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The Empowered Wife

The Empowered Wife

Six Surprising Secrets for Attracting Your Husband's Time, Attention, and Affection
by Laura Doyle 2017 250 pages
3.99
1k+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Embrace feminine gifts to transform your marriage

"We are the sexier sex, which means we get to enjoy the power of feeling desired and pursued."

Rediscover your feminine power. The Six Intimacy Skills™ help women tap into their innate feminine gifts, which include:

  • Magnetism: The ability to attract and be pursued
  • Emotional brilliance: Skill in identifying and expressing emotions
  • Receptivity: Openness to special treatment and care
  • Pleasure: Capacity for joy and satisfaction
  • Desire: A powerful force that guides relationships

By embracing these gifts, women can create a more fulfilling and passionate marriage. This approach shifts the focus from trying to change one's husband to enhancing one's own feminine energy, which naturally attracts masculine attention and care.

2. Practice self-care to replenish your spirit and attract your husband

"Make tending to your own pleasure a part of your daily routine, which will give your marriage the chance to be gratifying."

Prioritize your happiness. Self-care is not selfish; it's essential for a thriving relationship. To practice effective self-care:

  • Create a list of at least 20 activities that bring you joy
  • Engage in three pleasurable activities daily
  • Focus on activities that feel good in the moment, not just afterward

Self-care replenishes your spirit, making you more relaxed, confident, and attractive to your husband. It also:

  • Expands your time and energy
  • Improves your mood and outlook
  • Teaches others how to treat you well

Remember, a happy wife contributes to a happy marriage. By taking care of yourself, you're better equipped to nurture your relationship.

3. Express pure desires without manipulation or expectation

"Just say the words 'I would love...'"

Communicate authentically. Expressing pure desires is a powerful way to inspire your husband and guide your relationship. To do this effectively:

  • Focus on the outcome you want, not how to achieve it
  • Use phrases like "I want..." or "I would love..."
  • Avoid including "you" in your desire statements
  • Express desires without expectation or manipulation

Benefits of expressing pure desires:

  • Gives your husband clear information on how to please you
  • Increases the likelihood of getting what you want
  • Strengthens emotional connection
  • Reduces complaints and criticism

Remember, a complaint is always an unexpressed desire. By focusing on what you want rather than what's wrong, you create a more positive and inspiring dynamic in your relationship.

4. Restore respect in your relationship to reignite passion

"Respect means that you don't dismiss, criticize, contradict, or try to teach your man how to do something better, because you trust him and expect the best outcome from him already."

Cultivate genuine respect. Respect is crucial for maintaining passion and connection in a marriage. To restore respect:

  • Act as if you respect your husband, even if you don't feel it
  • Apologize for disrespectful behavior
  • Use phrases like "Whatever you think" to show trust
  • Listen without offering unsolicited advice or criticism

Benefits of showing respect:

  • Increases your husband's desire to please you
  • Enhances emotional and physical intimacy
  • Improves communication and reduces conflicts
  • Boosts your husband's confidence and success

Remember, respect is a choice and an action, not just a feeling. By consistently showing respect, you create a positive cycle that strengthens your relationship.

5. Relinquish control to foster intimacy and trust

"All control is based in fear. If you're not afraid, you don't need to try to control anybody or anything else."

Let go of unnecessary control. Relinquishing control is essential for building trust and intimacy in your marriage. To practice this:

  • Identify areas where you're trying to control your husband
  • Ask yourself: What am I afraid of? Is my fear realistic?
  • Consider whether you can actually control the situation
  • Weigh the cost of control against the potential for intimacy

Benefits of relinquishing control:

  • Reduces tension and conflict in the relationship
  • Allows your husband to step up and take initiative
  • Increases mutual trust and respect
  • Creates space for vulnerability and emotional connection

Remember, you can't control your husband, but you can control your own actions and responses. By focusing on what you can control – yourself – you create a more harmonious and intimate relationship.

6. Cultivate receptivity to enhance your femininity and connection

"Receptivity is the essence of femininity. The more you're willing to receive gifts, compliments, and help from your husband, the more feminine and attractive you'll be to him and the more special treatment you'll get."

Embrace the art of receiving. Being receptive is a powerful way to enhance your femininity and strengthen your connection with your husband. To cultivate receptivity:

  • Graciously accept compliments, gifts, and help
  • Respond with a simple "Thank you" without deflecting or reciprocating
  • Allow your husband to do things for you, even if you can do them yourself
  • Practice receiving in all areas of your life, not just with your husband

Benefits of receptivity:

  • Increases your attractiveness and confidence
  • Inspires your husband to cherish and care for you
  • Enhances emotional intimacy and connection
  • Creates a positive cycle of giving and receiving in your relationship

Remember, receiving is not a sign of weakness; it's a feminine strength that allows your husband to feel masculine and purposeful in your relationship.

