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Patronen doorbreken

Patronen doorbreken

Negatieve gevoelens en gewoonten herkennen en veranderen
作者 Hannie van Genderen 2012 200 页数
3.97
1k+ 评分
Listen to Summary

重点摘要

1. 理解图式疗法:一种整体的心理健康方法

图式疗法是心理治疗领域的最新进展之一。它是认知行为疗法的发展,结合了各种心理治疗方法的理念。

方法的整合。 图式疗法将认知行为技术与心理动力学、依恋和体验疗法的元素相结合。这种整合使得复杂情感问题和人格障碍的全面治疗成为可能。

关注早期经历。 该疗法强调童年和青少年经历在塑造成人情感模式中的作用。它识别出不适应的图式,或自我挫败的核心主题,这些主题在生命早期发展并持续到成年。

基于模式的框架。 图式疗法引入了“模式”的概念——个体在不同情感状态或行为模式之间切换。这些模式包括:

  • 儿童模式(脆弱、愤怒、冲动、快乐)
  • 父母模式(惩罚、苛求、批评)
  • 应对模式(回避、过度补偿、屈从)
  • 健康成人模式

2. 识别儿童模式:脆弱、愤怒和快乐

儿童模式是一种看待世界和他人的方式,类似于儿童的感知。

脆弱儿童模式。 这种模式体现了被遗弃、情感匮乏和缺陷的感觉。通常由感知到的拒绝或批评触发,导致强烈的悲伤、焦虑或羞耻。

愤怒儿童模式。 以强烈的愤怒、挫折或反抗为特征,这种模式通常是对未满足需求或感知到的不公正的反应。可能表现为发脾气或攻击性行为。

快乐儿童模式。 这种健康模式代表了快乐、自发和玩乐的感觉。与安全感和满足感相关,通常在有显著情感困难的个体中被压抑。

  • 儿童模式的关键特征:
  • 情绪强烈,与当前情况不成比例
  • 情绪调节困难
  • 倾向于冲动反应
  • 与早期生活经历有强烈联系

3. 识别功能失调的父母模式及其影响

功能失调的父母模式是一种负面的内心声音,不断告诉你自己不好或没有价值,永远不会被他人接受或爱。

起源和类型。 功能失调的父母模式通常来自内化的批评、苛求或虐待性照顾者的信息。表现为:

  • 苛求父母模式:追求完美和高成就
  • 惩罚父母模式:严厉的自我批评和自我惩罚
  • 诱发内疚父母模式:对他人过度的责任感

对自我认知的影响。 这些模式延续了负面的自我信念,导致低自尊、长期内疚或持续的不足感。它们常常触发脆弱儿童模式,造成情感困扰的循环。

对健康功能的干扰。 功能失调的父母模式通过施加不切实际的标准或过度的自我批评,阻碍个人成长、关系满意度和整体幸福感。

4. 应对模式:处理情感困扰的策略

应对风格是一种心理生存策略,用于应对威胁性的情感和经历。

应对模式的类型:

  1. 屈从:屈服于功能失调的父母模式的要求
  2. 回避:通过退缩或分心逃避情感痛苦
  3. 过度补偿:以与核心不足感相反的方式行事

短期缓解,长期问题。 虽然应对模式提供了暂时的情感缓解,但它们往往导致关系、自尊和个人成长中的持续问题。

童年起源。 应对模式通常作为对困难童年环境的适应策略而发展。然而,当它们在成年期没有灵活性地延续时,就变得不适应。

  • 问题性应对的迹象:
  • 一贯的回避冲突或责任的模式
  • 表达需求或设定界限的困难
  • 在社交场合中倾向于过度反应或支配
  • 依赖物质或行为来管理情绪

5. 发展健康成人模式以实现平衡生活

健康成人模式是你内在的高级权威。它对你的情感和其他心理过程有一个相当客观、合理的概述。

健康成人模式的特征:

  • 能够平衡自己的需求与他人的需求
  • 对情况和关系的现实判断
  • 能够建设性地处理冲突
  • 享受成人的乐趣和责任

培养健康成人。 发展这种模式包括:

