Key Takeaways
1. Pastoral counseling is a worthy labor of love for shepherding God's flock
Shepherds do not smell good. At least, good shepherds do not smell good. A good shepherd identifies with stinking sheep, and the scent rubs off.
Pastoral calling. Pastors are called to shepherd God's flock, which often involves caring for hurting, confused, or stubborn sheep. This labor is not always pleasant, but it is a worthy and necessary part of pastoral ministry. Counseling is an opportunity to walk alongside struggling people, demonstrating Christ-like love and care.
Biblical mandate. The Bible presents a clear mandate for pastors to engage in personal ministry. Jesus instructed Peter to "feed my sheep" (John 21:15-19), and the apostle Paul exemplified a ministry that combined public proclamation with personal care (1 Thessalonians 2:8-12). Pastoral counseling is an extension of this biblical model of shepherding.
Christ-centered approach. The ultimate goal of pastoral counseling is to help people grow in Christlikeness. This involves:
- Addressing the presenting problem
- Displaying the relevance of the gospel
- Helping people to grow in faith and obedience to Christ
2. Establish clear goals and a methodical approach to counseling
If we only perpetuate the things we were doing in the initial sessions, we merely overbuild the foundation, and nothing useful is created.
Three-part method. Effective pastoral counseling follows a methodical approach:
- Listen to the problem
- Consider heart responses
- Speak truth in love
This method helps pastors organize the counseling process and ensures that they address the core issues rather than just surface-level symptoms.
Explore four areas. When considering heart responses, pastors should explore how the person is responding to:
- God
- Self
- Others
- Circumstances
By examining these areas, pastors can gain a comprehensive understanding of the counselee's spiritual and emotional state, enabling them to provide more targeted and effective counsel.
3. The initial meeting sets the tone for the counseling relationship
Part of the counseling process occurs outside the meeting. To borrow language from 1 Peter 1:13–14, this homework is part of preparing the mind for action, of setting hope on the grace of Christ, and of compelling a soul away from evil desire.
Establish connection. The first meeting is crucial for building trust and rapport. Pastors should:
- Greet the counselee warmly
- Transition smoothly into the counseling conversation
- Demonstrate trust, mercy, love, and respect
Explore concerns. Use open-ended questions to allow the counselee to express their most pressing issues. Listen actively and ask follow-up questions to gather useful information about heart issues, not just superficial details.
Set expectations. Before concluding the initial meeting:
- Assign preparatory work (e.g., Bible reading, journaling)
- Clarify the counseling process (duration, frequency, boundaries)
- Schedule the next meeting
- Pray together, demonstrating heartfelt interaction with God about the counselee's specific situation
4. Laboring for change requires ongoing exploration and redemptive remedies
Counseling that is truly Christian will have much more: the person and work of Christ will be its theological and practical center. Christ and his gospel must be the foundation, means, and end of our counseling.
Ongoing exploration. Continue to delve deeper into the counselee's concerns by:
- Getting updates on recent developments
- Reviewing assigned preparatory work
- Exploring how the heart is actively responding to current circumstances
Offer redemptive remedies. Provide specific guidance rooted in Scripture and the gospel. Some strategies include:
- Reintroducing God's character and promises
- Challenging unbiblical assumptions and thought patterns
- Contrasting functional and confessional beliefs
- Reframing situations from a biblical perspective
- Uncovering underlying dynamics (e.g., fears, idols)
- Showing consequences of choices
- Confronting sin and reorienting toward Christ
- Setting short-term and long-term goals
Remember that change is often slow and incremental. Patience and persistence are key virtues in the counseling process.
5. The final meeting reviews progress and plans for continued care
Like the final paragraph of many a well-written essay, the final counseling session should summarize the main themes of your counseling.
Review and commend. The final meeting should:
- Summarize the main themes addressed during counseling
- Celebrate positive changes and growth in faith
- Acknowledge God's work in the counselee's life
Provide warnings. Offer hope-filled but sober warnings about potential pitfalls and strategies for maintaining progress.
Plan for ongoing care. Transition the counselee to regular means of grace within the church community:
- Public ministries of the Word (e.g., preaching, teaching)
- Personal ministries of the Word (e.g., small groups, accountability partnerships)
- Private ministries of the Word (e.g., personal Bible study, prayer)
Encourage continued growth and provide resources for self-study and reflection.
