The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands

What's "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" about?

• Focus on Marital Relationships: The book by Dr. Laura C. Schlessinger provides guidance on improving marital relationships by understanding and addressing the needs of husbands.
• Women's Role in Marriage: It emphasizes the significant role women play in creating a harmonious and fulfilling marriage by showing respect, appreciation, and affection towards their husbands.
• Practical Advice: The book offers practical advice and real-life examples to help women understand how their actions and attitudes can positively or negatively impact their marriage.
• Revitalizing Marriages: It aims to salvage and revitalize strained or stagnant marriages by encouraging women to take proactive steps in nurturing their relationship with their husbands.

Why should I read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands"?

• Improving Marital Satisfaction: The book provides insights into how women can enhance their marital satisfaction by understanding and meeting their husbands' needs.
• Real-Life Examples: Dr. Laura uses real-life examples to demonstrate the positive changes that can occur when women apply her advice, making the concepts relatable and actionable.
• Empowerment Through Understanding: It empowers women by showing them how small changes in behavior and attitude can lead to significant improvements in their marriage.
• Balanced Perspective: The book offers a balanced perspective on the dynamics of marriage, focusing on mutual respect and understanding rather than one-sided demands.

What are the key takeaways of "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands"?

• Respect and Appreciation: Husbands need to feel respected and appreciated in their own homes, which can lead to a more loving and supportive relationship.
• Understanding Male Needs: Recognizing that men have simple needs, such as feeling like a hero and being desired, can help women better connect with their husbands.
• Communication Differences: Understanding the differences in communication styles between men and women can reduce misunderstandings and improve marital harmony.
• Role of Intimacy: Physical intimacy is crucial for men to feel emotionally connected to their wives, and neglecting this aspect can lead to marital dissatisfaction.

How does Dr. Laura Schlessinger suggest women improve their marriages?

• Compliment and Appreciate: Dr. Laura advises women to find things to compliment their husbands about daily, which can improve the atmosphere at home.
• Prioritize Husband's Needs: She suggests making husbands a priority by showing interest in their hobbies and respecting their need for "guy time."
• Be a "Girl": Women are encouraged to maintain their femininity and make an effort to look and act appealing to their husbands.
• Initiate Intimacy: Dr. Laura emphasizes the importance of initiating physical intimacy to strengthen the emotional bond between spouses.

What are the best quotes from "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and what do they mean?

• "A good man is hard to find, not to keep." This quote highlights the idea that once a woman finds a good man, maintaining the relationship is about nurturing and respecting him.
• "Men are simple straight lines." It suggests that men have straightforward needs and desires, and understanding this can simplify marital interactions.
• "Your attitude makes all the difference in the quality of your life." This emphasizes the power of a positive attitude in transforming personal and marital satisfaction.
• "Men live to make their women happy." It underscores the notion that men derive joy from pleasing their wives, and women can harness this by showing appreciation and respect.

How does "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" address communication issues?

• Direct Communication: Dr. Laura advises women to communicate directly and clearly with their husbands, avoiding subtle hints that men may not pick up on.
• Timing and Tone: She emphasizes the importance of timing and tone in communication, suggesting that women should choose the right moment and approach to discuss important matters.
• Listening and Understanding: The book encourages women to listen to their husbands without immediately offering solutions or criticisms, fostering a more supportive environment.
• Avoiding Overwhelm: Women are advised to avoid overwhelming their husbands with excessive details or emotional outbursts, which can lead to communication breakdowns.

What role does intimacy play in "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands"?

• Emotional Connection: Intimacy is portrayed as a crucial way for men to feel emotionally connected to their wives, beyond just physical satisfaction.
• Regular Intimacy: Dr. Laura suggests that regular physical intimacy can prevent feelings of neglect and strengthen the marital bond.
• Initiating Intimacy: Women are encouraged to take the initiative in intimate matters, which can enhance their husbands' feelings of being desired and appreciated.
• Beyond Physical Needs: The book highlights that intimacy fulfills emotional needs for men, making it an essential component of a healthy marriage.

How does Dr. Laura Schlessinger view the concept of "guy time"?

• Necessary for Well-being: "Guy time" is seen as essential for men to recharge and maintain their sense of identity and well-being.
• Respecting Individual Needs: Women are encouraged to respect their husbands' need for time with male friends or solo activities, as it contributes to their overall happiness.
• Balancing Family and Personal Time: The book suggests that a balance between family responsibilities and personal time is crucial for a healthy marriage.
• Reducing Resentment: Allowing husbands "guy time" can reduce resentment and lead to a more harmonious relationship, as men return refreshed and more engaged.

What does "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" say about the role of respect in marriage?

• Foundation of Marriage: Respect is portrayed as a foundational element of a successful marriage, essential for both partners to feel valued and loved.
• Mutual Respect: The book emphasizes that respect should be mutual, with both spouses acknowledging and appreciating each other's contributions and needs.
• Avoiding Disrespect: Women are advised to avoid behaviors that undermine their husbands' sense of respect, such as public criticism or dismissive attitudes.
• Building Trust: Respectful interactions build trust and strengthen the marital bond, creating a more supportive and loving environment.

How does Dr. Laura Schlessinger address the issue of nagging in "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands"?

• Negative Impact: Nagging is highlighted as a behavior that can erode a husband's sense of self-worth and lead to marital dissatisfaction.
• Constructive Communication: Women are encouraged to communicate their needs and concerns constructively, without resorting to constant criticism or complaints.
• Focusing on Positives: The book suggests focusing on positive reinforcement and appreciation to encourage desired behaviors from husbands.
• Breaking the Cycle: Dr. Laura advises women to break the cycle of nagging by addressing issues calmly and respectfully, fostering a more positive relationship dynamic.

What advice does "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" offer for handling conflicts?

• Calm and Respectful Approach: Conflicts should be approached calmly and respectfully, avoiding escalation and focusing on resolution.
• Understanding Perspectives: Women are encouraged to understand their husbands' perspectives and consider their feelings before reacting.
• Compromise and Cooperation: The book emphasizes the importance of compromise and cooperation in resolving conflicts and maintaining marital harmony.
• Avoiding Blame: Dr. Laura advises against blaming or shaming during conflicts, as this can damage trust and hinder effective communication.

How does "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" suggest women balance family and personal time?

• Prioritizing Marriage: The book emphasizes the importance of prioritizing the marital relationship, even amidst family and personal responsibilities.
• Shared Responsibilities: Women are encouraged to share responsibilities with their husbands, allowing both partners to have personal time and reduce stress.
• Quality Time Together: Dr. Laura suggests setting aside quality time for the couple to connect and nurture their relationship, strengthening their bond.
• Self-Care and Support: The book highlights the importance of self-care and seeking support from each other to maintain a healthy balance between family and personal time.