The Stress Prescription

1. Chronic Stress is Toxic: Lower Your Baseline.

Chronic stress, the type that goes on for years and years, has a toxic effect on your body.

Modern stress is constant. Unlike the acute, short-lived stress our ancestors faced (like running from a predator), modern life exposes us to chronic, low-level stress triggers constantly. Demands, deadlines, logistics, and even our own thoughts keep our nervous system "turned on" all the time, leading to a perpetually high stress baseline. This isn't healthy; our bodies are built for a "peak-and-recovery" stress response, not constant vigilance.

Toxic effects accumulate. This chronic stress state, often felt as cognitive overload or unconscious vigilance (yellow mind), elevates stress hormones like cortisol, oxidative stress, and inflammation. Over time, this wears down our cells prematurely, damaging mitochondria (cellular batteries) and shortening telomeres (protective caps on chromosomes). Short telomeres are linked to earlier onset of age-related diseases and reduced vitality.

Deep rest is missing. Our high baseline prevents us from accessing true, deep rest states (blue mind) where biological restoration and cell regeneration can occur. We confuse passive relaxation (green mind) with restorative rest. To combat the toxic effects of chronic stress and accelerate biological aging, we must actively work to lower our default stress baseline and access deeper states of rest.

2. Embrace Uncertainty: Expect the Unexpected.

We need to shift our mindset to accept uncertainty as the defining condition of our lives, instead of fighting against it or feeling threatened by it.

Uncertainty fuels stress. Our brains crave predictability and certainty for safety, but life is inherently uncertain. When faced with ambiguity, our nervous system goes on high alert, scanning for danger, which depletes energy and keeps us in a vigilant state. This "uncertainty stress" is subtle, pervasive, and highly toxic when chronic, contributing significantly to anxiety and depression.

Fighting reality hurts. Trying to control or predict the uncontrollable future leads to a prolonged fight-or-flight response. My friend Bryan, drafted into the Soviet Army, found immense relief when he stopped fighting his uncontrollable situation and accepted the uncertainty. This mental pivot allowed him to find joy even in harsh conditions.

Loosen your grip. Strong expectations, whether positive or negative, set us up for distress when violated. By loosening our attachment to how things "should" go and embracing an "I don't know" mindset – one of curiosity and openness – we reduce the "violation of expectation" effect. This flexible mindset, cultivated through practices like mindfulness, makes us more resilient when the unexpected inevitably happens.

3. Control What You Can, Release the Rest.

A sense of control is one of the pivotal factors that drives our stress levels up and down.

Control reduces stress. Feeling a sense of power over our lives, work, and daily circumstances significantly lowers stress, anxiety, and physical symptoms. It enhances emotional stability and resilience, allowing for a healthy peak-and-recovery stress response. This is particularly protective for older adults and caregivers facing uncontrollable challenges.

Trying to control the uncontrollable is toxic. While control is beneficial when achievable, attempting to exert influence over situations beyond our power (like another person's behavior, illness trajectories, or global events) is detrimental. This constant struggle against reality keeps our stress baseline elevated. Like baboons fighting for dominance in an unstable hierarchy, we suffer when we can't achieve the control we seek.

Sort your stressors. Identify what you can influence and what you cannot. Focus your energy on the former, taking small actions to improve situations within your sphere of influence. For the latter, practice radical acceptance – acknowledging the reality of the situation without fighting it. This doesn't mean passive resignation, but dropping the mental "rope" tied to the immovable "boulder" of the uncontrollable, freeing up energy and reducing suffering.

4. Be the Lion: See Stress as a Challenge, Not a Threat.

The difference between the lion and the gazelle? The gazelle perceived a threat: her life was in danger. The lion perceived a challenge: her next meal.

Perception shapes response. We respond to stress based on how we perceive it – as a life-threatening danger (gazelle mode) or a manageable challenge (lion mode). A challenge mindset, characterized by feelings of control and adequate resources, leads to a healthier physiological response (increased cardiac output, less vasoconstriction) and is linked to better health and longer telomeres.

Your stress response is an asset. Instead of fearing the physical sensations of stress (racing heart, energy surge), reframe them as your body mobilizing resources to help you perform. Studies show that viewing stress as helpful improves performance and reduces negative emotional and physiological reactivity. Tell yourself: "This stress is a potent energetic resource that's going to help me do well."

Reframe threats to challenges.

• Failure: Not a sign you're inadequate, but that you're challenging yourself. Expect mistakes as part of growth.
• Impostor Syndrome: Counter self-doubt by focusing on your skills, competencies, and past successes. Remind yourself, "I have what it takes."
• Overwhelming Stakes: Gain perspective by asking, "How much will this matter in a week? A year? A decade?"
• Negative Feelings: Reappraise stress as "exciting" to shift your emotional state.

Diversify your identity beyond one role (like Kevin Love the basketball player or Steven the mayor) so setbacks in one area don't threaten your entire sense of self-worth. Use values affirmations to ground yourself in your core identity: "I am enough."

5. Train Your Body with Positive Stress for Resilience.

It turns out that exposing the body to manageable positive stress does the opposite of what long-term toxic stress does: it improves the health and regenerative life span of your cells, instead of slowly wearing them out.

Hormetic stress benefits cells. Short, intense bursts of manageable stress, known as hormetic stress, trigger beneficial recovery processes in the body. This is like a "self-cleaning" button for cells, activating autophagy (waste cleanup) and promoting rejuvenation. It's a "vaccine" for stress, making your body more resilient to future stressors.