6. Foster a culture of discipleship within the church community
Discipleship requires members to labor for each other in love.
Shared responsibility. Cultivate a church culture where discipleship is a shared responsibility among all members, not just the pastor's job. This involves:
- Teaching the biblical mandate for mutual care and discipleship
- Modeling discipleship relationships
- Equipping members to counsel and care for one another
Expectations for members. Communicate clear expectations for church members:
- Meaningful membership that involves commitment to the body
- Willingness to be discipled and to disciple others
- Active participation in the life of the church
Equipping the congregation. Provide training and resources to help members grow in their ability to counsel and care for one another. This can include:
- Teaching on biblical counseling principles
- Offering small group curricula on discipleship
- Inviting members to observe counseling sessions (with permission)
7. Wisely utilize outside resources to supplement pastoral care
As a pastor you serve in a role of spiritual authority over your church members' lives (Ezekiel 34; Heb. 13:7; 1 Pet. 5:1–4). But anyone who has pastored knows that his voice is one among many.
Know your limits. Recognize when to seek additional help:
- When you're maxed out and lack support
- When you've reached the limits of your insight
- When medical or psychiatric issues are present
- When legal reporting requirements arise
Types of outside resources:
- Church or parachurch counseling
- Professional counseling
- Medical or psychiatric help
Criteria for referrals. When referring to outside resources, look for:
- Biblical faithfulness and competence
- A loving, gracious demeanor
- Patience and persistence
- Willingness to communicate with the pastor
- Affordability and accessibility
Remember that referral is not a hand-off of responsibility but a supplement to pastoral care. Maintain spiritual oversight and help members discern the counsel they receive from outside sources.
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FAQ
What’s "The Pastor and Counseling" by Jeremy Pierre and Deepak Reju about?
- Practical guide for pastors: The book is a concise, practical primer for pastors on how to approach counseling as a core part of their shepherding role.
- Biblical counseling focus: It emphasizes counseling that is grounded in the sufficiency and authority of Scripture, centering on the gospel of Jesus Christ as both the means and goal of change.
- Framework and process: The authors provide a clear framework and step-by-step process for counseling, from initial contact to final meeting, within the context of church life.
- Equipping the church: The book also addresses how to build a culture of discipleship and shared care within the church, so pastors are not laboring alone.
Why should I read "The Pastor and Counseling" by Jeremy Pierre and Deepak Reju?
- Addresses real pastoral needs: Most pastors receive little counseling training but face complex issues in their congregations; this book fills that gap with practical, biblical wisdom.
- Accessible and concise: The book is intentionally short and straightforward, making it easy for busy pastors to digest and apply.
- Gospel-centered approach: It keeps Christ and the gospel at the center of all counseling, ensuring that advice is not just practical but spiritually transformative.
- Encourages shared ministry: It helps pastors avoid burnout by promoting a culture where counseling and discipleship are shared among church members.
What are the key takeaways from "The Pastor and Counseling"?
- Shepherds must labor personally: Pastoral ministry involves both public preaching and personal care, including counseling through suffering and sin.
- Three main counseling goals: Address the presenting problem, display the relevance of the gospel, and help people grow in Christlikeness.
- Simple counseling method: The core method is to listen, consider heart responses, and speak the truth in love, always rooted in Scripture.
- Counseling is a church-wide effort: Building a culture of discipleship and equipping others to counsel is essential for healthy, sustainable ministry.
How does "The Pastor and Counseling" define biblical counseling?
- Ministry of the Word: Biblical counseling is a ministry where Christians help others understand how their hearts are responding to God amid specific life circumstances.
- Christ as means and goal: True change comes through faith in Christ, and the aim is to help people become more like Him.
- Addresses thoughts and desires: Counseling explores thoughts, beliefs, desires, feelings, decisions, and actions in light of God’s revealed will.
- Unapologetically biblical categories: The book uses biblical terms like pride, lust, anger, fear, and suffering, rather than purely psychological labels.
What is the counseling method recommended in "The Pastor and Counseling"?
- Three-step process: The method is to listen to the problem, consider heart responses, and speak the truth in love.
- Four key areas: In each step, consider the counselee’s relationship to circumstances, other people, self, and God.
- Scripture-driven: All advice and guidance are rooted in the Bible, aiming to promote faith and Christlikeness.
