The Men We Need

What's "The Men We Need" about?

• Purpose of the Book: "The Men We Need" by Brant Hansen explores what it means to be a man according to God's design, focusing on being protectors and defenders of the vulnerable.
• Target Audience: The book is aimed at all men, whether they identify as "manly men," "avid indoorsmen," or any man willing to step up to the responsibilities God has set for them.
• Cultural Context: It addresses the confusion in modern culture about masculinity and provides a biblical perspective on what men are supposed to do.
• Practical Guidance: Hansen offers practical advice and insights on how men can fulfill their roles as "keepers of the garden," a metaphor for being responsible and nurturing in their environments.

Why should I read "The Men We Need"?

• Understanding Masculinity: The book provides a clear, biblical understanding of masculinity, which is often misunderstood in today's culture.
• Practical Advice: It offers actionable steps for men to become protectors and defenders, which can improve personal relationships and community well-being.
• Humor and Seriousness: Brant Hansen combines humor with serious insights, making the book both engaging and thought-provoking.
• Broader Appeal: While focused on men, the book is also recommended for women to understand the challenges and expectations men face.

What are the key takeaways of "The Men We Need"?

• Masculinity and Responsibility: True masculinity is about taking responsibility and being a protector and defender of the vulnerable.
• Rejecting Passivity: Men should actively engage in their roles and not be passive, as passivity can lead to harm and insecurity for those around them.
• Real vs. Fake: Men should forsake fake accomplishments and relationships, like those found in video games and pornography, and relish real-life responsibilities and connections.
• Spiritual Loyalty: A man's spiritual life should be marked by loyalty to God, which is more important than emotional experiences or religious rituals.

What are the six decisions that will set men apart according to Brant Hansen?

• Forsake the Fake: Men should reject fake accomplishments and relationships and focus on real-life responsibilities.
• Protect the Vulnerable: Men are called to be protectors and defenders of those who are vulnerable in their communities.
• Be Ambitious about the Right Things: Ambition should be directed towards meaningful and life-giving pursuits, not just personal gain.
• Make Women and Children Feel Safe: Men should ensure that women and children feel secure and not threatened by their presence.
• Choose Today Who You Will Become Tomorrow: Men should be intentional about their growth and the kind of person they want to become.
• Take Responsibility for Your Own Spiritual Life: Men should actively cultivate their spiritual lives, focusing on loyalty to God.

How does Brant Hansen define "keeper of the garden"?

• Biblical Reference: The term comes from the role given to Adam in the Garden of Eden, which was to guard, protect, and cultivate.
• Modern Application: Hansen uses it as a metaphor for men to take responsibility for their environments, ensuring they are places where people can thrive.
• Role of Protector: Being a keeper means actively defending and nurturing those around you, especially the vulnerable.
• Cultural Relevance: In a world that often sends mixed messages about masculinity, this role provides a clear and purposeful direction for men.

What does Brant Hansen say about passivity in men?

• Danger of Passivity: Passivity is seen as a betrayal of a man's role as a protector and can lead to insecurity and harm for those around him.
• Cultural Issue: Many men today are passive, which is more common than being overbearing or aggressive, according to family counselors.
• Call to Action: Men are encouraged to be active and engaged in their roles, taking responsibility for their actions and their impact on others.
• Biblical Example: Adam's passivity in the Garden of Eden is used as a cautionary tale of what happens when men do not fulfill their protective roles.

What is the significance of "forsake the fake and relish the real" in the book?

• Rejecting Illusions: Men are encouraged to reject fake accomplishments and relationships, such as those found in video games and pornography.
• Embracing Reality: The focus should be on real-life responsibilities and connections that bring true fulfillment and purpose.
• Impact on Life: Engaging with the real world helps men fulfill their roles as protectors and defenders, leading to a more meaningful life.
• Cultural Challenge: In a culture that often values superficial achievements, this decision calls men to prioritize what truly matters.

How does "The Men We Need" address the issue of pornography?

• Brain Impact: Hansen discusses how pornography can alter the brain, leading to issues with real-life relationships and sexual performance.
• Isolation vs. Connection: Pornography creates a false sense of connection while isolating individuals from real relationships.
• Destructive Nature: It is portrayed as a fake accomplishment that detracts from a man's ability to be a protector and defender.
• Path to Freedom: The book encourages men to seek a bigger vision for their lives that goes beyond temporary pleasures.

What does Brant Hansen say about ambition and work?

• Meaningful Ambition: Ambition should be directed towards meaningful and life-giving pursuits, not just personal gain or status.
• Value of Work: Even seemingly menial jobs are valuable as they serve others and contribute to the community.
• Contentment and Freedom: True contentment comes from being ambitious about the right things and not being driven by material desires.
• Commitment and Sacrifice: Men are encouraged to commit to their roles and responsibilities, even if it means sacrificing personal desires.

How does "The Men We Need" define love in relationships?

• True Love: Love is defined as wanting the best for someone else, not just seeking personal satisfaction or pleasure.
• Commitment: True love involves commitment and security, providing a stable and nurturing environment for loved ones.
• Self-Sacrifice: Love often requires self-sacrifice and putting the needs of others before one's own desires.
• Contrast with Culture: This definition contrasts with cultural messages that often equate love with self-gratification and temporary feelings.

What role does spiritual life play in "The Men We Need"?

• Loyalty to God: The book emphasizes the importance of loyalty to God over emotional experiences or religious rituals.
• Personal Responsibility: Men are encouraged to take responsibility for their own spiritual growth and relationship with God.
• Obedience Over Emotion: Spirituality is more about obedience and loyalty than about feeling certain emotions.
• Foundation for Life: A strong spiritual life provides the foundation for fulfilling the roles of protector and defender in the community.

What are the best quotes from "The Men We Need" and what do they mean?

• "Masculinity is about taking responsibility." This quote encapsulates the book's message that true masculinity involves being accountable and proactive in one's roles.
• "Forsake the fake and relish the real." It highlights the importance of engaging with real-life responsibilities and relationships over superficial or fake accomplishments.
• "What you do actually matters." This emphasizes the impact of a man's actions on his environment and the people around him, encouraging intentional living.
• "The world needs men to show up." A call to action for men to be present and engaged in their roles as protectors and defenders, fulfilling their God-given purpose.