Exercise is a classic hormetic stressor. Physical activity, especially high-intensity interval training (HIIT), effectively induces this peak-and-recovery response. Even short bursts (7-14 minutes several times a week) can improve cardiovascular and nervous system resilience, boost positive emotions, and protect against chronic stress effects, even at the cellular level (longer telomeres in caregivers who exercised).

Cold and heat also work. Exposure to cold (cold showers, ice baths) or heat (saunas) for short periods also triggers hormetic stress. The Wim Hof method combines cold exposure with specific breathing techniques to induce a powerful stress response followed by deep recovery. These practices train your body to tolerate discomfort and improve emotional resilience, offering alternative ways to build stress fitness, even if you can't do intense exercise.

6. Let Nature Recalibrate Your Nervous System.

Nature, it seemed, was a powerful antianxiety drug.

Nature calms the mind. Our modern urban environments, filled with constant stimuli and screen time, contribute to cognitive overload and a vigilant "yellow mind" state. Immersing ourselves in nature, even urban green spaces, provides a sanctuary that reduces human-created stimuli and allows our nervous system to recalibrate. This leads to an "attentional restoration effect," freeing up mental space.

Sensory input matters. Nature affects us through our senses: calming sounds (waves, wind, birdsong), soothing visuals (greens, natural shapes), and beneficial smells (plant compounds). Water, in particular, seems to induce "blue mind" states of deep peace and well-being, potentially by reducing muscle tension and blood pressure, and increasing interoception (body awareness).

Awe provides perspective. Experiencing awe in nature – encountering vastness like mountains or the ocean – immediately reduces stress, lowers blood pressure, and improves heart rate variability. It shrinks our sense of self, connects us to something larger, and shifts our perspective, making our problems seem smaller. Regular "awe walks" or simply noticing the nature around you can provide these benefits, fostering resilience and counteracting rumination.

7. Prioritize Deep Rest and Restorative Breathing.

Deep rest is a right, not a luxury.

Relaxation isn't enough. Our default "yellow mind" state, characterized by shallow, rapid breathing and unconscious tension, is not truly restful. We need to go beyond mere relaxation to achieve deep rest (blue mind), a state of alert restoration where the body performs critical rejuvenation processes like cellular cleanup and tissue repair. This is essential for breaking the cycle of chronic stress arousal.

Breathing controls state. Our breathing patterns are tightly linked to our nervous system state. Shallow, fast breathing signals stress, while slow, deep breathing signals safety and promotes parasympathetic activity (rest and digest). By intentionally altering our breath, we can directly influence our physiological and emotional state, moving towards calm and deep rest.

Practice restorative breathing. Techniques like 4-6-8 breathing (inhale 4, hold 6, exhale 8) or resonant breathing (around 6 breaths per minute) slow down respiration, increase oxygen availability, improve heart rate variability (vagal tone), and reduce blood pressure. Practicing light, slow, nasal, and diaphragmatic breathing throughout the day is fundamental functional breathing. Brief breath holding can also increase CO2 tolerance, reducing anxiety. Creating a safe, quiet space and disconnecting from demands enhances the effectiveness of these practices.

8. Cultivate Joy and Gratitude Daily.

joy will float your boat.

Joy buffers stress. Experiencing positive emotions – from simple contentment to deep purpose (eudaimonia) – acts as a powerful buffer against stress. Joy doesn't eliminate stressors, but it changes how we perceive and react to them, making us less reactive and more resilient. It broadens our attention, improves problem-solving, boosts creativity, and enhances social connections.

Seek contentment, not just pleasure. While sensory pleasures (delicious food, massage, sex) provide temporary dopamine hits and reduce stress in the moment, they don't build lasting happiness. Constantly chasing fleeting pleasure can lead to a volatile emotional state and even addiction. Sustainable happiness comes from stable sources like contentment, gratitude, purpose, and meaningful relationships, regulated by serotonin.

Practice daily joy and gratitude.

• Morning: Start your day by focusing on what you're looking forward to and what you're grateful for. This sets a positive trajectory and calibrates your stress response.
• Evening: End your day by reflecting on moments of joy, kindness, or gratitude. Savor these positive experiences to fill your mind before sleep.
• Kindness: Perform small acts of kindness for others; it boosts positive emotions in both the giver and receiver.
• Savor: Pay attention to and appreciate small sensory delights throughout the day.
• Identify Joy: If struggling, ask yourself repeatedly, "What brings me joy?" to uncover hidden sources.

These "bliss bookends" and daily practices build a reserve of positive emotion, providing the mental and emotional resources needed to navigate challenges with greater ease and resilience.

9. Find Purpose and Active Hope.

Perhaps what we need most of all to carry stress well is purpose.

Purpose is stress buffering. Having a sense of meaning and purpose in life is one of the most powerful ways to build stress resilience. It provides a "North Star" that guides our energy and attention, making us less vulnerable to feeling overwhelmed by daily stressors or existential crises like the climate crisis.

Active hope combats despair. In times of volatile uncertainty and global challenges, it's easy to feel hopeless. Abstract hope is fragile, but "active hope" – hope infused with caring action – is durable. Engaging in actions aligned with your values, even small ones, combats despair and creates a sense of agency and positive impact.

You already make a difference. You don't need to solve global problems or achieve massive goals to have purpose. Recognize the meaning in your existing roles (parent, friend, colleague) and the positive impact you already have on others, often in unseen ways. Small acts of kindness and contributions to your community create ripple effects beyond your knowledge.

Connect and contribute. Purpose often stems from connection to something larger than yourself – community, nature, a cause. Engaging in collective action, even locally, can provide a sense of shared purpose and combat feelings of isolation and powerlessness. Aligning your actions with your values and contributing to the greater good, however small, lightens your load and buoys you forward.

Last updated: May 9, 2025