The No Asshole Rule

1. Define and identify workplace assholes

After talking to the alleged asshole, does the "target" feel oppressed, humiliated, de-energized, or belittled by the person? In particular, does the target feel worse about him or herself?

Two-part test. To identify workplace assholes, apply a two-part test:

1. Does the person leave others feeling demeaned, de-energized, or belittled after interactions?
2. Does the person aim their venom at those with less power rather than those with more power?

Common behaviors. Assholes typically engage in a "dirty dozen" of actions:

• Personal insults
• Invading personal territory
• Uninvited physical contact
• Threats and intimidation
• Sarcastic jokes and teasing
• Withering email flames
• Status slaps
• Public shaming
• Rude interruptions
• Two-faced attacks
• Dirty looks
• Treating people as invisible

Temporary vs. certified. Distinguish between temporary assholes (occasional bad behavior) and certified assholes (persistent pattern of demeaning others). Most people act like assholes occasionally, but certified assholes consistently leave a trail of victims feeling worse about themselves.

2. Recognize the widespread damage caused by assholes

The difference between how a person treats the powerless versus the powerful is as good a measure of human character as I know.

Damage to victims. Assholes inflict significant harm on their targets:

• Reduced job satisfaction and productivity
• Increased stress, anxiety, and depression
• Physical health problems
• Diminished creativity and problem-solving abilities
• Higher turnover rates

Organizational costs. The presence of assholes negatively impacts the entire workplace:

• Lower overall productivity and quality of work
• Increased absenteeism and turnover
• Higher recruitment and training costs
• Damaged company reputation
• Potential legal liabilities

Ripple effects. The impact extends beyond direct victims:

• Witnesses and bystanders experience increased stress
• Colleagues become less cooperative and more fearful
• Organizational culture becomes toxic and fear-based
• Even assholes themselves may suffer career setbacks and reputational damage

To quantify these impacts, organizations can calculate their "Total Cost of Assholes" (TCA) by estimating expenses related to turnover, lost productivity, legal issues, and other asshole-related problems.

3. Implement and enforce a "No Asshole Rule"

Having all the right business philosophies and management practices to support the no asshole rule is meaningless unless you treat the person right in front of you, right now, in the right way.

Establish the rule. Clearly communicate and formalize a "No Asshole Rule" in your organization:

• Include it in company values and policies
• Discuss it during hiring and onboarding processes
• Make it a factor in performance evaluations and promotion decisions

Enforce consistently. Take action to uphold the rule:

• Screen out potential assholes during hiring
• Provide feedback and coaching to reform temporary assholes
• Remove persistent offenders, even if they are high performers
• Apply the rule to customers and clients, not just employees

Lead by example. Leadership must model respectful behavior:

• Demonstrate civility in all interactions
• Address small infractions immediately
• Celebrate those who uphold the rule
• Be willing to admit and correct your own asshole behavior

Remember that the rule is meaningless without consistent enforcement in everyday interactions. Focus on changing small behaviors and "managing moments" to create a lasting culture of respect.

4. Manage your inner jerk to avoid becoming an asshole

Admitting you're an asshole is the first step.

Self-awareness. Recognize your potential to become an asshole:

• Acknowledge past instances of bad behavior
• Understand your triggers and vulnerabilities
• Seek feedback from others on how you're perceived

Preventive strategies. Take proactive steps to avoid asshole behavior:

• Avoid joining groups or organizations filled with assholes
• Reframe competitive situations to focus on cooperation
• Practice empathy and consider others' perspectives
• Use the "asshole test" to evaluate your own actions

Course correction. When you slip up, take responsibility:

• Apologize sincerely for demeaning behavior
• Reflect on what led to the lapse
• Make concrete plans to prevent future occurrences

Remember that everyone has the potential to act like an asshole under certain conditions. Constant vigilance and self-reflection are necessary to keep your "inner jerk" in check.

5. Survive in an asshole-infested workplace

Dismiss whatever insults your soul.

Emotional detachment. Develop strategies to protect yourself:

• Reframe negative interactions to avoid self-blame
• Practice indifference to preserve your mental health
• Focus on small wins and areas where you have control

Limit exposure. Reduce contact with assholes when possible:

• Attend fewer meetings with known offenders
• Use technology to buffer interactions (e.g., email instead of in-person)
• Create "pockets of safety" with supportive colleagues

Strategic responses. When confrontation is necessary:

• Remain calm and professional
• Document abusive behavior
• Use humor or gentle re-education to defuse situations
• Seek support from HR or higher management if needed

While these strategies can help you cope, remember that long-term exposure to assholes is detrimental. Continue to seek ways to improve your situation or find a more positive work environment.

6. Understand the rare benefits of assholes

If you want to be the best asshole that you can possibly be for yourself and your organization, see "Do You Want to Be an Effective Asshole?"

Power and intimidation. Asshole behavior can sometimes:

• Help gain and maintain power in competitive environments
• Intimidate rivals and competitors
• Create a perception of competence or expertise

Motivation and performance. In specific contexts, asshole leaders might:

• Drive fear-based performance improvements
• Push for perfectionism and high standards
• Motivate through a mix of harsh criticism and rare praise

Necessary confrontations. Occasional "asshole moments" may be needed to:

• Stand up to unfair treatment or policies
• Confront truly incompetent or unethical behavior
• Push back against unreasonable customers or clients

However, these potential benefits are often outweighed by the significant damage assholes cause. Most successful people and organizations thrive because of their positive qualities, not their asshole tendencies.

7. Apply the No Asshole Rule as a way of life

We are all given only so many hours here on earth. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could travel through our lives without encountering people who bring us down with their demeaning remarks and actions?

Personal commitment. Embrace the No Asshole Rule in all aspects of life:

• Strive to treat everyone with respect, regardless of their status
• Be quick to recognize and correct your own asshole behavior
• Avoid associating with assholes in both personal and professional settings

Collective responsibility. Encourage others to uphold the rule:

• Speak up when you witness asshole behavior
• Support victims of demeaning treatment
• Celebrate and reward those who consistently treat others well

Cultural change. Work to create asshole-free environments:

• Advocate for No Asshole policies in your workplace
• Choose to do business with companies that value civility
• Raise children and mentor others to respect human dignity

By consistently applying the No Asshole Rule, we can create more positive, productive, and fulfilling environments for ourselves and others. Remember that small actions and everyday interactions are the building blocks of a more civil society.

Last updated: September 11, 2024