The Power of Body Language

1. Nonverbal Communication is the Dominant, Honest Language

Nonverbal behaviors comprise approximately 60 to 65 percent of all interpersonal communication and, during lovemaking, can constitute 100 percent of communication between partners (Burgoon, 1994, 229–285).

Beyond spoken words. Nonverbal communication, or body language, is the primary way humans transmit information. It includes facial expressions, gestures, posture, touch, physical movements, and even vocal tone. Unlike consciously crafted verbal messages, nonverbal cues often reveal a person's true thoughts, feelings, and intentions because people are less aware they are sending them.

A universal language. Nonverbals are ubiquitous and reliable across cultures. They allow us to communicate and understand others even without a shared spoken language, as the author experienced as a child immigrant. Learning to read these "tells" provides hidden insight into human behavior, enhancing personal and professional interactions.

Actions speak louder. Body language can contradict verbal statements, offering a more truthful account of a person's state of mind. Observing nonverbals helps clarify spoken words and provides a powerful tool for assessing others, whether in business, relationships, or even detecting potential threats.

2. Our Limbic Brain Drives Instinctive, Honest Reactions

Because it is uniquely responsible for our survival, the limbic brain does not take breaks. It is always “on.”

The honest brain. The limbic system, the mammalian part of our brain, reacts instantaneously and reflexively to the environment without conscious thought. This makes the behaviors it generates, unlike those from the thinking neocortex, genuine and reliable indicators of our true state.

Survival responses. The limbic brain's core survival strategy manifests in three primary, hardwired responses to perceived danger or stress:

• Freeze: Holding still to avoid detection (like a "deer in the headlights").
• Flight: Attempting to escape or distance oneself from the threat.
• Fight: Confronting the threat through aggression.

Ancient legacy. These responses are retained from our evolutionary history and are difficult to suppress. Observing these reactions provides direct insight into a person's immediate emotional state and perceived level of threat or comfort.

3. Pacifying Behaviors Reveal Stress and Discomfort

As you study nonverbal behavior, you will discover that whenever there is a limbic response—especially to a negative or threatening experience—it will be followed by what I call pacifying behaviors (Navarro, 2007, 141–163).

Self-soothing actions. Pacifying behaviors are actions the body performs to calm itself down after experiencing stress or discomfort. These are automatic responses orchestrated by the limbic brain to restore a sense of well-being.

Common pacifiers: These behaviors vary but often involve self-touch or repetitive actions:

• Neck touching/stroking (especially the suprasternal notch for women)
• Face touching/rubbing (forehead, cheeks, lips)
• Leg cleansing (rubbing hands on thighs)
• Object manipulation (pens, jewelry, clothing)
• Exhaling with puffed cheeks or excessive yawning

Indicators of internal state. Pacifying behaviors are powerful tells because they reveal a person is experiencing unease, anxiety, or distress in real-time. Identifying the specific stimulus that triggers pacifying helps pinpoint what is troubling the individual, providing valuable insight into their thoughts and feelings.

4. The Feet and Legs are the Most Honest Body Parts

For millions of years, long before humans spoke, our legs and feet reacted to environmental threats (e.g., hot sand, meandering snakes, ill-tempered lions) instantaneously, without the need for conscious thought.

Evolutionary honesty. The feet and legs are the most honest part of the body because they have been our primary means of survival (locomotion, escape, defense) for millions of years, reacting instinctively via the limbic system. Unlike the face, they are less consciously controlled or used for deception.

Key foot/leg tells:

• Happy feet: Wiggling/bouncing indicates excitement or high confidence.
• Foot direction: Feet pointing towards something/someone indicates interest/desire to engage; pointing away indicates disinterest/desire to leave (intention cue).
• Leg crossing: Indicates comfort and confidence; sudden uncrossing signals discomfort or perceived threat.
• Leg splay: A territorial or dominance display, indicating readiness to stand ground or potential conflict.

Under the table truth. Even when hidden under furniture, foot and leg movements can often be detected through subtle shifts in the body above the table. Paying attention to these lower-limb signals provides uncensored information about a person's true sentiments and intentions.

5. The Torso Reveals Protection, Confidence, and Status

Because the torso houses many vital internal organs, such as the heart, lungs, liver, and digestive tract, we can anticipate that the brain will seek to diligently protect this area when threatened or challenged.

Protecting the core. The torso, or trunk, is instinctively protected by the limbic brain due to its vital contents. This leads to nonverbal behaviors that reveal comfort, discomfort, and perceived threat.

Torso tells:

• Torso lean: Leaning away from something/someone indicates dislike or discomfort; leaning towards indicates interest or comfort.
• Ventral denial/fronting: Turning the front (ventral) side away indicates dislike/discomfort; exposing it indicates comfort/favor.
• Torso shield: Using arms, objects (pillows, purses), or even clothing (buttoning jackets) to create a barrier indicates insecurity or discomfort.
• Torso splay: Spreading out indicates comfort or, in confrontational settings, territorial dominance.