  1. 练习自我反思和情感意识
  2. 学习设定适当的界限
  3. 在不被情绪压倒的情况下进行问题解决
  4. 培养健康的关系和追求

与其他模式的平衡。 健康成人模式与快乐儿童模式和谐共处,同时调节功能失调的父母和应对模式的影响。

6. 通过自我同情治愈脆弱儿童模式

正是西格蒙德·弗洛伊德说过,治疗的最重要目标是学会成为自己良好的母亲和父亲。

接触脆弱儿童。 通过想象练习和探索童年记忆等技术帮助连接脆弱儿童模式的情感和需求。

自我同情练习:

  • 承认和验证痛苦的情感
  • 想象安慰“内在小孩”
  • 使用符号或物品作为自我关怀的提醒
  • 给自己写支持性的信件

挑战负面自我对话。 识别和反驳功能失调的父母模式的信息对于培养脆弱儿童模式至关重要。

  • 治愈脆弱儿童的步骤:
  1. 识别触发情境
  2. 探索相关的童年记忆
  3. 确定未满足的情感需求
  4. 练习自我同情的反应
  5. 逐步以健康的方式满足未满足的需求

7. 有效管理愤怒和冲动的儿童模式

这种应对模式的关键特征是人们避免他们认为困难的事情。

理解根源。 愤怒和冲动的儿童模式通常源于不公平待遇、缺乏自主权或童年时期的限制不足。

管理策略:

  1. 识别激活的早期预警信号
  2. 学习适当地、果断地表达愤怒
  3. 练习冲动控制技巧
  4. 以更健康的方式解决潜在需求

平衡需求和限制。 目标不是完全压抑愤怒或自发性,而是以尊重个人需求和社会界限的方式表达它们。

  • 管理愤怒/冲动模式的练习:
  • 对行为进行利弊分析
  • 使用想象练习替代反应
  • 进行“椅子对话”以探索不同观点
  • 实施逐步的行为改变实验

8. 培养快乐儿童模式以实现情感健康

当你的快乐儿童模式被压抑或从未在你的生活中扮演重要角色时,在尝试与之接触时,尤其重要的是要慢慢来。

重新连接快乐。 使用想象练习回忆积极的童年记忆或最近的愉快经历。这有助于识别激活快乐儿童模式的活动。

将玩乐融入日常生活:

  • 定期安排时间进行娱乐和放松
  • 探索新爱好或重拾旧爱好
  • 参与自发的、孩子般的活动
  • 与他人分享快乐的经历

克服障碍。 注意可能干扰自己体验快乐和乐趣的惩罚性父母模式。

  • 加强快乐儿童模式的步骤:
  1. 识别引发快乐和轻松感的情境
  2. 逐步增加参与这些活动的频率
  3. 练习无罪享受的自我许可
  4. 创造一个鼓励玩乐的支持性环境

9. 克服功能失调的父母模式

你惩罚性父母模式的信息可能对你非常清晰。现在,想想你生活中那些自我同情并支持你、承认你的需求和感受的人。

识别有害信息。 列出批评或苛求的“父母信息”及其来源。区分建设性的自律和破坏性的自我批评。

挑战负面自我对话:

  1. 为有害信息制定反驳
  2. 使用符号或提醒来加强积极的自我对话
  3. 寻求可信赖他人的支持以验证你的价值

逐步替代。 用更平衡、富有同情心的自我期望替代苛刻、不切实际的标准。

  • 消除功能失调父母模式的技巧:
  • 与支持性人物进行想象练习
  • 给自己写富有同情心的信件
  • 使用积极的肯定语
  • 练习自我验证和自我接纳

10. 转变应对模式以实现更健康的情感反应

这里的主要目标是修改,实际上是削弱你的应对模式,以便在你试图满足需求时不再妨碍你。

评估当前的应对策略。 识别你主要应对模式的利弊。认识到它们在过去可能是适应性的,但现在却是限制性的。

发展替代反应:

  1. 在挑战性情境中练习激活健康成人模式
  2. 逐步让自己接触被回避的情境或情感
  3. 学习果断地表达需求和设定界限
  4. 培养自我意识以捕捉过度补偿行为

耐心和坚持。 改变长期的应对模式需要时间,最初可能会感到不适。庆祝小的成功并从挫折中学习。

  • 转变应对模式的步骤:
  1. 识别触发情境
  2. 计划小而可控的行为改变
  3. 使用想象练习排练新反应
  4. 在现实生活中逐步实施改变
  5. 反思结果并调整策略

最后更新日期:

FAQ

What's "Patronen doorbreken" about?

