The Elevated Communicator

1. Communication is the cornerstone of success in both personal and professional life

Communication is essential for cultivating trust and finding meaning. It's central to everything we do.

Effective communication builds trust. It allows us to express ideas clearly, collaborate efficiently, and build strong relationships. In the workplace, good communication skills are consistently ranked as one of the most desirable traits by employers. This is because communication impacts every aspect of business, from team dynamics to client relationships and overall productivity.

Communication affects well-being. When we communicate well, we reduce misunderstandings, conflicts, and stress. This leads to more positive work environments and increased job satisfaction. Conversely, poor communication can lead to tension, errors, and decreased morale. By prioritizing clear and open communication, we can create more meaningful connections and find greater purpose in our work.

2. Self-awareness is crucial for effective communication

Self-awareness is the foundation of all positive change; the more you learn, and the more you commit to the process of self-discovery, the more you set yourself up for success.

Understanding yourself is key. Self-awareness allows you to recognize your communication patterns, strengths, and weaknesses. This insight helps you adjust your approach when interacting with others, leading to more effective exchanges. It also enables you to identify and manage your emotional triggers, preventing reactive responses that can damage relationships.

Develop self-awareness through reflection. Regular self-reflection practices, such as journaling or seeking feedback, can help you gain a clearer picture of how you communicate. Pay attention to:

• Your communication style preferences
• How stress affects your communication
• Your emotional reactions in different situations
• The impact your communication has on others

By continually working on self-awareness, you can make conscious choices about how you communicate, rather than defaulting to unconscious habits.

3. Your communication style influences how you interact with others

Communication styles give us a framework for gaining a deeper understanding of Self; they make it easier to see our talents as well as our patterns of behavior that are often invisible to us.

Understand your style. The book identifies four primary communication styles:

• Expressive: Open, talkative, and outgoing
• Reserved: Confident, professional, and team-oriented
• Direct: Focused, candid, and results-driven
• Harmonious: Agreeable, patient, and cooperative

Each style has its strengths and weaknesses, and most people have a primary and secondary style. Recognizing your style helps you leverage your strengths and manage your weaknesses.

Adapt to others' styles. Understanding different communication styles allows you to:

• Recognize others' preferences and needs
• Adjust your approach to improve interactions
• Reduce misunderstandings and conflicts
• Build stronger, more productive relationships

By being aware of style differences, you can bridge gaps and create more effective communication across diverse teams.

4. Flexing your communication style can improve relationships and productivity

Flexing your style is about making two or three temporary behavioral adjustments to the way you communicate in order to intentionally put the other person at ease.

Flexibility enhances connections. By adapting your communication style to better match others', you can:

• Build rapport more quickly
• Reduce tension and misunderstandings
• Increase trust and openness
• Improve collaboration and productivity

Practice strategic flexing. To flex effectively:

1. Identify the other person's style
2. Recognize the gaps between your styles
3. Make small, temporary adjustments to bridge those gaps
4. Gradually return to your natural style once rapport is established

Remember, flexing is not about changing who you are, but about making others more comfortable to foster better communication.

5. Well-being significantly impacts communication effectiveness

When our well-being is low, we experience a disconnect between our self-awareness and how we express ourselves, which only leads to more misunderstandings and difficulties in our working relationships.

Prioritize self-care. Your physical, emotional, and mental well-being directly affect your ability to communicate effectively. When you're stressed, tired, or overwhelmed, you're more likely to:

• React emotionally
• Misinterpret others' intentions
• Struggle to listen actively
• Communicate unclearly or abruptly

Invest in your well-being. To improve your communication:

• Get adequate sleep
• Manage stress through relaxation techniques
• Practice mindfulness to stay present
• Maintain a healthy work-life balance
• Engage in regular physical activity
• Nurture positive relationships

By taking care of yourself, you create a strong foundation for effective communication and positive interactions with others.

6. Emotional intelligence is key to navigating workplace interactions

We all have the ability to own our emotional responses and change our behavior. The faster we recognize that we're in charge of and can choose how we behave, the faster we can heal the issues that make it more difficult to get along with people and build healthy relationships at work.

Develop emotional awareness. Emotional intelligence involves:

• Recognizing your own emotions and triggers
• Understanding others' emotions and perspectives
• Managing your emotional responses
• Influencing others' emotions positively

Practice emotional regulation. To improve your emotional intelligence:

• Identify your emotional triggers
• Use mindfulness techniques to stay present
• Practice empathy by considering others' viewpoints
• Choose your responses rather than reacting impulsively
• Use positive self-talk to manage negative emotions

By honing your emotional intelligence, you can navigate workplace relationships more skillfully and create a more positive work environment.

7. Conflict resolution skills are essential for maintaining healthy work relationships

Learning to address conflict when tensions arise or issues persist will make a significant difference in your relationships and well-being.

Address conflicts proactively. Ignoring conflicts often leads to:

• Increased tension and stress
• Decreased productivity
• Damaged relationships
• Toxic work environments

Develop conflict resolution skills. To effectively manage conflicts:

1. Identify the core issue
2. Acknowledge your role in the situation
3. Listen actively to understand all perspectives
4. Focus on facts rather than emotions
5. Collaborate on finding a mutually beneficial solution
6. Follow up to ensure the resolution is working

By addressing conflicts constructively, you can turn challenges into opportunities for growth and improved relationships.

8. Trust is the foundation of effective communication and teamwork

When trust is present we feel safe, which allows us to genuinely connect and work well together.

Build trust through actions. Trust is earned through consistent behavior. To cultivate trust:

• Be reliable and follow through on commitments
• Communicate openly and honestly
• Show vulnerability by admitting mistakes
• Respect confidentiality
• Demonstrate competence in your role
• Show genuine care for others' well-being

Maintain trust. Trust can be easily damaged. To preserve it:

• Address issues promptly and directly
• Avoid gossip and speaking negatively about others
• Be consistent in your words and actions
• Give credit where it's due
• Seek and provide constructive feedback

By prioritizing trust-building behaviors, you create an environment where open communication and collaboration can thrive.

9. Listening is a critical yet often overlooked communication skill

Real listening is rare—it requires our full attention, patience, and empathy.

Practice active listening. Effective listening involves:

• Giving your full attention to the speaker
• Avoiding interruptions or planning your response while others speak
• Using non-verbal cues to show engagement
• Asking clarifying questions
• Paraphrasing to ensure understanding

Overcome listening barriers. Common obstacles to effective listening include:

• Distractions (e.g., devices, multitasking)
• Preconceived notions or judgments
• Emotional reactions to what's being said
• The desire to offer solutions or advice prematurely

To improve your listening skills:

• Remove distractions during conversations
• Practice mindfulness to stay present
• Suspend judgment and focus on understanding
• Reflect on what you've heard before responding

By developing strong listening skills, you can build deeper connections, reduce misunderstandings, and create more productive and satisfying work relationships.

Last updated: August 8, 2024