How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less

What's "How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less" about?

• Connecting with others: The book by Nicholas Boothman focuses on the art of making quick and meaningful connections with people.
• Rapport-building techniques: It provides strategies to establish rapport in 90 seconds or less, emphasizing the importance of first impressions.
• Practical advice: The book offers practical advice on body language, attitude, and communication skills to enhance likability.
• Universal principles: Boothman shares universal principles that can be applied in various social and professional settings to improve interpersonal relationships.

Why should I read "How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less"?

• Improve social skills: The book is ideal for anyone looking to improve their social skills and make better first impressions.
• Professional benefits: It offers valuable insights for professionals who need to build rapport quickly, such as salespeople, teachers, and leaders.
• Personal growth: Readers can learn to connect more effectively with others, leading to improved personal relationships and self-confidence.
• Practical exercises: The book includes exercises and real-life examples to help readers practice and apply the techniques.

What are the key takeaways of "How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less"?

• Importance of attitude: A positive and open attitude is crucial for making a good first impression and establishing rapport.
• Body language matters: Non-verbal cues, such as eye contact and open gestures, play a significant role in how others perceive you.
• Effective communication: Asking open-ended questions and actively listening are essential for engaging conversations.
• Synchronizing behavior: Matching the other person's body language and tone can help create a sense of familiarity and trust.

How does Nicholas Boothman suggest establishing rapport quickly?

• Greeting strategy: Use the "Open-Eye-Beam-Hi-Lean" method to make a welcoming first impression.
• Synchronize behavior: Mirror the other person's body language, tone, and pace to create a sense of connection.
• Use open questions: Engage others by asking open-ended questions that encourage them to share more about themselves.
• Active listening: Show genuine interest in what the other person is saying through verbal and non-verbal feedback.

What is the "Open-Eye-Beam-Hi-Lean" method in the book?

• Open: Approach with an open attitude and body language, signaling receptiveness and friendliness.
• Eye contact: Make direct eye contact to establish a connection and show attentiveness.
• Beam: Smile warmly to convey sincerity and approachability.
• Hi and Lean: Greet the person with a friendly "Hi" and lean slightly forward to show interest and engagement.

How does body language influence likability according to Boothman?

• Open vs. closed gestures: Open body language, such as uncrossed arms and direct eye contact, signals trust and willingness to connect.
• Facial expressions: Smiling and nodding can convey warmth and agreement, making you more approachable.
• Posture and movement: Standing or sitting with an open posture and mirroring the other person's movements can enhance rapport.
• Non-verbal cues: Consistent body language that aligns with your words increases your credibility and likability.

What role does attitude play in making people like you?

• Positive attitude: A positive attitude sets the tone for interactions and influences how others perceive you.
• Attitude precedes you: Your attitude is evident before you even speak, affecting your body language and tone.
• Useful vs. useless attitudes: A "Really Useful Attitude" like warmth or curiosity can attract others, while a "Really Useless Attitude" like anger can repel them.
• Attitude management: Being aware of and managing your attitude can significantly impact your ability to connect with others.

How can you use questions to build rapport?

• Open-ended questions: These encourage the other person to share more about themselves, fostering deeper connections.
• Avoid closed questions: Questions that can be answered with a simple "yes" or "no" can halt the flow of conversation.
• Use sensory-specific verbs: Incorporate words like "see," "hear," and "feel" to engage the other person's imagination and senses.
• Follow-up questions: Use the information shared to ask further questions, showing genuine interest and active listening.

What is the significance of sensory preferences in communication?

• Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic: People have different sensory preferences that influence how they perceive and communicate.
• Tailor communication: Recognizing and adapting to someone's sensory preference can enhance understanding and rapport.
• Clues in language: Pay attention to the words people use, such as "see," "hear," or "feel," to identify their sensory preference.
• Practical application: Use this knowledge to adjust your communication style, making it more relatable and effective.

How does Boothman suggest handling compliments?

• Gracious acceptance: Accept compliments simply and directly with a "Thank you," avoiding excessive modesty.
• Specificity: Give specific compliments rather than general ones to make them more meaningful and sincere.
• Sincere delivery: Ensure your tone and body language match the sincerity of your words when giving compliments.
• Avoid flattery: Steer clear of exaggerated or insincere compliments, as they can undermine credibility and rapport.

What are some practical exercises from the book to improve likability?

• Greeting practice: Use the "Open-Eye-Beam-Hi-Lean" method in everyday interactions to refine your greeting skills.
• Synchronizing exercise: Practice matching and mirroring body language and tone with a partner to enhance rapport-building skills.
• Active listening drills: Engage in conversations focusing on active listening techniques, such as nodding and verbal feedback.
• Sensory preference identification: Observe and identify sensory preferences in others to tailor your communication style effectively.

What are the best quotes from "How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less" and what do they mean?

• "The better you are at connecting with other people, the better the quality of your life." This emphasizes the importance of interpersonal skills in enhancing life experiences and opportunities.
• "People who connect live longer." This highlights the health benefits of social connections, supported by studies showing increased longevity among socially active individuals.
• "If people like you, they feel natural and comfortable around you." Likability fosters ease and openness in interactions, leading to more meaningful relationships.
• "Your attitude precedes you." This underscores the impact of attitude on first impressions and the importance of managing it to create positive interactions.