Body as billboard. The torso is also a canvas for displaying status and identity through clothing and adornments. While clothing can be manipulated, the underlying protective or expansive behaviors of the torso are more reliable indicators of a person's internal state.

6. Arms and Hands Express Emotion, Status, and Intent

Because our hands can execute very delicate movements, they can reflect very subtle nuances within the brain.

Expressive appendages. The arms and hands are highly visible and capable of complex movements, making them powerful communicators of emotion, status, and intention. Our brains are hardwired to pay close attention to hand movements.

Key arm/hand tells:

• Gravity-defying movements: Raising arms high indicates excitement/joy; drooping arms indicate sadness/dejection.
• Arm withdrawal/restriction: Pulling arms close or restricting movement indicates fear, stress, or insecurity.
• Arms akimbo: Hands on hips (especially thumbs back) is a strong territorial/dominance display.
• Steepling: Touching fingertips together is a powerful high-confidence signal.
• Thumb displays: Thumbs up indicates high confidence/status; thumbs in pockets (fingers out) indicates low confidence/status.
• Hand-wringing/rubbing: Indicates stress, nervousness, or low confidence (a pacifier).

Beyond gestures. The appearance of hands (calluses, scars, tattoos) can also provide clues about a person's lifestyle or history. Handshakes are significant first points of contact, and their quality can influence perception.

7. The Face is Expressive but Can Be Deceptive

With all the various muscles that precisely control the mouth, lips, eyes, nose, forehead, and jaw, human faces are richly endowed to produce an immense variety of expressions.

Mind's canvas. The face is the most expressive part of the body, capable of thousands of expressions that convey emotions like happiness, sadness, anger, fear, surprise, and disgust universally.

Facial tells:

• Eye blocking: Closing or shielding eyes indicates dislike or discomfort with what is seen or heard.
• Pupil changes: Dilation indicates interest/liking; constriction indicates dislike/discomfort (often with squinting).
• Eyebrow arching: Indicates positive feelings/confidence; lowering indicates negative feelings/insecurity.
• Real vs. fake smiles: Genuine smiles involve muscles around the eyes (crow's feet); fake smiles primarily use mouth muscles.
• Lip compression/disappearing lips: Indicates stress, anxiety, or displeasure.
• Lip purse: Indicates disagreement or considering an alternative idea.
• Sneer: A fleeting sign of contempt or disrespect.

Potential for deception. While highly expressive, the face is also the part of the body we are most trained to control and use for deception. Therefore, facial cues should be interpreted cautiously and ideally corroborated by other body language signals.

8. Detecting Deception is Difficult; Focus on Discomfort and Change

most people—both laypersons and professionals—are not very good at detecting lies.

The challenge of deceit. Accurately detecting deception is extremely difficult, and most people are only slightly better than chance. There is no single behavior that definitively indicates lying; behaviors often mistaken for deceit are merely signs of stress.

Focus on discomfort, not lies. Instead of looking for "lying tells," focus on identifying signs of discomfort and deviations from a person's baseline behavior. Liars often experience stress due to the cognitive load of fabricating information and the fear of getting caught.

Key indicators of potential deception (often linked to discomfort):

• Increased pacifying behaviors.
• Restricted or frozen body movements (especially arms and hands).
• Distancing behaviors (leaning away, creating barriers).
• Asynchrony between verbal statements and nonverbal cues (e.g., saying "no" while nodding yes).
• Delayed or less emphatic emphasis compared to truthful statements.
• Changes in eye-blink rate or eyelid fluttering.
• Hard swallows or throat clearing.

Proceed with caution. These behaviors are indicators of stress, which may be caused by deception, but can also be caused by nervousness, fear of being disbelieved, or the difficulty of the topic itself. Never declare someone a liar based on a single nonverbal cue; look for clusters of behaviors and verify information through facts.

9. Mastering Observation and Context is Fundamental

Concerted (effortful) observation—is absolutely essential to reading people and detecting their nonverbal tells successfully.

The foundation of reading people. Becoming a skilled observer is the most basic requirement for understanding nonverbal communication. This involves actively using all senses to notice subtle changes in a person's behavior and environment.

Essential principles for observation:

• Be a competent observer: Look beyond the obvious; notice details.
• Observe in context: Understand the situation to interpret behaviors accurately.
• Recognize universal behaviors: Learn cues common to most people (e.g., lip compression).
• Recognize idiosyncratic behaviors: Identify cues unique to a specific individual.
• Establish baseline behaviors: Note how a person acts normally to spot deviations.
• Look for multiple tells (clusters): Corroborate observations with reinforcing signals.
• Note changes in behavior: Sudden shifts signal changes in thoughts, emotions, or intent.
• Distinguish comfort from discomfort: This is a fundamental framework for interpretation.
• Be subtle: Observe without making the other person feel scrutinized.

Continuous practice. Observation is a skill that improves with practice. By consciously applying these principles, you can move from merely looking to truly seeing, unlocking the rich information conveyed by body language in all aspects of life.

Last updated: June 23, 2025