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You Will Get Through This Night

You Will Get Through This Night

by Daniel Howell 2021 320 pages
4.24
6k+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Recognize and manage your thoughts to improve mental health

You are not your thoughts.

Thinking biases influence emotions. Our minds often fall into automatic thinking patterns that can negatively impact our mental health. Common biases include emotional reasoning, mind reading, catastrophizing, and all-or-nothing thinking. These patterns can distort our perception of reality and lead to unnecessary stress and anxiety.

Challenge negative thoughts. To combat these biases, practice identifying and questioning your thoughts. Ask yourself if there's evidence to support your beliefs, consider alternative explanations, and try to view situations from a more balanced perspective. This process, known as cognitive restructuring, can help reduce the emotional impact of negative thoughts.

Mindfulness as a tool. Incorporating mindfulness techniques can help you create distance from your thoughts and observe them without judgment. This practice allows you to recognize that thoughts are not facts and gives you the power to choose which ones to engage with. Regular mindfulness exercises, such as meditation or focused breathing, can improve your ability to manage your thoughts and emotions over time.

2. Create a supportive environment for better mental wellbeing

Your space may be a mansion, a maisonette, a single bedroom, or even just a bed in a shared space – what's important is what we have control over.

Declutter and organize. A tidy space can lead to a clearer mind. Take time to organize your living area, removing unnecessary clutter and creating systems that make daily tasks easier. This can reduce stress and increase feelings of control and calm in your environment.

Personalize your space. Surround yourself with items that bring you joy and comfort. This might include:

  • Photos of loved ones or happy memories
  • Plants or natural elements
  • Artwork or decorations that reflect your personality
  • Comfortable furnishings that promote relaxation

Optimize for light and air. Natural light and fresh air can significantly impact mood and energy levels. Maximize exposure to daylight, use mirrors to reflect light in darker spaces, and ensure proper ventilation. If natural light is limited, consider using a light therapy lamp to simulate sunlight and regulate your circadian rhythm.

3. Prioritize sleep for emotional balance and cognitive function

Sleep isn't just about our physical energy. It's what powers and regulates our mind, influencing our mood and our ability to cope with life's challenges.

Establish a consistent sleep schedule. Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, even on weekends. This helps regulate your body's internal clock and improves the quality of your sleep. Aim for 7-9 hours of sleep per night, adjusting based on your individual needs.

Create a relaxing bedtime routine. Develop a series of calming activities to signal to your body that it's time to wind down. This might include:

  • Reading a book
  • Taking a warm bath
  • Practicing gentle stretches or yoga
  • Listening to soothing music
  • Writing in a journal

Optimize your sleep environment. Make your bedroom conducive to quality sleep by:

  • Keeping the room cool and dark
  • Using comfortable bedding and pillows
  • Minimizing noise and light disruptions
  • Removing electronic devices from the bedroom

4. Nourish your body and mind through mindful eating

You aren't literally what you eat, but you definitely feel it.

Balance nutrition and enjoyment. Focus on eating a variety of nutrient-dense foods to support your physical and mental health. However, don't deprive yourself of foods you enjoy. Find a balance that nourishes your body while also satisfying your taste buds and emotional needs.

Practice mindful eating. Pay attention to your food and the act of eating. This can help you:

  • Recognize hunger and fullness cues
  • Appreciate the flavors and textures of your food
  • Reduce overeating and emotional eating
  • Develop a healthier relationship with food

Plan and prepare meals. Take time to plan your meals and keep healthy options readily available. This can reduce stress around food choices and make it easier to maintain a balanced diet. Consider meal prepping or having a list of quick, nutritious recipes on hand for busy days.

5. Incorporate regular movement to boost mood and reduce stress

Just a little, when you need it, can make a huge difference.

Find enjoyable activities. Choose forms of movement that you genuinely enjoy, as this increases the likelihood of maintaining a consistent routine. This could include:

  • Dancing
  • Hiking
  • Team sports
  • Yoga
  • Swimming
  • Cycling

Start small and build momentum. Begin with short, manageable sessions of physical activity and gradually increase duration and intensity. Even 10-15 minutes of movement can have positive effects on mood and energy levels.

Integrate movement into daily life. Look for opportunities to increase physical activity throughout your day:

  • Take the stairs instead of the elevator
  • Walk or bike for short errands
  • Stand up and stretch during work breaks
  • Do bodyweight exercises while watching TV

6. Cultivate meaningful social connections for emotional support

Strong social bonds give us a sense of belonging, protect against stress, boost our self-worth and confidence, and even improve our immune system!

