重点摘要
1. 认识你的价值并克服自我怀疑
“如果你是女性,你可能会有一个声音在你脑海中低语:‘你确定你真的有你想象的那么好吗?’”
克服内在障碍。 女性常常低估自己的价值,并犹豫是否要求应得的东西。这种自我怀疑可能导致错失机会和较低的报酬。为了应对这种情况:
- 识别并挑战你脑海中的负面声音
- 承认自己的成就和独特技能
- 寻求可信赖的同事和导师的反馈
- 与适当的基准进行比较,而不仅仅是其他女性
接受你有权谈判的事实。 理解谈判不仅仅适用于高风险的情况,而是改善日常生活的工具。通过认识到你的价值和谈判的权利,你可以:
- 提高薪水和福利
- 获得更多责任和更好的机会
- 改善工作与生活的平衡
- 增强个人和职业关系
2. 研究和准备是成功谈判的关键
“在谈判中,信息就是力量。你掌握的信息越多,你就越能自信且有说服力地设定一个积极但现实的目标并捍卫你的立场。”
收集全面的信息。 在进入任何谈判之前,武装自己以了解:
- 你职位或服务的市场价格
- 你所在组织的财务状况和政策
- 对方的利益、限制和决策过程
- 行业趋势和基准
利用多种来源。 为了建立一个强有力的案例:
- 使用在线资源,如薪资数据库和行业报告
- 利用你的专业网络获取内部信息
- 咨询导师或职业教练
- 分析公司财务报告和公开披露
通过彻底的研究和准备,你将能够设定现实的目标,预见反对意见,并从强势地位进行谈判。
3. 设定高目标并要求超过你想要的
“如果你从未听到‘不’,那说明你要求得还不够。”
设定高目标并战略性地锚定。 设定雄心勃勃的目标对于在谈判中取得更好结果至关重要。研究表明,你要求的东西与最终得到的东西之间有直接的关联。
- 设定的目标高于你实际想要的
- 第一次报价高于你的目标
- 利用“锚定”效应,通过高起点来占据优势
克服对过度要求的恐惧。 许多女性担心显得贪婪或不合理。通过以下方式应对这种情况:
- 提醒自己你的价值和你带来的价值
- 在低风险情况下练习要求更多
- 将“否定”重新定义为谈判过程中的正常部分,而不是个人拒绝
记住,要求太少比目标太高更容易让你错失机会。
4. 使用合作性谈判创造双赢解决方案
“当人们共同努力实现一个双方满意的解决方案时,他们更有可能对协议条款感到承诺。”
关注利益而非立场。 合作性谈判涉及理解双方的潜在利益,并找到满足这些利益的创造性解决方案。
- 提出开放性问题以了解对方的需求
- 分享你自己的利益和优先事项
- 寻找“扩大蛋糕”的方法,为双方创造价值
使用滚动技术。 交换对双方价值不同的项目:
- 确定对你来说优先级高但对他们来说优先级低的问题
- 在不太重要的问题上做出让步,以换取在更重要问题上的收益
- 提出同时解决多个利益的打包交易
通过采取合作的方法,你可以达成更令人满意和持久的协议。
5. 战略性地选择谈判时机
“在你的谈判力强且对方最能接受你的提议时提出要求。”
选择合适的时机。 时机可以显著影响谈判的结果。考虑:
- 你最近的成就或成功
- 组织的财务状况和增长期
- 领导层或组织结构的变化
- 对方的情绪和压力水平
积极主动,但要有耐心。 虽然早期和频繁地谈判很重要,但有时等待合适的时机可以带来更好的结果:
- 在完成重大项目或获得认可之后
- 在绩效评估或预算规划期间
- 当组织正在经历增长或成功时
然而,不要等得太久。长期的挫败感可能导致负面情绪,阻碍有效的谈判。
6. 通过练习和角色扮演建立信心
“提前排练可以防止这种情况发生。一旦你在角色扮演中预见并体验了一种情绪,当这种情绪在实际谈判中出现时,它就不会显得那么生硬和强烈。”
模拟真实的谈判。 角色扮演帮助你:
- 预见潜在的反对意见并练习回应
- 管理情绪并专注于目标
- 改进你的语言和表达
为各种情景做准备。 在角色扮演中:
- 与不同性格的人练习(激进、被动、合作)
- 排练处理对话中的意外转折
- 试验各种谈判策略和战术
寻求反馈。 角色扮演后:
- 请你的伙伴对你的表现进行诚实的批评
- 找出论点和表达中的改进点
- 根据收到的反馈调整你的方法
定期练习将建立你的信心,并帮助你在实际谈判中保持冷静和专注。
7. 在坚定谈判的同时保持亲和力
“在谈判中要特别努力显得亲和。这并不意味着你应该改变你所要求的内容或淡化你的雄心和目标。”
在坚定与温暖之间找到平衡。 研究表明,女性在谈判中面临独特的挑战:她们必须坚定才能有效,但如果显得过于激进,则可能被负面看待。
为了应对这种情况:
- 使用友好、合作的语气
- 以互惠互利的方式提出请求
- 表达对对方时间和考虑的感激
采用“坚持不懈的友好”策略:
- 微笑并保持温暖的眼神接触
- 使用包容性语言(“我们”而不是“我”)
- 承认对方的观点
- 即使紧张情绪上升,也要保持冷静和镇定
通过将坚定与亲和力结合起来,你可以有效地为自己争取,同时保持积极的关系。
8. 控制节奏并在需要时休息
“不要让自己被催促。专业谈判者知道,管理谈判的节奏可以防止混乱。”