7. Reveal vulnerability to deepen emotional bonds

"Vulnerability is not only attractive, it's where you get that incredible, indescribable feeling of being loved just the way you are by someone who knows you well."

Embrace your softer side. Vulnerability is key to creating deep emotional connections in your marriage. To practice vulnerability:

  • Allow yourself to show emotions, even if it feels uncomfortable
  • Express your needs and desires openly
  • Admit when you're hurt instead of becoming defensive
  • Share your fears and insecurities with your husband

Benefits of vulnerability:

  • Creates a stronger emotional bond with your husband
  • Allows you to feel truly seen and loved for who you are
  • Inspires your husband's protective instincts
  • Encourages mutual openness and trust

Remember, vulnerability takes courage, but it's essential for creating the intimate, passionate relationship you desire. By allowing yourself to be vulnerable, you invite your husband to do the same.

8. Address verbal conflicts with grace and emotional honesty

"Saying 'Ouch!' Always Works"

Respond with emotional honesty. When faced with hurtful comments or situations, responding with vulnerability rather than anger can de-escalate conflicts and preserve intimacy. To practice this:

  • Use the word "Ouch!" when something hurts your feelings
  • Express your hurt before it turns into anger
  • Avoid retaliating or criticizing in response to hurt
  • Give your husband space to apologize or comfort you

Benefits of this approach:

  • Prevents escalation of conflicts
  • Maintains emotional connection even during disagreements
  • Teaches your husband how to treat you with care
  • Preserves your dignity and self-respect

Remember, saying "Ouch!" is not about manipulating your husband; it's about honestly expressing your feelings and giving him an opportunity to respond with care and concern.

9. Invest fully in your marriage to create lasting intimacy

"Until you jump off the fence, you won't be able to create a lasting, gratifying love."

Commit wholeheartedly. To create a truly intimate and fulfilling marriage, you must fully invest yourself emotionally. This means:

  • Making a clear decision to stay in the marriage
  • Focusing on your husband's positive qualities
  • Letting go of "what-if" scenarios or escape plans
  • Being vulnerable and open-hearted, even when it feels risky

Benefits of full investment:

  • Creates a sense of safety and trust in the relationship
  • Allows for deeper emotional intimacy
  • Encourages your husband to reciprocate with full commitment
  • Reduces anxiety and uncertainty in the marriage

Remember, sitting on the fence in your marriage prevents true intimacy from developing. By jumping off the fence and committing fully, you open the door to the passionate, connected relationship you desire.

10. Nurture physical intimacy through respect and feminine energy

"Sex is the one thing that only you and your husband share. It's what separates your romance from every other relationship you have."

Cultivate sexual connection. A healthy sex life is crucial for maintaining passion and intimacy in marriage. To enhance physical intimacy:

  • Practice respect and relinquish control outside the bedroom
  • Embrace your feminine energy and receptivity
  • Focus on your own pleasure and desires
  • Be willing to engage in physical intimacy, even if you're not initially in the mood

Benefits of prioritizing sexual intimacy:

  • Strengthens emotional bonds
  • Increases overall relationship satisfaction
  • Boosts feelings of desirability and attractiveness
  • Reduces tension and conflict in other areas of the relationship

Remember, physical intimacy is a unique aspect of your marriage that deserves attention and care. By approaching sex with respect, receptivity, and feminine energy, you can create a fulfilling and passionate physical connection with your husband.

Last updated:

Review Summary

3.99 out of 5
Average of 1k+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

The Empowered Wife receives mixed reviews, with some praising its practical advice for improving marriages and others criticizing its perceived sexist and outdated views. Supporters appreciate the emphasis on self-care, respect, and gratitude, while critics argue it places too much responsibility on women and dismisses serious issues like abuse. The book's approach to communication and intimacy skills resonates with some readers, but others find it manipulative and simplistic. Many reviewers note the author's frequent promotion of her coaching services and workshops throughout the book.

Your rating:

About the Author

Laura Doyle is the author of several relationship books, including "The Surrendered Wife" and "The Empowered Wife." She leads workshops and seminars aimed at helping women improve their relationships. Doyle's work has garnered significant media attention, appearing on major television shows and in international publications. Her approach focuses on practical techniques for women to enhance intimacy and marital satisfaction. Doyle draws from her personal experiences in her 15-year marriage to inform her writing. Prior to her career as an author and relationship coach, she worked as a marketing copywriter. Doyle graduated with honors from San Jose State University's journalism department.

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