Nurture existing relationships. Invest time and effort in maintaining and deepening connections with family, friends, and acquaintances. Regular communication, shared experiences, and mutual support can strengthen these bonds over time.

Seek out new connections. Expand your social circle by:

  • Joining clubs or groups aligned with your interests
  • Volunteering for causes you care about
  • Attending community events or classes
  • Using social apps or platforms to meet like-minded individuals

Practice vulnerability and authenticity. Allow yourself to be genuine in your interactions and share your thoughts and feelings with trusted individuals. This can lead to deeper, more meaningful connections and provide a support system during challenging times.

7. Develop resilience to bounce back from life's challenges

Resilience is about being realistically optimistic.

Cultivate a growth mindset. View challenges as opportunities for learning and personal growth rather than insurmountable obstacles. Embrace the idea that skills and abilities can be developed through effort and persistence.

Build problem-solving skills. When faced with setbacks, focus on identifying potential solutions rather than dwelling on the problem. Break down complex issues into smaller, manageable steps and take action to address them.

Develop a support network. Surround yourself with people who encourage and uplift you. Having a strong support system can provide emotional comfort, practical assistance, and different perspectives during difficult times.

8. Understand and work with your emotions effectively

Remember that, fundamentally, emotions aren't facts telling us that bad, or dangerous, or scary things will happen to us – they are just signals that we feel something isn't right and needs our attention.

Recognize and name emotions. Practice identifying and labeling your emotions as they arise. This can help create some distance between you and the emotion, allowing for a more objective response.

Explore the underlying causes. Look beyond the surface-level emotion to understand what might be triggering it. Consider:

  • Past experiences that may be influencing your reaction
  • Unmet needs or values that are being challenged
  • Fears or insecurities that might be at play

Choose healthy coping strategies. Develop a toolkit of healthy ways to process and express emotions, such as:

  • Journaling
  • Talking to a trusted friend
  • Engaging in creative activities
  • Practicing relaxation techniques
  • Physical exercise or movement

9. Address past traumas and seek professional help when needed

If you have gone through a long struggle, stemming from your upbringing or identity, these experiences over time can leave wounds, that if not confronted or healed, can keep us trapped in the past or constantly pulled back to a vulnerable state.

Recognize the impact of trauma. Understand that past experiences can significantly influence your current thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Be aware of potential triggers and how they affect you in daily life.

Consider professional support. Seeking help from a therapist or counselor can provide:

  • A safe space to process traumatic experiences
  • Tools and techniques for managing symptoms
  • Guidance in developing healthier coping mechanisms
  • Support in rebuilding self-esteem and trust

Practice self-compassion. Be gentle with yourself as you work through past traumas. Recognize that healing is a process and allow yourself time and space to grow and recover.

10. Practice self-compassion and challenge unhelpful beliefs

Give yourself permission to exist.

Identify and question limiting beliefs. Examine the rules and expectations you've set for yourself. Ask if they're realistic, helpful, and aligned with your values. Challenge beliefs that are overly rigid or self-critical.

Treat yourself with kindness. Speak to yourself as you would a close friend. Offer words of encouragement and understanding, especially during difficult times or after making mistakes.

Embrace imperfection. Recognize that everyone makes mistakes and faces challenges. Instead of striving for perfection, focus on learning and growth. Celebrate small victories and progress along the way.

Last updated:

Review Summary

4.24 out of 5
Average of 6k+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

You Will Get Through This Night received mixed reviews. Many praised Howell's humor and personal anecdotes, finding the book relatable and helpful for mental health. Some appreciated the practical advice and exercises. However, critics felt the content was basic, repetitive, and lacked depth. Several reviewers questioned Howell's qualifications and found the tone patronizing. While fans enjoyed the book, others felt it offered little new information. Overall, reactions varied widely, with some finding it life-changing and others dismissing it as unhelpful.

Your rating:

About the Author

Daniel James Howell is a British author, comedian, and internet personality. He gained fame through his YouTube channel, where he has amassed millions of subscribers. Howell is known for his self-deprecating humor and openness about mental health issues. He has been vocal about his struggles with depression and sexuality. In addition to his online content, Howell has co-authored books with fellow YouTuber Phil Lester and embarked on world tours. His debut solo book, "You Will Get Through This Night," aims to provide practical mental health advice. Howell's work often resonates with young audiences, particularly those dealing with mental health challenges.

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