Wild at Heart

1. Every man's heart harbors three core desires: a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue

"Deep in a man's heart are some fundamental questions that simply cannot be answered at the kitchen table."

Innate masculine desires. These three desires are hardwired into every man's heart, reflecting God's design for masculinity. They manifest in childhood play, adolescent dreams, and adult pursuits. However, modern society often suppresses or distorts these desires, leaving men feeling unfulfilled and disconnected from their true selves.

Cultural misunderstanding. Many interpret these desires as immature or even dangerous, leading to attempts to tame or eliminate them. This misunderstanding contributes to a crisis of masculinity, where men struggle to find their place and purpose in the world.

Spiritual significance. These desires point to deeper spiritual truths:

• The battle reflects man's role in God's cosmic struggle against evil
• The adventure speaks to man's calling to explore and steward creation
• The beauty to rescue symbolizes man's role in protecting and nurturing others, especially women

2. Men are wounded in their masculinity, often by their fathers, leading to a loss of true strength

"The wound comes with a message, and the message feels final, absolutely true, because it is delivered with such force."

The father wound. Many men carry deep emotional wounds inflicted by their fathers, either through abuse, neglect, or absence. This wounding often occurs during crucial developmental stages, shaping a man's understanding of his own masculinity and worth.

False selves and coping mechanisms. In response to these wounds, men often develop false selves as a defense mechanism:

• The poseur: Pretending to have strength they don't feel
• The passive man: Withdrawing from challenge and responsibility
• The angry man: Using aggression to mask vulnerability

Cycle of wounding. Unhealed wounds lead to a cycle where wounded men wound others, particularly their own children. Breaking this cycle requires acknowledging the wound, grieving the loss, and seeking healing through God and healthy relationships.

3. The world, the flesh, and the devil conspire to keep men from their true masculine identity

"We are now in the late stages of the long and vicious war against the human heart."

The world's lies. Society promotes distorted views of masculinity, either hyper-aggressive caricatures or emasculated ideals. Media, education, and even some religious teachings contribute to this confusion about what it means to be a man.

The flesh's weakness. Men's own sinful nature leads to:

• Addiction and escapism
• Fear of vulnerability and intimacy
• Selfishness and a refusal to sacrifice

Spiritual warfare. The devil actively works to keep men from their true identity in Christ:

• Sowing doubt about God's goodness and men's worth
• Tempting men to find their identity in false sources (career, sexuality, power)
• Discouraging men from pursuing spiritual growth and healing

4. God invites men into a deep, personal relationship to heal their wounds and restore their strength

"God is fiercely committed to you, to the restoration and release of your masculine heart."

Divine initiation. God desires to personally initiate men into true masculinity, much like a father would guide his son. This process involves:

• Encountering God's love and acceptance
• Learning to hear God's voice and guidance
• Receiving a new identity rooted in Christ

Healing through relationship. True healing of masculine wounds comes through intimate relationship with God:

• Experiencing God as the perfect Father
• Allowing God to speak truth to counteract lies from past wounds
• Drawing strength and courage from God's presence

Ongoing journey. This relationship with God is not a one-time event but an ongoing process of growth, challenge, and transformation. It requires regular time in prayer, scripture, and honest conversation with God.

5. Men must embrace risk and adventure to fully live out their masculine calling

"A man just won't be happy until he's got adventure in his work, in his love, and in his spiritual life."

Overcoming fear. Many men live in a state of self-protection, avoiding risk to prevent further wounding. True masculinity requires stepping out in faith, embracing uncertainty and the possibility of failure.

Finding purpose. Adventure allows men to discover their unique calling and gifts. This might involve:

• Career changes or entrepreneurial pursuits
• Traveling or exploring new cultures
• Taking on challenging physical or creative endeavors

Spiritual growth. Embracing adventure in the spiritual life means:

• Trusting God in difficult circumstances
• Stepping out in faith to serve others
• Being willing to confront personal sin and weakness

6. A man's strength is meant to be offered in service of others, especially women

"A man is never more a man than when he embraces an adventure beyond his control, or when he walks into a battle he isn't sure of winning."

Sacrificial love. True masculinity is not about domination but about offering one's strength to protect, nurture, and empower others. This reflects Christ's sacrificial love for the church.

Healing the feminine heart. Men play a crucial role in helping women heal from their own wounds and flourish in their femininity. This involves:

• Affirming a woman's beauty and worth
• Providing safety and security
• Encouraging a woman's dreams and goals

Leadership through service. In families, communities, and workplaces, men are called to lead by example through selfless service and integrity.

7. The journey to authentic masculinity requires ongoing commitment and spiritual warfare

"We are going to have to figure a lot of this out for ourselves. We know how to attend church; we've been taught not to swear or drink or smoke. We know how to be nice. But we don't really know how to fight, and we're going to have to learn as we go."

Daily choices. Becoming the man God intends requires intentional daily decisions:

• Choosing vulnerability over self-protection
• Pursuing integrity in all areas of life
• Actively engaging in spiritual disciplines

Spiritual battle. Men must recognize they are in a spiritual war and learn to fight:

• Putting on the full armor of God (Ephesians 6)
• Resisting temptation and lies from the enemy
• Praying for protection and discernment

Perseverance. The journey to authentic masculinity is lifelong, requiring:

• Resilience in the face of setbacks
• Continual growth and learning
• A willingness to help other men on their journeys

8. Men need other men as allies in their quest for true masculinity

"We don't need accountability groups; we need fellow warriors, someone to fight alongside, someone to watch our back."

Band of brothers. Men thrive when they have close male friendships characterized by:

• Honesty and vulnerability
• Mutual support and encouragement
• Shared adventures and challenges

Mentorship. Older, wiser men play a crucial role in guiding younger men:

• Sharing life experiences and lessons learned
• Modeling authentic masculinity
• Providing accountability and correction when needed

Creating masculine culture. Men benefit from intentional spaces and activities that foster healthy masculinity:

• Small groups focused on spiritual growth
• Outdoor adventures and physical challenges
• Opportunities for service and leadership in community

Last updated: January 22, 2025