管理节奏。 控制谈判的节奏可以让你:
- 彻底处理信息
- 形成深思熟虑的回应
- 避免在压力下做出仓促决定
节奏管理策略:
- 提出澄清问题以放慢节奏
- 总结要点以确保相互理解
- 请求时间来审查复杂信息
采取战略性休息。 暂停谈判在以下情况下是有益的:
- 你需要重新组织或咨询他人
- 情绪高涨
- 你收到意外信息或提议
不要犹豫说:“让我们休息一下,考虑一下。”利用这段时间重新评估你的策略并保持冷静。
9. 专注于你的目标并抵制过早妥协
“记住你真正想要的,你确定的目标,并在谈判过程中始终牢记这一点。”
专注于你的目标。 在整个谈判过程中:
- 将你的目标价值放在首位
- 抵制妥协到你的保留价值(最低可接受结果)的冲动
- 准备好提出多次反报价
保持专注的策略:
- 写下你的目标并在休息时参考
- 通过想象实现目标来保持动力
- 使用锚定技术使谈判围绕你的目标进行
避免过早达成协议。 研究表明,专注于你的目标而不是最低可接受结果会带来更好的结果。愿意延长谈判并多次尝试达到你的目标,然后再妥协。
记住,谈判在双方达成一致之前都没有结束。通过专注于你的目标并抵制过早妥协,你增加了实现你真正想要的结果的机会。
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FAQ
What's Ask For It about?
- Focus on Negotiation: Ask For It by Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever emphasizes the importance of negotiation for women in both personal and professional contexts.
- Empowerment Through Strategy: The book provides practical strategies to help women recognize their worth and negotiate effectively.
- Four-Phase Program: It outlines a four-phase program to guide women through the negotiation process, from identifying desires to executing negotiations.
- Real-Life Examples: The authors include stories of women who successfully negotiated for better salaries, promotions, and work-life balance.
Why should I read Ask For It?
- Addressing Gender Disparities: The book tackles the gender gap in negotiation, highlighting how women often earn less due to not negotiating.
- Practical Strategies: It offers actionable advice, including negotiation techniques and exercises to build confidence.
- Inspiration and Motivation: Real-life stories of women overcoming obstacles serve as motivation for readers to take charge of their negotiations.
- Mindset Shift: The book fosters a mindset shift towards viewing negotiation as a necessary and valuable skill.
What are the key takeaways of Ask For It?
- Everything Is Negotiable: Many aspects of life, not just salaries, are negotiable, and women should recognize these opportunities.
- Know Your Worth: Understanding your value is crucial for effective negotiation, and the book stresses the importance of researching market rates.