  • Schema Therapy Focus: "Patronen doorbreken" by Hannie van Genderen focuses on schema therapy, a form of psychotherapy that helps individuals recognize and change negative patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving.
  • Understanding Patterns: The book aims to help readers understand the origins of their negative patterns, which often stem from childhood experiences, and how these patterns affect their current life.
  • Modes and Change: It introduces the concept of "modes" in schema therapy, such as Child Modes, Parent Modes, and Coping Modes, and provides strategies to change these modes for a healthier mindset.
  • Self-Help and Support: The book serves as both a self-help guide and a support tool for those undergoing schema therapy, offering exercises and worksheets to facilitate personal growth.

Why should I read "Patronen doorbreken"?

  • Personal Growth: The book provides tools and insights for personal development by helping you understand and change negative patterns in your life.
  • Emotional Awareness: It enhances emotional awareness by teaching you to recognize different modes of thinking and feeling, which can lead to better emotional regulation.
  • Practical Exercises: With practical exercises and worksheets, the book offers actionable steps to implement changes in your daily life.
  • Therapeutic Support: Whether you're in therapy or not, the book acts as a supportive resource to guide you through the process of self-discovery and healing.

What are the key takeaways of "Patronen doorbreken"?

  • Schema Modes: Understanding the different schema modes—Child Modes, Parent Modes, and Coping Modes—is crucial for identifying negative patterns.
  • Origins of Patterns: Recognizing that many negative patterns originate from childhood experiences helps in addressing the root causes of current issues.
  • Change Strategies: The book provides strategies to change dysfunctional modes, such as setting limits to Parent Modes and strengthening the Healthy Adult Mode.
  • Self-Compassion: Emphasizing self-compassion and self-care is essential for healing and personal growth.

What is Schema Therapy according to "Patronen doorbreken"?

  • Integrative Approach: Schema therapy combines elements from cognitive behavioral therapy, depth psychology, and humanistic therapy to address deep-seated patterns.
  • Focus on Emotions: It places significant emphasis on emotions, both positive and negative, and their origins in childhood experiences.
  • Schema Modes: The therapy identifies different modes of thinking and feeling, such as Vulnerable Child Mode and Punitive Parent Mode, to understand and change behavior.
  • Therapeutic Relationship: The approach fosters a collaborative relationship between therapist and client, focusing on meeting the client's needs.

How does "Patronen doorbreken" define Child Modes?

  • Vulnerable Child Mode: Associated with feelings of sadness, anxiety, and loneliness, often triggered by perceived rejection or abandonment.
  • Angry and Impulsive Child Modes: Characterized by feelings of rage, defiance, and impulsivity, often resulting from unmet needs or perceived unfairness.
  • Happy Child Mode: A healthy mode associated with feelings of playfulness, curiosity, and joy, which the book encourages readers to strengthen.
  • Emotional Triggers: Child Modes are typically activated by situations that threaten basic emotional needs like safety and attachment.

What are Dysfunctional Parent Modes in "Patronen doorbreken"?

  • Demanding Parent Mode: Involves unrelenting standards and pressure to achieve, often leading to feelings of failure when expectations are not met.
  • Guilt-Inducing Parent Mode: Makes individuals feel responsible for others' happiness, leading to guilt when they prioritize their own needs.
  • Punitive Parent Mode: Involves self-devaluation and harsh self-criticism, often stemming from experiences of abuse or neglect.
  • Origins and Impact: These modes often originate from childhood experiences with parents or authority figures and can significantly impact self-esteem and behavior.

How does "Patronen doorbreken" suggest changing Coping Modes?

  • Identify and Understand: The first step is to identify your dominant Coping Modes, such as Avoidant, Surrendering, or Overcompensatory, and understand their origins.
  • Pros and Cons: Create a list of the advantages and disadvantages of your Coping Modes to understand their impact on your life.
  • Behavior Experiments: Engage in behavior experiments to try out new, healthier ways of coping with difficult situations.
  • Gradual Change: The book emphasizes small, realistic steps towards change, encouraging patience and persistence.

