Get Off Your "But"

What’s "Get Off Your 'But'" by Sean Stephenson about?

• Overcoming Self-Sabotage: The book is a guide to ending self-sabotage by identifying and eliminating the excuses, fears, and insecurities (the “BUTs”) that hold people back from achieving their goals.
• Personal Story: Sean Stephenson shares his own journey living with Osteogenesis Imperfecta (brittle bone disorder), using his life as a powerful example of resilience and transformation.
• Actionable Lessons: The book is structured around six core lessons, each designed to help readers connect with themselves and others, change self-talk, build confidence, focus, choose supportive friends, and take responsibility.
• Inspiration and Tools: Through personal anecdotes, client stories, and practical exercises, Stephenson provides both inspiration and concrete tools for readers to create lasting change in their lives.

Why should I read "Get Off Your 'But'" by Sean Stephenson?

• Relatable Excuses: If you find yourself making excuses for not pursuing your dreams or goals, this book helps you recognize and overcome those mental barriers.
• Practical Strategies: Stephenson offers actionable advice and exercises, not just theory, making it easy to apply the lessons to your own life.
• Motivational Storytelling: The author’s personal story and the stories of others who have overcome adversity provide motivation and hope.
• Holistic Approach: The book addresses mental, emotional, physical, and social aspects of self-improvement, making it comprehensive for personal growth.

What are the key takeaways from "Get Off Your 'But'"?

• Excuses Hold Us Back: The main thing stopping most people is the size of their “BUT”—the excuses and limiting beliefs they sit on.
• Connection is Crucial: Building authentic connections with others and yourself is the first step to getting unstuck.
• Self-Talk Shapes Reality: The words you use with yourself can either empower or sabotage you; changing your inner dialogue is essential.
• Responsibility Equals Freedom: Taking full responsibility for your life, rather than blaming others or circumstances, is the path to true freedom and achievement.

What does Sean Stephenson mean by “BUTs” in "Get Off Your 'But'"?

• Definition of “BUTs”: “BUTs” are the fears, insecurities, and excuses that people use to justify not taking action or pursuing their goals (e.g., “I’d do it, BUT I’m not good enough”).
• Types of BUTs: Stephenson identifies three main types: BUT fears (“BUT what if I fail?”), BUT excuses (“BUT I don’t have time”), and BUT insecurities (“BUT I’m not attractive enough”).
• Self-Sabotage Mechanism: These “BUTs” are self-sabotaging beliefs that keep people stuck in their current situation.
• Goal of the Book: The book’s purpose is to help readers recognize, challenge, and eliminate their “BUTs” to unlock their potential.

How does Sean Stephenson suggest ending self-sabotage in "Get Off Your 'But'"?

• Awareness and Acknowledgment: The first step is to become aware of your “BUTs” and acknowledge how they are holding you back.
• Change Your Self-Talk: Replace negative, limiting self-talk with empowering, supportive language.
• Take Responsibility: Move from living at the “Effect” of circumstances to living at “Cause,” where you own your choices and outcomes.
• Action-Oriented Exercises: The book provides practical exercises after each lesson to help you implement changes and build new habits.

What are the six core lessons in "Get Off Your 'But'" and what do they cover?

• Lesson 1: Start Connecting: Focuses on building authentic connections with others and yourself as the foundation for change.
• Lesson 2: Watch What You Say to Yourself: Teaches the power of self-talk and how to transform negative inner dialogue.
• Lesson 3: Master Your Physical Confidence: Explains the mind-body connection and how physical posture and habits influence confidence.
• Lesson 4: Focus Your Focus: Shows how to direct your attention to what you want, rather than what you lack or fear.
• Lesson 5: Choose Your Friends Wisely: Emphasizes the importance of surrounding yourself with supportive, positive people (“A Friends”).
• Lesson 6: Take Full Responsibility: Encourages readers to own their lives, choices, and outcomes, moving from blame to empowerment.

How does "Get Off Your 'But'" by Sean Stephenson address the power of self-talk?

• Words Shape Reality: Stephenson explains that the words you use with yourself create your emotional state and influence your actions.
• Negative Self-Talk: He identifies common patterns of negative self-talk and how they reinforce limiting beliefs and self-sabotage.
• Rewriting the Script: The book provides exercises to help you eavesdrop on your inner dialogue and consciously replace negative statements with positive, empowering ones.
• Belief Formation: Stephenson discusses how repeated thoughts become beliefs, and how changing your self-talk can change your beliefs and, ultimately, your life.

What is the “Pit Crew Theory of Friendship” in "Get Off Your 'But'"?

• Pit Crew Metaphor: Stephenson compares your support network to a race car’s pit crew—essential for your success and well-being.
• Types of Friends: He categorizes friends as “A Friends” (supportive), “B Friends” (inconsistent), and “C Friends” (toxic: takers, drainers, destroyers).
• Impact on Success: The people you spend the most time with shape your mindset, habits, and outcomes.
• Choosing Wisely: The book advises auditing your friendships and intentionally building a pit crew that lifts you up and helps you grow.

How does Sean Stephenson recommend building physical confidence in "Get Off Your 'But'"?

• Mind-Body Connection: Physical posture and movement directly affect your emotional state and confidence.
• Modeling Confidence: Observe and emulate the body language of confident people to internalize those traits.
• Practical Exercises: The book includes activities to help you practice confident posture, breathing, and movement.
• Physical Self-Care: Stephenson emphasizes the importance of taking care of your body through exercise, nutrition, and rest to support overall confidence.

What role does focus play in personal transformation according to "Get Off Your 'But'"?

• Focus Determines Experience: What you focus on expands—focusing on lack or problems increases dissatisfaction, while focusing on gratitude and solutions brings happiness.
• Managing Attention: Stephenson teaches techniques to redirect your focus from negative comparisons and self-pity to positive action and appreciation.
• Egg-Timer Technique: He suggests limiting time spent on negative emotions and quickly shifting back to productive focus.
• Laughter and Lightness: Using humor and finding the funny side of challenges helps break the cycle of stress and negativity.

What is the “Freedom Formula” (C > E) in "Get Off Your 'But'" and how does it work?

• Cause is Greater than Effect: The formula C > E means living at Cause (taking responsibility) is more powerful than living at Effect (blaming circumstances).
• Ownership of Life: Taking responsibility for your actions, thoughts, and outcomes gives you the power to change your life.
• No More Blame: The book encourages readers to stop blaming others or external factors and instead focus on what they can control.
• Empowerment: Living at Cause leads to greater freedom, happiness, and the ability to achieve your goals.

What are the best quotes from "Get Off Your 'But'" by Sean Stephenson and what do they mean?

• “The only thing that has ever held you back from having what you want in life is the size of your BUT.”
  • This highlights the central message: excuses and limiting beliefs are the main obstacles to success.
• “Pain is inevitable. Suffering, however, is optional.”
  • Stephenson emphasizes that while challenges are unavoidable, how we respond to them is a choice.
• “Until you own something, it owns you.”
  • Taking responsibility for your life is the key to freedom and growth.
• “Learning doesn’t occur until a behavior has changed.”
  • True learning is demonstrated by action, not just knowledge.
• “No one is a failure who has A Friends!”
  • The quality of your relationships is a major determinant of your happiness and success.