- Aim High: Setting ambitious targets can lead to better outcomes, as women often underestimate their worth.
- Cooperative Bargaining Approach: Negotiation should be seen as a collaborative process to find mutually beneficial solutions.
What is the four-phase program in Ask For It?
- Phase One - Everything Is Negotiable: Encourages women to identify what they truly want and recognize negotiable opportunities.
- Phase Two - Lay the Groundwork: Focuses on gathering information and preparing for negotiations by understanding one's worth.
- Phase Three - Get Ready: Involves setting targets and refining negotiation strategies through practical exercises.
- Phase Four - Put It All Together: Emphasizes practicing negotiation skills and managing anxiety during negotiations.
What is a BATNA in negotiation as described in Ask For It?
- Definition of BATNA: BATNA stands for "Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement," representing the best option if negotiations fail.
- Importance of BATNA: Knowing your BATNA provides leverage, allowing you to walk away if terms are unfavorable.
- Improving Your BATNA: The book suggests exploring other offers to strengthen your BATNA and boost confidence in negotiations.
How can I identify what I really want according to Ask For It?
- Self-Reflection Questions: The book provides questions to help clarify desires and goals, focusing on past experiences and fulfillment.
- Assessing Strengths and Weaknesses: Evaluating personal strengths and weaknesses aids in setting realistic and ambitious goals.
- Visualizing the Future: Visualizing an ideal future helps in formulating specific goals for negotiation.
What are some common barriers women face in negotiation as discussed in Ask For It?
- Societal Conditioning: Women are often conditioned to be modest, leading to self-doubt and reluctance to negotiate.
- Fear of Rejection: Concerns about being perceived as pushy can prevent women from advocating for themselves.
- Lack of Information: Women may lack access to information about salary ranges and negotiation practices, leading to undervaluation.
What specific negotiation strategies are discussed in Ask For It?
- Preparation is Key: Thorough preparation, including understanding goals and researching the other party's interests, is crucial.
- Use of Role-Playing: Practicing negotiations through role-playing helps build confidence and anticipate challenges.
- Framing Requests Positively: Requests should be framed to highlight mutual benefits, enhancing the likelihood of success.
What is the "fixed-pie bias" mentioned in Ask For It?
- Definition of Fixed-Pie Bias: It's the assumption that resources are limited and must be divided, hindering creative solutions.
- Impact on Negotiation Outcomes: This bias can lead to missed opportunities for collaboration and mutual benefit.
- Encouragement to Think Creatively: The book encourages expanding possibilities rather than simply dividing resources.
How does Ask For It address the issue of likability in negotiations?
- Importance of Likability: Women face a double standard where assertiveness can be perceived negatively.
- Relentlessly Pleasant Approach: The book advocates for a style that balances assertiveness with a friendly demeanor.
- Balancing Assertiveness and Warmth: Women can be both assertive and warm, enhancing negotiation success without sacrificing likability.
What role does emotional intelligence play in negotiations as discussed in Ask For It?
- Managing Emotions: Recognizing and managing emotions is crucial for maintaining a constructive negotiation atmosphere.
- Using Emotions to Your Advantage: Positive emotions can enhance creativity and problem-solving during negotiations.
- Dealing with Negative Emotions: Strategies like taking breaks help prevent emotional reactions from derailing negotiations.
What are the best quotes from Ask For It and what do they mean?
- “If you never hear no, you’re not asking enough.”: Encourages pushing boundaries and seeking opportunities.
- “Everything is negotiable.”: Reminds readers of the potential for change through negotiation.
- “You can ask for more than you think.”: Reinforces the idea that women often underestimate their worth and should aim higher.
评论
《大胆开口》获得了大多数正面评价,读者们称赞其为女性提供的实用谈判建议。许多人认为这本书让他们大开眼界,增强了他们在职业和个人生活中提出更多要求的信心。书中的众多实例和故事引起了读者的共鸣,尽管有些人觉得这些内容有些重复。批评者指出了激进谈判的潜在缺点,并希望能有更多细致入微的建议。总体而言,评论者推荐这本书,认为它是女性提升谈判技巧和为自己争取权益的必读之作。
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