What exercises does "Patronen doorbreken" offer for healing Vulnerable Child Modes?

  • Imagery Exercises: Use imagery exercises to connect with your Vulnerable Child Mode and understand its needs and emotions.
  • Self-Compassion: Practice self-compassion by acknowledging and accepting your feelings, and addressing unmet needs.
  • Comforting Imagery: Create comforting mental images where your adult self supports and reassures your inner child.
  • Symbolic Gestures: Use symbols, songs, or gestures as reminders to take care of your Vulnerable Child Mode in daily life.

How can I strengthen the Happy Child Mode according to "Patronen doorbreken"?

  • Imagery and Memories: Use imagery exercises to recall happy memories and build an emotional bridge to current activities that evoke similar feelings.
  • Playful Activities: Engage in playful and curious activities that promote joy and relaxation, such as singing, dancing, or playing games.
  • Balance and Inclusion: Integrate Happy Child activities into your routine while balancing responsibilities and including others in your fun.
  • Gradual Steps: Strengthening the Happy Child Mode takes time and should be approached with small, manageable steps.

What strategies does "Patronen doorbreken" suggest for setting limits to Dysfunctional Parent Modes?

  • Identify Messages: List the critical inner voices and messages from your Dysfunctional Parent Modes and understand their origins.
  • New Life Rules: Develop healthier, more balanced life rules to replace damaging messages from your Parent Modes.
  • Symbolic Reminders: Use symbols or letters to remind yourself of your intention to silence these negative voices.
  • Inner Helper: Imagine an inner helper who supports and reassures you, counteracting the negative messages from your Parent Modes.

How does "Patronen doorbreken" define the Healthy Adult Mode?

  • Balanced Perspective: The Healthy Adult Mode provides a realistic and balanced perspective on yourself and your relationships.
  • Emotional Regulation: It helps you manage emotions without being overwhelmed, allowing for constructive problem-solving.
  • Needs and Responsibilities: Balances personal needs with responsibilities and the needs of others, promoting healthy relationships.
  • Role Models: Encourages finding role models who exemplify Healthy Adult behavior to guide your personal development.

What are the best quotes from "Patronen doorbreken" and what do they mean?

  • "Learn to be a good parent to yourself": This quote emphasizes the importance of self-care and self-compassion in healing and personal growth.
  • "Your negative thinking patterns are the 'beaten track'": Highlights the repetitive nature of negative patterns and the need to understand their origins to change them.
  • "The Healthy Adult Mode is your internal superior authority": Stresses the role of the Healthy Adult Mode in providing balance and perspective in life.
  • "Imagery exercises are a powerful tool": Underlines the effectiveness of imagery exercises in connecting with and healing different modes.

评论

3.97 满分 5
平均评分来自 1k+ 来自Goodreads和亚马逊的评分.

读者们发现《打破消极思维模式》内容深刻且易于理解,赞赏其对图式疗法概念的清晰解释。许多人对书中的实用练习和例子表示赞赏,认为它们有助于自我反思和理解行为模式。有些人指出书中的写作风格简单,吸引了广泛的读者群,但对某些人来说可能显得过于简化。尽管有些读者希望书中能有更多的科学深度,但大多数人认为书中关于识别和解决源于童年经历的消极思维模式的方法具有价值。总体而言,推荐给那些对自我提升和理解心理图式感兴趣的人。

Your rating:

关于作者

吉塔·雅各布是一位德国心理学家和心理治疗师,专注于图式疗法。她撰写了多本关于该主题的书籍,包括《打破消极思维模式》。雅各布以其在开发和推广图式疗法技术方面的工作而闻名,这些技术侧重于识别和改变根深蒂固的思维和行为模式。她的方法结合了认知行为疗法、依恋理论和心理动力学概念的元素。雅各布的写作风格常被描述为通俗易懂且实用,使复杂的心理学概念对普通读者来说易于理解。她在心理治疗领域做出了重要贡献,特别是在治疗人格障碍和慢性情绪困难方面。

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