby to sleep through the night.

Colic and reflux. Even babies with severe colic or acid reflux can be successfully sleep trained. Adaptations may be necessary, such as using bouncy seats in cribs for reflux babies.

Medical conditions. Babies with cleft palates, Down syndrome, and other medical issues can also learn to sleep through the night with appropriate modifications to the training process.

Older babies. While it's ideal to start sleep training early, the same principles can be applied to babies between 3-18 months old. Expect more resistance and longer crying periods initially, but stay consistent for positive results.

Last updated: August 8, 2024