- Practical tools: The book provides checklists, note-taking methods, and sample questions to help structure sessions.
What are the main goals of counseling according to "The Pastor and Counseling"?
- Address the presenting problem: Tackle the immediate issue that brings someone to counseling, with practical and biblical wisdom.
- Display the relevance of the gospel: Show how the gospel reframes and brings hope to every problem, exposing self-reliance and pointing to Christ.
- Help people grow in Christlikeness: The ultimate aim is transformation into the image of Christ, not just symptom relief or problem-solving.
- Measure by spiritual growth: Success is seen in changed desires, behaviors, and thought patterns aligned with Christ.
How does "The Pastor and Counseling" suggest handling the initial counseling meeting?
- Establish relational connection: Build trust, show mercy, love, and respect, and set a welcoming tone.
- Explore the concern: Use open-ended questions to understand the person’s story, focusing on heart issues, not just surface details.
- Display hope: Use Scripture to instill hope, showing how God’s character and promises apply to the situation.
- Set expectations: Assign prep work (often Scripture-based), clarify boundaries, and schedule follow-up meetings.
What does "The Pastor and Counseling" say about ongoing counseling sessions?
- Get an update: Start each session by asking about recent developments and the counselee’s current state.
- Review prep work: Discuss assigned homework to reinforce learning and application of Scripture.
- Continue exploring concerns: Delve deeper into heart responses, patterns, and underlying dynamics as life unfolds.
- Offer redemptive remedies: Suggest practical, gospel-centered steps, set short- and long-term goals, and provide encouragement or confrontation as needed.
How should counseling end according to "The Pastor and Counseling"?
- Review main themes: Summarize what God has done, commend growth, and warn about potential pitfalls.
- Plan for regular care: Transition the counselee back to the regular ministries of the church—public, personal, and private means of grace.
- Set clear expectations: Communicate the end of formal counseling in advance and clarify ongoing availability for support.
- Leave the door open: Encourage continued connection and openness to future help if needed.
How does "The Pastor and Counseling" advise pastors to avoid counseling burnout?
- Build a culture of discipleship: Encourage all church members to participate in mutual care and spiritual growth.
- Equip others: Teach and model counseling skills, and use lay counseling resources to multiply care.
- Share the load: Involve small group leaders, mature believers, and other staff in the counseling process.
- Set boundaries: Be clear about time, availability, and the limits of what one pastor can do.
What guidance does "The Pastor and Counseling" give on using outside resources and referrals?
- Know when to refer: Seek outside help when problems exceed your expertise, require medical attention, or involve legal/abuse issues.
- Stay involved: Referral is not handing off responsibility; maintain spiritual oversight and help members process outside advice biblically.
- Choose wisely: Look for counselors and doctors who are biblically grounded, competent, patient, and willing to communicate with the church.
- Balance medical and spiritual care: Encourage medical help when needed, but always integrate it with ongoing spiritual guidance.
What are the best quotes from "The Pastor and Counseling" and what do they mean?
- “Shepherds do not smell good. At least, good shepherds do not smell good. A good shepherd identifies with stinking sheep, and the scent rubs off.”
- Pastoral care is messy, personal, and requires deep involvement in people’s lives, not just distant leadership.
- “Counseling in its simplest form is one person seeking to walk alongside another person who has lost his or her way.”
- The heart of counseling is relational and supportive, not just technical or professional.
- “The goal, rather, is to give you confidence that in the gospel you have the categories you need to navigate the troubles of your people.”
- The gospel provides the ultimate framework for understanding and addressing all human problems.
- “A culture of discipleship means that members don’t have to sign up for anything or get permission to love one another.”
- True church health is seen when mutual care and spiritual growth are normal, organic, and expected among all members.
- “Referral is not a handing off, but a problem-specific supplement to the biblical view of life you are responsible to instill.”
- Even when using outside help, the pastor’s role in spiritual oversight and biblical guidance remains central.
Review Summary
The Pastor and Counseling receives positive reviews for its practical, concise approach to pastoral counseling. Readers appreciate its biblical foundation, clear process outline, and emphasis on discipleship within the church. The book is praised for its usefulness to both pastors and laypeople interested in biblical counseling. Some readers note its limitations in addressing complex issues, but overall it is highly recommended as an introductory resource. The appendices and checklists are considered particularly valuable. Many reviewers express intentions to revisit the book as a reference in their ministry.
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