Unfinished Business

1. Lessons from the Other Side

You have your whole lives ahead of you still. Don’t keep messing them up.

Spirits gain perspective. When souls shed their physical bodies, they see life with newfound clarity, like having Lasik surgery for the spirit. They understand why certain events happened, recognize the value of others (even enemies), and see mistakes made due to ego. This expanded view makes them eager to share wisdom with the living.

Guidance often ignored. Despite spirits offering profound guidance, people are often more amazed by evidential details (names, death scenarios) than by the life lessons offered. The author's work over 25 years reveals a consistent theme: spirits want us to learn from their experiences and avoid repeating their mistakes.

Opportunity in tragedy. Tragedies, like the accidental death of a child, can be opportunities to create good, but often lead to blame and guilt instead. Spirits encourage turning mistakes into gifts to the world, emphasizing that perpetuating guilt misses the chance to honor those lost by living a better life.

2. The Weight of Guilt

By understanding that guilt doesn’t change anything, other than to make us feel bad, perhaps we can begin to let it go.

Guilt is inherent. Guilt is a common human coping mechanism, signaling perceived wrongdoing, but it often becomes irrational self-condemnation. We hold ourselves to higher standards than others, struggling to forgive our own mistakes even when they are beyond our control.

Devastating effects. Guilt, including self-imposed and survivor's guilt, can devastate lives, leading to depression, sadness, numbness, and a lack of interest in living. The story of Ginny and Neil losing their son Ben highlights how guilt and blame can destroy relationships, even when the spirit offers love and forgiveness.

Recognizing its purpose. Guilt's function is to prompt behavior change when we've done something wrong. The first step is acknowledging the feeling and apologizing, followed by taking action to correct the behavior. However, for things we cannot change, like a loved one's death, self-condemnation is unproductive and must be released through acceptance and forgiveness.

3. Releasing Regret

When we rehash our past decisions over and over in our minds, we can create regrets that corrode our present lives.

Regret focuses backward. Like guilt, regret keeps our minds fixated on the past, lamenting missed opportunities, denied dreams, or how we treated others. Getting older often brings a broader perspective, highlighting the consequences of past choices and fueling deep longings for what could have been.

Sources of regret:

• Lost experiences or missed chances
• Dreams denied due to fear or lack of self-esteem
• Taking the easy way out instead of testing abilities
• How we treated family members or friends

Family regrets run deep. Much of the author's work involves spirits regretting lost moments with family due to stubbornness, feuds, or narrow-mindedness. The story of Jenny disowning her son Bobby over his sexuality, only to regret it deeply after his death, illustrates how rigid beliefs can lead to immense heartache and unfinished business.

4. Choosing Love Over Fear

Love is the one force, the one energy, of which we are all made.

Love is expansive. Love is the fundamental energy of the universe, the opposite of fear. While love is limitless and evolving, fear is a false god that creates limitation, discomfort, and conflict. Living in fear goes against our natural state as spiritual beings.

Fear immobilizes. Fear can paralyze us, making life seem difficult and clouding our ability to see opportunities. Frank, who became a recluse after his wife Karen's death, was immobilized by fear until Karen's spirit helped him open his heart to new love, demonstrating that love can overcome even deep-seated fear.

Fear hinders growth. Martin, taught to be afraid by his parents, lived a life limited by fear, regretting not pursuing his dream of becoming a lawyer. His spirit later revealed that fear damages curiosity and imagination. His daughter Stephanie, about to abandon her law school dream due to fear, was empowered by her father's spirit to break the family chain of fear and pursue her path.

5. Stop the Blame Game

By playing the blame game and living in victim consciousness, we perpetuate and project fear...

Blame avoids responsibility. It's easier to blame others for our problems and disappointments than to take responsibility for our choices. This learned behavior, often starting in childhood, leads to victim consciousness, where we feel powerless and attribute our misfortunes to external factors.

Victim mentality is self-defeating. Living as a victim creates a self-fulfilling prophecy, attracting negative experiences and limiting potential. Adrienne, who blamed her parents for her lack of success, realized through a reading that her own refusal to take responsibility and believe in herself was the real obstacle.

Prejudice stems from blame. A "them against me" mentality, often rooted in victim consciousness, narrows understanding and fosters prejudice. Sophie, who blamed Jewish people for her life's hardships, carried this prejudice into the spirit world until guided to see the love and interconnectedness she had denied on Earth.

6. The Power of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves.

Forgiveness frees us. Forgiveness is a conscious choice to release resentment and thoughts of revenge, energetically unbinding ourselves from the offense. It doesn't excuse the wrongdoer but frees us from negative emotions that can manifest as physical ailments.

Holding grudges harms. Unforgiveness lodges in our energy centers, creating blocks that impede the flow of life and can lead to physical disease. The story of twin sisters Becky and Pam, whose feud over stolen items stemmed from a past-life karmic debt, shows how holding onto hurt for years can be detrimental until forgiveness is offered.

Forgiveness heals all. The most profound forgiveness can occur even at the end of life, as seen with Art, a former SS member, who sought forgiveness from Ben, a Holocaust survivor. Ben's act of forgiveness released both men from the atrocities that had scarred them, demonstrating forgiveness as a supreme healing force that transcends earthly life and lifetimes.

7. Understanding Karma's Lessons

Simply put, what you give out you will get back.

Karma is cause and effect. Karma is a universal law, not punishment, where actions have consequences in this or future lives. It's a tool for learning and gaining experience, operating neutrally based on choices made from love or fear.

Lessons for the soul. Souls choose life situations to learn specific lessons, like selflessness or dealing with wealth. The outcome of these situations depends on the choices made. The story of Gregory, who ignored warnings about his brakes, illustrates how failing to take responsibility for actions results in experiencing the consequences – his karma.

Group and national karma. Karma extends beyond individuals to families, ethnicities, and nations. We choose families to work out group karmic obligations. Nations also have karma based on their leaders' actions and motives, creating ripple effects that impact individuals within them.

8. Overcoming Life's Obstacles

Learning to overcome them is what life is all about.

Obstacles are opportunities. Life is full of challenges, but these are opportunities for growth and self-discovery. Instead of being defeated, we can use obstacles to find inner strength and change our perspective. Helen Keller, blind and deaf, is a prime example of triumphing over immense barriers.

Inner barriers:

• Fear: Creates illusion and limits potential.
• Negative Attitude: Pushes away people and opportunities.
• Limiting Beliefs: Based on low self-esteem, they restrict possibilities.
• Hubris: Blocks intuition and understanding.

Change your thinking. Overcoming obstacles requires changing negative thought patterns and attitudes. Replacing negative thoughts with positive ones, setting goals, and being open to how the universe delivers them are key steps. Dean, whose positive attitude was initially mocked by his father, found that his optimism opened doors to a successful career, proving the power of a positive mindset.

9. Cultivating Clarity and Awareness

Our so-called dead relatives are more alive than we are on earth.

Beyond physical senses. Spirits exist in a higher state of consciousness, more aware than many living humans who are often on autopilot, caught in routines and external distractions. They emphasize that our physical bodies are temporary housing for the soul, which exists beyond the five senses.

Mindfulness is key. Living a mind-full life means being aware of the present moment, our thoughts, feelings, and environment. Lack of mindfulness leads to reacting based on old habits and past hurts, making us victims of circumstance. The spirit of a man who died in a motorcycle accident due to not wearing a helmet highlighted the fatal cost of mindlessness.

Accessing higher consciousness. Meditation and prayer are tools to quiet the mind and connect with our inner, divine self. This inward journey allows us to transcend the egocentric state, gain clarity, and see life from a higher perspective, recognizing our connection to God/Love and the interconnectedness of all beings.

10. Living Your Authentic Life

The spirit world insists that we must recognize the divine aspect of our beings.

Discover your divinity. To live a fulfilled life without regrets, we must recognize and connect with our higher, divine power within. This inner resource is our true self, equipped with limitless potential, often forgotten in the materialistic, limited world.

Believe in yourself. Don't let others' opinions define you or give away your power by worrying about what they think. Your intuition, that little voice inside, is your best guide. Sarah's great-aunt Janet, who suppressed her artistic talent to fit societal expectations, regretted not living her truth, a lesson her spirit shared to encourage Sarah to embrace her own path.

Embrace your uniqueness. Be original, speak and act authentically, and don't try to be like others. Your unique talents and abilities are your contribution to the universe. Life is fleeting, so make your mark by living your truth, expressing love, and enjoying the journey.

11. Finishing Your Business Now

The victory of a life well lived is measured purely by the love you have created for yourself and others on the planet.

Unfinished business hinders. Carrying unresolved issues like guilt, regret, unforgiveness, or trauma slows spiritual progress and keeps us stuck. Painful situations are opportunities for growth, but if not dealt with, they fester and become bigger obstacles.

Healing methods:

• Psychotherapy: Provides an objective, safe space to process deep-seated blocks.
• Discussion: Talking with trusted friends or support groups brings new perspectives and forces confrontation.
• Writing Letters: Expressing feelings to living or deceased individuals on paper can be freeing.
• Journaling: Exploring hurts, their lessons, and asking the Higher Self for guidance helps release them.

Move forward. You can choose to take control of your life, accept responsibility, and move beyond being a victim. Healing past hurts, forgiving yourself and others, and letting go of what you cannot change are essential steps to living a life measured by the love created.

Last updated: June 12, 2025